The Vikings
Cheese had decided to skip school to fight vikings.
This was a very reasonable course of action that took some explaining.
Ever since he came home from Rarity’s, Cheese Pie had committed to making a memory box. His Mum had said it should be a happy memory box, and just filled with good things, but L’il Cheese wanted to fill it with important memories too. And not all important memories were good ones.
But then his Mum said if it was important, he probably wouldn’t need help remembering it. But it was really easy to forget the little things that made him happy, because they didn’t seem important. Stuff like helping her cut up fruit to make pies with, or trips out with his Dad. They were the things you needed help remembering later.
Then he said he’d never be too old to help her bake so he wouldn’t need to remember it, and his Mum gave him a really sad smile and said “Oh, sweetheart,” and that had made him scared, so he gave her a quick hug and ran away.
He made a Solemn Vow to himself that he’d never be too old to help his Mum bake. Never, ever, ever.
He told Big Sugar about his idea and, because Big Sugar was really cool like that, instead of making fun of him he asked his Dad if he could make them both boxes. And because Bigger Macintosh was really cool like that, he made them both big boxes out of applewood that he cut, carved, planed and sanded himself. They had a lid that you could slide off to put stuff in them.
He’d burned a picture of Big Sugar’s cutie mark - Big Macintosh could make pictures by burning wood seriously how cool was that - onto the top of his son’s, and then told Cheese that he’d do his too when he got his mark.
It was the first time that Cheese had really wanted one.
That doesn’t really get to the vikings though, which Cheese was definitely fighting right now, and are very important.
See, this morning he got a letter from Seddie and Peddie, and he went to put it in his memory box. Except when he went to put it in the box (on top of a menu from Sugarcube Corner and underneath his first tooth to fall out) he couldn’t put it in his box, because he couldn’t find it.
This was obviously a problem, because he had a very safe spot under his bed where he kept it, that nobody else knew about.
Which means, when you think about it, it had obviously been taken. Stolen, really. But it was the only thing that seemed to be taken. His money box still rattled with coins, and none of his Mum’s nice plates were taken, or smashed. Whatever Boneless 5 saw while keeping guard last night had scared him into silence.
So, who goes into a town at night, and steals a wooden chest kept under a bed?
If the town wasn’t landlocked, he’d have said pirates. It couldn’t have been ninjas, either, because... well he didn’t have a good reason, he just kind of knew in his gut that ninjas didn’t take treasure boxes like that.
No. Who went super far inland to steal valuable stuff?
Vikings. Had to be vikings.
This he had assessed very quickly, because he couldn’t have lost the box. It lived under his bed. And nobody else would want to take something like that.
Which is how we get to this present moment.
It was halfway to the first lunch break and Cheese Pie still hadn’t found the vikings that had stolen his memory box.
He was probably going to have to fight them, but he was ready for that. His parents both thought that knowing how to swashbuckle would be a very important life skill for any child of theirs. He’d been taking swordfighting lessons since he was old enough to swing a ukulele.
“You’re my son,” his Dad had said very seriously (and his Dad didn’t get very serious very often so it was a big deal), “so you’re going to have to be able to handle yourself in a fight while carrying a musical solo. It might save your life some day.”
So, today, he had Boneless 5 tied by a red sash to his hip, and got every part from Pirates of Palomino down perfect, so really vikings should be more scared of him. If they didn’t know that, they were going to find out when he found them.
When he found them.
He ran up to the three mares running flower stands in the main street. One of them, Tulip, bent down to pinch his cheeks. Cheese accepted this stoically.
“Aren’t you looking fierce today,” her voice trembled in awe.
“I am hunting for vikings,” he declared, looking off towards the horizon very heroically. “Have you seen any?”
“Thank goodness, I have not.” Tulip looked back at her cart. “Would the brave viking hunter like a flower for his lapel?”
“Yes,” Cheese said so stoically and bravely that Tulip was compelled to pin the flower to his lapel for him. It was pink, the colour of heroism.
Petunia waved from her cart across the street. “What do vikings look like?”
“Ah. I think they walk on two legs, so they have two arms free to swing their big axes. And they’re covered in red hair, and they have big bushy beards. And metal hats.”
Petunia frowned. “That sounds scary. And you’re running towards them?”
“I can’t hunt for vikings by running away from them.” Cheese nodded. “I guess I could walk towards them, but I want to get to them quicker. So I’m running.”
Petunia was stunned into silence by his impeccable logic and reasoning. “Well, if you’re looking for vikings, it sounds like you should listen for screaming, and go towards it. If that’s what they’re like.”
Flashbulb moment. “Wow. That is the smartest thing I’ve ever heard. You’re so right.” He twitched his ears. “I don’t hear any screaming though.”
“That’s good, right?”
Cheese frowned intensely. “Maybe. Or it just means they’ve gotten too far away. Or they’re hiding. But now I know to listen for screams, so that might help.”
Buttercup, who had been squinting at him in silence until now, finally spoke up. “Aren’t you supposed to be in school right now?”
Cheese shook his head. “I have no time to be in school. Vikings stole my box.”
That didn’t convince her. “You saw the vikings that did it?”
“Of course not,” Cheese scoffed, “or I would have stopped them.”
Buttercup narrowed her eyes. “So how do you know it was vikings?”
“Who else would steal my memory box this far inland?” Cheese paused, and tapped his chin. “Though, maybe I was too hasty to rule out ninjas.”
“It can’t have been ninjas,” Tulip agreed. “I don’t know why, but ninjas just... doesn’t seem right.”
“I thought so too! So that just leaves vikings.”
“I mean, the kid makes sense,” Petunia gave Buttercup a serene look, full of adultly wisdom. “I’m definitely going to keep an eye out for vikings, now.”
“Would you?” Cheese sighed in relief, “because that would be a big help.”
“I’ll scream if I see any,” Petunia gave him an earnest toothy grin, which Buttercup rolled her eyes at.
“I’ll scream louder.” Tulip added. Petunia and Tulip locked eyes, this had obviously become a matter of pride.
Buttercup squinted at him. “Maybe we should call your parents, before you get into trouble.”
“I’ll only get in trouble if you tell my parents!” Cheese knew it was the wrong thing to say as soon as he said it. Immediately, Tulip and Petunia stopped smiling.
“Your mum doesn’t know where you are?” Tulip asked.
Petunia nodded at Buttercup. “We should probably tell Pinkie Pie.”
“No! I mean, it’s fine. It’s- I’m going to school now. See?” Cheese smiled very wide and started walking in the direction of school. “I’m just really late.”
Buttercup didn’t seem satisfied by that, but Petunia and Tulip looked at her and said without words; Just take the win. Buttercup sighed.
“If I see you out here again, though, I’m going straight to your mother. Clear?”
Cheese nodded, and ran.
His mum knowing he was cutting school was way scarier than vikings.
Still. He was doing totally fine until Buttercup wondered why he was out by himself. That was suspicious, especially because Cheese Pie did not exactly exude an aura of mature responsibility.
His friend Big Sugar totally did though. And he knew how valuable the box was. And now Cheese was heading towards school anyway.
It was nearly first recess. He could totally get Big Sugar outside without Mrs Cheerilee noticing.
Big Sugar pinched the bridge of his nose. He’d given up on trying to flick the leaves off his fur, since the bushes they were hiding in were dripping with sap that made it impossible.
Cheese didn’t mind because it was great camouflage, and he was naturally sticky anyway. And Big Sugar was enough of a farm kid to deal. But nopony else would look for them here!
“Vikings.” Big Sugar said flatly. “You’re trying to find Vikings to fight.”
“I’m just saying, they took my memory box, they’ll totally get yours too.”
“You are saying it,” Big Sugar un-gave-up on brushing the leaves off, but three more stuck for every one he got off. He gave up again. “You have to do this now?”
Cheese nodded so hard he got dizzy. “Or else they could get away! Vikings don’t wait for school hours.”
“And you need me for...?”
“So I don’t get in trouble.” Cheese pointed at Sugar. “The grownups trust you’re doing what you’re supposed to do.”
Big Sugar thought about that. “So, you’re saying there are vikings.”
“Uh huh.”
“That sounds pretty dangerous.”
“Vikings are very dangerous.”
“And you’re definitely going to cut school, anyway?”
“Obviously.”
Big Sugar’s expression became meditative, and the little puzzle pieces in his head started clicking together. “If we get caught, this was all your idea, and I was just trying my best to keep you from getting hurt?” Big Sugar paused. “I mean, from the vikings. Protect you from the very real vikings.”
“Duh!” Cheese shouted, then popped his head out of the bush to make sure nobody had heard him. Big Sugar pulled him right back down. “The vikings are very real and very dangerous.”
Big Sugar seemed satisfied with that. “Okay, well, vikings sounds way better than grammar.” He offered his hoof, and Cheese shook it vigorously. “Where do you want to look for them first?”
“We need to get somewhere really high up.” Cheese thought about that. “I think Aunty Princess Twilight kept a hot air balloon around here somewhere...”
Sugar’s eyes went wide for a moment. “If we do that, we’ll uh...” he thought about it, “be way too obvious a target for the vikings. They’ll see us from a mile away.”
“Right,” Cheese agreed. “Good thinking.”
Sugar breathed out. “Sweet Apple Acres is pretty high up. We could just climb up to the top of the barn and that’ll give us a good view.”
“Hey! Yeah! Great thinking!” Cheese started moving for it, dragging Sugar behind him, “Maybe they’ll have gone through to take your apples, too.”
Big Sugar ran just after him as, far behind them, the bell rang to call everyone back in from recess.
Big Sugar’s hoof shot across Cheese Pie’s chest as they stepped up to the Acres gates. “Careful now. My parents see us, and we’ll get in trouble.”
“Right, and then the vikings will get away.”
“Yeah, exactly,” Sugar nodded, “Ma’s going to be in the house somewhere, probably reading. Pa’s usually out in the fields somewhere, so we just gotta make sure we see him before he sees us. So keep your eyes peeled.”
Cheese saluted, and crouched low. Sugar followed his lead, and they crept through Sweet Apple Acres, pressing their backs to the rows of apple trees and listening carefully for Big Mac’s heavy hooves. Dirt wasn’t very loud, though, so they had to move slow - which was just more time to get caught.
“You can see the barn from the house,” Sugar told him, “so we gotta sneak all the way around.”
“This isn’t nearly as fun as a hot air balloon,” Cheese whined, tugging on Sugar’s shoulder. Sugar shrugged him off.
“It’s a lot safer. Besides, we can grab lunch on the way back down.”
“I could have packed us a picnic for the balloon ride.” Cheese bumped into Sugar, but Sugar stood firm. Way too much muscle.
“Where’d you have gotten the food to pack without asking your Mum?”
“Look! Okay! I guess!”
Sugar shushed him, and they pressed on in a long loop around the house towards the barn. It only took a few minutes, but they were tense, and a bit fun. Sugar had a dumb grin the entire time they stalked through the treeline, like guerilla soldiers.
The barn was in a long clearing, which meant they had to cross the last bit in a flat sprint. There was nothing else for it. They cleared the distance and dove into a pile of hay, keeping very still and panting with their ears pricked up, waiting.
No sounds.
“I think we made it.” Big Sugar pointed to a ladder at the back of the barn. “Up there’s the lookout. Up there, you can see the whole of Ponyville.”
Cheese clapped his forehooves, and the smack died in the hay bale soundproofing. No echoes in here. “Perfect. From there, we plan our next move.”
Big Sugar took the lead, and Cheese followed suit. At the top of the barn was a lookout with a telescope pointed down at the town.
Set up next to it was an easel with charcoals and water colours. The charcoal sketches went up on butchers paper sheafs that littered the lookout floor like autumn leaves.
Another pot of tiny paint jars were stacked on a drawing of Carousel Boutique, and drip-drying on the backs of art magazines was a miniature army of dwarves arranged in formation. Squads, regiments. Especially intricate detailing had been put on the artillery with the tiniest brush strokes.
A few watercolours on canvas were propped up in the corners, and Cheese made a curious note that they were all landscapes and buildings. Technical, rather than expressive.
Sugar never would have Cheese’s imagination. But he had an attention for detail, a discipline and a focus that Cheese couldn’t help but feel really jealous of.
“Wow. I’ve never been up here before.” Cheese whispered, getting down low to the dwarves. “You haven’t told me about any of this stuff.”
Sugar shrugged uncomfortably. “I don’t like anyone seeing my unfinished work is all.”
“But you haven’t shown me any of your finished stuff, either!”
“I’ll finish something one day,” Sugar finished, looking at his easel. "Maybe I'll show you for real, then." Cheese was pretty sure all these drawings looked finished to him, though.
He looked through the telescope. “Wow. You really can see the whole town from here.” Cheese flicked from Sugarcube Corner to the Friendship Castle. “I don’t see any vikings though.”
Sugar cleared his throat. “Were you expecting to?”
“I mean,” Cheese swept the scope back to his house, “They’ve gotta be somewhere. They can’t have gotten that far.”
“I thought you were just saying that,” Sugar’s voice wavered somewhere between guilt and concern, “I thought you just wanted to get out of school. That was cool. I didn’t think you actually believed the viking stuff.”
“What?” Cheese dropped the scope and spun on a back hoof, “I didn’t just cut school, I cut recess. This is really important to me.”
“Yeah, but the vikings stuff? You sure you just didn’t look hard enough?”
“I looked everywhere I’ve ever put it.” Cheese said firmly. “So it had to be vikings. Because if it’s vikings, I can do something about it. And if I can do something about it, then I don’t have to be sad about it. So it has to be vikings.”
Sugar blinked. “Wait, so, you don’t believe it’s vikings. You just believe you believe it’s vikings, so you don’t gotta be sad?”
Cheese felt his bottom lip tremble, and he hated it. His teeth were just about to start chattering.
Sugar pointed off to the left. “This is the south side of town. Closest ocean’s to the west. So they’ll have headed that way.”
“Okay.” Cheese said, wiping his eyes so he didn’t smudge the eyepiece. He couldn’t see any vikings yet, but he just knew they were out there.
Sugar found a magazine he liked from the pile and snapped it open, making the same cracking sound Cheese heard when Bigger Macintosh opened a newspaper. “When you’re done looking, it’ll be lunch. We’ll go get something from my Mum in the house.”
“Okay.” Cheese wiped his nose again. “You going to fight them with me?”
Big Sugar ruffled Cheese’s poofy hair. “I got your back, sugarcube.”
Cheese snort-laughed so hard he blew a snot bubble.
Pinkie Pie all but kicked in the door to the farmhouse. Sugar Belle jumped, but Big Macintosh didn’t even blink. Just waved a silent greeting while Sugar Belle clutched her chest.
“Is Little Cheese here? Rose’s daughter said she wasn’t in school, and I can’t find him-”
It was at this point that she saw Cheese’s head poking over the Apple family dinner table. Right where he dove for cover. Pinkie dove for him and swept him up in a big squeezing hug, peppering him with kisses. Boneless 5 squeaked as he was caught up in it too.
“Don’t you ever scare me like that again.”
“I was watching him.” Big Sugar said, sitting next where Cheese had been. “He’s been safe.”
The gears in Big Macintosh’s brain whirred into motion. “Now, just hang on a moment. Weren’t you supposed to be in school?”
Big Sugar looked his dad square in the eye. “I cut grammar to make sure Cheese didn’t borrow the Princess’s old hot air balloon.”
Big Macintosh looked over at L’il Cheese and thought about it. “As long as it was just grammar, s’pose you did the right thing.” He nodded to Pinkie, then went back to his newspaper.
Pinkie didn’t stop squeezing Cheese to ask questions. “What would you need a hot air balloon for?”
He managed to wriggle in his mum’s grip enough to answer anyway. “I was looking for vikings.”
Pinkie understood immediately. “You couldn’t find your box.”
“Yeah!”
“Aw. Sweetheart, I was cleaning it.” Her nose crinkled up. “You put a tooth in it.”
“My first tooth.” Cheese corrected, because that was the important bit. “Wait, you had it?”
Sugar stared at Cheese. “You didn’t ask your Mum?”
Cheese blushed furiously. “She was sleeping in! I didn’t want to wake her up!”
Pinkie squeezed him that much harder. “I put your tooth in a plastic thingy, so it wouldn’t rot.”
“Wait, teeth rot when they fall out?” Cheese’s face scrunched up tight. “Ew.”
“Yeah!” Pinkie tapped him on the head, “Ew! is right. I already put your box back under your bed.” Pinkie looked back up across the dining table to Big Macintosh. “Thanks again, by the way. He really does love what you did with it.”
Big Macintosh smiled, not taking his eyes off his paper. “Eeyup.”
“Come on sweetie. Let’s get you home, and we’ll bake a lovely cheesecake for the Apples to thank them for being so nice today.”
Sugar Belle leaned against the kitchen doorframe. “You really don’t have to do that. He was no trouble at all.”
“It’s not trouble at all for me to give you a proper thank you either.” Pinkie insisted. “Come on. Let’s get you home. There’s no vikings for you to fight today.”
“Today?” Cheese asked hopefully.
Pinkie gave him a very serious look. It wasn’t even a pretend serious look, either. “Your father and I are very serious about those swordfighting lessons, young man.”
Cheese tried to give a fierce nod, but it came out way more timid than he’d have liked. “Yes, mum.”
“Come on, then.” Pinkie broke the hug, and gave one last grateful look to the Apples as she made her way for the door, far slower than how she’d come in. “Thank you, again.”
Big Sugar ran out to the front porch to wave them off, Sugar Belle standing just behind him, watching them go as her heart rate returned to its resting level at last.
Pinkie leaned down and whispered to Cheese, even though they were far enough away from the house that nobody could have heard her anyway. “I wouldn’t have worried if I knew you were with your friends.”
Cheese would always remember that.
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What a delightful installment this was.
I really love the character dynamics between Cheese and Sugar, and also with the various other ponies as well. This just put a smile on my face. 
While they stuck to coastlines, Vikings did travel inland far enough to reach Whinnysota. (Allegations that the Kensington Runestone was a hoax are damned lies by heathen Cheeseheads)
Wow, who knew there was some semblance of logic to the Pies' craziness?
I'd half-hoped Rockhoof had come for a visit only to be smacked in the face by a ukelele. But this works just as well.
And I do love how Pinkie and Cheese are raising Little Cheese to be an adventurer. Of course they're going to prepare him for whatever life throws at him. Shenanigans are in his blood, and some of them lead to less than fun circumstances. But that's for later in life.
Looking forward to more; this story continues to be fantastic.
9952377
It's a long road to becoming a bard. At least before everything got dumbed down after 3rd ed.
I love the relationship between Big Sugar and Little Cheese. They manage to walk the line of acting like kids without being obnoxious.
9952374
[A/N] - Replying to a comment from an earlier chapter put this comment on the latest one. This is referring to what happened with Cheese Sandwich in the background of The Aunt
Quietly, this is based on a bit of my own childhood. My Dad used to work in the city, and Mum would drive us to the train station at night to pick him up. And then one night we just didn't do that. But he was also on a ton of business trips, so that wasn't unusual.
Didn't realize anything was wrong until the next morning the neighbours looked after us for a while.
Guy on the train had cracked my Dad's skull. Brass knuckles punch. I don't know the whole story there, and I doubt I ever will, but my Dad's always been a bit arrogant and overconfident, and I think he just stood his ground at a moment he really shouldn't have. He was in the hospital for a little while.
That's the kind of thing I think about with Cheese Sandwich and Pinkie. They're adventurers, they go where people are miserable to fix things, and Sandwich doesn't strike me as the kind of person who hides, retreats from something. And that's the kind of thing that L'il Cheese can't really comprehend right now, in a real way, even if we can see it peaking around the edges.
I don't know what happened that night. I just know that it was enough to scare Pinkie, Sandwich was alright this time, and L'il Cheese probably won't hear about what happened for another decade, if at all. To him, his Mum was just exhausted, and his Dad was always going to be okay. Because everyone he loves is invincible. He was never worried about his Dad, just worried that his Mum was.
That's not really in the text itself. I don't really plan on explaining that one at the moment - though I might want to come back to it, one day, if I get curious enough to answer it for my own sake. But I think one of the most interesting things about childhood stories is being able to understand things as an adult audience that our protagonist can't yet.
9952253
It's a wonderful case of Left Brain vs. Right Brain with these two.
Superb work on this latest chapter. GREATLY enjoyed seeing the way an overly-imaginative, hyperactive child might see the world. And, yeah, I really liked Big Sugar trying to keep Little Cheese from getting himself hurt AND the detail that Pinkie and Cheese ARE teaching him some things that could be useful if he were to end up in a REAL adventure someday.
All in all, the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up are all well done in all the right places.
So Cheerilee's still teaching school in Ponyville and Rose has a daughter? Wonder what else is new (or not new) around Ponyville?
9952377
Many a parent can prepare their children for when life gives you lemons.
But only a few special ones can prepare you for when lofe throws napkins at you.
This is Pinkie and Cheese, and they know secrets the rest of us don't.
9952390
9952613
Yes, I didn't want to link to that directly, considering the guy's... issues. Although considering the brouhaha summer of last year, he was one of the least dysfunctional guys. I'm still in disbelief over what they more recently said about Justin Carmical.
Let's hope Lil' Cheese never runs into any actual Vikings. Some of them aren't very nice to equines:
(I'm so sorry, couldn't resist)
9952628
I need you to understand how absolutely bizarre that sounds if you have no context for this or who these people are
9952637
*Carson audience*
How bizarre is it?
9952628
A person's body of work is not tainted by personality issues. Unfortunately, genius and madness are often bedfellows.
9952637
Brief overview: Spoony is a very funny former member of Channel Awesome who for a few years now has suffered mental and physical breakdowns making it all but impossible to continue making videos despite having a loyal fanbase who encourage him to try. He mostly streams now, and is still very entertaining.
Justin Carmichal aka jewwario was apparently guilty of #metoo type behavior, so we'll just leave that there.
9952318
And when they got there, they built the biggest ball of twine underneath a giant pagoda.
Mrs. Cheerilee? I need to know who she married.
Ok, just want to get this out in the open. I read Aragon's recent blog about Bronycon, including how close he is with MrNumbers. Then this story updated, and I re-read a few older chapters because this story is so great.
This cannot be a coincidence, this is a very deliberate attempt to make L'il Cheese Aragon as a pony right? The clever wordplay, the keen insights into other people, the relentless and infectious optimism and positivity, the unique mix of wisdom and immaturity...
Cheese and Pinkie are training their son in swordplay because that's part of the training he needs to become a judge someday, right?
Little Chesse was shown in the actual show for less than a minute and had no dialogue. Big Sugar's appearance was so brief, it could be considered a lone cameo.
You took this, and created personalities for both that are so realistic and almost universally adored by the fanbase that it'll practically be considered canon from now on.
Congratulations! You created a character...who created a world...that influenced not just the characters that live in his world...but also influenced our world and made it just a little bit more like his. It is the mark of an optimist.
9954295
From MrNumbers' Discord server, edited for readability:
TL;DR: I feel flattered! But Lil' Cheese is absolutely MrNumbers' own character, and it's more an exploration of a good kid in a good world than anything, I feel. I'll probably end up writing a guest chapter for this story sooner than later, though, cause the writing of this story is very organic, MrNumbers is into that idea, and might as well add some actual Aragón to the story while we're at it.
Re: the chapter, I haven't been commenting on this because I usually just talk to MrNumbers about it in private, but this chapter -- which I know you had doubts about, Numbers -- does the amazing job of following up Rarity's chapter, which is an absolute goddamn knockout if I've ever seen one, and then sticking the landing.
Props to the characters following Lil' Cheese's train of logic immediately ("Yeah, I don't think it's ninjas either, doesn't feel right"), that's a favorite gag of mine, was happy to see it here. Big Sugar rising up to be quite the genuinely cool character, too! Would love it if he became a bit of a usual in this. Lil' Cheese's interactions with adults are better when he's by himself, but when they're together, the two kids bounce off each other wonderfully. Props to that, man, this story is going strong as hell.
That was a really nice chapter, with great use of child logic.
9952421
I forgot about the detail of Cheese Sandwich being mysteriously absent last chapter and Pinkie being upset. Interesting explanation.
9954829 Ah, ok, sounds like I leapt to some assumptions. I will continue to monitor this wonderful story and see if Li'l Cheese turns into a Goblin Sex God. I guess that means Li'l Cheese is not learning swordsmanship to become a judge, but instead something completely unrelated to Aragon, like bull-fighting or something.
Now I am caught up, and dammit Numbers, you've done it again. This is amazing.