Honesty
I woke up early again. As annoying as it was to have a bedtime, it seemed to leave me feeling more refreshed in the morning. A shocking development, I know. I was still apprehensive about getting out of bed, but this time I had a clear objective; my books. I could reach my book bags from the bed, but to switch on the lights I’d have to get out of bed and walk across the room. I had to tell myself that Applejack wasn’t a light sleeper, and, hopefully, my being an early riser wouldn’t make her think anything was wrong.
This would be so much easier if I had a reading light next to my bed. I was worried that if I asked for one then Applejack would think I was staying up all night reading, and then she might take my books.
Maybe I could ask for one as a nightlight - so I didn’t have to walk across the room in the dark?
No, no, Applejack could tell when I was lying. I wasn’t afraid of the dark.
The hardwood floor was cold on the bottoms of my hooves - why did they have to have a layer of skin on the bottom? My broken foreleg ached a little but it was getting better. I hesitated before pressing the lightswitch.
Please don’t wake anyone up.
Click.
The room was filled with an unmistakably incandescent glow - ponies didn’t have LED lights yet, it seemed. It was nostalgic.
Resisting the urge to run quickly back to the warmth of my bed, I walked slowly to keep noise to a minimum.
Overnight, the connection I’d been distracted from had crystalised. Magical Exhaustion. That was what must have happened to me at school - but if that was the case, why didn’t Applejack take me to the hospital? Was this a unicorn thing that Applejack didn’t know about so she wasn’t taking it seriously? That would be an awkward conversation. And how did I manage to get into a state of Magical Exhaustion without even trying to cast magic?
I checked the index of the magic textbook, but the only reference to magical exhaustion was in the section I’d already read. Nopony had told me much about the condition I had, I guess they didn’t want to scare me - that they felt the need to do that worried me greatly.
Was I going to end up like Bruce Banner? Forced to keep my emotions under control at all times to avoid ‘blowing up’? I... wasn’t very good at that, as much as I’d like to be.
I looked up Magical Exhaustion in the medical dictionary, but there was only a short definition.
Magic Exhaustion:
Magic Exhaustion is a condition where a pony’s mana pool is drained below the level necessary for their body to maintain vital functions. Magical Exhaustion is often confused with Magical Fatigue but the terms are not interchangeable. [Magical Fatigue see page 211]
There were many pages of medical definitions beginning with ‘Magical’, but even so ‘Magical Fatigue’ was on the very next page.
Magical Fatigue:
Magical Fatigue describes the symptoms associated with excessive magic use. Symptoms include headache, nausea, drowsiness and lethargy. Magical Fatigue is often confused with Magical Exhaustion, but the terms are not interchangeable. [Magical Exhaustion see page 209]
Maybe I didn’t have Magical Exhaustion then? I should have asked for a diagnostic and treatment manual. This would be so much easier with the internet. What was the other thing I heard them say? Oh yeah, magic surge.
Magic Surge:
Magic surge describes the involuntary outbursts of unstructured magic observed in unicorn foals. Magic surges are a normal and temporary part of a foal’s development and are very rare in foals beyond 18 months.
Well, that explained why everypony was so surprised, all my classmates probably saw me as even more of a baby now.
Next I pulled out the first aid manual. It was a spiral bound booklet rather than a full book, which made sense; a first aid manual would be something you updated frequently.
It was laid out in a familiar way too. The first page described an acronym which would be expanded upon in subsequent pages. It was a different acronym, but it shouldn’t be too hard to remember.
That reminded me that I still had to review my notes from last night to check my recall.
I hadn’t even thought about it when I packed the books away, but I’d put the sheets of paper inside one of the books. When I flipped the cover open, the pages were still there. So it wasn’t just books that were affected by the bag’s magic, but things placed inside the books too. Although so far I had only tried things made of paper.
Now that the idea was in my head I couldn’t focus on revising my anatomy notes. There was magic to be investigated.
After a few minutes I had a fairly good idea of what would work. A pencil? Yes. A hairbrush? Yes, even though the book wasn’t closed all the way. My pillow? No, presumably because it extended beyond the edges of the book.
I turned back to my notes, and despite my sloppy writing and cryptic notation style I found that I still remembered most of it. I had to refer back to the book for a few things, mostly figures or names of things.
“Mornin’ Sweetpea.”
I jumped slightly and my movement on the mattress was enough to dislodge Graymane’s Anatomy from where it was propped in front of me and, of course, it fell straight on my head.
“I’m okay.” I grumbled from underneath the book.
“Ya weren’t up all night reading were ya?”
“No.”
“It’s all right darlin’ Ah’m not tryin’ ta catch you out. Ah’m just glad to know there’s something that makes ya happy.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Fer what?”
“For making you worry about me.”
“Don’t say that darlin’, it’s mah job ta worry about you. Ain’t no sense in two ponies tryin’ ta do a one pony job.”
I pouted.
“That doesn’t even make sense. I’m not worried about me, I’m worried about you worrying about me.”
“Don’t go usin’ yer fancy book learnin’ ta muddy tha’ issue. Ah’ll do the worrying and y’all’ll do the... whatever it is that fillies are supposed ta do.”
“Have you forgotten how to be a filly?” I asked playfully.
“Ah’m not that old!” Said Applejack. “Ah just... Ah had a lot of responsibilities when Ah was yer age.”
Her tone in the last part of the sentence put a lump in my throat. Her parents. Of course she wouldn’t have had a normal childhood. Damnit. Why did I have to say that?
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked gently.
“What?”
“It must have been difficult,” I explained, “Having so much responsibility forced on you at a young age.”
“It weren’t that bad,” said Applejack, “Us Apple’s stick together. After mah folk’s passed it was hard fer a while, but we managed.”
“Do you regret not being able to do all the things other fillies your age were doing?”
“It weren’t as bleak as all that,” Said Applejack, “Working on the farm is what Ah was meant ta do after all.”
She looked back fondly to the mark of three apples on her flank.
“Oh, ok.” I said, cutiemark magic was something I wasn’t really equipt to discuss.
Applejack saw the serious look on my face.
“Green, do you want ta talk?” Asked Applejack. “About... before ya came here.”
“I-” It hurt to swallow, “No.”
I’m tricking everyone. I don’t deserve this.
“I’m sorry.” I said.
“Fer what?”
“For-” I hesitated, “For not being honest.”
Applejack tilted her head.
“‘Bout what?”
“I don’t know.”
Applejack remained silent and waited for me to continue. I broke eye contact and just tried to keep talking.
“I told everypony I don’t remember what happened, but I do. Or at least I think I do.”
I tried not to focus on what I was saying, what I was risking by telling her this. I felt cold and numb, and like I needed to go to the bathroom.
“I’m afraid that if I tell ponies they’ll think that I’m crazy. And I’m even more afraid that I might actually be crazy.”
Applejack took a step towards me.
“Ah reckon if ya really were crazy ya wouldn’t be worried about it.”
“That's not how that works.”
“Ya seem pretty sure about that.”
I flinched.
“Darlin’ it’s not goin’ ta get any better if ya don’t tell anypony.”
“Before I came here, in my past life, I don’t know exactly how it works,” I said, “Before all that, I was a nurse.”
Shut up, shut up, shut up! You’re going to ruin everything! You can’t take this back.
“At yer age?”
“I was older, well I guess not chronologically older, but I was considered an adult in that society.”
“At the hospital, you said yer parents weren’t ponies. Yer really sure about this aren’t ya.”
There it was; the doubt. She didn't believe me, and I already knew Applejack couldn’t keep a secret. Now everypony would know I was nuts.
I’d gone too far to pull back now. I took a breath.
“What if none of this is real?” I questioned. “If I pull on this thread, everything could unravel. I’ve lost everything, can’t I just pretend this is real?”
“Pretend what’s real?”
“You, Applebloom, Equestria, magic. I want to pretend that I deserve everything you’ve done for me. I want to keep pretending that I really am that lost little filly you found in the Everfree, but... It hurts.”
“Yer not a filly?”
“I am a filly now.” I said. “I can’t deny that but - ugh. I don’t know.”
“So ya weren’t lost?”
“I mean, yeah, I was lost.”
“Yer a lost little filly that needed help. Ya do deserve help, Green, and no secret ya were hidin’ could change that. Don’t ya feel better now that ya’ve let it out?”
“No, I don’t.” I said. “I’ve been lying to everypony to get them to help me. I let everypony think something really terrible had happened to me, but it hasn’t.”
“So how did ya end up lost in the Everfree with a broken leg?”
“I don’t know.”
I expected her to pounce on the logical inconsistency but, of course, she could tell that I was telling the truth.
“Ta me that sounds like something real terrible.”
“You all think someone was trying to rape me.”
My eyes were screwed shut as I cringed at what I’d just said. I didn’t hear what Applejack said next. I heard the noises, but my brain wasn’t processing them into words. I felt her climb up onto the bed next to me and start to brush my mane with her hoof.
“Stop!”
Applejack’s hoof recoiled.
“You’re supposed to hate me! I lied about everything, I’m not a r- a victim, I’m not a real filly,” I sobbed, “I don’t even like apples!”
“Wha’da’ya mean ya don’ like apples?”
I facehoofed. Of course Applejack would pick out that one.
“Green!”
“I’m sorry.”
“Fer what?”
“For...” I hesitated a moment, “For hitting myself?”
“Yer apologisin’ ta me,” Applejack said slowly, “Fer hurtin’ yerself.”
“I don’t want you to worry about me. I don’t want you to feel like you have to care about me. It doesn’t end well.”
“Well then Ah guess you’ll just have ta stop being so adorable.”
That was so off script it threw me for a loop. She was not supposed to say that.
“I’m being serious.”
“A mite too serious ah reckon.” She tousled my mane. “Y’all need ta relax ‘fore you give yerself an ulcer.”
She definitely wasn’t supposed to tell me to relax. You do not tell someone who’s panicking to just relax!
As ill advised as that theoretically was, taking a step back to mentally critique Applejack’s bedside manner gave me enough emotional distance to get my emotions back under control.
“So, uh, what’s for breakfast?”
Applejack sighed.
“Why don’t ya like apples?”
“I dunno, I just don’t.” I said. “Never have.”
New Art by Crimson Wolf in chapter 2
If you want to see more art in this story you can donate to my Ko-Fi. All funds raised will be used to pay for art commissions.
Let me know in the comments if you have a particular scene you want to be illustrated, or an artist that you recommend. If you ARE an artist and you're reading this, even better! Comment below or DM me a link to your commissions sheet.
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AppleJack: Heretic!!! Purge the Heresy!
Oof. Finally getting the secret off your chest and getting the complete opposite reaction you're expecting really does a number on ya.
Awesome artwork! I'll toss some bits your way for more— I have a bunch for my stories, too. If you head to my profile and scroll down the margin there's a box with everyone I've gotten art from if you want to peruse their portfolios.
10875754
Back to the woods you go
10875754
You used those words in the wrong order. Heresy is the behavior of a heretic, and a heretic is one who engages in heresy.
So, it would be "Heresy! Purge the heretic!"
Oh yeah, also heretic and heresy aren't proper nouns.
This has been today's language lesson. All complaints can be handwritten and deposited in the marked box with the completely unsuspicious tube almost as wide as the box itself coming out the bottom and going through the back wall.
10875766
Thanks!
I get that at this point it's normal for Green to be constantly apologizing, but at this point, it's getting a bit annoying. Damnit, now I'm tempted to do an entire reread to get a sorry counter.
10875783
Sorry.
10875780
Sure thing!
10875770
The complaint box isn't working. Butt, in the case of purging the heresy, a person can also think of it like this. "Heretic!" which is a callout out someone who is a heretic, and purge the heresy, as in purging their heretical behavior. So if you think of it like that, it would be less purging the heretic to more... uhh, redeem the heretic by purging the heresy or something like that.
10875789
Hate the Heresy, not the Heretic.
10875770
I think it works both ways, actually.
You can point at a person and name them a heretic just as well as you can point at an action and name it heresy. Regarding cleasing, if we allow heresy to be a quality or condition that one can have, then it seems grammatically correct to "purge the heresy from the heretic", which can be shortened to either way without losing meaning. For comparison, consider "purge the sickness" and "purge the patient".
Well that cat is out of the bag. Now at least Applejack has a better starting point to help Green. Now she knows that Green is dealing with something different and not probably what she originally thought. I hope she compares notes with Luna and that Green tells her about her previous conversation with Luna so they can get Redheart on board with a better treatment plan.
Haha that's rough, telling an apple farmer that you don't like apples.
Heh. Nothing puts someone off their game like the rest of the world not following the expected script. Sorry, Green, turns out you weren't half an inch away from everypony hating your guts. You'll just have to deal with all of this unforeseen unconditional love and sympathy. I know, it's horrible.
10875803
Do you really think that she believed her? She knows that GREEN believes herself.
And that might mean that Green is even more troubled a filly than she thought before!
I find this fic to be unreasonably good. Like, I've seen this premise done quite a few times, often directly inspired by this fic. Adult Human is reincarnated as child, adult ponies misinterpret situation, hijinks ensue. But the way it's written, this fic in particular makes me hang on to every word. The worldbuilding is just excellent, and Green is such a good character. Literally couldn't tell she was a self-insert until I read the tag. I only wish it was updated more often! Whenever you do update, it's always a treat!
so the question is what is applejack gonna do with this information
you don't like apple's !?!
Mental confusion and memorys in chaos. I doubt she knows the truth, second guessing everything by this point.
Yeah, being a nurse in your past life ain't important, but it makes sense that ya don't want to drive them doctors away by eating apples... 😂
10875829
But the information provided does show that something is different with Green. She was acting like she knew the medical stuff. If Applejack does bring forward this information during a meeting and Luna confirms that she thinks something similar then anyone reasonable would go with this new information until something makes it null and void.
An extremely sudden segway from drama to breakfast so early in the morning. Not sure how Applejack will take all this information, for it seems that she does believe her or at least haven't easily revealed any outright disbelief in Green.
All she has to go off of is that Green claims to formerly be another species, in which she's both an adult and a nurse. Green also shows understanding of what rape is, and it's interesting to see how such long lived ponies such as Applebloom continue to be fully childish with or without this knowledge considering that she's much older than Green. Perhaps it's a cultural difference or Applebloom is mentally mature as an adult human, but chooses to still act like a normal school filly since that's the norm for her age.
Green hasn't admitted her real age just of yet, so Applejack would be more inclined to believe she's mentally an adult, but instead she still treats Green as a child purely due to her physical and vulnerable appearance. Perhaps Green's anxiety embedded the idea that she may not be as mentally mature as she likes to believe, probably due to the sudden chemical alterations her brain is slowly adjusting to.
Can't say more about this cept for the fact that Applejack is handling Green surprisingly well. She did have to raise her own little sister after all. Although it seems that everypony else is under the impression that she's a rape victim and might try to convince Green's claims otherwise. The only exception would be Luna and potentially Twilight. I can definitely see Applejack coming to Twilight for guidance, because based on what Green has said, she might be a little out of depth taking care of a foreign species turned filly.
10875971
True, true... I forgot the thing with Luna and Twilight actually! If Applejack just makes the slightest mention of something like that near the two of them, it should make things far less awkward in the future.
Or more awkward, knowing poor Green's luck!
10875813
I was having a hard time putting my thoughts on this chapter into words, but then I scrolled thru the comments, and you nailed what I wanted to say lol. So thanks
I half imagine that Bloom was listening in and did a fainting goat impression at the apples bit.
Awww, see green? They haven't put you in the loony bin yet!
(Well, Green's outed part of their secret to one pony! And they're not dead! ... That's what we call 'progress'. Seriously though... get Green more books, more time with Winona, and perhaps some other fluffy cute animals. Green really needs something or someone to help with these episodes. And pets are supposed to love unconditionally, so having something fluffy to cuddle would probably help Green handle it when ponies are to 'nice' in response to their deep dark secrets, by cuddling something that's supposed to be nice anyways.)
10876463
I can't tell if that was supposed to be reassuring or condescending.
10876504
Why not both?
Green continues to be adorable! Fun chapter and at least she admitted the truth to AJ.
10875785
Why is this my life.
Holy fucking shit this is just enthralling,
Keep up the great work little green pony
10875803
10875971
Ah. You are so refreshingly naive.
This entire story is based in the fact that communication is either happening flawed to the point of doing more harm than good or not happening at all or happening between the wrong ponies. Ponies just talking with each other and coming to the right conclusion has little precedent here, so what makes you think we are already on the way to resolving the issue that quickly?
10876898
So you have forgotten that Luna, Applejack, and Redheart where meeting on occasion to discuss Green’s health? All Applejack has to say in a meeting is ““Just to inform all of you, Green claims that she was not originally a pony but something else. She also claims she was considered an adult by her original forms species. Plus she also claims the she she has originally a he.”
At this point Luna can either confirm that she was told this by Green earlier or agree that this matches what she has observed in Green’s dreams. With two reputable parties giving this information they will move to a more she what Green knows that can be proven ie medical knowledge. They all want what is best for Green with two different ponies saying they have similar experiences in dealing with Green it leads to having a more complete picture. They want to help her and continuing down disbelief or not passing along the information will hurt Green in the long run and further give Green reasons not to trust.
10876517
Eh, fair enough.
I love that after all that revelation, the apple thing is the thing that bothers her lol
10876504
Yes
I wonder if she'll ever talk about the internet, and how awesome it is/was. As well as compute, nukes, supersonic aircraft and rocketry, and other cool technology.
10876125
Green's age hasn't actually changed though. An Equestrian year is 1000 days, a year on Earth is 365 days on average. Green has lived the exact same amount of days on both worlds, it's just that they count the years differently. 30 years on Earth is 10950 days, which is almost 11 years on Equestria. Green is 11 years old, that's not a lie, that's her real actual age in Equestrian years.
Though, to be clear, I'm using 30 years as an example because the math is easy to do. I don't remember how old she was on Earth before she was transported to Equestria. Though my point still stands.
10877278
I would imagine the opposite would also work for the Equestria Girls canon. Obviously twilight is an adult in normal Equestria who lived far longer than any human on Earth. However when transported to Equestria Girls she's suddenly a hormonal teenager. One could say the Mirror Portal is programmed to covert the traveler to a more appropriate age and form, however if Twilight's age hasn't changed then she would most likely be an extremely old woman. So there's that plot hole.
10877294
There is no plot hole. As far as we know the mirror world doesn't exist here. And even if it does, maybe their years are also 1000 days long. We have no way of knowing whether it exists until the author tells us.
Also, like I said, Green has been alive for the exact same amount of time in both worlds. She hasn't actually de-aged when she got turned into a pony, she was just turned into a pony of the exact same age she was as a human. It just so happens that ponies, apparently, live WAY longer than any human will.
10877310
Luna actually did mention the mirror in her "That we have but sumbered here" but only in her thoughts.
There is no plot hole because Green isn't from the EqG universe, she's from a universe much like own own.
At the very least, Applejack believes that Green believes what they are saying about a previous life. As for whether she believes Green is right about that is something we'll have to find out.
10877121
Ohh ho ho ho, don't you even start that with me, mister, or you're looking at a one-way ticket to a timeout in the corner.
10875785
Yeah same
Is he really going to keep pussyfooting about this forever?
My favorite part of this was the way they calmed down. Just, inside her head: "You suck at this, that's not what you do."
10877950
Ye
such a grate chapter. and dame that is a amazing art work.
I facepalmed several timer here, ouch