Oh to be Old Again
The strangest part about the dreams I had with Luna were that they did not fade. I was familiar with the sensation of recalling a dream when I woke, but unless I put conscious effort into anchoring the details of the dream into my mind it would quickly dissipate.
I was fully awake. Not the well rested type of awake but the special brand of insomnia that came from waking in an unfamiliar place. I couldn’t see a clock, but it was still dark outside.
I felt nothing, and it took me a moment to realise what was missing; there was no itch. My skin hadn't dried out and cracked overnight.
When I was growing up I didn’t want to get out of bed too early, to avoid my mother worrying. At one point she found out that I was waking up really early because I was anxious about being bullied at school, so after that I had to pretend to be asleep until it was a reasonable time to get up, lest she suspect (correctly) that I was still being bullied at school.
I held my breath and focused on listening to sounds in the house. The Apple’s were farm ponies so they would be awake early to do farm work, right? Sure enough, I could hear hoofsteps and the faint clanging of pots and pans from downstairs. Maybe they were having an early breakfast and decided not to wake me?
I wriggled out the side of the bed to avoid having to remake it. Making a bed with my clumsy gripping ability would be a huge pain.
Walking down the stairs was a bit daunting; they were just tall enough that I couldn’t put one hoof on each step comfortably. Going up was fine. Going down, my legs bent the wrong way. My broken fetlock was still a bit tender so I wanted to avoid jarring it, otherwise I could have just jumped down each step. I grit my teeth in frustration. I wasn’t about to ask somepony to carry me downstairs so I just had to do this.
Drop my forelegs to the next step (ow!), followed by hind legs. Repeat. By the time I got to the bottom I was sweating and my leg was aching and I hated this stupid weak body! I took a minute to control my breathing; I didn’t want anyone to see me out of breath from such a short walk.
I didn’t have a sense for the layout of the house yet, having only seen it briefly at my surprise party last night, but I could follow the sounds of somepony in the kitchen.
“My,” Granny Smith addressed me without turning around, “Ain’t you an early riser?”
Hair bristled on the back of my neck; my stomach dropped.
Breathe. Think. You haven’t been ‘caught’.
She must have heard my hoofsteps and... oh right, the window in front of her was reflective.
Breathe. Be calm. Don’t let her know you were panicking.
“Good morning.” I said.
“Good morning deary.” she replied, “Breakfast isn’t quite ready yet, but you can help by setting the table.”
“I, uh, don’t think that’s a good idea.”
I looked down at my hooves and cringed at the thought of trying to carry around fragile plates while walking with three legs.
“Why’s that?”
“I’m not good at holding things with my hooves,” I explained, “So I might drop them.”
“Alright then, up you come.”
I’m not sure how she managed to speak with the scruff of my neck clasped in her teeth, but she did. She lifted me onto the counter and I was put out for a moment at the fact I was standing on a surface for preparing food. I suppose that my rear hooves weren’t any dirtier than my front hooves but it still felt wrong.
Granny gave me a mixing bowl and a spoon which I managed to grasp with my hooves. It was more the letting go that I had trouble with.
When I was done mixing the pancake batter she put me back on the floor. The sun was just peaking over the horizon and the younger members of the Apple family still had yet to make an appearance.
“Do you always wake up this early?” I asked.
“Not much choice when you get to my age,” She replied, “This creaky old hip decides when it’s time to get up. Take my advice deary, don’t get old.”
“I don’t much like the alternative.” I quipped.
There was an uncomfortable silence.
“Because I don’t want to die?” I added.
Stupid! Now she’s going to ask what you mean and then it won’t be funny, it will just be morbid and she’ll be worried about me... ugh. Quick, change the subject!
“Arthritis is a real bitch, huh.”
“Language!” Granny Smith admonished.
“Sorry!” I squeaked.
I squeezed my eyes shut.
Stupid squeaky voice.
“Open your mouth.”
“Wha-”
Before I knew what was going on I felt something near my mouth and instinctively batted it away, raising my hooves to protect my face.
My heart pounded - Relax, breathe.
In.
Out.
“Don’t fuss now,” she ordered, “We need to wash those dirty words out of your mouth.”
Soap. Well that explained a lot.
“There’s no need for that,” I said, “It won’t happen again I promise.”
“Open.” She repeated.
Provided it wasn’t oldschool lye soap it should be safe, if unpleasant, to get some in my mouth. If this was the way things were done around here then it wasn’t worth making a scene over.
I sighed and opened my mouth.
The soap was apple scented, of course, but I could hardly taste that with the overwhelming bitter suds that were forming. I wanted to spit and scrape my tongue but I wasn’t about to spit on the floor so I focused on breathing through my nose and not swallowing. I was quite proud that I managed not to make a face.
Applejack came down the stairs a moment later and I saw Granny Smith quickly place the soap back next to the sink.
My eyes widened in realisation. Granny didn’t want AJ to know.
“Mornin’ Green,” Applejack greeted, “You’re up early. Did you sleep alright?”
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak with a mouthful of soap.
Applejack gave me a suspicious look and I almost swallowed nervously.
I’d have to risk saying something - I couldn’t just stand here.
“May I be excused?”
I almost got away with it but, at the last moment, soap touched the back of my throat and I hiccuped. A soap bubble came out.
Applejack’s heart sank as she took in the situation.
“It’s alright Green,” She said, “You don’t have to ask, just go.”
Applejack waited until she heard the filly shut the bathroom door before she turned to address her grandmother.
“What were you thinking?” AJ asked. “She’s having a hard enough time trustin’ ponies as it is.”
Applejack could hear Green spitting and gagging while she ran the water.
“Fillies need to be raised right,” Granny insisted, “Ah can’t have her using that kind of language around Apple Bloom.”
“There are other ways to do that.” Applejack stomped. “Ways that don’t involve forcing soap in her mouth.”
“It worked for you didn’t it?”
“This is different.” Applejack said, “Look, please just please leave her discipline up to me.”
“Since when are you the expert on raising foals?”
That was a shot to Applejack’s confidence, but she ploughed on.
“She’s a foster child.” AJ explained, “There are rules and one of the most important is no physical punishments.”
The two adults stopped talking as Green walked back into the kitchen.
“Don’t worry about it,” said Green, “We’ll just pretend this never happened.”
“Sweetpea, look,” AJ sat the filly down, “Ah know yer trying to protect us, but you have to promise me that you’re going to be honest. If somepony hurts you, or does something that makes you feel uncomfortable -”
“It’s not like that okay?” The filly interrupted. “I let her put the soap in my mouth, it’s not like she forced me.”
Applejack realised she may be walking on very shaky ground.
“Green,” AJ hesitated, “If somepony- Ah mean, just because you let somepony do something- it doesn’t mean you were okay with it.”
The filly was calming herself down with breathing exercises again.
“It was just soap.” Said Green, “It’s not like I’m going to die.”
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Hey, wait a second...
Never seen Granny written to be such a hate-able character before.
'Hey, can you leave raising the foal to me, the appointed guardian?'
'No.'
Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes
Hey! I know that story! Oh to be Old Again! This won't end up like that, will it? Cause I'll be sad if it does :c
This is the story I’m always most excited to see an update for. Keep up the good work!
10632875 10632887
I second both of these statements.
A short, but very good chapter.
oh joy, more fuel to their imagination on what kind of abuse she went through or something lol
Oof, Granny is stepping out of line, good for AJ to try nipping that in the bud. Also, from personal experience, no, soap in the mouth does not work to correct behaviour, symbolism aside. Signed: he who masticated an entire fresh bar to prove a point.
Cap, you seeing this?
You'll never take me and my fowl language alive
and agian they dont lissen and dont belive her.
sooner ore later green will snapp
Pffft so what? Anon here really is a weak-willed wuss he's typically portrayed as.
I never undestood the whole wash their mouth with soap thing - and with what is in soap usually - wouldn't that be a health hazard?
10632925
Are there actually people out there who'd wash their kits' mouths with soap?
10632875
Wasn't there something about eating soap in that one as well?
10632956
*Flies away*
"Fowl language"
10633002
Granny Smith probably made that soap herself, so it's likely all natural organic stuff made from apples.
10633002
Yes it is a practice that still exists to this day.
Granny needs some stern talking.
Forcing her action onto a already instable foal...
Granny Smith basicly raped her with soap
Better educate that crazy old pony i guess.
I think AJ needs to explain Granny Smith the circustances and how to not behave towards the foal.
If she get it? Good.
If not? Force the soap into her mouth!
Clean that brain of hers that she cant do wrong.
I don't think any one properly explained the sercumstances to granny
Another update and I can’t wait for more.
10633103
After what Green said I think AJs going to give Granny a stern talking to.
10632956
Those damn birds!
10633080
Oh boy, I can't decide whether this is serious or not, because putting soap in someone's mouth to "clean those dirty words out" is not rape.
I admit I was always surprised in my early years how few people appreciate kids making gallows humor. It’s like they never met a pessimist before.
Oh dear. The victim trying to defend the abuser isn't a good sign.
not really sure about my thought here. this was tryed on me one time, it came to a screeching halt when every bit of food in the house code get my hand on ended up with salt and i mean pounds of salt in it. i was 12 at the time.
i never let my father forget it. he was a dick.
10633130
First difinition i found via Google:
Any penetration of the vagina, anus, or mouth of another person, with or without the use of force, by a sex organ, other body part, or foreign object, without the consent of the victim.
Second definition i found:
Raped is a wide tract of actions ( normaly associated with a sexual context but not limited to it ) without regard for the impact on another.
Dude.
Dude.
10633199
To be fair, it's usually a bad sign when children have learned to expect that effort leads to failure, that bad things will happen to them/to good people for no reason, that death and [insert dark topics here] are imminently and concretely real, and have become resigned enough that all they can do is joke about it.
In Green's case, others are likely unamused by dry jokes about death because they see it as a symptom of having survived nightmarish abuse (and maybe a little bit just because most ponies are too good-hearted and innocent to appreciate the joke in general, though I'm not sure that's the case for the Equestria we're looking at here). It might even be true, though not how those ponies think.
I know some readers have suggested Granny Smith be told of Green's circumstances, but I don't think that's a good idea. She might get out a cane and whip Green until she stops protecting that child molester--it's for her own good. Applebloom's too, given the nature of the danger.
Guys chill out, while the soap in mouth thing doesn't really do much there is no way it would be considered rape. The situation is extremely far from being about anything sexual or power based. I would know I got the soap treatment myself on many occasions, it was always in a cause(foul mouth) effect(taste soap) scenario.
10633347
Situations can be viewed through many different lenses.
10633347
People like to jump to the worst of things, I had the same raising up in a southern family and other then a few sick stomachs from the soap it's not bad
10633376
Certainly but in the "normal" lense of it just being a punishment, that is all it is. While the lense of it being viewed as rape mean horrible consequences for the guardian of the child even when "rape" was never the intention.
10633418
Of course, that's why Granny feels she didn't do anything wrong.
10633421
If she had been more informed of the situation and still chose to do things like that she should be 100% removed from interacting with any abuse victim. However being uninformed anyone would treat a child staying with them as just that a "normal" child. I could also see the case being made for abused children to WANT to be treated normally after having been handled like fragile goods for long enough.
10633432
Granny has spent a large portion of her life raising two generations of children so she has a lot of experience. And maybe some bad habits.
I don't think making kids eat soap for cursing is abuse. It's minor compared to some of the other punishment parents used to inflict on their kids back then. I mean... I was spanked a lot when I was younger. Did wonders for my confidence, but at least I have a decent moral compass.
grannys a little confused, but she got the spirit
This story is swiftly becoming one my favorites on the site. Can't wait for more!
Speaking from experience I quickly grew to not respect ANYTHING my grandmother said once she tried to put soap in my mouth regardless of whether she may have been right or not. My mom specifically told me not to eat things which aren't food and explained why: it can make you sick. Soap is not food. You can see where this is going.
My grandmother never tried to explain why she had objections to...whatever it was I was doing back then. Kids are not stupid. Usually. They are capable of learning even if they are. Due to inexperience, however, they may not learn the lesson you intend if the lesson you are trying to teach isn't clearly explained with WORDS. Kids have no experience using logic and so they usually DON'T. This is the biggest reason why you need to explain. Clearly. Even the obvious things. Because they just don't know much of anything yet so you'll have to work out the logic for them until they learn how to do it themselves.
If you don't explain the Why of things as well as the What then they will probably either forget what you said or ignore you because "you're being mean for no reason". You aren't being mean for no reason but if they just don't get it then that's what it will look like to them and they usually won't tell you if they don't understand. They'll say they do because you're punishing them and they want the punishment to stop. They'll say whatever they think you want to hear whether they agree or not.
If they don't understand why they're being punished then all they'll learn is that you need to handled carefully or you'll do something they won't like. All that teaches them is that whatever they did is fine so long as you don't find out. It doesn't teach them that what they did is wrong in any way, just that they don't want to get caught. Also they'll resent you and will NOT forget you did this. Good luck with your teenager who thinks you're unreasonable and that they'd be better off figuring things out themselves than actually listening to you or respecting your wishes/opinions. Especially when your old methods of "Do as I say or it's the soap/belt/buckle/ruler/shouting at you until you cry/ect. for you!" stop being enforceable. You HAVE TO use your words with teenagers or they WILL rebel. Go into that with them already feeling it's them against you and that reasoning with you doesn't work? Good luck. Hope you enjoy struggle.
TLDR: Parenting is hard and "Do as I say or else" not only stops working eventually but gives ample motive for the person it's used against to rebel at every turn as soon as they feel they can. "Do as I say BECAUSE:" tends to have a more lasting and helpful effect as soon as they understand language enough to get it and are old enough to have functional long term memories. It can't hurt to teach your child the difference between right from wrong rather than just using force to get your way and not teaching them anything other than "don't cross me or you're gonna get it".
Granny if you can't defend your own methods of discipline against you're own granddaughter then don't use them
What works for one doesn't necessarily work for another
There's also the matter of the difference in how they view you, Applejack loves and respect you, probably has her whole life, which is why it worked with her since she doesn't want to disappoint you.
Green's case is completely different, to her you are a stranger and so she doesn't care if she disappoints you or not, the only reason she would care to listen to you is to avoid making things difficult for herself and others.
So while this kind of punishment might work to enforce the rules, the reason they would be followed is simply due to fear, which will make living together difficult.
That was probably the wrong thing to say
Love the chapter title. A nice callback to one of the best fics with that premise.
10633080
It's not rape there was nothing sexual about it.
If you had said abuse on the other hand I would have accepted it as a debatable point. (A point which I'd agree with you on no less.)
10632871
I agree. On all accounts, take my upvote.
10633532
That... that was quite a rant there, how long have you been holding that in? Not that I disagree, in fact I had those same thoughts back when I read Oh,to be old again.
Green's special talent is unintentional dark double entendre.
I would like to note that Green hasn't even been introduced to Granny Smith yet, nor taught the rules and expectations of being a member of the Apple household. For a first time offense of an unspoken rule with immediate apologies, regret shown after, and a promise to not repeat the offense, Granny still insisted on putting soap in her mouth. That's a hell of a first impression.
10633457
It's a traditional punishment. It's also a potential trigger for an abuse/sexual assault victim. (Open your mouth. Gag on it. Spit or swallow--I don't care. Don't tell anyone what we did.) Day Glow might not remove Applebloom for getting that kind of punishment given her long and stable placement, but she might remove Green if staying with the Apples appears to be bad for her well-being.
Goodness was my feelings stirred with this chapter.
I can't claim real first hand experience on parenthood but I have seen, first hand, that one way of parenting can be the absolute worst thing for another.
Fantastic chapter Anon3mous1 Greenhorne!
Though Granny wasn't properly informed, I now fear, (probably irrationally,) that she won't be able to properly understand the adjustment she may need to make to shake her... less helpful parenting habits.
Eh, I don't personally find anything wrong with soap as a punishment. That said, the fact that Granny tried to hide what she did from AJ shows that she knows what she did was wrong. If she hadn't tried to hide it then it could be just said that she was just disciplining as she saw best, but the way she went about it...
10633867
Well, that's how Green saw putting the soap away - she may have gotten the wrong idea. Afterall, she can't read Granny Smith's mind.
10632871
Honestly? She's actually acting like a lot of grandparents do...
Quite a lot of grandparents are VERY quick to try and take things into their own hands when they think their children aren't doing a ''good enough'' job of raising the grand-kids... And while yes there are times where it's a good thing, there's also quite a lot of times where the ''right way'' of raising a kid that they believe in just doesn't work...
Personal example: My grandmother once forced me to eat raw chicken because she thought I was just being ''picky'' with my food... She didn't realize the chicken was ACTUALLY RAW until my own father stepped in and actually tasted the chicken after a solid few minutes of her just telling me to stop acting up and just eat... And trust me when I say that raw chicken tastes fucking horrible...
Wow. You really don't want Granny Smith to have a good first impression, do you? Well it certainly worked.
Here is an idea for a power move, Green should have Eaten the soap
Whooooo progress!