Mirror Star
Joined 25th Aug, 2017 ·
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Anyone think windy whistles and Gentle Breeze are doing the same thing Bow and Posey did?? I think so-- wonder how Flittershy and Rainbow Dash react if they found out.
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There is room for a sequel pertaining to them if I feel like doing it later.
And that's how Zephyr Breeze was made...
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Not gonna lie, I almost ended it with that but I changed my mind.
Sorry to say I didn't enjoy this. The writing had a lot of grammatical errors and representative word choices that took me out of it, with a fair amount of descriptions feeling robotic. Not to mention there's pretty much no build up to the characters having sex. There are some points where you're missing quotation marks and you seem to shift back and forth between present and past tense. Also, you at one point wrote "duck" instead of "dick".
Lastly, and this is admittedly just a personal issue with my, but I think sticking his unprotected dick back in her pussy after being is her ass was pretty gross and likely to get them both infected by something nasty.