• Published 16th Oct 2019
  • 3,057 Views, 194 Comments

Rainbow Dash, Please Report to the Principal's Office - TheGuineaPig45

Rainbow Dash has been sent to the principal's office, yet nobody knows why. As theories emerge and gossip spreads through the halls, the CHS student body spirals into chaos searching for one thing: the truth.

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6: Preparation

To: Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Sunset Shimmer, Zephyr Breeze, +65 others
From: Trixie Lulamoon

The Great and Powerful Trixie has seen something she needs to share with her fellow peers! Last night, at exactly 8:46 P.M., during my regular nightly stroll, I spotted police cars outside of Rainbow Dash's house! Perhaps this scandal goes far deeper than we had thought! Has she been engaged in illegal activities? Maybe her and Celestia were in a relationship (like I had previously suggested, thank you very much), and got caught! Unfortunately, the police officers weren't willing to answer my inquiries, and escorted me off the premises before I could obtain any information. How rude of them! Don't they know we've got a school-wide conspiracy to unravel?

Anyway, if anyone has a suggestion on how to get out of the terrible assembly tomorrow, please DM me. Somehow, I doubt smoke bombs are the way to go this time around.

To: Rarity
From: Fluttershy

Um, I was going to talk to Zephyr Breeze, but, um, he's currently at Bon Bon's house, so I couldn't. I'm sorry. Um, I hope that's okay.

To: Lyra Heartstrings
From: Bon Bon

Ugh. I know you're sitting across from me, but we need to talk, and if Zephyr finds out what we're saying, this already-bad situation will turn into an absolute disaster. I'm sure we'd both prefer if we could finish this study session with our brains still in tact.

This is going horribly! Zephyr Breeze is totally unteachable! I don't think he's retained a single drop of information this whole time, and we've been helping him for three hours! It's almost like he's trying NOT to learn! Remember when I asked him where the Battle of Canterlot took place, and he said France?! Plus, he's eating me out of house and home! Like, all my cookies are gone, my soda's been consumed, and he stole all my tea bags to make something called "kombucha"?! What even IS kombucha?!

He won't learn, and he's taking all my stuff without asking! Lyra, what do we do? Is the truth worth putting up with this?

Oh no! I think he caught a glimpse of my phone screen! Quick, mission abort! Abort!!!

To: Flash Sentry
From: Sandalwood

Yoooo! Bro, you will NOT believe what happened to Micro Chips and I at the grocery store yesterday! We wanted Chocolate Coated Caramel Crispy Cookies to eat while we watched the spy cam footage, but when we found them, Pinkie and Sunset were at the other end of the aisle, ready to fight for the sole remaining box. It was like one of those trippy old Western showdowns you see in movies. We all RAN for the cookies, then passed around the box like it was a hot potato! It was insane.

At some point, Sunset called out Micro Chips for putting a camera in Celestia's office to spy on her friend, and guess who overheard that from the next aisle? Vice Principal Luna! She was out shopping for her sister, and when she heard what Sunset said, she rushed over to find us. We thought we were in so much trouble, but no! Instead of chastising us, Luna asked what we'd found out! Apparently, she ALSO has no idea what's going on between her sister and Rainbow Dash, and she agreed to help us find the truth! Isn't that great? We have a faculty member on our side now!

Only downside, we didn't get the cookies. But, while Celestia is hosting the assembly tomorrow, Luna's going to have her own private meeting with Rainbow Dash to interrogate the truth out of her! We still have to attend the assembly, though, which meh. You win some, you lost some.

Man, I've never been so excited! Searching for the truth is such an epinephrine-booster! What am I gonna do when this is all over? How am I gonna satisfy this craving? Whoa, I hadn't even thought about that. Whatever. That's future-Sandalwood's problem, not mine!

Whoops, gotta go. Micro Chips is freaking out about something. Text you later.

To: Silver Spoon
From: Diamond Tiara


All anybody wanted to talk about was Rainbow Dash and Principal Celestia! "Oh, I think they're dating." "Oh, I think they're related." "Oh, I think Celestia is helping her with college applications." "Oh, I think Rainbow is too embarrassed to tell her friends she needs time away from them." Ew! Who cares about all that?! The day was supposed to be all about ME, not HER! Ugh! That's why I kicked everyone out after breakfast this morning. I couldn't take it anymore! If they won't celebrate me at my birthday party, they don't deserve to stay in my mansion!

I officially HATE this Rainbow Dash and Principal Celestia scandal! It's ruining my LIFE! First, I get in trouble for watching Micro Chips's livestream, and now I don't even get to have a good birthday party? NO! I'm a member of the Rich Family, and I do not deserve to be treated this way!

Forget hiring a private investigator. I don't care about "the truth" anymore. No, I'm going to show those phony students that you do NOT mess with Diamond Tiara. Just you wait. By tomorrow afternoon, Rainbow Dash won't be the talk of the school anymore. I guarantee it.

To: Fluttershy
From: Rarity

It's okay, Fluttershy, you needn't worry about Zephyr. I'm sure Principal Celestia will knock some sense into him at that dreadful assembly tomorrow morning. Although, one thing, darling, you don't need to type "um" in your text messages. Most people try not to show any signs of hesitation when they text. No, most hesitation comes before and after you hit send.

Anyway, see you tomorrow, lovely!

To: Flash Sentry
From: Micro Chips