• Published 16th Oct 2019
  • 3,057 Views, 194 Comments

Rainbow Dash, Please Report to the Principal's Office - TheGuineaPig45

Rainbow Dash has been sent to the principal's office, yet nobody knows why. As theories emerge and gossip spreads through the halls, the CHS student body spirals into chaos searching for one thing: the truth.

  • ...

4: Frustration

To: Flash Sentry
From: Sandalwood

Yooooo, Micro Chips actually did it! I didn't think he had the courage, but he totally put a tiny hidden camera into Principal Celestia's office last night! Captain Planet heard from Pixel Pizzazz, who heard from Photo Finish, who heard from Bulk Biceps, who heard from Trixie that Sour Sweet and Indigo Zap were in town yesterday at, like, midnight. I think Micro Chips might've gotten their help to break into the school and install the camera. Isn't that crazy? Wondercolts working with Shadowbolts! Man, this thing is getting so whack.

What's even more whack is that Micro Chips is holding a watch party to find out the truth! We have extended homeroom today, so everyone is gonna skip that and go to the gym, crowd around his computer, and watch what Celestia and Rainbow do instead! It's gonna be amazing! Dude, you better be here! Finally, my craving will be satisfied!

In other news, no response from Bow Hothoof (RD's pops). But now, we won't need it, since Micro Chips has our backs! This is gonna be so great!

To: Fluttershy
From: Applejack

Goodness gracious. A watch party? Really? Whatever happened to respecting people's privacy? Now the school is fixing to turn her personal situation into a spectacle? That ain't right! Course, talking sense into the whole school will be a lot harder than just confronting Trixie at lunch. Maybe I'll borrow one of Pinkie Pie's megaphones and make a speech at the watch party. I was going to go anyway, since Rarity wants to be there, and I want to make sure she doesn't get Trixie-levels of involved in this mess. Although, I doubt anything I say could make our peers hush up. This goshdarn drama is so embedded in their lives, I doubt anything short of the truth will end this mania.

I hope this whole mess ends soon. I miss our Rainbow Dash.

To: Silver Spoon
From: Diamond Tiara

You haven't been responding to any of my texts, so I'm not talking to you. Well, after THIS, I'm not talking to you.

Rainbow Dash walked into the school and started straight toward the principal's office, like usual, but get this. Her DAD was with her! I wasn't there, of course, but Scootaloo says that Rumble was there, and from his testimony, it sounds like Mr. Dash had no idea his daughter was skipping class! Drama! I wonder how he found out?

Anyway, now he's headed toward the principal's office with Rainbow, and I bet Celestia is going to explain to him exactly what's happening. And thanks to Micro Chips, we'll be watching from the safety of the gym. He's my new hero!

You HAVE to be at the viewing party, Silver Spoon! The truth is about to be exposed! Get over here! We're starting in like three minutes!

To: Bon Bon
From: Lyra Heartstrings

Sweetie, where are you? I'm in the gym, trying to return your history notes, but the crowd here is so big I can hardly see anything. Just about every student is crowded around this one computer, shouting something about Rainbow Dash? I don't know, but if you're here, hop on one foot so I can see you. Also, because seeing you do that would be adorable.

Oh, wait, their shouting just went from curiously excited to extremely upset really fast. I'm gonna head out before something bad happens. Text me where you are so you can get your notes!

To: Sour Sweet
From: Micro Chips

He SAT on my camera!

Rainbow Dash's dad interrupted my livestream and SAT on my camera!

It was going so perfectly, too. Principal Celestia was in her office, sifting through her paperwork, and Rainbow Dash walked in, saying she needed to "talk." Of course, before we could get any context, stupid Mr. Hothoof burst into the office, kvetching about how his daughter "needs an education" and "should be going to class" so she can fulfill her dreams! Principal Celestia told him to calm down, and that she would explain everything. And then, right as she was about spill the beans, he SAT on my camera! Instead of a live feed exposing the truth, we got to watch the seat of his khakis squirm around uncomfortably, hearing nothing but the sound of his grunts! Obviously you're uncomfortable in that seat! You're sitting on my camera! What's even worse is that when he got up, the camera got stuck to his pants somehow, so now, I can't even get my camera back! No, instead, all I've got is a livestream of whatever his backside can see! UGH!

All our hard work was ruined by a middle-aged man! Think of all the scientific research we could've amassed from that footage! Not to mention, that camera was expensive, and we definitely broke some law breaking into CHS last night. I've never been more upset in my life! Ugh. Sorry to make you come all the way to Canterlot and risk getting arrested just for a failed experiment. It was supposed to be great...

Any chance you could help me break into Rainbow Dash's house to get my camera back?

To: Sunset Shimmer
From: Trixie Lulamoon

Oof. You should be glad you didn't come to the watch party, Sunset. It was not great, nor was it powerful. It was just bad. Instead of finding out why Rainbow Dash is spending so much time in the principal's office, we watched her dad's behind for five minutes. Gross. Seriously, who puts a hidden camera on a chair, of all places? I thought Micro Chips was supposed to be, like, smart or something.

But the awfulness didn't stop there. Since we all skipped homeroom, Miss Cheerliee and Mr. Doodle went looking for us. And when they came to the gym and saw what we were doing, well, let's just say it wasn't pretty. There was a lot of yelling about "boundaries" and "an invasion of privacy" and "student misconduct," none of which I really listened to, to be completely honest. Basically, they're going to talk to Principal Celestia, and on Monday we're going to have yet another assembly about the dangers of gossip and "controlling our impulses". Yawn. The Great and Powerful Trixie does not have time for such infantile conversations when the truth is out there, waiting to be discovered!

Speaking of, now that we know Rainbow Dash is still keeping up with her classes under Celestia's supervision, there's a whole realm of possibilities that open up. Don't hate me for this, but maybe she is in a relationship with Celestia, and the two are "hanging out" when class is happening. Of course, to keep their relationship going, Celestia has to make sure Rainbow doesn't fail school or get expelled. I'm not saying that's the truth, nor will I spread it around the school as such, but it's just a possibility to explore. Think about it.

Ugh, this assembly on Monday is going to be torture.

To: Pinkie Pie
From: Applejack

Well, I'll be. I just don't understand it. Even though the watch party was a bust, and there's a severe reprimanding in store for us at that assembly on Monday, our peers sound more motivated than ever to find out what's happening with Rainbow Dash! I mean, during gym class today, everybody was buzzing with their theories again, as if nothing had even happened this morning! And normally, I'm all for being motivated by your failures, learning from them, and trying again till you get results, but not for this!

I just heard Octavia Melody suggest that Rainbow Dash is Principal Celestia's secret daughter, and they're spending their time in there dealing with those ramifications. Clearly, this has gone way too far.

At least the weekend is finally here. We can take a break from this madness! Because, surely, our peers won't carry their conspiracy theories into our time away from school, right?