• Published 16th Oct 2019
  • 3,342 Views, 196 Comments

Rainbow Dash, Please Report to the Principal's Office - TheGuineaPig45



Rainbow Dash has been sent to the principal's office, yet nobody knows why. As theories emerge and gossip spreads through the halls, the CHS student body spirals into chaos searching for one thing: the truth.

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11: Adaptation

To: Cranky Doodle
From: Cheerilee

Hey, quick question. Was there a field trip today or something else I forgot about? Because there are zero students in my class right now, and I'm really confused. And concerned. I mean, even Twilight Sparkle isn't here, and she hasn't missed a day of school in years! Seriously, she once came to class with a fever and still got a 105 on a quiz! If she's not around, something must be wrong.

I'm worried, Cranky. First the school-wide riot, and now this? Since when are our students so troublesome? Is there some new drug on the market that we don't know about? Because I honestly haven't sensed this much disharmony since Celestia took red velvet cookies off the lunch menu. And those days were dark.

This could be a symptom of some larger, underlying issue. Or maybe it's an act of rebellion. Perhaps a protest against Celestia? Against Rainbow Dash? But why? What statement are they trying to make here? What's going on in their heads? Why are they skipping class on a Wednesday? What is happening?!


To: Micro Chips
From: Sandalwood

DUDE, WE FORGOT ABOUT SCHOOL!

Everyone was so into the sleepover yesterday, it totally slipped our minds! We stayed up until, like, four in the morning! There was no way we were getting up on time! And since both of Fluttershy's parents are away on a business trip, nobody was around to remind us!

We were shocked awake at noon by a chorus of ringtones. Apparently, Principal Celestia told our parents that everyone was missing, and they promptly called us all in a panic. At once. Normally, I love exploring the various sounds this world has to offer, but believe me... waking up to a hundred screeching phones was torture. Flash keeps saying he lost his hearing because of it, and I can't tell if he's exaggerating! It was that bad!

Anyway, we're definitely in trouble with our parents for essentially skipping school. But, at this point, nobody really cares. Being in trouble is our new status quo. Besides, last night was exhausting, both physically and emotionally. The Wonder-cult needs a day off! (Oh, I forgot to mention — I coined the term "Wonder-cult" last night. Get it? It's like "Wondercolt", but a cult.)

So, instead of going to school late or going home to angry parents, we're just gonna chillax here at the Shy house for a while. Everyone pitched in three dollars for food, so Zephyr, Lyra, and couple others headed to the supermarket to buy stuff. Once they come back, our resident chefs will cook up a meal, and we'll have brunch as a group! Kind of like a party after-party. Could be fun, right?

And, hey — since everyone's finally talking to each other again, maybe we can use this time to sift through yesterday's craziness. After all, we still need to apologize to Celestia for this mess. Although, thinking about it now, collectively skipping school probably isn't helping us in that department...

Eh, whatever. I've got a good feeling about today. The Wonder-cult is going to make some progress!


To: Sunset Shimmer
From: Twilight Sparkle

NOOOOOO!!!

How did this happen?! I've never slept through my alarm before! NEVER! In fact, I haven't even been late to school since fourth grade! And that time was only by six seconds! THIS IS OVER FOUR HOURS, SUNSET! FOUR HOURS! Maybe if we run, we can still make it in time for the Chemistry quiz!

Wait... did I hear Sandalwood correctly? We're not going to school? We're preparing a brunch instead? NOOOO!!! I could handle being late, but skipping school entirely?! That's too rebellious! I'm gonna fail the quiz! I'm never going to get into college! My perfect attendance record's gonna be ruined!!!

WHAT HAS THIS SCANDAL DONE TO ME?!?!


To: Pinkie Pie
From: Applejack

Oh, brother. Looks like she's "Twilight-ing" again. Better get my lasso ready. Wouldn't want a repeat of last time...


To: Bon Bon
From: Lyra Heartstrings

Really wish you were here, Bon Bon. This supermarket run has been wild. First, Snips got stuck in a shopping cart. Then, Roseluck and Photo Finish started arguing about whether pancakes or waffles are better (pancakes, duh). And then, we lost Wallflower Blush in the produce aisle and spent ten minutes looking for her... only to realize she was behind us the entire time. Yeah, not our finest moment.

The weirdest part of this trip, though, has been Zephyr Breeze. You're never going to believe this, but he tried holding the door for me earlier. Isn't that insane?! He never does that for anyone! Sure, it was an automatic door that would've opened without him, but still. And that was just the beginning! He's since asked for my favorite cookie, ice cream, frozen pizza, and deli meat, all of which have "mysteriously" appeared in our cart!

I'm worried. Either Zephyr's barking up the wrong tree, or he's suddenly turned nice. Between hosting the sleepover, ordering everyone pizza, and now being a considerate shopper, he's become an entirely different person! It's hard to believe this is the same guy who tricked us last week! Why the sudden change of heart? Does he feel guilty for using Rainbow Dash's tragedy to be a leech? Or is he just afraid of Bulk Biceps punching him again?

Either way, I think putting salami in the cart might be his attempt at an apology. If that's the case, I accept. He may have used us, but it's not like we had the best of intentions in the first place. Besides, we're not going to get anything done if we hold petty grudges. We have to move on. That's the only way we can fix a mess like this.

Okay, wait. He just put a case of "kombucha" in the cart, even though we know he stole your tea bags to make some himself. Some things never change, I guess.


To: Rainbow Dash
From: Trixie Lulamoon

Rainbow Dash, read this very carefully. The following message contains a sentiment I seldom express and rarely actually mean. I want to assure you, though, that everything I am about to say is the truth. The Candid and Emotional Trixie owes you an apology.

Truly, I am sorry for everything that's happened this past week. I invaded your privacy, perpetuated several rumors, and called for a school-wide revolution, all of which was grossly uncalled for. Nobody at this school ever takes me seriously, and I thought helping uncover the truth might finally earn me some respect. Obviously, that doesn't excuse my actions, but I thought you should know the truth. I feel absolutely awful for exploiting your tragedy, and I hope you can forgive me someday.

That being said, The Wise and Thoughtful Trixie would like to offer you some advice. Very few people know this, but my grandfather passed away last semester. It was my first experience with loss, and I shut down. Couldn't focus in class. Couldn't do my homework. Couldn't even perfect my magic tricks. The agony took over my life, to the point where it felt like there was nothing else...

Until I spoke to Sunset Shimmer.

Rainbow, grief is like a roller coaster. There's twists, turns, and many times when you'll want to scream. And just when you think the ride's over, it starts up again. And you can't get off. At first, it's scary and lonely. But then you realize that roller coasters have multiple seats. And when I let Sunset ride with me, those twists and turns stopped being so jarring. Even though she'd never experienced anything similar, having someone to talk to made the darkest days feel that much brighter. So, while I'm still riding the roller coaster to this day, I've adapted to it. There's still some sadness within me, but it no longer controls my life. The Great and Powerful Trixie made her triumphant return, which wouldn't have been possible without accepting help from a friend.

Listen, I know that the grieving process is different for everyone. However, I also know that your friends really care about you. Like, freakishly so. There's no shame in talking in them, Dash. They want to help you. And, hey, if you ever want to talk to somebody who went through something similar, I'm sure I could make time in my schedule.

Okay, that's enough of the Knowledgeable and Empathetic Trixie for one day. See you at brunch. 💨

(That emoji was supposed to be a smoke bomb, if you couldn't tell.)


To: Captain Planet
From: Flash Sentry

Hey, you know how our classmates sometimes spontaneously break out into songs expressing their innermost thoughts and desires? Well, I just witnessed one through the window. Diamond Tiara was sitting alone in the backyard, scrolling through her phone, then BAM! Just like that, she started singing! It was a pretty heartbreaking number, too. Something about wishing she could be somebody else, and not knowing how to become the person she wants to be... Sounded like a real downer.

I know we typically ignore these spur-of-the-moment musical numbers, but Diamond Tiara seems pretty upset. Should I go over and talk to her? Would that be awkward? I hope she's okay...


To: Silver Spoon
From: Diamond Tiara

Ugh. I just watched Rainbow Dash go into the bathroom with all her friends. They're probably going to have a heart-to-heart about the importance of communication and friendship. Maybe even share a group hug or song. Meanwhile, I'm all alone in the backyard! Nobody wants to talk to me. Nobody even wants to be near me! (Although, Flash Sentry is apparently stalking me through a window, so that's... fun.)

Mother always told me not to associate myself with problematic people, but now I've become the problematic person! Like, I literally started a school-wide riot to tear everyone apart. That's not the Wondercolt way! CHS is all about the magic of friendship, while I exemplify the magic of manipulation. Do I even belong here?

I wish that Memory Stone hadn't been destroyed. I could've made everyone forget this whole scandal ever happened! Or, at the very least, I could've gotten Principal Celestia to un-cancel Rainbow Dash's video...

Oh my goodness. Silver Spoon, that's it! That's the key to our problems! This is gonna sound crazy, but I have an idea that might just fix everything!

Buckle up, Wondercolts. This brunch is about to get interesting!