Chapter 6
"I don't want to wake her up! You wake her up!"
"No! You wake her up!"
"No! You wake her up!"
"Hey! I just said that! No fair!"
"Would you idiots stop arguing about who has to wake up our Queen and just wake her up already!"
"Why don't you do it!?"
There were, Queen Whatevra Wa'Nabe relflected, far more pleasant things to wake up to than a group of changelings huddled together nearby, arguing in harsh whispers with each other over who had to wake you up.
"I have seniority. Someling other than me can wake up our Queen."
Releasing Katydid, Queen Whatevra quietly instructed the relieved attendant. "Snacks. Popcorn or something like it if we have any."
"Yes, my Queen," Katydid nodded before sneaking past her fellow attendants.
"Exactly! You have seniority, so you have responsibility!"
"I have never woken up our Queen before..."
"Of course you haven't! She was just born yesterday!"
"I meant even our previous queen, Chrysalis, you dolt!"
"So you shirked your duties even then!"
"I've been a royal attendant for over ten years! Do you think I would have lasted that long under Queen Chrysalis if I shirked any of my duties!?"
"In a heartbeat, if you thought you could get away with it!"
"Exactly! Which is why I'm delegating responsibility! You do it!"
"Fine! I delegate too! You do it, Ladybug!"
"You can't delegate to me, I'm your own sister!"
"I was laid first!"
"Well, I hatched first!"
Katydid snuck back in with a bowl of puffed love snacks, hoofing it over to the queen, and then sitting down when Queen Whatevra patted a spot next to her on the bed. The two then shared the snacks while they watched the others continue their argument.
"Let's delegate to Junebug!"
The attendant in question just levelled a gaze at Ladybird and Ladybug.
"Let's not delegate to Junebug!"
"Agreed! Katydid, you wake up our Queen!"
"Don't have to," Katydid snarked. "She's been up for a while now."
"Erk!"
"She's right, you know," Queen Whatevra Wa'Nabe said with a grin. "Now care to explain why the four of you, while in what I am assuming is my bedchambers, felt the need to argue about who had to wake me up?"
"PLEASE FORGIVE US!"
"Perhaps, once I've figured out what I should be forgiving you for. First, some questions."
"Yes, my Queen," they all replied in near synchronicity.
"Introduce yourselves."
They all started talking at once, stopping abruptly when their sovereign glared at them.
"One at a time, starting from the left. I already know Katydid's name, so she's exempt. Begin."
"I am Junebug. I have been a royal attendant for the past five years, and am usually partnered with Mayfly on nightshift."
"I am Mayfly. I have served your mother loyally for over ten years and hope to serve you as faithfully during your reign, my Queen. As Junebug has stated, we normally see to any needs the queen may have during the night."
"I am Ladybird. My sister and I have been royal attendants for the past three years, having joined together. We rotate shifts with other attendants you have not met yet."
"I am Ladybug, the sister Ladybird just mentioned. We also acted as chaperones last night even though we weren't on nightshift and Mayfly and Junebug were."
"Hey!" Mayfly hissed her objection, presumably over being thrown under the proverbial bus, while Junebug remained stoic.
"Did anything happen?" Queen Whatevra Wa'Nabe asked.
"Nothing more inappropriate than snuggling, my Queen," Ladybug reported. "Katydid attempted to extract herself from your grasp several times during the night, but did not succeed."
"Alright then. Katydid, you're off today. Get some rest. You two as well, Ladybug and Ladybird. Junebug, Mayfly, attend me."
"Yes, my Queen," all four responded once again in near synchronicity.
All in all, Katydid mused as she left the queen's chambers with the two sisters, the morning was going a lot better for her than she had expected.
*O o O o O*
Fully inspecting the hive spire took the better part of a week. In part due to the shifting nature of the internal structure, which tended to rearrange itself on a semi-regular basis barring only a few select facilities, and in part because Queen Whatevra Wa'Nabe actually placed some priority on getting her education up to speed. Particularly her literacy, as she actually wanted to be able to read what was in the Royal Archives sooner rather than later.
At the moment she was hung up on discerning the vowels (the pointy bits) from the consonants (the other pointy bits), and the fact that their syllabus for learning their alphabet literally started off with "A is for Anger, B is for Bored, C is for [CENSORED]…" was both funny and depressing at the same time. And her tutors were both amazed and appalled by her progress.
"A."
"That's a double-u, my Queen," Spelling Bee corrected, his tone dripping with condescension.
"N."
"That's the a, my Queen." Really, while Humblebee could be snarky at times, he at least came across as amused, whereas Spelling Bee sounded like the only reason he could be bothered to teach his sovereign was because he had been instructed to do so by said sovereign.
"X."
"That's an o, my Queen." It was quite obvious to Queen Whatevra Wa'Nabe that Spelling Bee had no actual desire to actually be there, teaching her, when he could presumably be off doing whatever it was he had been doing before (which, she later found out, had been writing an in-depth and very rudely lettered critique of the latest edition of volume three of the Encyclopedia Equestria, in which he had painstakingly pointed out each and every spelling mistake and grammatical error he could find).
"L."
"That's the a again, my Queen." And there it was again. That oh so special tone that gave Queen Whatevra Wa'Nabe the feeling that Spelling Bee thought she was a blithering idiot.
"U."
"That's also the a, my Queen."
"R."
"So close. That's actually the s, my Queen."
"Fired."
"That's not a letter, my... Oh, I see what you did there, my Queen. Very droll. Should I send in the next tutor?"
"Please do. And report back to whatever duty you were pulled from. I only fired you as my tutor." The Noble Grammarian and Publication Society of Equestria would not be thanking Queen Whatevra Wa'Nabe anytime soon for releasing Spelling Bee back to his self-appointed task of pestering them relentlessly. On the other hoof, once several schools in Equestria had compared notes and discovered that the reason that the books they were forced to rely on so much to teach their students were now being held to the same exacting standards that the NGPSE inflicted on everypony else, they decided to start hosting a celebratory interschool competition honoring Spelling Bee (oddly enough, the competition they chose to honor Spelling Bee with was a bake off featuring copious amounts of pi).
"Thank you, my Queen."
"And can someling bring me that book that was written in contemporary new ponish again? I could actually read that! Why do all of our letters have to look like eye gouging sharp angles and bug-splats anyway when we speak the same language that our neighbors do?"
"The history behind the basis of our particular alphabet is quite fascinating..."
"That was a rhetorical question."
"But it may be relev…"
"Rhetorical. Question."
"Yes, my Queen. I'll see myself out."
It took a while, but a tutor who was able to instruct the new queen without making her grumpy and irritable was eventually found. And once Queen Whatevra Wa'Nabe felt that she was sufficiently far enough along to pursue self study, she placed the newly renamed Luminous Syllabus in charge of educating a cadre of nymphs, to see if her teaching methods were better suited for the task than those currently used by the hive's educational system.
*O o O o O*
Of course, even with the ongoing inspection tour, between spending so much time getting her education up to speed and the shifting nature of the hive itself, some things managed to escape the new queen's notice until they caught her attention in a big way.
"Humblebee."
"Yes, my Queen?"
"Did I just see a bunch of changelings..."
"Cluster, my Queen. A gathering of changelings is known as either a cluster or a swarm, depending on the overall size."
"Right." Well, at least Humblebee came across as sounding like he wanted to be genuinely helpful, even when he was snarky, which counted for a lot in Queen Whatevra's book. "Anyway, did I just see a cluster of changelings hauling what appeared to be an airship up the side of the spire?"
"I wouldn't know, my Queen. I saw no such thing myself, but I may have been looking in a different direction."
"They were right over there, visible through the window that was there only a moment ago."
"Give it a quarter hour, my Queen. I'm sure the window will open up again within that period. Perhaps the cluster with the airship will still be there at that time."
"I think that I'd prefer to meet them at their destination."
"That might not be wise, my Queen."
"Why not?"
"That's one of Honeydew's projects, my Queen. She's attempting to discover how airships fly."
"I see," Queen Whatevra stated in a tone that clearly indicated that she did not, in fact, see anything of the sort. "That still doesn't explain why it wouldn't be wise to meet them at their destination."
"This will be the third time that Honeydew has attempted to launch this particular airship. The second time she tried making the ship lighter."
"Well, that would be a step in the right direction."
"By reducing the size of the... I believe it is called an envelope?"
"And that's a mad dash in the exact wrong direction. Lead the way, Humblebee, I must speak with this Honeydew..."
*O o O o O*
"Now get in the test craft, Beaker."
"Mimimimimi!"
"Don't be silly, Beaker! You'll be perfectly safe this time! We lightened the load by removing the envelope entirely this time, so it won't be there for you to get tangled up in again if it achieves negative lift results. Stop being a sissy!"
"Mimimimimimimi!"
"Actually, you'll want to replace the envelope with a larger one rather than getting rid of it."
"Well, excuse me whoever you are, but who's the scientis… My Queen! Forgive me, my Queen!"
"You are forgiven. For now."
"Right, right. Now, you were saying?"
"Mimimi?"
"Not now, Beaker."
"Mimimimimimi!"
"Quiet, Beaker, can't you see that the Queen is speaking with us!?"
There was a snap and a sudden grinding noise of wood scraping across stone as the airship Beaker was on slid off the top of the spire and began it's third decent to the ground far below, much faster than the previous two attempts.
"BEAKER! GET BACK UP HERE! THE QUEEN SAID TO STOP THE TEST!"
"MIMIMIMImimimimimimimimimi!!!" CRUNCH
"Will he be fine?" Queen Whatevra Wa'Nabe asked, her voice filled with concern.
"Oh, he'll be fine. This sort of thing happens to him all the time."
"Look, for the safety of the hive, I'm going to have you move all of your projects to... That mesa over there. I'll assign a security and safety detail for the protection of you and your staff. Just try not to get yourself or anyling else killed."
"I shall endeavor to do my best, my Queen! ah... Which mesa was that again?"
"That one. The black mesa."
"That's more of a burgundy, my Queen. Quite lovely, but not actually black at all, I'm afraid."
"Oh, trust me. It will be black soon enough." If nothing else, she expected that the mesa would be darkened eventually by Honedew's own experiments. And possibly Flambé's as well, as this seemed like a prime opportunity to relocate the little pyromaniac before she figured out how to ignite stone...
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Heh, Black Mesa
So uhh, does this human character think she is in some sort of fever dream, and is expecting to wake up, or something? There is surprisingly little panic, or introspection, or even grief at losing her old life.
Maybe her human's knowledge would come in handy this time?
this is funny story please write more and mroe and more, cuase it freaking funny,
i wonder are these the type of changelign where the queen lays all the eggs or something else
Welcome to Black Mesa, where we cause Resonance Cascades so we get invaded!
9888366
I think she’s in the same boat as another rather popular HiE, namely The Inn At The End of Equestria, I think she isn’t worrying because she really doesn’t give a crap about anything.
Maybe Black Mesa
That was a joke
HaHa
Fat chance
Aaaah, I remember reading up to this over on SB, can't wait for the next chapter!
9888366
She already had her freakout in the first chapter, and seems to have come to terms with it by the second or third IIRC
Chlorine trifluoride ignites glass on contact, and it can burn stone very happily. You cannot practically put out a large spill of it, the only way is to let it burn out. It can burn almost anything when it is hot including the steel drums it is kept in.
It ignites in contact with living tissues and also immediately burns away any "fireproof" clothes. It scared the Nazis.
Flambé would absolutely love it!
9888519
I have no idea how this is related to the story, but yes, Adding Chlorine Trifluoride makes everything
worsebetter.9888317
9888466
I got no idea
Oh man, this is great! I love what you're doing with the names. Black mesa, Beaker, not a big fan of the queen's name, but I get the humor in it.
I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
Updating every week or every other week will be fine
9888360
9888407
AH good it wasn't just me catching the half life refs
9888432
I'm glad I'm Still Alive to read this.
9888519
Huh... and before this I thought the most flammable chemicals were Thermite and White Phosphorous. You learn something new every day!
Also, I wonder if the Changelings are slowly starting to realize that their new Queen is a bit more "chill" compared to their last one? It'd be a bit interesting, I believe, for them to ponder on the differences between their old and new monarch.
9888734
I expect that to come up soon, but even if they're thinking about it, I doubt too many will be chancing her anger soon. Then again, somelings are stupidly bold...
9888519
It also reacts violently with hot water. So yeah.
It's really fun stuff.
More muppets! Like the yip yip Martians!
YIPYIPYIPYIP COW
In a few years, black mesa will be a research facility, I can feel it.
9888799
In a few months, Black Mesa will actually be black.
Most likely due to fire damage.
9888383
I could be wrong but I thought it was established early on that the Changelings lay eggs but group them together, raising them as a whole. That would mean there are male and females. Also, at an educated guess of changeling powers, it doesn't mean the false equipment actually works, so to speak.
Good length of chapter. Nice content. Entertaining humor. Well developing main character
Neat reference btw 
Ahh, I liked the daily updates. Xd
I see the muppets reference you did there. Awesome xd.
9888366
Its her first or second day... Dont think you can expect to have any of your questions answered until a week in story time passed
And thus the doom of Equestria was started.
9888532
It is related to the last sentence of Chapter 6, about Flambé figuring out how to ignite stone. Adding Chlorine Trifluoride is the only practical way to ignite stone (in our reality). Hot Fluorine gas works too, but may not be practical.
YOU UPDATED!
9888519
Isnt it used to clean nuclear power plants?
That being said, it might be more accurate to say that it cleans the wall off.
Well, let’s hope Flambé doesn’t get her hand on any Anomalous Materials.
Also, Katy is best bug.
Is this new content? The wake up part seems familiar, but the airship bit isn’t.
9888519
I liked what I found when I looked it up in Wiki
:
Yes, Flambé would most definitely LIKE this!
9888734
Buddy, if you want uncontrollable boom, look no further than Dioxygen Diflouride, also known as FOOF for reacting explosively with room temperature.
9888432
Well, it seems our queen is making black Mesa, let's just hope honeydew does not end world by summoning the aliens or combine
Professor honeydew sounds very familiar. I've heard the name in a show cant remember the name
9889268 I was about to say you missed the 'X at' between 'with' and 'room temperature', but then I realised Dioxygen Diflouride probably does react with room temperature on it's own.
If changelings in black mesa won't speak half life sfx, i will be heavily disappointed.
Wait a second.....wasn’t this on spacebattles I think I remember watching it there.....I think?
Edit: Saw the author’s note
I... I question the sanity of the new queen... That, and the terrifying effectiveness of her...
9889553
tldr, its extremely unstable past anything over 120 Kelvin.
So.
Yeah.
9890011
Indeed, she sounds fun!
How funny, in the pursuit of an airship, the makings of an early prop plane was nearly discovered
Just tell them to go inside the room and continue arguing there.
That would wake her up without them having to decide who actually wakes her.
Edit: It seems you got that idea, too.
Say, does the NGPSE the guy who is bugging them is an actual bug?
Yup, better keep your distance.
I remember a certain story where changelings tried to build rockets...
Hmmmm.. why do I get the feeling that they're going to need to start a magical research facility across from Black Mesa. Maybe they'll put it in a conveniently located cave? And decide to name it after the cave opening? "Apeture" would be a fitting name for such a facility, don't you think?
I sincerely hope Queen Whatevra has reason to sing The Song in front of Twilight.
Very well written, a premise i like, and is one that almost always gets featured when written well. Sadly most similar stories just sorta.... fade away.
Keep it going darling!
This, this is what i like to have at breakfast.
9890912
You should see the original crack-fic version I wrote that inspired some SpaceBattlers to convince me to turn this into a proper story.
9891155
They knew what they were doing. May your story end on an actual ending and your enjoyment ever grow
I seeing a theme here with the updates...
but it has now ended since today.