• Published 12th Oct 2019
  • 6,372 Views, 399 Comments

My Life As A Royal Changeling - Tangent

A middle aged brony finds herself inexplicably replacing Chrysalis as the new queen of the hive a few decades before a certain pony prophesy comes to fruition. Now the new queen must decide what direction to take the kingdom she inherited..

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Chapter 2

Queen Whatevra Wa'Nabe considered the situation she had found herself in. She was a former human who had somehow ended up taking Queen Chrysalis' place as leader of the changeling hive in the Badlands. Or apparently Gandahar as the changelings called it. She already suspected, between some of the names in the Line of Queens and offhand (offhoof?) references that Humblebee had read off to her during the tour, that at least some of the previous queens had also been former humans from the same Earth that she had come from.

She half expected that, once she learned how to read changeling script, the records from Queen Amorphous Metamorphous' reign would be full of more references from seventies and eighties pop culture and science fiction. And probably a lot of prophecies full of was/will be tense confusion. Really? How did the main one go, anyway?

"In a thousand years Gandahar was destroyed; a thousand years ago Gandahar will be saved, and what can not be avoided will be."

"The prophecy..."

"The what now?" That was just a quote from the movie, wasn't it? Surely the First Queen didn't decide to troll her decendants with a nonsensical prophecy that didn't even apply to them in context, right?

"Queen Amorphous Metamorphous' prophesy," Humblebee elaborated. "It was written on her plaque but I didn't read it to you as, well, it has been well past a thousand years since the prophecy should have come to fruition."

"Humblebee, the prophecy refers to a broken time loop. It would have come full circle and been fulfilled during Queen Amy's reign."

"Queen... Amy?" Humblebee sounded scandalized. "My Queen, please show more respect for the First Queen. She is your direct ancestor after all. You can rename anyling else you want, as is your prerogative, but the Line of Queens should be sacrosanct."

"Queen Amorphous Metamorphous then," Queen Whatevra Wa'Nabe huffed, feeling both embarrassed and annoyed.

"Still, the fact that you were able to recite the prophesy, line for line, when you cannot yet even read it. Surely you have been graced with the touch of Neverwhen." Among other things, Humblebee figured that this might explain how the young queen had been born nearly fully grown when she should have been laid as an egg like any other changeling. Granted, Queen Chrysalis hadn't born any other princesses prior to her daughter, so the life cycle of a royal could be different, but the implication presented by the Hall of Queens was that it wasn't all that different from that of other changelings except perhaps by breadth of scale, as some of the young queen's ancestors had lived truly extraordinarily long lives, with the beginings and endings of the lifespans of most queens overlapping according to the dates on the plaques.

Well, according to those dates, Queen Mimsey was apparently born on the same day Queen Amour Perdue died, so it wasn't like it was unheard of for the changelings of Gandahar to experience a sudden regime change because the previous queen died during childbirth. Fortunately, such incidents did not appear to be the norm...

"Perhaps we should head for the Royal Infirmary, my Queen. We really should make sure that you are not experiencing any health issues."

"I don't wanna."

"That's perfectly normal, but I really advise that you get yourself checked out. Your mother shared the same reluctance, and whiney tone about it, and pretty much ignored her health, and look what happened to her."

"Fine," Queen Whatevra Wa'Nabe grumbled sullenly. "Wait, what was that bit in the middle?"

"Your mother shared the same reluctance?"

"No, the part after that."

"And pretty much ignored her health?"

"I'm going to have to keep an eye on you, aren't I"

"Keeping an eye on your advisors would be a wise habit to get into, my Queen."

*O o O o O*​

"Now, if you would stick out your tongue, my Queen," Doc Mandible requested as he readied a resin tongue depressor to check the young queen's mouth...


"Very classy, my Queen. But those lollipops are usually for after my patients are through with their check-ups. Still, impressive striking range. Now spit it out and stick out your tongue again... Slowly! And say Ah."


"Oh dear, that is disturbing. Could you please take this seriously, my Queen, and not display quite so many teeth? The inner mouth has to go too. I'm trying to check you, my Queen, not whatever imaginary nightmare creature you can turn yourself into."

Humblebee just noted to himself that the young queen was at least better behaved during her check-up than her mother had been. Granted, Queen Chrysalis would usually rush into the Royal Infirmary, grab the bucket of lollipops while Doc Mandible or one of the other medics desperately tried to conduct her examination during the brief period she was actually there, and make a break for it, so it wasn't as if the bar was actually set very high.

*O o O o O*

"And these are the nursery chambers, my Queen," Humblebee explained as the tour continued after the young queen's medical examination. "Every changeling mother either lays her clutch here, or has her eggs brought here after they have been laid, where they are pooled together into crèche groups. Each crèche generally hatches around the same time, and the members are raised together from larva through nymph and into early adulthood, generally considering the other members of their own crèche to be siblings whether directly related or not. Your mother liked to be present for most hatching days, and tried to spend some time each week with at least one crèche, but otherwise left their care up to..."

"D'aww! They're adorable!"

Humblebee trailed off as the young queen wandered into the middle of a large crèche of nymphs, cooing and drawing their attention to her. And then Queen Whatevra Wa'Nabe suddenly stopped, obviously tense and on high alert.


"Yes, my Queen?"

"Why is there a giant spider over there in the corner, and is there any reason it shouldn't be killed with fire?"

"Ah, yes, that is a crèche spider, my Queen. The breed was domesticated long ago to help protect our young from smaller pests and parasites, as well as serving as an early warning system against the larger spiders that are known to occasionally inhabit the deep caverns below Gandahar."

"Giant spiders."

"Yes, my Queen."

"As in, bigger than that thing over there."

"That thing, as you call it, is Mister Wriggly. He was one of your mother's favorites."

"I'll try to keep that in mind. Now, is there any reason that we can't kill the giant spiders under Gandahar with fire?"

"From what Queen Chrysalis has told us, there hasn't been an incursion from below for nearly a thousand years, when she was very young. They have most likely been dealt with long ago."

"Nearly a thousand years ago. Great. Another time-release threat then. Tell me that Gandahar has an actual military force, Humblebee."

"There is the Royal Guard, my Queen. Meta Knight will see that you are properly protected, I assure you."

"That wasn't what I asked, Humblebee. Now what does Gandahar have in the way of actual military forces that can be deployed against threats."

"Ah, my Queen, that's not how changelings operate. We're more into dealing with threats by way of infiltration, espionage, and sabotage. And failing that, your mother was fond of the tactic she referred to as 'the Swarm Rush.'"

"Of course she was," Queen Whatevra Wa'Nabe grumbled. "Do we have anyling who came back from more than just one or two of my mother's so-called swarm rushes?"

"I believe we have a few such veterans, my Queen. Off hoof, Mayhem and Calamity come to mind."

"Then get me Mayhem and Calamity, Humblebee. This tour is over. Oh, and summon Meta Knight while you're at it. It's time Gandahar had a proper military."

"At once, my Queen." Humblebee started to head off to do as the young queen instructed.

"Oh, um, Humblebee?"

"Yes, my Queen?"

"Have someling guide me to the throne room so I can actually be there once you have gathered Mayhem, Calamity, and Meta Knight."

"Of course, my Queen."

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