• Member Since 26th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

Syke Jr


Apathy is death.

T

In the distant future, a mind awakes to find itself without a body.

It remembers who it was.

Who she was.

Her name, once, was Luna.

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 18 )

That was amazing. I have no other words for it. Bravo.

That seemed to get his attention, but uncertainty still ruled Circuit’s countenance. “How can it be possible,” he said, “if nopony has done it for thousands of years?”

"Say that again, and think carefully. How can it not be possible if it was done thousands of years ago?"

“Show this to those who still have doubt,” I told him. “And let them show anypony they know who has doubt.”

Fight a virus with viral videos. Makes sense to me.

Some excellent stuff... though I have to wonder how knowledge of uncoded magic died out when Celestia's been there the whole time. The "it's dark magic; we won't touch it" rationale doesn't work well when sunbutt.exe's still running. To say nothing of, you know, history. Even if it's been millennia since the days of Twilight and friends, there have been two primary sources throughout all of it who can make sure their memories are preserved, especially as databases flourished and archives could be digitized.

This is a fantastic sci-fi drama, don't get me wrong, but the premise asks me to accept a lot from the get-go. Still, thank you for it and best of luck in the judging.

9936287
There's certainly a LOT left unsaid about the setting. The question as to why Celestia and Luna let traditional magic die out is certainly a good one, and one that I struggled to answer. I decided to leave it unanswered because, well, then the reader would be just as incredulous as Luna.

There was quite a lot of worldbuilding like that, that I wrote but ultimately cut. It made things progress even more slowly, in what was originally supposed to be a shorter piece anyway. I definitely regret not doing things a little more elegantly. If done right, the reader should have been too caught up in the story to really wonder about these holes in the set dressing. And I fell short of delivering on that engagement.

Next time, I'll start way earlier. Lesson learned! I'm not happy with this piece, really; it didn't work out at all like what I'd imagined, but I'm glad I finished it in time to submit something, even if it's something only passable.

Thanks for your comments as always. And thanks for running a great contest. Good luck judging them all :pinkiecrazy: :heart:

The ponies behold their princess, Princess Luna, in the form of a metal alicorn, floating in midair with steel wings outstretched and horn and eyes glowing with the light of a full moon. A floating, ethereal, translucent mane and tail made of pure magic sweep around her, blown by invisible winds. Severed wires trail down from her neck, from her withers.

Hell yes.

Wow. This is a compelling setup indeed. I'm eager to read more.

(There were a couple of typos: "Eqqus" (double Q) should be "Equus" (double U) - several times, and "bourne of insanity" should be "borne". )

Apart from that though the language is pretty impressive: it's rare to find someone who can wield thou'sts and thyself's correctly.

Hee. This is awesome. The scattered remnants, the rebel fleet, the plucky underdogs; their one hope being the rediscovery of the lost ancient art. It's not that that would be the one advantage they have over their enemy, exactly, as it seems the enemy already has that capability "her"self; but it might just be their one hope.

Luna rocks.

9937417
Definitely. That was an "Aww yeah!" moment. I managed to just about prevent myself pumping a fist in the air (in the middle of my office), but nonetheless that was awesome.

This was generally excellent. Yes, there's a lot about the setting that's left unexplained, but I think that's OK. I would love to read a sequel, where Luna takes the fight to the Nightmare, but this does stand on its own.

(Typos: "...youwillbeclosertoundersandingthe" - I think should end "understandingthe", and "Am am Luna" I assume should be "I am Luna".)

9938122
The double Q instead of double U is a stylistic choice; I've done it for years. I know equus is a word but I prefer it the other way, and it's a pronoun, so.

Thank you for all the comments. I'm glad you like the story!

No problem! I always mean to read more MLP scifi as it seems a fertile setup, and this is a good demonstration of that! :twilightsmile:

9938170
Ah! I was misled by the way that on two adjacent lines you spelled it in the two different ways. So it's the "Equus" that's a typo? Curious, but that's fine, it's your call. I suggest you fix that one then :pinkiesmile:

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

That "I wilt" should be "I will". You don't conjugate first-person verbs.

Shades of The Ship Who Sang? Certainly unusual for ponyfic.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

That was pretty cool! :)

I love it! A wondrous idea coupled with an entertaining execution, a worthy addition to my collection of favourites.

I quite liked it. There's definitely a lot of questions left unanswered - like others mentioned, there's a lot of potential for expanding the setting, both forwards and backwards, should you ever feel like it.

I wrote a critique/review of this story. It can be found right over here. If you have any questions or comments, I love discussing them.

As a minor grammar note: ship names are italicized: "the Starship Nightsong" should be "the Starship Nightsong".

This was just cool as heck. I love the idea of magic post-equine pony shenanigans. :pinkiehappy:

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