Biscuit stayed the night after kayaking. After we went inside, he took a shower, and Ma put an extra place setting at the dinner table.
“What, this again?” I said when I saw the salad on the table.
Ma apologized. “Just…a habit. So used to makin’ it.”
Biscuit waited for Pa and to arrive before he started eating. “Th-thank you so much for dinner,” he said to Ma.
“Aw, no problem, sugarcube,” she said. “Yer always welcome at our place.”
“In a minute, you’re gonna wish you didn’t thank her,” I whispered to Biscuit, pointing to the salad. It was supposed to be a joke. But he just frowned at me.
As I predicted, Biscuit took one bite of the salad and he spit it right out. “YUCK! WHAT IS THIS DISGUS—oh, sorry. I mean…it’s all…right…” he apologized to Ma.
It’s Ma’s raw onion grass and cattail salad. It’s very bitter—Ma puts a little light dressing on it, but it doesn’t cover up anything. The cattails leave this aftertaste in your mouth, and it makes you feel like gagging. Then the onion grass is so pungent your sinuses become inflamed and your tears flow out, and it kinda looks like you’re crying. I’ve eaten it a bunch of times, and after a lot of practice I’m able to eat a whole plate without gagging or crying.
Raw onion grass and cattail salad was my sister’s favorite food.
Completely raw, with very light dressing, that’s how my sister liked it. When she was as young as four, she’d gobble up two or three plates of the salad quite happily. She’d tell Ma and Pa that everypony at school made fun of her for liking such a nasty dish, and she felt left out. Ma and Pa didn’t want her to feel left out, so we all ate the same thing along with her. My sister would finish her plate first, and she’d just watch the rest of us finish before she got seconds. It’d be silent. Except for the sound of me, Ma, and Pa gagging and crying.
And I remembered my sister would smile a little.
Nowadays, Ma, Pa, and I can get through one whole plate of the salad in about ten minutes, without gagging or crying. It almost feels like a normal family dinner now. Small talk and everything.
“How was kayaking?” Pa asked me and Biscuit.
“It was a little chilly,” Biscuit said. “But Spur packed some hot tea so it was fine.”
“And the biscuits,” I added. “Don’t forget the biscuits, Biscuit.”
He went along with the pun. “Biscuit!? You call those things biscuits!? Those biscuits are a mockery to my name!” he teased.
Ma and Pa thought it was funny too. I heard four voices laughing in the room.
And for a moment, just for a moment, when I closed my eyes as I was laughing…I did not see my sister. For a moment, all I saw was darkness. And when I opened my eyes, I turned to my right and I expected to see my sister, but I saw Biscuit instead.
Ma and Pa had just finished reframing my sister’s old pictures. They talked about how they found some pictures of my sister as a newborn foal. There was even one with me holdin’ her. “You were holding your sister while flying in the air, and your sister was pullin’ on your little neck scarf with her mouth. It was the cutest dang thing.” Ma asked if I wanted to see it. I said maybe later.
I was only four, but I remember that photo real well. I thought my sister was trying to choke me.
I was hungry, so I managed to eat a few more bites of the salad than Biscuit. Biscuit pushed his plate away pretty early on.
“Don’t worry ‘bout it hon’,” Ma said to Biscuit. “Nopony really likes it that much.”
I still had some leftover biscuits from kayaking—the really bland kind with no sugar.
“You want a cookie?” I said, offering one on my wing. Biscuit happily ate six of them. “Thank you,” he said to me.
“So you like the biscuits now?” I asked.
“They’re pretty tasty,” Biscuit admitted.
Ma and Pa went to bed early. They were tired from reframing my sister’s pictures. Biscuit and I stayed up and played some board games. Then we listened to music—outside in the backyard so the Ma and Pa wouldn’t get woken up.
It was dark, and I forgot to bring a lantern. On the way back inside, a piece of gravel made Biscuit trip and fall. I cussed at the gravel and threw it into the lake. Hard. It skipped about eight or nine times across the water.
“Hey, that was a pretty good shot,” Biscuit said.
Ma had set up my sister’s room as a guest room for Biscuit. She hid all my sister’s reframed pictures in a solid oak cabinet inside the bedroom, so that the guests wouldn’t see it. Biscuit happened to open the cabinet, probably not knowing what was in there, and his face looked like he’d seen a ghost. He slammed the cabinet door shut.
The most evil pony in all of Equestrian history. Smiling at you, 50 times over. Enough to give anypony a heart attack.
“You all right?” I asked.
“Yeah, I just…” Biscuit sat down on the guest bed. We changed the mattress after my sister left for Ponyville. Cozy liked a very firm mattress, but most of our guests don’t want that.
I sat beside him, close enough that our flanks touched. “You’re trembling,” I said.
“I know.”
I took my wing and caressed it up his back. Biscuit smiled.
“Ya still scared?”
“A little.” He was still trembling.
“Maybe you’ll be a little less scared if ya…if ya come and sleep in my room.”
“Erm…I…well…sure.” Biscuit’s voice got real quiet.
I really wanted him to sleep with me. I wasn’t planning on having sex with him or anything, but if we could just…lie in bed together. That’s what I really wanted. And I got it.
And all I did was take Biscuit kayaking (on the day that Ma and Pa were reframing pictures so that they would get tried and go to bed early so that we wouldn’t be disturbed), make Biscuit gag on the cattail salad so that he’d start to like my bland biscuits, and force him to walk into Cozy Glow’s room and open that cabinet and get so damn scared that he’s got no choice but to sleep with me.
Oh golly, you’re a master of manipulation too! You’re just like me, sis. Whether you like it or not.
“Who’re you talking to?” Biscuit asked.
“Cozy Glow.”
Biscuit didn’t respond.
“I hear her voice in my head sometimes,” I explained.
“Like…in your head? Actually?”
“Yeah. It gets annoyin’ sometimes, cause her voice keeps me up at night.”
“How much do you sleep a night?”
“Like…four or five hours.”
“Four or five hours!?”
“Yeah. So?”
He placed his hoof over my mane. I think he was about to compliment it, but then he stopped himself. “Spur, h-have you thought about seein’ a therapist?”
“YES!” I yelled. I slapped his hoof away, hard, so that it hit his eye.
“What the hay was that for!?”
“I’m just dang tired of that question,” I said, turning away from him.
I used to have a therapist.
Princess Twilight paid for a therapist to counsel me and the whole family. She appointed her personally. Starlight Glimmer, formerly the guidance counselor at the School of Friendship. Ma and Pa declined the offer. They sorta blame Princess Twilight for my sister being gone. And having the same pony that executed your daughter appointing you a therapist…I can see why they didn’t want that.
I, however, saw Ms. Glimmer for several sessions. Ma and Pa were okay with me seeing her, but I didn’t like her. She was just like the other ponies at school. She kept asking me about my sister. I think Ms. Glimmer wished to counsel my sister, and hopefully reform her. And since my sister was executed…I was just the next best thing. The next best thing to who she wanted.
When I told her about my problems, she tried to compare it to her own past experiences with evil. As if we were the exact same pony. I told her about that time on the kayak, when I taught my sister how to make friends. And I remember she said to me, “There’s nothing we can do to change the past, but our guilt will get in the way of learning from our mistakes and moving past it.” And then as a comparison, she told me the story about how her late mother used to complain about how everything in society was so unfair, and that was the reason why she started her equality village.
That just made me feel worse. Why? Cause Ms. Glimmer’s done a lot of bad things in her past. And the things she said made me think that I did something wrong, when it was my sister’s that did the wrong.
I felt like Ms. Glimmer was counseling my sister. I was sitting in the room with her, and yet I felt like she wasn’t talking to me. I felt alone when I was with her.
Alone. That’s how I feel many times. Alone and useless.
I was never any good at farmwork, cause I didn’t have strong earth pony bones like Ma and Pa. And I wasn’t classy like the unicorns at school, all I had was a cheap linen neck scarf and a stupid curly mane that drove my mother crazy every morning. And I wasn’t smart either: my sister could beat me at a game of chess by the time she was four.
Ma and Pa were too polite to say. But I could always tell they were disappointed by me. Both their pegasus daughters, actually. For different reasons.
It’s a lonely life out here on the bayou. Not just for me, for everypony. Every house is separated by either a murky swamp or a long winding road. You could scream in the loudest Royal Canterlot voice and not be heard by anypony. You could saw the horn off of one of your unicorn friends and nopony but you would hear the horrid screams of pain coming from your wood shed.
My sister was seven. She was curious to see if she could become an alicorn.
She was tired of being a pegasus too.
…and then if I take the sawed off horn and I put to my head, maybe then we won’t be pegasi anymore. And Ma and Pa will start liking me and you.
She said she’d try it out on herself first. And if it worked, then she’d do it for me and let me become an alicorn too. So I unlocked the toolshed for her. And I gave her saw.
I even wished her luck.
“Spur?” Biscuit said, breaking the long silence that I had spent thinking to myself.
“Yeah?”
“Actually, I think…I can feel her in here too.”
“What d’ya mean?”
“Her spirit,” Biscuit said. “I can feel Cozy Glow’s spirit in here too. If I listen hard…I can almost hear her. Talkin’ to me and everythin’. It’s real spooky.”
“Maybe I’m not that crazy, huh?” I teased.
“Guess not,” Biscuit said.
Now…I had Biscuit. And I wasn’t alone anymore.
We got up from my sister’s bed and headed to my room, which is just across from the hall. Biscuit turned off the light, but he stopped at the doorway.
“Spur?”
“Yeah?”
“Do ya feel like you taught her how to be evil?”
I thought about the unicorn sawing incident. “Perhaps.”
“Not intentionally of course,” Biscuit quickly added.
“Right.”
“But maybe you enabled her evil actions.”
I do tell that to myself a lot.
But it sounds a million times worse when it’s coming from another pony.
I got mad. “Me!? Enabled her!?” I screamed.
“I’m just saying, Spur, I’m not tryin’ to judge ya, but—”
“Damn right you aren’t!” Every time some says they’re not mad, or they’re not trying to judge you, it means they actually are.
“Cozy must’ve picked up something from her upbringing. How else did she learn to torture other ponies like that?”
“She was born that way.” That’s what I’ve always told my classmates at school that ask. Doesn’t mean I think it’s true. It’s just easy to say. It’s one sentence. And they don’t ask any annoying followup questions so then they’ll go away and not bother me.
Biscuit scoffed a little. Staying up late always make you a little cocky. “You can’t be born evil. That’s crazy.”
I guess I was already ticked off that night when Biscuit asked me that therapist question. “Oh, so little foals can be born to love, but they can’t be born to hate!? What kinda logic is that!?”
“Logical or not, it’s true, a’int it!?”
“So now you’re sayin’ it’s my fault!?”
“No, what I’m sayin’ is…well…but…well, how else did she become the most evil pony in all of Equestria at the age of ten!?”
I was tearing up in the darkness. “OH, WOW, you think we’re so damn CLEVER!? You think, Ma, Pa, and I…you think we KNOW the reason!? You think, if we’d KNOWN the reason all along, you think we’d have been STUPID enough to let her get to that point!? HUH!?”
It was silent.
I heard Biscuit whimper once.
Only once.
I flew towards him and I hugged him. I hugged him so hard, he fell to the floor. I just kept apologizing and apologizing to him. “I’m sorry I yelled at you, Biscuit. I’m so so sorry.”
“I’m sorry too, I—”
I shushed him with my hoof. “My turn to apologize.”
I kissed him. Right in the lips. He didn’t even look that shocked. I think it was already after one o’clock, and we were both too exhausted to care. It was a chilly night and his body was warm and his lips were even warmer that that’s all that mattered.
We went into my bedroom. I had some candles lying around, so I lit them. To set the mood. Biscuit and I climbed into bed together. There’s plenty of space on my mattress, but we scooched in real close, and we cuddled each other.
Now I am fourteen. And I’ve known Biscuit for a long time. So it’s not like this came out of the blue or anythin’.
We slept together that night. Actually slept together. Which means...sleep, plus...other things.
“You comfy?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
We kissed again. I closed my eyes. And for a moment, again, all I saw was darkness. All I heard was silence. And when I opened my eyes, all I saw was my bed, the pillows, the sheets, and Biscuit.
“I’m very comfy,” I said.
Biscuit smiled. “You were very cute when you got mad like that just now.”
“You want me to do it again?” I suggested.
I should tell you the story of how I got my spur-shaped cutie mark. Actually, no. Actually…maybe some other time.
Well, that was unexpected...
9913412
The reason I put that in there is because her name is Spur, and her cutie mark is of a spur, a tool made to control a horse when riding...so it would not be unreasonable to think she was into that kind of thing.
It's honestly almost as questionable as the knot tying cutie mark in The Last Crusade.
There's like a dozen stories where Starlight compare her story to others. Each individual experience things different from the other. Good story though
Princess Twilight paid for a therapist to counsel me and the whole family. She appointed her personally. Starlight Glimmer, formerly the guidance counselor at the School of Friendship
*Really Twilight? Starlight Glimmer as the therapist for a grieving family? What type of drugs was she on when she did that!? I mean. It makes sense if Starlight was trying to help former villains... but really?
*Not only that, but how Starlight went about the whole counseling as well! I get comparing other people's events to your own, but that isn't really what was needed to help Spur. No wonder she stopped getting help for the... voices in her head.
*On a happier note. I'm soooo happy Spur has coltfriend/this story has a romance tag. I really like Spur. And I really want to be seeing her happy.
This is very interesting. It looks like both fillies have mental problems that aren't addressed. If Spur really does think she can hear Cozy's voice...yeah. She does need help. It just likely manifested in Cozy in a really, really bad way. I've read stories before where it's realized that there's not much 'mental health' help in equestria. Starlight Glimmer probably helped the best she could, but Spur needs an actual professional.
I want to hear how she got her cutiemark :P
9913464
How do spurs relate to incest...?
Also, thanks for reminding me that Skeedaddle doesn't have a tag here either.
Maybe ease up a little on Cozy Glow's post-mortem characterization? Here is where you pushed past fitting and hit a straight up comical degree of underaged scheming and schadenfreude. It completely shattered the tone, which I'm thinking is supposed to be more melancholy, judging by the rest of the chapter, yeah?
Also, why the hell did Spur just give Cozy a saw after she told her she was going to mutilate ponies with it? There's being nice to your sibling, and then there's that. Maybe she was enabling her.
Spur is lucky she had the mental fortitide to see what situation she was in, and even more so that she got out.
9913623
I'm pretty sure it's a joke about her being a dom, nothing to do with incest.
9913740
Yes that is correct.
9913692
By post-mortem characterization do you mean like the little flashbacks? Maybe I did overdo those.
As for the unicorn saw incident, I wanted to make it more ambiguous as to whether you should like Spur or not. Spur's by no means a perfect pony and she has plenty of faults. I'm not saying my characterization is perfect, but hay...it is what it is and I gotta work with what I've already published...
9913525
You wouldn't believe some of the therapists I've seen.
Spur's experience with Starlight Glimmer was somewhat based off my own experiences with therapists. Almost entirely negative.
9913772
I was referring to the tradition she started about the salad. Like, was she eating it just to force her family to eat it and be miserable, or did she genuinely like the stuff? Either way it's ridiculous.
9913804
Spur noted that Cozy Glow would gobble up the plate of salad very quickly, and you can't really fake liking a certain food. So yeah, she actually liked it.
9913804
I'm sorry you didn't like it. Whenever I fuck up something in a chapter I've already published, I just try to work around it and make a "smooth recovery" in the next chapter. If that helps.
Starlight: I’m sorry, Spur, but we have to cancel your visits..
Spur: You don’t listen, do you?
A story where Cozy Glow has a sister where she views every pony as a monster
Good work mate.
So far this is an amazing story and I am looking forward to seeing how spurs mental state changes as time goes on. Can't wait 👍
I just got around to reading this and... wow. I'm blown away by how good this is. Keep it up!
... But why make the salad? Literally nopony but Cozy likes it.
And yeah, the horn-sawing incident definitely speaks of enabling behavior and some issues on Spur's part. Isolation is one thing. "Have fun mutilating the peasants" is quite another.
Even so, Spur definitely needs help she isn't getting, even from alleged professionals. (Pretty sure Starlight doesn't have a psych degree... though it certainly would've helped with the cult formation.) Here's hoping Biscuit can keep her on the level enough to not do something regrettable.
9913804
That's funny, because I highlighted that exact section when I was reading the chapter as one of my favorite small scenes in the story so far.
It makes me almost feel fond for the little psychopath.
9914918
Thank you!
She didn't say anything vocally, how does he know she's talking to someone?
9914296
"I only have... Cozy thoughts..."
Huh... I thought Cozy Glow had a brother named Snug Light.
Oh well this works too.
9922363
Really? Where is Snug Light mentioned?
9922964
clearly an unreliable source.
Some arrogant little nobody on DeviantArt
9923891
Well, I mean it could just be a fan-created character. Nothing wrong with that.
9924214
Bah humbug.
9931192
It's okay you don't have to like my stuff. I'm just glad you read it and commented about it. Like my profile says, the only reason why I write sad shit is cause when I try to write happy shit it's...sad. Just sad.
Hope your cat gets better.
9913464
Micah does a sincerely compelling job portraying why Starlight would be an ineffectual counselor for Spur, despite her intelligence and good intentions. SO well, I'm not sure why it was written for Starlight to be the pick anyway. Is the implication supposed to be that Twilight wanted Starlight to probe if Spur was just as crazy?
9914949
Yeah starlight isn’t trained which is kind of odd to hire someone wirh bo actual counselling skills. I mean sure she has good empathy but that’s about it
I found it funny how first she says
And then she says
Her shifting comfort with talking about it is pretty adorable.
The sad thing is that if Starlight and Twilight had put half as much effort in talking to Cozy as Starlight is putting in this charade, the family counseling probably wouldn't have been needed to begin with.
Before everyone starts up on starlight how would you feel if you had to give therapy to the family of a 10 year old sociopath who was not even given a Reformation chance and was literally broken down into dust.
10268331
It at least feels like the school's cirriculum was the manner that they'd have gone about reforming, so in keeping them like that, they were trying to set in course a new nation that could have a far better chance at reform
A little criticism, I'll try not to be too harsh.
I'm not going to bullshit you, you're a good writer, I just hate your characters.
Spur's actions are too sudden, no build up or expression shown, simple fix.
Spur's parents are obviously scared of her, but also oddly dismissive, could be wrong so please correct me if I am. Further info needed for critique.
Romance and foreshadowing of her cutie mark seem tacked on hastily. She seemed excited to explain it, if the mark has something to do implied noncon then shame shame or uneasiness would've been more appropriate. Again more info needed for critique.
I like Biscuit, maybe don't use him as much of a punching bag, it makes the main character look horrible.
Twilight and Starlight do seem mostly in character, besides the crushing of Cozy of course. Nice to see.
Overall I'd want to see biscuit be the friend who takes her mind of things. Hopefully things go a fair bit slower than they have.
I want to like this story a lot, but it's difficult. I want to like spur, but I'm seeing development.
Hope I wasn't too harsh on you, cheers mate.