The One
For a long time, I thought that Biscuit was “the One.”
I’ll tell you about the first time I thought Biscuit was the One. It was before he and I really met. Almost two years ago, maybe. Cozy had just gone off to the School of Friendship in Ponyville, and back then, Ma and Pa and I had done a good job keeping her secrets inside the four walls of our house.
Since all the foals in the bayou go to the same school, I knew Biscuit, and he knew me. We knew we existed.
But he hung out with his crowd, and I hung out…with my crowd.
Gosh, I didn’t realize that until now. I had friends back then. Before the news spread about Cozy gettin’ sent to Tartarus. I had friends.
I don’t remember their names. I don’t remember anything. The part in my head where I’m supposed to remember them…feels like there’s a scar there.
But anyway, that year, it happened that I didn’t have a date for the school dance, and neither did Biscuit. So he asked me out, and I said yes, so then we both had a date for the dance and then we could go.
It wasn’t cause we were friends or anything.
I couldn’t dance for the life of me, and since Biscuit took dance lessons and all, I remember that night, he came to my house and he taught me a few dance moves before we went. It was the most awkward thing, ‘cause at that time we’d barely even said a sentence to each other. He gave me a bunch of roses ‘cause that’s what you’re supposed to do to be all gentleman-like to yer date. He gave me a little smile, and he said in an unbroken voice, “Howdy, Spur.” And we practiced dancing in the living room, to this cheesy music with a real strong beat so that I wouldn’t mess up.
Bam. Bam. Bam. Step. Step. Step. Right on it.
Cozy was comin’ home for the school holiday in a few days. Ma was gettin’ things ready for her return, laying out her stuff in the living room in this weird pyramid shape. I have no idea why she did that. It was like the first thing you see when you open the door and walk in is that queer-shaped pyramid of all of Cozy’s things.
And it was a tall pyramid. Not a very steady pyramid, so one little wrong step and you might knock a few things off. I remember, Biscuit was teaching me the foxtrot—at one quarter speed—and I’d almost gotten it, so I thought, but then I tripped over and fell on one of Cozy’s hair curlers that was part of the pyramid.
Damn, I hated those hair curlers. Hideous color. Cozy had the perfect sky blue mane color, and then she picks the worst traffic-cone-orange hair curlers to go with ‘em. They’re bright. Almost fluorescent. And you stare at them, and your eyes start watering, even if you a’int sad. And wherever it rolls off to, your eyes follow. And if it goes too far (and you a’int a unicorn), you run off and try to pick it up, but the room’s so big and the curler’s so small, so you run forever and ever until your head hits the wall.
It hypnotizes you.
At the time, Cozy hadn’t even gone to Tartarus yet, so I didn’t hear no voices. But I remember, after I tripped over her hair curler, I just sat there, on the floor, bawling my eyes out. Not sure how old I thought I was.
Biscuit, bein’ the kind gentleman he had to be, stretched out his hoof, and he said, “It’s all right, Spur. You’re dancing just fine. I could’ve tripped over that curler too.”
“You really think so?”
“Sure, it was right next to me. I could’ve fallen. Just like you.”
And I remember looking up into his eyes, and seeing his smile and his outstretched hoof, and I felt like in less than an hour, he knew more about my sister than I did.
He helped me stand back up, and we didn’t start dancing just yet. There was a silence for a while. The hair curler was still rolling on the floor. And Biscuit was following it with his eyes. Just like me. Funny thing, I wasn’t even surprised that he was so entranced by Cozy—Cozy’s hair curler.
“Gosh, it’s bright, a’int it?” he said. “That orange.”
“It is.”
Then Ma came in, and picked up the hair curler as she was sweeping the floor. And she didn’t even flinch. “What you two starin’ for like that?” she said. And Biscuit was the first to snap out of it, and he said, “Oh, nothin’ ma’am.”
I don’t think I stopped staring. Even after Ma put the hair curler back into the drawer, three weeks later when the holiday ended and Cozy went back to Ponyville.
Biscuit…never heard the voices. He pretended to, but he didn’t really. He never saw my sister’s face on the back of his eyelids. Cozy watched him, sure. She looked down…or up…from wherever she is now, and she watched him. Maybe even whispered half a word to him. But she never went into his head.
And that’s why he a’int “the One.” And since he’s dead, no use fantasizing he is “the One.”
He liked it. That’s what I don’t get. If Cozy didn’t get to his head, why didn’t he stop Cozy from gettin’ to my head?
I hit him, and he just told me to keep going. And he smiled when I hit him, or least I really wanted to see it like it was a smile. Huh. Maybe he never liked it to begin with. Maybe he never smiled. Maybe it was just a little nervous chuckle that my eyes turned into laughter. And his eyes rolling back when I hit him…that was him leanin’ his head back for air. And when he screamed “OOHH!” it was really “OUCH!”
Mind control does that to ya.
No. That can’t explain it all, though. All the things he said to me, I’m pretty damn sure were the words he actually said. How do I hear “I can almost hear her spirit” if it’s actually “I could never hear her speak”? Impossible. Biscuit…he understood me. He really did. He could’ve been “the One.” I wish he were “the One.” A pretty sexy One. A sweet One. The One, that stretched out his hoof when Cozy’s hair curler tripped me up—and he pulled me back up to standing. And we danced real well that night, actually. I forgot to tell y’all that.
I mean, that’s just the one thing that Cozy would make me do. Heck, if I were Cozy, and I was controllin’ Spur’s mind, that’s what I’d do. Make me kill the one pony who was gonna set me free.
“The One.”
But the real reason why I know that Biscuit a’int “the One” is cause now I know who is. It’s the purple alicorn princess with the golden crown. She’s the One.
I have to settle for Her Majesty. Instead of Biscuit.
“Her Majesty will see you now.”
I pulled down the opaque hair cap that Nurse Nightingale had given me, and I stepped into the Reading Room of the Canterlot Castle.
I’ll tell you this, she sure didn’t look like a royal princess. Sure, she had the crown and her royal shoes, but the rest of her body was all covered in dirt and…hayburger sauce, I think?
Her “reading room” was more like a dump. It was filled with open books and papers all over the tables and floor. There was a rolling bulletin board with push-pin holes everywhere. There were bookshelves with rolling whiteboard walls, all covered in notes and doodles.
I saw the guards roll their eyes when they looked in, but Princess Twilight can’t always have been like this. I remember in those books about Princess Twilight that I read to the foals, there were photos of her library. Thousands of books, nicely sorted in alphabetical order and subject. Princess Twilight prided herself in her organization skills. It’s how she has become the efficient ruler that she is today.
Even the Princess’s mane didn’t look “efficient.” Hair was stickin’ out in all directions, almost like a big, poofy, curly bird’s nest. Her eyes were bugged out, looking at her notes on the board. She threw some papers in the air and didn’t even read them.
She didn’t look like herself. She looked more like…more like…more like me, I guess. Like the me that I must’ve looked like to everypony else: crumpled up into a ball, thrown into the nuthouse, then chewed up and spit out.
“Princess Twilight.” I knelt. Just. My head started splitting as I neared the ground.
“Spur. Good to see you,” she said. Or at least I think she said that. Her volume was all over the place. “I…I’m sorry I didn’t schedule this appointment sooner with you and your family. With all my royal duties…I haven’t had the time.”
Princess Twilight’s back was turned to me. I could see what she was lookin’ at, on the bulletin board. There were three pictures of my sister. One of them of her smiling. One of them of her as an alicorn. One of them of her petrified. And they were all surrounded by index cards with notes scribbled in slanted lines. Judging by the bags in the Princess’s eyes, I’m pretty sure she’d been looking at those photos for weeks.
“You haven’t had time for what?” I asked.
“For…for you. No, no, for…me. No, no, erm…” then she didn’t finish her sentence. She still was lookin’ at those photos. Mostly at the picture of my sister smiling. That one had a gloss to it.
Silence for a few minutes.
“Princess?” I asked. “I…I hope I’m not takin’ up your time…”
Princess Twilight shook her head, with her jaw loose. “Oh goodness! Where are my manners? Take a seat, Spur. Let me just finish, erm…this thing that I’m doing and…then we can chat.”
I sat down at the table, filled with open textbooks. And more little photos of my sister. Finally, Princess Twilight turned away from the bulletin board. She blinked a few times. She sat in the chair right next to me.
“Why do you keep lookin’ at photos of Cozy Glow?” I asked.
“Oh, I…I haven’t looking at them all day,” the Princess said, without that Royal accent in her voice. “Only for the past hour.”
“The past hour? I thought the guard said you were in a meeting.”
“I…I forgot to go,” she mumbled.
She forgot her meeting. That doesn’t happen too often, does it? I tried to remember if I read anything about that in that picture book. I don’t think so.
“I. Erm. Well.” The Princess took a deep breath. “Spur, I…I heard from Starlight that you cancelled therapy with her. What happened?”
“Oh, I just…I didn’t really get much out of my sessions with her. She talked about…unrelated things. It was like…she didn’t understand me.”
“Starlight is an excellent therapist, but sometimes…” she paused. “Sometimes it’s impossible to understand the struggles somepony goes through without going through it yourself. Did you want to reschedule with somepony else?”
“Erm…” I smiled for Her Majesty. “…thank you, Princess. But that’s not why I’m here.”
Don’t do it.
Don’t do it!
I didn’t listen. She couldn’t stop me, even if she wanted to. I’d made it so far.
I crumpled up the hair cap and I threw it on the floor. My curls got pulled, and they bounced up and down a few times.
“Princess Twilight…I committed a crime.”
“…and even after I threw their bodies down the river, Cozy’s voice still just keeps talkin’ to me, in my head. Even right up until today, when I came to see you…Your Majesty.” I finished my story.
Princess Twilight had already started crying.
“I…I’m sorry, Princess!”
Princess Twilight stood up from her chair and walked in a circle around the room. She was looking down at the floor. Silent. I could hear her heavy breathing.
I looked at the mess of books in the room to distract myself. Heck, she’s the Ruler of Equestria, she can do anything she wants to me. I thought, maybe she’ll send me to a rehabilitation camp. Where they’ll monitor my activities and strap me down to a table while powerful unicorns try to exorcise the voice from my head.
Or, maybe she’ll send me to Tartarus. I guess that won’t be so bad. My sister did all right there. I mean, readin’ her letters…she was her usual, evil self. Maybe I’ll get petrified. That’s not so…
“P-Princess Twilight? How much trouble am I in? Am I…am I just like my sister? I am, a’int I? I am, right? Are you gonna turn me to stone, too?”
She still hadn’t said anything. I kept thinking up more things. Maybe she’ll publicly execute me, and sterilize Ma and Pa. Stop the rot. Maybe she’ll zap me into Limbo, and make everypony forget it ever happened.
“I…I’m real real sorry, Princess Twilight. For what it’s worth. Maybe you don’t understand, these voices I hear, and what it does to me, but I—”
“No,” she finally said something. “I do. I do understand, Spur.” She looked up from the ground, and I saw…she had a gentle smile on her face.
Cozy smiled like that once. I remember because it was the only time she smiled like that. We were on the kayak together, and we’d gotten stuck in some brambles in a shallow part of the swamp.
A wild timberwolf was comin’ for us. The kayak was stuck. And the forest was too thick to fly up. And the timberwolf roared so loud, it unwrapped the curls in our manes. And we were huggin’ each other real tight as the timberwolf charged, and I blurted out, “I love you, Cozy!”
Cozy smiled at me. Like she understood.
Luckily, the timberwolf didn’t hurt us and we never saw it again.
And I never saw that gentle smile again, either.
The Princess had that same gentle smile on her face. “Spur, you…your story has put my mind so much at peace.”
I stopped blinking, to make sure I wasn’t still daydreaming. “W-what did you say!?”
I saw the Princess walk back to the bulletin board, with Cozy’s photos on it. I could hear her alicorn lungs panting. Her eyes bugged out even more, and one of the hairs in her mane popped out into a little curl. I’ll bet that’s how I looked to Nurse Nightingale in the exam room.
The Princess stumbled forward while she tried to get a closer look. She took a wrong step, and she crumpled one of the pages in her precious book, with the pointy end of her metal shoe.
And that’s when I realized.
“You hear the voices too, don’t you?” I said.
She paused. She looked down at the crinkled page of the book, like she’d done somethin’ awful.
“And her face.” The Princess teared up. She started sobbing like crazy, actually. “Those curls. Staring at me—”
“—and smiling at ya,” I finished her sentence.
She wiped her eyes with the torn book page. “I tried every spell documented in my library. Exorcism spells, friendship spells, cleansing spells. None of them worked. I tried other ways to get rid of her, but it—”
“That’s why you turned my sister to gravel.”
The Princess’s breath was shaking worse than mine. “I’m…I’m sorry. I wish I told the truth sooner.”
And then there I was, fifteen year filly from the bayou in Hayseed Junction, hugging the Ruler of Equestria while we both bawled our eyes out on the marble floor of the castle. Her hoof, without her golden shoe, touching my back. My hoof, rubbing against her back. I was so close to her, I could smell the tears mixed with the gold of her crown. Ma and Pa wouldn’t have believed it if I told ‘em.
Heck, I’m not sure I believe it myself.
But I dunno why I was cryin’ with her, really. I hate secrets. I know, because I’ve kept a bunch. And I hate every one I’ve kept. What kind of Princess keeps a secret like that, and not tell even her Harmony gang and Ms. Glimmer? A Princess of Friendship? Even if, even if, her whole day is a waking nightmare, where Cozy’s sittin’ in her cage, twiddling with a little remote control, and she says,
You better not tell, Princess. Golly, what sort of a ruler would you be if word got out that you, the most powerful pony in Equestria, succumbed to such a simple mind control spell?
What does that make you? A useless unicorn, snout in a book.
Cause that’s what you really are, isn’t it?
It shows, you know.
It really shows. You think you’re so good at Friendship, but really it’s just a mental exercise for you, isn’t it? A protocol to be studied in a book. A logical puzzle with others’ emotions.
Golly, I wish we were friends. Cause…we’re not that unlike each other…are we, Princess?
I heard it all. Princess Twilight pulled my ear closer to hers. And I listened.
Yeah, that’s pretty damn scary.
Y'know, the worst secret is the kind of secret that nopony knows. Nopony knows it, cause they don’t even believe it. Hearing voices. An evil foal wriggling outta their stone prison and slipping into your ears. Why don’t they believe it? Cause they’re scared of it? They’re scared of the voices? The pain?
Was Biscuit scared? Maybe he was. Maybe he let me hit him cause he was too scared.
He shouldn’t have kept that a secret. He should’ve talked to me. Damn him.
Yeah. That’s why Biscuit a’int “the One.” He kept secrets. And secrets a’int good.
The Princess let go from our hug. She wiped her tears and cleared her throat.
“Spur…I can’t overlook the crimes you have committed. You’ll have to atone for them, one way or another. But…now’s not the time for that. I read Nurse Nightingale’s medical report. You need rest. We both need rest. How would you like to stay here for a few weeks?”
“Thank you, your Highness.” This time when I knelt, it didn’t hurt.
She pushed my chin up. “Please, call me Twilight.”
“Twilight, am I…am I gonna be like one of your students? Kinda like Ms. Glimmer was?”
Princess Twilight smiled and shook her head. “No. I’m not asking you to be my student. I’m asking you to be my friend.”
The next few hours, I felt like I had woken up from a dream.
Not a dream, really. I was awake. And even when I was asleep, most of the time I didn’t feel like I had rested.
I actually napped on a pile of Twilight’s books for three solid hours. Then when I woke up, I was suddenly really hungry. I had some leftover raw onion grass from earlier that day, I took one bite, and I don’t remember where I put the rest of it. I must’ve thrown it away or something. I forgot.
Twilight ordered some dinner sent up to the room. For a princess who lives in a fancy castle, she really loves her hayburgers. They’re pretty good (I’m pretty sure they give her extra toppings since she’s the Princess), but they a’int my favorite.
I kinda miss Ma’s cooking actually. Her peach cobbler, her green bean casserole, her beignets dusted in sugar.
First time I’ve missed home in fifteen years.
Twilight lit a fire in her room when outside got to, well, twilight. And then she started reorganizing her books with her bare hooves. I did the “A-F” books, since they were on high shelves.
Fear: The Anathema of Friendship was the last book I had to put on the shelf. I flipped through a few pages of it, and I probably sucked in a couple pounds of dust. It hadn’t been touched in a while.
I don’t need the book, really. I think I understand fear. It a’int living your worst nightmare. It’s almost living your worst nightmare. Fear is when you’re close enough to your worst nightmare that you can see it, at the bottom of the pit. And then when the fear gets bigger, you slowly fall deep, deep, deep, closer to it. And the fear is you wondering when you’re gonna hit it.
Unless somepony’s in the pit with you. And you pull each other up.
Actually, I never even asked my sister if she heard any voices. I only started hearing the voice after Cozy got turned to gravel, so…I had no reason to ask her. Yeah. I wonder if my sister heard the voices. And nopony came to pull her up.
Damn.
That changes everything, doesn’t it?
I finished shelving the last book in the room. I took longer than I should have. I guess I didn’t want the night to end—it was almost 3am. Twilight escorted me to one of the guest rooms in the castle.
Before I went to bed, I asked her. “Twilight…who did you kill?”
She looked round. The hallway was empty. “Almost killed. And it was…”
And that’s the last secret I’m ever gonna keep. From then on, I swore to myself, I a’int gonna tell any secret to anypony. No more.
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Well... that went in a radically different direction than I guessed it would.
Wait, Twilight killed somepony? What!?
Wow. Not the direction I was expecting. It kinda makes it less tragic. She’s not crazy.
I'm... not sure I like this turn. You took Spur's internal conflict, the crux of the story, a gut-wrenching portrayal of the inner self desperately holding together as the world tries to tear it apart at the seams... and made it into an external one, against a literal lingering remnant of Cozy Glow. On the other hand, sharing the burden with another in the same position is a thematically appropriate solution to pull her back from the brink, regardless of the conflict's source, representing a level of empathy never tackled by the show itself. Like Sunset and Twi/Midnight in Friendship Games turned up to eleven. I suppose I'll reserve judgement until the ending proper.
10392026
Almost
That's.. quite the reveal. So it's actually directly Cozy's fault.
Yet, I can't quite decide if that makes the whole story less or even more scary for me now.
10392346
It might not even be Cozy, she might have also been in the same position that Spur and Twilight is in now
So she didn't kill Cozy! Or... is it something else?
Excellent chapter,
I am Spur. I'm a fourteen-year-old teenage filly who lives on the bayou with my Ma and Pa. Most of you know me because of my little sister.
My little sister was Cozy Glow. One of the most reviled villains in Equestrian history.
This isn't exactly a story summary.
Totally different of what I was expecting from the meeting with Twilight and I loved it.
Things just went from bad to worse, it seems... And I can now safely say that Biscuit is dead...
I remember seeing this a few months ago before I had an account for this website, I guess it’s time I give it a read.
I think I like this direction. Some people may argue that it trivializes the preceding story by turning her fractured metal state (and possible schizophrenic/sociopathic disorder) into just another magical semi-possession, but, honestly? I can't see any other way which she could possibly have a Good End. And after such intense darkness, can't we allow a little light at the end of the tunnel?
10405948
Yeah that's kinda what happened lol.
Thanks for having faith in me.
10392163
10392346
10405948
I really like this reveal. It represents the guilt that has been torturing Twilight Sparkle as well. Even before the execution. Like Spur, Twilight is wondering if she could’ve stopped Cozy from choosing her dark path, and if she did anything to enable the subsequent death and destruction. Because not only is Twilight supposed to be the Princess of Friendship, Cozy was her star student. Cozy is Twilight’s greatest failure, as she sees it, and I rarely ever see stories acknowledge that connection.
Something else I really like is that it’s now confirmed that the Cozy’s ‘dialogue’ was actually occurring. I’ve often found that when doing a mentally ill POV, writers will use the trope of an unreliable narrator to have unclear, overly abstract prose. This story didn’t reach that frustrating low point, but I’m glad something as specific as a voice is being cemented.
Also, since a magic spell is actually something Twilight can easily diagnose, and even empathize with, it means that Spur has an officially recognized extenuating circumstance that will stop her from being sealed in stone or Tartarus.
10393405
I interpreted as Twilight thinking she had to kill Spur. But Spur unknowingly stopped her in the nick of time.
I'm glad to see more of this story again. Keep up the great work!
Holy shit, what just happened? I mean, I know what, but what the hell? Two dead, including Spur's greatest love and friend, and they're jut, poof, inconsequential... Also, when's the next chapter?
10524217
that's a good question
10524473
Crap...
So, Spur and Twilight both got off incredibly easy here. There's more of a dystopian confirmation to Twilight's actions. Yes, Cozy was a malicious ghost but she was also the ghost of a petrified and severely fucked up kid going up against a demigod-like entity. Spur has been able to shelve books as community service for... murdering somepony. This doesn't appear to be a story where justice is done, but I do at least think that the twist of Cozy being a lingering fragment creates a very fascinating interplay between magic and mental illness that is very realistic in Equestria.
10592234
so just like canon equestria, where the heroes get away with crimes because of nepotism and other factors.
Pokes with a stick
Is next chapter coming soon?
This is genuinely one of my favorite stories on this whole website, I'm so glad it got a new chapter!!