• Member Since 3rd Sep, 2018
  • offline last seen May 9th

Ecky the Writer


Hi. I mostly write First Person fanfics, if I ever decide to write more.

E

When Rarity falls ill mid-winter, Twilight tries her best to cure Rarity. Twilight tries multiple times to help her sick friend but Rarity persists. Sometimes said sick pony doesn't want to cooperate. Sometimes feelings develop between intertwined colours.

An entry for Monochromatic's RariTwi Bomb.

Check out the latest created fic here.

Enjoy.

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 6 )

Great job on your first story! That was pretty cute, though I think Twilight should have been more concerned about getting infected herself, lol. You did a good job shifting perspectives with repeated lines but with different tones.

For a first story it was really well done. I liked how you jumped between the different perspectives of Rarity and Twilight. However I was knocked out of the story a little when you jumped back into third person every so often. Keeping with the first perspective of the two leads would have made it flow better.
Other than that, really good first story.

I did have in my head an ending where after their first kiss they end up both sick in bed from Rarity giving Twilight her cold. :pinkiehappy:

9886090
I agree, the third person in the end I think makes sense, but the other jumps to 3rd person threw me off a bit. But this was fantastic for a first story

And then there's the sequel where we find out that Twilight caught the flu from Rarity and the roles become reversed.

For a first story this is good! I've read many a story that could learn a thing or two from this one. The absolute best thing (for me) about this fic can be summed up in one word: Rarity. The way you wrote her felt very... Rarity. The part that starts with "Twilight was in" was the part I liked the least, it just felt a bit... weird. Not bad per se, just a bit out of tone with the rest of the story.

I am aware of the author note so I hope this doesn't come off as too critical. In short, if your goal was just to write some cute fluff, then consider it a success.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!