• Published 5th Oct 2019
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Six Mean Ponies - Tangerine Blast



When Mean Twilight's plan goes sideways she has to balance keeping her sisters in line and discovering what she actually wants out of life

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...and one nice one

“And then we all grew super-long manes with all kinds of colors, and your castle grew out of the ground, and everypony was like, ‘Whoa!’ And then we sang this song about rainbows, and-”

Twilight Sparkle, or a clone of her at the very least, was not having a good day. It was the first day of her life and already the worst day of her life.

She had been created by a lunatic, surrounded by idiots that couldn’t manage themselves out of a grocery store, and was now having her ear talked off by one of those very same idiots. Who, when Twilight had asked how she knew where they were going, had delved into a rapid-fire recap that was sure to rupture Twilight’s eardrums.

The only thing keeping her from burning this entire forest down in frustration was the thought of finding the Elements of Harmony, getting unlimited power, and the sweet sweet revenge she’d enact on anyone that even tried to annoy her.

“Hey Twilight, why did you need directions to the Tree of Harmony, anyway?” The annoyance by her side finally asked.

‘Twilight’ rolled her eyes. “Are you really that scatterbrained? We’re going to collect those elements so we can take our freedom by force.”

Pinkie blinked at her. Twilight was grateful for the moment of silence it brought, even if it came at the price of stopping in their tracks. “Take our what? What do we need to be free from? Your checklist?”

Twilight scoffed. “Maybe from the witch that’s trying to force us to do her dirty work? Do you pay attention to anything? Or are you always just in your little la la land?”

Pinkie stared at her for a long enough time that Twilight was briefly concerned she had fallen asleep with her eyes open. Eventually, the pink pony spoke again. But this time in a slow voice, suspicious voice as she took a step back. “You aren’t…”

“There you two are!”

Both ponies’ heads snapped around as Queen Chrysalis came crashing through the trees. Twilight had to fight back the urge to facehoof. If they hadn’t spent time chatting she could have already had the Elements in her grasp! Instead, she could only sneer as her creator started ranting.

“I could take care of an entire hive but apparently I can’t keep track of six idiotic clones! Now if you don’t stay by my side until we reach the Elements I’m going to…”

She trailed off as her eyes drifted over Pinkie and froze there, growing wider by the moment. While Twilight was annoyed and bored with this one-sided conversation, the other pony actually looked frightened by the Queen and took a couple of trembling steps back as she and the changeling stared into each other’s eyes. Neither daring to blink.

Twilight glanced between the two, not enjoying the confusion she was feeling. She prided herself on her ability to see and understand more than others. But she couldn’t even guess to what was happening as Chrysalis’s face morphed from shock to pure rage.

You!” She seethed, baring her fangs.

Pinkie bolted. The Earth Pony twisted on the spot so fast Twilight was sure she should have torn a tendon. She didn’t get more than a step, however, before being surrounded by a sickly green glow and lifted to Chrysalis' eye level.

“So,” the Queen sneered, watching the pink pony squirm within her grip, “You think you could infiltrate my plan? Think you could outsmart me?”

“What are you even doing here?” Pinkie yelled back, her hooves kicking helplessly at the magic around her, “Didn’t you learn from last tiHRMM!”

Chrysalis’ magic clamped around the pony’s muzzle, pressing hard enough to cause involuntary tears to spring to Pinkie’s eyes. “Oh no you don’t. I don’t want to hear another peep out of you for the rest of my life.”

“What is going on here?” ‘Twilight’ interrupted, stomping her hoof to get the Queen’s attention. She hated admitting she was confused but what was happening in front of her didn’t make any sense.

“Oh dear child,” Chrysalis cooed condescendingly, looking far too happy with herself, “I’m afraid you’ve been tricked. This is not one of your fellow clones at all but the original instead. Here to ruin my plans.”

Pinkie’s eyes widened in sync with Twilight’s. They looked back and forth between each other and Twilight mentally kicked herself for not seeing it sooner. Of course that’s how she knew where the Elements were! Of course that’s why she was acting so weird. Ugh, Twilight was so stupid!

“And I think,” Chrysalis continued, twisting slightly with her magic, causing Pinkie to whimper through her gag, “that I may take you up on your original idea, my minion. Why don’t I just take my revenge right now?”

Her magic glowed brighter and Pinkie’s whimper turned into a muffled scream.

Twilight’s ears flattened at the sound. It wasn’t particularly loud, per se, but the pain that laced it hurt just to listen to. She mentally patted herself on the back for actually understanding what that stupid Queen wanted even before she did herself. This was the best choice to get what Chrysalis wanted. The logical decision. The…

Pinkie was staring at her. She was writhing in pain as the sickly green magic pressed and twisted her body but her baby blue eyes remained fixed on Twilight’s face. Sorrowful and pleading.

But what did Twilight care? It’s not like she didn’t have a spare ‘Pinkie’ wandering around somewhere in this forest. And it’s not like she had any reason to care about what happened to this pony. By all logical reasoning--this was one of her enemies.

Pained. Begging.

There was absolutely no reason she shouldn’t just let Chrysalis kill…

Oh, buck her stupid day-old heart.

Before she could stop herself Twilight’s horn flared to life and released a beam of pure purple energy into Chrysalis’s side. She expected to simply knock her off her hooves but, to Twilight’s awe, the Changeling Queen was launched into the air and out of sight with little more than a surprised shriek.

The green magic around Pinkie winked out but, before she could drop to the forest floor, was replaced by a gentle purple sheen.

Twilight didn’t even pause to celebrate her easy victory before turning on her heel and running in the opposite direction the Queen had vanished, trailing Pinkie behind her like a balloon on a string.

“You know,” she panted to the probably-unconscious Earth Pony, “I’m only doing this… because you’re an asset to me.” A branch whacked her in the face, splitting her lip. “No other reason!”

The next moment she burst through the trees and into a small clearing. She breathed a sigh of relief as the annoying branches were replaced by the familiar faces of her fellow clones.

“Girls!” She cried happily, moments before tripping on a lingering root and falling flat on her face. Her magic winked out as her horn met the ground, dropping her floating passenger in a heap a few feet in front of her.

She briefly wondered, snout pressed firmly in the dirt, if she had made a tactical error. After all, she hadn’t known the difference between her ‘Pinkie’ and the original. Who was to say these weren’t the Element Bearers themselves? Seconds away from melting her back into a wooden lump?

“Uh oh,” Came ‘Fluttershy’s’ mocking voice, “Looks like someone didn’t have a nice trip.”

The rest of the ponies erupted into cruel laughter. At least the mystery of their identities was solved.

Twilight groaned in frustration and peeled her face off the ground. “Where have you idiots been?” She didn’t actually care, as long as they were here now, she just wanted to yell at them for something.

“Why, we found the Elements a’ Harmony and took down Chrysalis by ourselves,” ‘Applejack’ confidently told her, looking quite proud of herself, “Then we tossed em in Rarity’s junk pile.”

“And no one can have them!” Rarity hissed, clutching a bag full of… camping gear? Where did she even get that?

Still snickering, Fluttershy added on to the story. “It’s true. Turns out we didn’t need you after…”

She trailed off as she finally noticed the other pony Twilight had brought with her, still lying unmoving on the ground.

“What. The. Buck!” Fluttershy shouted, flying over to the prone pony and examining her intensely. “What in the world did you do to this pony?”

Twilight huffed and climbed to her hooves, her nose throbbed but she dutifully ignored it. “Well, since you asked so nicely. I guess I’ll inform you that I just blasted Chrysalis in the face to save her.” She relished their shocked looks for just a moment. “She’s going to show us the way to the Elements of Harmony but we need to go now.”

“Oh, she isn’t going anywhere,” Fluttershy snapped, whirling on Twilight with such ferocity that the Alicorn actually stumbled back a few steps. “She’s got scrapes and bruises for days, sprained muscles that I didn’t think could be sprained, and I’m pretty sure some of her ribs are cracked.”

“‘M fine…” Came a mumbled response from the downed pony. Pinkie slowly got her hooves under her and lifted herself into a sitting position. Pain twisted her face even as she tried to hide it with a mask of determination. “Twilight-clone is right. We really have to go find my friends before Chrysalis catches up.”

“No!” Twilight and Fluttershy snapped at the same time.

Twilight talked over her because, darn it, she was in charge here. “We are not going to turn ourselves into your silly little friends just so they can do away with us and Chrysalis. We’re going to get the Elements and deal with this ourselves.”

“Oh no, I am not allowing this,” Fluttershy snapped back, “she needs to heal, not go spelunking in the woods!”

“I’m fine,” Pinkie insisted, rising to her hooves, “I can-”

Fluttershy turned to her with a glare so hot it could curdle milk. “Sit down!”

Pinkie instantly dropped to her stomach, eyes wide.

“Oh yes, great idea,” Twilight snarked, “I’m sure we’ll all be healthy and happy when Chrysalis finds us and finishes the job.”

Fluttershy turned back to her, the same unnerving stare on her face, but Twilight wouldn’t be cowed so easily. The two held each other’s gaze for a few tense seconds before Fluttershy turned away with a huff.

“Fine,” she growled, “but she’s still not walking anywhere. Applejack, carry her.”

“Well, Ah… ah would,” Applejack explained rolling her shoulder and giving an over-exaggerated wince, “but ah think ah pulled somethin’ a little while ago and-”

Fine,” Fluttershy cut her off, “Rarity, you do it.”

“What?” Rarity whined, “But then how will I carry all my new things?” She stroked her heap of camping supplies possessively. “I’m not letting anyone else handle it.”

Fluttershy growled low and deep.

“This is stupid! I’ll just carry her.” Twilight’s magic surrounded Pinkie Pie yet again and securely settled her on her back. The Earth Pony, wisely, didn’t protest further with either Fluttershy or Twilight. She seemed to have finally realized doing what they said was the best course of action for everyone.

The clone Pinkie looked curiously at her counterpart perched on Twilight’s back. “Can someone carry me there?”

Twilight gave her a flat look. “That depends. Do you want to crack your ribs too?” Her horn glowed dangerously. “Because I can make that happen.”

‘Pinkie’ frowned and looked away--muttering some insult under her breath that Twilight couldn’t be bothered to acknowledge.

The Alicorn shifted her back, making sure her passenger wouldn’t fall off, and turned her head to look over her shoulder. “Alright, which way to the Elements?”

Pinkie glanced around, most likely trying to get her bearings after their brief sprint through the trees. Then she closed her eyes tight and tensed up, becoming still for a good few seconds. Just as Twilight was about to repeat her question, the pink pony jerked and sucked in a breath between her teeth as the movement irritated her wounds.

Twilight raised a brow. Odd.

She didn’t get to ask about the strange behavior as Pinkie lifted her hoof and confidently pointed in, what to Twilight, looked like a random direction. “That way!”

With no better options, Twilight set off down the indicated path. “You better not be lying…” She muttered, “I can do a lot worse than Chrysalis, trust me.”

Her passenger had the audacity to giggle. “You know, I think I do, actually.”

Twilight frowned, annoyance creeping back as she walked in silence.

...too much silence.

She whirled back around to find that all of her fellow clones were still dawdling in the clearing. With a burst of pink magic, she yanked all five of them after her. “Move!”

Author's Note:

Next Chapter Release Date: Oct. 20th