• Published 3rd Oct 2019
  • 4,825 Views, 260 Comments

My Crazy Ex - 23 KM To Nerdiness



Restraining orders may be imminent...

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Rarity

[DAY 763]

"It's far, like, really far."

"It's not THAT far."

I'm Arcane Dust, your sturggling stallion unicorn.

Moondancer and I have been together for over 2 years, when the company she worked for decided to transfer her to Vanhoover for a six month assignment.

"What, you expect us to take a train back and forth every weekend?" Moondancer sighed. "You know we cannot afford that, right?"

"Well not EVERY weekend." I shrugged. "Just maybe every other one. We'll get through it."

I knew it was gonna be TOUGH, but our relationship was solid and I didn't think anything could stand in our way.

"Long distance relationships NEVER work out, Dusty." she continued. "You're a GUY. You're gonna go out with your friends one night, you're gonna be lonely, and then you'll be like 'Hey, check that sexy mare there', and then-"

"Okay, STOP." I grunted. "You haven't left yet and you're already panicking about something that won't happen."

When I found out she was going away, I actually got her something to show I was serious.

"D-Dusty......i-is that-"

"Now, it's not an engagement ring, it's just a promise ring. It's to show you how I feel. I'm not leaving, not by a long shot."

"Are you absolutely sure?"

"Positive."

I felt like we were gonna survive this long distance thing no problem.

[DAY 771]

After Moondancer left, I was feeling pretty lonely. So, I figured a night out with my good friend and roommate, Lemon Hearts, would be a good distraction.

I went over to the bar to grab a few more drinks and then-

"WHOOPS!" I yelped, bumping into a white coated unicorn mare. "I-I am SO sorry, I-"
"Oh, i-it's no problem." the pony sighed, staring at the scattered bits on the floor.

"L-Let me get that."

She composed herself as I magically plucked every bit off the ground and tossed into her glittering purse.

"Again, I'm really sorry."

"Well, darling, if you really want to make it up to me, you could buy me a drink."

"Oh, sure."

I felt bad about knocking her purse down, I thought it's the least I could do.

She told me her name was Rarity, we talked for a little, but I made sure to slip in the fact that I was in a serious relationship.

"That's just dreadful, dear." she swooned. "I couldn't possibly imagine it, I mean, what's the point of being with somepony if we can't BE with them? Just the idea of NO cuddling would be a deal breaker."

"Heh, don't remind me." I snickered. I know it wasn't easy, but we'll make it."

"Why can't I ever meet a gentlecolt like you?"

And then, all of a sudden, the conversation took an unexpected turn.

"Look, Arcane," Rarity said. "I'm not implying that it won't, but if thing's don't work out, or even if they do, here's my address."

"Thank you, but we're pretty solid, I-I really can't, sorry."
"Ooh, I-I've clearly had too much wine, I'm truly sorry."

"Woah, it's nothing, don't be."

"No, no, I must retire for the night. It was a pleasure meeting you. Moondancer's a lucky mare."

You never really know how strong you are until you've been tempted. Knowing that I was able to say no to RARITY gave me a lot of extra confidence that Moondancer and I were gonna make this work.

[DAY 776]

A few days later, and I got a package in the mail that changed everything.

It was from Moondancer.

She said the move had made her realize that we weren't meant to be together and she blamed ME for letting her go. Said she never wanted to hear from or SEE me again, that it would be too hard.

No other way to put it: I was totally blindsided.

[Reset: DAY 1]

For the next two weeks, all I did was mope around. But eventually, I thought it was time to get off the couch and start my running routine again.

"Arcane?" a familiar white mare paused beside me. "It's me, Rarity. We met a couple of weeks ago?"

"Oh yeah, hey." I panted.

I haven't thought of Rarity since that night at the bar. And I was still in kind of a funk, I didn't know what to say.

So, I went with-

"U-Uh, do you, uh......live around here?"
"Not too far, darling." she stated. "I like to run in this neighborhood."

"Heh, so do I."

"So.........how's the whole 'long distance' thing coming along?"

"Not so good, actually. We.....kinda broke up."
"Oh, so sorry to hear that, that must've been horrible. Do you want to go out, maybe talk about it?"

"Thanks, but I'm not really ready for-"

"Ah, no, that's not what I meant. It's quite clear that you need a friend more than a date."

I thought it was really cool that she was just willing to hang out.

"S-Sure, why not?" I nodded. "That'll be great."

There was just something about her, like I......KNEW her. So that night, she dragged me to this 5-star restaurant and we just chatted.

"Maybe showing her that ring was a mistake, I guess."

"I don't understand why she'd leave you, but it couldn't have been the ring."

It was kind of therapeutic, Rarity had a female perspective I really haven't thought of.

"She probably had more issues that have nothing to do with you." she said matter of factly.

"I-I guess you're right."

[DAY 8]

After that night, we spent alot of time together, just hanging out at the movies, being dragged to more sophisticated territories and stuff. Honestly, we've really did start out as just friends.

SMOOCH!

But that didn't really last long.

"For your information, I didn't plan this." Rarity said.

"N-No, I like it."

Rarity was confident, fun and generous. All of a sudden, breaking up with Moondancer.......didn't seem so bad.

[DAY 13]

It didn't take long before Rarity and I officially became a couple.

"Ugh, absolutely NOT!" the unicorn gasped. "In the pile at ONCE!"

"Aww, but I love this shirt."

One night before dinner, we started going through my old clothes. Rarity said I needed a 'clean break from my past'.

It hasn't even been a month and, but things were going so well, Moondancer was the farthest thing from my mind.

Rarity, on the other hoof...

"Uh, Rare, what are you doing?" I asked, watching her look through my pile of letters.

"Ah, Dust, you startled me." she gasped. "I-I was......you know, uh......I was just......oh, I was looking through your letters. To see if you've received anything from Moondancer."

"Rare, I haven't spoken to her for almost a month."

"I do apologize, i-it's just afraid that thing's might not go great between us and I wanted to make sure it was truly.....over between you two."

"I get it, I do, but I've moved on."

"A-Are you sure?"

"Hey, if there was a way to prove it to you, I would."

"W-Well.......actually, there is..."

So, that night, I threw all pictures of Moondancer and I away.

"I know it sounds weird." Rarity grunted. "It's just that I've been with stallions in the past who said they were 'over' their exes."

I kinda understood the concerns and honestly, there was no reason for me to hang on to all those photos of me and Moondancer. I actually agreed with Rarity.

Lemon Hearts had a different opinion...

"So, you threw away ALL of them?" she asked.

"Clean slate." I shrugged.

"Dusty, I'm glad you're happy, I really am, but you just got out of a SERIOUS 2 year relationship! Don't you think you're rushing into things with Rarity, she's here all the time."

"We hang at her place too, so....."

"You know what I meant."

[DAY 17]

A few days later, Rarity invited me over completely devastated. She said she accidentally left the door open and her cat, Opal, got out.

"C-Can you stay the night?" she sniffled.

We figured we wait til it was light out to go search for her. And, with the cat gone, it means I could stay the night.

Trust me, there's a point to this cat story...

[DAY 35]

Somehow, a couple of days turned into almost every night. Yeah, we were probably moving a little TOO fast.

But I'll admit, I was thinking with....the wrong part of my body.....or not at all.

[DAY 45]

And, not long after, we decided that I would move out of my place.

"Arc, I CANNOT express how bad of an idea this is." Lemon Hearts groaned.

"W-Well, yes, maybe this is a little quick-"

"I-I'm sorry, 'a little'? There are dairy products in the fridge from before you met her. Milk that I put onto my cereal this morning."

"Look, we really have something here, something special." I said proudly.

"I remember you said the exact same thing about Moondancer."

[DAY 46]

The next morning, I was just warming up before my run. I saw a flyer of Opal with it saying she's been FOUND, so I ran back to Rarity's place to tell her the good news. However, when I got back, I saw something I thought I'd never see again:

Moondancer, who's shouting at the top of her lungs for Rarity to open up and nearly beating down her door.

"Moondancer!" I hollered. "What the buck are you doing here?!"

"Oh, Dusty, you have to listen-"

"She's MENTAL, darling, don't listen to a word she says!" Rarity barked, trotting out the door.

"Oh, I'M mental?!" Moondancer growled. "At least I'm not a coltfriend-stealing MONSTER!!!"

I later found out that Lemon Hearts got in contact with Moondancer and told her about me and Rarity. She went NUTS and got here in a snap.

"Urgh, I should've NEVER trusted you!" Moondancer hissed.

"Wait." I uttered. "You two KNOW each other?"

And that's where I heard the entire truth:

Rarity was a professional dating decoy. She worked for some kind of crazy service where mares hired other mares to hit on their coltfriends to see if they could be TRUSTED. Apparently, she was so jaded from dealing with cheating stallions all the time that once she saw I was a good guy, she fell for me.

She lied to Moondancer saying that we slept together, knowing she'd break up with me.

After that, Rarity went for the kill. That day she spotted me running? She knew that was my route because Moondancer told her the places where she'd find me. A part of me knew she wasn't the jogging type anyways.

From there, Rarity was all about erasing my past with Moondancer so that she could never track me down. She thought of everything.

And her cat, Opal? She released her ACROSS town, hoping she wouldn't find her way home, that way, I'd stay the night with her and eventually moved in.

I mean, what mare does that to her damn PET?

"D-Dusty, I know I messed up." Moondancer stuttered. "But we could start over again."

"She doesn't appreciate you like I do!" Rarity hissed. "We're meant to be together!"

I knew I had to make a choice I could live with...

I didn't want anything to do with either one.

So I got a dog. He's awesome.

Arcane moved back in with Lemon Hearts. He never spoke to Rarity again.

Moondancer went back to Vanhoover...

And STAYED there.


Author's Note:

The role of Arcane Dust: SugarCane.