They're harsh group, yeah but this is going to be a long story and the actions of some members (such as Bronze Star) might not seem so bad as the truth of the matter comes out :3 But, yeah don't blame you for disliking them. They are a self proclaimed organization bringing wasteland justice. Wasteland justice ain't pretty. (Calamity would fit right in before his adventure with pip)
Read the first chapter and found it pretty enjoyable. I really liked your characterization of the Lawbringers as a faction, and not just because I've been really itching to write a courtroom scene myself. There were a few lines in particular where I could imagine a few of them scoffing during the testimony. I'm interested to learn more about them as the story goes along. I also liked how you tied it into the original. Although, a couple things I'm curious about: did you end up taking any cues from Long Talons or MN7? Been meaning to get to the former myself, but I know there have been a few stories set in Fillydelphia. Did either of those influence you at all or did you just really want to write this type of story?
9864954 The story sorta comes from a lot of things. I'd gotten through to chapter 9 or 12 of Murky before this whole idea burst forth, so undoubtedly it played a part. And when I decided setting it around Red Eye's operations I buckled down and burnt through the entirety of Murky. Really love that story and Fuzzy is an amazingly talented writer, but largely I burnt through it because I wanted to avoid conflicts? As well as seeing if a story was even possible with all that goes on in Murky. I'll be making idle reference to Murky but Murky's story and Favor's don't cross paths. A few of the characters from Murky will get referenced directly (Protege comes to mind and so does Shackles) but truth be told, the origins of Favor and the central conflicts/personality traits involved are more about personal experiences and things I've seen and helped people through. This story's sort of... catharsis for me? I haven't felt the need to write this strongly since I was a kid. So clearly I've got something I need to get out.
Long answer short: Yeah a little? Never read Long Talons, might be something I look into?
9864994 Cool. Either way, happy you're writing. Wishing you the best of luck.
As for Long Talons I have heard it's pretty good. I would say 'yes...?'. Although I've been meaning to read it myself along with other things so I can't really say.
One chapter in, and I already dislike the "Lawbringers" and their hypocritical ways. Was this intentional?
They're harsh group, yeah but this is going to be a long story and the actions of some members (such as Bronze Star) might not seem so bad as the truth of the matter comes out :3 But, yeah don't blame you for disliking them. They are a self proclaimed organization bringing wasteland justice. Wasteland justice ain't pretty. (Calamity would fit right in before his adventure with pip)
Read the first chapter and found it pretty enjoyable. I really liked your characterization of the Lawbringers as a faction, and not just because I've been really itching to write a courtroom scene myself. There were a few lines in particular where I could imagine a few of them scoffing during the testimony. I'm interested to learn more about them as the story goes along. I also liked how you tied it into the original. Although, a couple things I'm curious about: did you end up taking any cues from Long Talons or MN7? Been meaning to get to the former myself, but I know there have been a few stories set in Fillydelphia. Did either of those influence you at all or did you just really want to write this type of story?
Nice work!
9864954
The story sorta comes from a lot of things. I'd gotten through to chapter 9 or 12 of Murky before this whole idea burst forth, so undoubtedly it played a part. And when I decided setting it around Red Eye's operations I buckled down and burnt through the entirety of Murky. Really love that story and Fuzzy is an amazingly talented writer, but largely I burnt through it because I wanted to avoid conflicts? As well as seeing if a story was even possible with all that goes on in Murky. I'll be making idle reference to Murky but Murky's story and Favor's don't cross paths. A few of the characters from Murky will get referenced directly (Protege comes to mind and so does Shackles) but truth be told, the origins of Favor and the central conflicts/personality traits involved are more about personal experiences and things I've seen and helped people through. This story's sort of... catharsis for me? I haven't felt the need to write this strongly since I was a kid. So clearly I've got something I need to get out.
Long answer short: Yeah a little? Never read Long Talons, might be something I look into?
9864994
Cool. Either way, happy you're writing. Wishing you the best of luck.
As for Long Talons I have heard it's pretty good. I would say 'yes...?'. Although I've been meaning to read it myself along with other things so I can't really say.
Your book has been advertised on our Fallout Equestria facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/foebooks/
Feel free to join us and self advertise.
9897862
Oh! Thank you!
9895089
And thank you very much. All this positive feedback is wonderfully helpful. Its encouraging to say the least!
Really love it so far! It’s going to be really interesting I can tell!
9914771
Thank you! Chapter two should be up very very soon