A stallion, still acclimating to life on Earth, participates in a hazardous household waste collection event.
A submission for Admiral Biscuit’s “ponies working on Earth” contest challenge request.
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How can household waste be hazardous?
9856317
"EPA considers some leftover household products that can catch fire, react, or explode under certain circumstances, or that are corrosive or toxic as household hazardous waste. Products, such as paints, cleaners, oils, batteries, and pesticides can contain hazardous ingredients and require special care when you dispose of them."
(Source: Environmental Protection Agency)
Huh... I just now noticed that all these sources are saying that "HHW" stands for "household hazardous waste" (as opposed to the other way around). I guess I can see how they got there, but it still sounds wrong.
This was certainly an interesting story to read. I just have one minor complaint. The following passage:
While this is true, it's only partially correct. I've worked on a lot of modern appliances when they break down. Some are indeed harder to fix than replace, because they're designed in a way that makes disassembly quite a pain. But in other cases the replacement parts will actually cost more than the entire unit, or so much that the time and effort of fixing one will easily push the cost into the new product region. Frankly its ridiculous.
9856317
Ask any hoarder that's been buried alive when their crap falls on them.
I enjoyed this, just a casual look in the life of a pony on earth. Our brave husband might want to look into getting a fast-track degree so he can get back to accounting. There's always short educations available to get degrees to talented people out there quick.
Ooh, I like!
I've never worked at/visited a hazardous waste cleanup, either, but the details sound reasonably close. I've been to recycling centers where they unload the stuff for you, and its kinda like that.
"Tibby" is a great name for an orthopedic surgeon unicorn. Although, realistically, she might have to do a new residency to actually practice in the US...my sister-in-law, who's Canadian, did. Of course, she certainly could be under the supervision of somebody at the hospital.
Ponies would likely be confused and frustrated at some of our public transit options and ridesharing and various apps (Uber and whatnot); I'd imagine some would prefer the socialization on trains, while others would appreciate the convenience of getting picked up and dropped off wherever.
I also do find the thought on the amount of human wastefulness believable. Especially if in Equestria, manufactured goods are disproportionately expensive (which I think they are).
Also, adding to 9857024's comment, even finding repair parts for a lot of appliances is a challenge, never mind the expense. I had to replace a reflector on a microwave once (the mica sheet), and as far as I could tell, you couldn't buy one. Luckily, you could buy the sheets and cut one to fit, but that was quite a pain.
My new microwave (well, 10 years old) needs new wheels for the rotating plate, and I'm not sure I can get those anywhere...
9857948
There’s also online degrees, although IDK how much use they are in actually getting a job
But, that’s one area where EQ is definitely different “Credentials? Got them right here on my bum.”
9857024
I’ve read that if the repair costs more than about 20% of the replacement cost, you’re better off just replacing it. & Trying to get parts for an older computer....SHEESH!
9857024
9867538
Yeah, finding the proper OEM part (or even a generic clone of that part) and all that can be a pain sometimes. On the other hoof, it's amazing how often something just needs a recap kit, (or even just a couple obvious caps replaced, like the power board in my old Cyberhome CH-DVD 300.) And sometimes you just have to drill a few holes and stick generic toggle switches in a thing.
Though when all the sheetmetal tube burners (and heat tents) in my grill were completely rusted out, I discovered that it was actually *cheaper* to buy a set of 5 cast-iron replacement burners and 5 generic stainless heat tents than it was to buy a new grill (even with fewer burners), plus all those new grills seem to have the same garbage sheetmetal tube burners that I started with, and now I have *good* burners in my grill instead.
Though my lawnmower seems to get mixed reception. On the plus side, it goes basically all summer on just that little tank before I have to take the tank in for a refill at TSC off their big bulk tank ($2.39/gallon, last time I was in, so barely $3 after tax). On the downside, my brothers both refuse to mow the lawn with it, so I end up doing all the mowing. Also I never did manage to get the blade adapter off the end of the shaft (even with a pulley remover) so that I could replace the leaky oil seal down there, so I keep having to top up the oil more often than I really like. (Recently stopped buying the little bottles of overprices B&S SAE30 and just grabbed a big jug of Rotella SAE30 instead, I hear it's actually pretty good in aircooled gas engines.) But it gets the grass mowed anyways, so as long as I keep an eye on the oil level... 🤷
9857948
A good point. Right now, he's just bitter about having to pay for classes that will teach him things he already knows. But he'll eventually do it -- the call from his cutie mark will be too strong.
9867538
For the record (not that this necessarily clarifies anything), my description of what it's like to drop items off at such an event comes from firsthand experience. It's just that the most recent one I went to took place before I read your prompt to imagine ponies being out and about, so I didn't think to deliberately observe any details beyond "Hey, look at the nifty stack of microwaves." At the time, I was more concerned with getting out of there and back to where there was air conditioning. My disclaimer applies more to the experience of being outside the car.
The sign pointing cars in the correct direction really did call it a "roundup," which I found amusing.
I imagine that if we humans were ever visited by friendly aliens who were willing to live here and who could heal broken bones in about one-fiftieth the time, certain exceptions to the rules would be made.
Not addressed in this story: How the medical industry is reacting to a drastic decrease in the quantity of treatment certain patients will need. Some corporation is losing out on a lot of money in markups because of these magic ponies.
9857024
9868359
I felt bad about disposing of my ten-year-old $90 microwave when the only broken part was in the turntable (the unit still heated food, just unevenly), but yeah... it simply made more sense to buy a new $90 microwave.
Thanks for this - it was a nice good slice-of-life
9867538
I literally have microwaves by the dozens. Just ask me, you nerd.
9870690
Mine still works, though, and some of yours are likely banned by the Geneva Convention or the Nuclear Test Ban Treaty.
9868495
Your lawnmower is epic. I wouldn’t use it myself; I’ve had some bad luck with propane cylinders and try to avoid them if I can.
I had one that was kludged together with parts from many mowers, but it finally died and I just bought a new one.
I can get through most of the summer with only three or four gallons of gas, because I’m really lazy about mowing my lawn.
9868495
If you are near an airport, Aeroshell 80W or 100W is also a real good lawnmower oil. It's also 10 dollars a quart, but my oil consumption on mine went down.
I also kinda... run mine on used drain oil from airplanes, but still... you know, little things.
I also run all my small engines on sumped 100 low leaded gasoline, for that extra octane boost. Yeah baby.
9876752
I meant if you just need the little wheel thingie for the spinny-ma-bob.
9878444
Hmm, not sure on running oil that much heavier than recommended (Though I *have* heard of people putting heavy gear oil into the engine of a car they're taking to auction to quiet a failing engine long enough to sell it...)
I was under the impression that higher octane in of itself won't give more power, but it will allow higher compression to be used (which does improve performance) without blowing up the engine from preignition/predetonation. Also https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7_rpEejTKk seems to indicate that 100LL will leave excessive deposits in a mower engine. (Plus the gasoline tank on mine completely rusted out anyways, one part of why I switched to propane...)
I have been thinking of picking up some REC90 (no ethanol!) for this thing we have that's best described as sort of like a hybrid between a huge weed-eater and a lawnmower without front wheels...
Reminds me, found this empty metal can along the curb that the label sticker on it says originally held K1, I wonder if I can rinse it out with something and use it to store gasoline in? (Labeling it appropriately, of course.)
9878900
Aeroshell 80W is actually SAE 40 weight, and 100W is 50. There's a reason why they do that, but I dunno. They're starting to use multi-viscosity oils in airplanes now, for instance Aeroshell has a 15W50 and Phillips makes a 20W50. I've not had good luck with those oils in my small engines, although my vehicles they do fine so long as the ratio of normal car oil is over that of the aviation oil.
The best stuff, if you can find it anymore (Aeroshell discontinued it this year) was W100 Plus, that had a special blend of Cam Guard so it helped with cam wear. I got a mini-horde of that stuff stock piled that's older than I am (courtesy of an old store room at work, and since the oil was "expired" we couldn't sell it.)
You're right on the gas thing. And I didn't tell the whole story. I only run the straight 100LL in my 2 strokes, with no oil, cause the lead count is enough for lubrication. My other small engines I run a blend of 100LL and the Rec Fuel you mentioned (although out by me, it's 93 octane).
About that K1 can, you can, in fact! Use water and dish soap (I always perfer Dawn), rinse it out well after cleaning it, and it should be fine. I always get a roll of red duct tape or electrical tape and wrap it around the can a few times, so it's clearly stating it a red/gas can now. You can also, if you're feeling lazy, just take quarter gallon of gasoline and rinse the can out. It's lazier, and not guaranteed to get out all the residue from Kerosene, but that small amount won't hurt anything.
In fact, once in a while, a small dollop of K1 (or Jet A since I work at a airport) in the gas is kinda good for it. It's especially good for fuel injection systems, helps clean the injectors, although for small engines that's rare.
Another fine pony on Earth story, especially all the frustration over human bureaucracy not yet adapting to ponies, to say nothing of the inscrutable headscratchers like "Why is this metropolis in the literal desert?" Thank you for it.
9856317
The really hazardous waste is stuff for household cleaning, automobile fluids, solvents of all kind, epoxy, etc. But more and more things are classified as hazardous waste all the time, even though the level of toxicity may be so low that it would be less-hazardous to bury it in your yard than to gather it all in one place. Old TV sets are now hazardous waste, as are compact fluorescent light bulbs (ironically, the same ones they made everyone buy about 10 years ago to save the environment).
Other than the use of present tense (which I'm not dissing; I like to see writers try all the POVs), this is a good simulation of how a pony who isn't a writer might describe his job. I'm not sure whether that's a good thing, or a bad thing. You've edited the sentences more than Jay Random Non-writer usually would, which is probably a good choice; I think complete realism would be tough on the reader. On the other hand, the text has no dramatic structure, which is realistic, but makes it a slow read. I guess you made a good trade-off between realistic and readable. The concept restricts the story to a limited readership--basically those with anthropological interest in ponies and humans. (Like FanOfMostEverything.) I don't mean that as a criticism. Fiction can do many things. This is a worthwhile thing to do, but will never be a hit.
I've now read 2 of your stories, but still don't have much of an idea of your range as a writer, because they were both intentionally written in the voice of a non-writer. But that in itself shows that you experiment with different voices, which is something mediocre writers seldom do.
9878444
You better hope the stallion who wrote this doesn't read your spoilertext.
11616394
Yeah, this was very much written in the style of an Admiral Biscuit day-in-the-life story where the stakes are low to nonexistent and it's just interesting to watch someone go about their day.
Fair warning, though, that my general voice as an author leans more toward a straightforward, almost clinical, "get to the point" style with little vivid imagery and metaphor -- perhaps slightly more complex than the narrator of this story, but not as much as you might expect. I recognize that that isn't what a lot of people are looking for in their fiction, but I also know that I'm no Charles Dickens.