• Published 27th Sep 2019
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Home Again - Ninjadeadbeard



Sunset just wanted to fix the portal to Equestria, not cause the apocalypse. Again.

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Chapter 3 - Memento Mori

“Come on, come on,” the Princess of Night whispered fretfully, her twitching eyes nailed to her sister’s sun as it tipped ever-so-slowly towards the horizon. Tia was probably doing it on purpose, naturally, just to spite her. She tap-tap-tapped her hooves impatiently on the floor of her bedroom balcony, the same place from where she always raised and lowered the moon.

Luna’s agitation carried over from her eyes to the rest of her form. Dark circles around her eyes spoke of many a restless day spent not getting her proper sleep. Her fur was unkempt and ruffled in places. Her wings badly needed pruning, and her mane and tail hung limp from her head. But once the moon was up and her little ponies were resting once more, everything would turn out alright, at least as far as Luna’s trouble was concerned.

Why wouldn’t the blasted sun set yet!?

The golden disc finally touched the horizon. Luna watched it like a cat would a mousehole, waiting for the right moment to pounce. As the sun slowly, slowly dipped down, every muscle in the Princess’s body quivered for action, demanded it.

“Just a bit lower,” she snarled quietly, “That’s it. Almost… there…”

At the same instant the sun finally vanished over the horizon, Luna’s horn flashed with her dark blue majesty, and her Moon fired into the sky as though Pinkie Pie had launched it with one of her impossible party cannons. The stars even looked like confetti this night, shaky with the haste Luna cast them up into the heavens. The royal astronomers would be complaining about whiplash for days after this.

The Princess of the Night did not care for such trivialities. “Finally!” Luna laughed in a slightly Twilight-fashion. Her horn lit up again, carrying her mind across the darkening lands of Equestria. “Where are you?” she snarled, the hunt underway.

She only needed a moment to find what she was looking for. The trap had been sprung, and the hunter need merely approach to collect their prey. Excellent. This gave her time to prepare for the confrontation.

However, before that confrontation could take place, she heard another one landing on her balcony.

“Sister,” the gentle, at other times soothing voice of Celestia, the Princess of the Sun, ran up Luna’s spine like a warm cotton blanket, “I cannot allow you to do this any longer.”

Three nights of this argument had done little for Luna’s nerves. “Well, if thou wills it, then cast me back to the moon!”

“Luna!” the sudden tone of anguish was more than enough to make the former Mare in the Moon flinch and reconsider what she’d said.

Besides, this night she had better news. “Forgive us, Sister mine,” she turned, looking up into the ancient, concerned eyes of the only pony she truly loved, “But as you are well aware, this has been a troubling issue for too long. And, if I am correct, I have finally found the answers I sought.”

“Oh?” the solar diarch raised an eyebrow, “You’ve finally figured out where this…” she waved one hoof about, searching for the word she thought she’d committed to memory by now, “… this Super Nightmare is hiding?” She placed her waving hoof on Luna’s withers, in an obvious attempt to comfort her sister.

Luna allowed the sign of affection, even if she could hear the trace of condescension in Celestia’s voice. Or perhaps that was the sleep deprivation. Who could tell?

“The… ‘super nightmare’, as you call it,” Luna wondered why she bothered with correct terminology anymore these days, “or more properly, the Incubus, has eluded me for three nights. This should not be possible, but I think I have discovered how the monster is doing it.”

Celestia’s hoof somehow tightened its hold. “Sister… that’s what you said last night.”

Luna gently removed the hoof with one of her wings. “As I was saying, I have just now confirmed what I merely suspected last night.

“The Incubus resides within the dreams of Twilight Sparkle.”

Celestia gasped, a hoof swiftly rose to cover her shocked expression. “Are you sure? But she seemed so calm at the diplomatic summit!”

“No,” Luna blinked irritably, “The other Twilight Sparkle! The one who is from the dimension in which your Sunset Shimmer now resides.”

“Oh… well that’s not good either,” said Celestia, ruffling her feathers lightly.

Luna shook her limp mane, “Indeed not. An Incubus is a Nightmare of supreme darkness and despair. It does not merely worsen our pony’s sleep, but can overturn their sanity itself if left unchecked.”

She turned her gaze back to the moon, scowling as she continued, “I have only faced three before in all my nights. One was the Tantabus, which I set upon myself as punishment for Nightmare Moon…”

Celestia was at her side, quickly interrupting as gently as she could, “And I am gladdened every day that you overcame your misplaced guilt and came back to me, my dearest Luna.”

The princesses smiled together a moment. Then, Luna finished her tale, “The other two were easy to find, and weak to mine own puissance… my power over the dreamrealms. This one, like the Tantabus, had some means of eluding me. Hence these past sleepless days and harrowing nights.”

“How did it hide from you?”

“There are two Twilight Sparkles.” Luna pointed out two of her stars, making them glow and twinkle in time with one another, “Despite the minor differences between us, the souls of our counterparts across the mirror are very similar, if not identical to one another. Whilst Dreamwalking, I was unable to differentiate between either one. It was like a nightmare echo, blinding all my other dream-senses, hiding its source.”

Celestia, despite the seriousness, tittered, “Don’t you mean deafened?”

One annoyed glance caused the elder sibling to quiet herself, and listen with a foalish grin as Luna continued.

“The other Twilight has been in the Crystal Empire for the past two days, as you may well recall from Cadence’s letter about the incident there. But I believe she has returned to Ponyville, and sleeps now in the Castle of Friendship. With their close proximity to one another, the echo is focused in one location. I can finally see exactly where to go so I may solve this crisis.”

The two alicorns stood on the balcony, bathed in moonlight, and cooled by a slow, measured breeze ordered in from Cloudsdale. The two could not be more dissimilar, as Luna’s faded condition stood in stark contrast to the well-rested Celestia. Indeed, Celestia could tell even without a millennium of experience that Luna was shivering, not from the cold but from sheer lack of sleep.

The Diarch of the Sun decided to address that particular issue. “Sister, you’re exhausted.”

“We… I have been striving hard to locate this threat…”

“Your Nightguards say you’ve been hallucinating in the halls during the day.”

Luna blew a raspberry, “Night Kicker would say that, the nosy little…”

“Night Kicker’s been dead for one thousand years.”

Luna glowered at her sister. “Impossible! She was with me last…” she paused, one eye blinking involuntarily, “oh, I see. You may have a point then.”

Celestia gently laid a wing over her sister, pulling them together gingerly. Luna knew there would be a lecture at this point about responsibilities, taking care of oneself, and all of those things she emphatically did not wish to talk about this night. Typical, really.

So, she cut Celestia off quickly. “Fear not, Tia. I know that in my present state I am no match for an Incubus.”

“Good,” her elder sister smiled, “I am glad you are making the responsible choice in this matter…”

“Which is why I summoned help.”

A flicker of anger passed across Celestia’s face, but before she could say anything further on the matter, she heard something… sproing behind them. Both princesses turned back towards the door to the balcony, and took in the sight of a bouncing pink mare hopping towards them.

“Oh, horsefeathers,” Celestia sighed.

“Good evening your majesties!” Pinkie Pie trilled as she came to a stop before the two sisters, “And isn’t it a be-ay-U-tea-full night for a party!?” She managed to maintain her rhythmic bouncing while one hoof came up to scratch at her chin, “Then again, when isn’t it a good time for a party…?”

Something about this should have worried Celestia. Something in the back of her mind, in a memory she couldn’t quite recall. Why did she suddenly dread the appearance of the hyperactive pink pony?

“We welcome thee, Pinkie Pie,” Luna genuinely smiled, “Did you bring it as I requested?”

Pinkie stopped a few feet away, reached up into her mane, and drew out a silver thermos whose lid was held down with red tape. “Of course! One order of Pinkie’s Super Sugary Turbo-Caffeinated Mocha-Delight! Or, The Good Stuff, as I call it,” she said, somehow capitalizing the name even in speech.

The Good Stuff. Oh, no. Celestia remembered now… her wings quivered reflexively. “Luna, hold on. That’s…”

“Not what We asked for,” Luna held up the thermos in her magic. “Lady Pie, I believe I asked for your strongest caffeinated beverage.”

Pinkie’s expression retained every ounce of joy and good cheer she’d entered with. “What d’ya mean?”

Luna set the thermos down. “What I mean is, I was led to believe you could provide me something called… The Ponk. Was I mistaken?”

Celestia had seen Pinkie Pie perform impossible stunts, and through Twilight’s letters knew of a hundred more. She knew Pinkie could smile so hard that rainbows spontaneously appeared in the sky, or outrun a flying Rainbow Dash with ease. Pinkie was said to have died and returned to life three days later, though that might have been an ill-timed sugar-induced coma, according to Twilight’s follow-up medical examination.

She had never seen or heard of a serious Pinkie Pie. And the Party Planner Pony was deadly serious now. Her mane, the frizziest Celestia had ever seen, deflated instantly. Her eyes narrowed to points, and her jubilant smile became a warlike scowl.

“No,” said Pinkie Pie, her voice a slab of concrete.

Luna raised an eyebrow in question. “No as in, I am not mistaken? Or no as in you will not…”

Pinkie’s hoof clamped down on Luna’s muzzle, silencing the Princess. Both she and Celestia looked on in complete shock. Pinkie’s voice was completely, and entirely unemotional as she said, “No. I cannot give you what you seek.”

Not that Celestia wanted this line of thought to go any further… but now she was invested. “Why not? If I may ask?”

Pinkie folded her forelegs together. “I have sworn a sacred oath. No creature may again have the Ponk, save for Pinkie Pies.”

“Did… did you just pluralize your name?” Celestia frowned.

Luna, however, lifted her chin and said with an imperial tone, “And what if We were to command it? You forget that We are the Princess of Night.”

Pinkie’s face came within an inch of Luna’s, their eyes locking. For the first time in… what was probably millennium, Luna felt like a filly again. Pinkie’s eyes did not hold the power of Fluttershy’s legendary Stare, Luna did not think, but they did hold a power all their own. It was as though Luna had stepped uninvited into another Princess’s domain.

“The Ponk is too dangerous,” Pinkie warned again, “Nocreature besides a Pinkie Pie and one other have ever survived the attempt. I wouldn’t wish the Ponk on my worst enemy,” a flash of her goofy smile returned, “and I don’t even have those!”

“Wait,” Celestia regretted asking, but again… invested. “Who was the one other creature?”

Pinkie glanced about the balcony, making sure that the three were alone. She then reached up to both princesses, and pulled them down into a huddle.

With a conspirator’s whisper, she asked, “What do you two know about Discord’s backstory?” *

Both princesses snapped back to a straight posture, their own eyes now pinpricks. Celestia’s jaw stopped working entirely, while Luna began to speak as quickly as she could manage, saying, “Very-well-we-shall-heed-your-warning! The Good Stuff, it is!”

Pinkie squee’d, her joyful exuberance, and frizzy mane, restored.

Celestia, however, balked. “Lulu! Do not drink that!”

Luna tore off the tape keeping the thermos’ lid down. “What now? Why not?”

“Because I know what The Good Stuff is and what it does to ponies!” She affixed Pinkie with the stare of an angry parent after a school buckball game, “Pinkie Pie, the last time you sold that… concoction here, I explicitly banned it from the city. Why do you still have it?”

Pinkie shrugged, “I didn’t know what that meant,” then more seriously, and a touch chagrined, “Um… sorry about that. I figured if Luna asked for it, then it would be alright. Besides, I didn’t sell it, I traded it. You never banned me from just making The Good Stuff either.”

Celestia snorted. “I know you don’t remember since you were so young yourself and hadn’t met yet, but Twilight purchased a bottle of that horrid stuff while she was still a student here…”

The Good Stuff,” Pinkie interrupted, “It’s a trademark thing.”

“And she ended up in a coma!”

Luna, eyeing the thermos, turned her shocked face back to the conversation, “What!? A coma?”

Celestia nodded, “She was asleep for a week straight! That… Good Stuff gave her enough energy to spontaneously burst into flames, and then after a day she just collapsed! As did half of my other advanced students!” She shook her head in disbelief, “I think Sunburst was down for a month. Did not do his grades any favors…”

Pinkie leaned in and gave the Princess of the Sun a light elbowing. “Buuuuut… how much work did Twilight get done before crashing?”

Celestia deflated slightly, sighing, “An entire semester in an afternoon…” then, wings outstretched and muzzle right up against Pinkie’s“And then NOTHING for a week!”

The Royal Canterlot Voice straightened Pinkie’s mane back… temporarily, but failed to deprive the mare of her sunny disposition.

“Relax! I’ve tweaked the formula. Luna’ll have a whole night’s worth of energy for whatever it is you’re doing, and then she’ll just have to sleep it off for, like, a day.”

“Great!” Celestia’s sarcasm was combined with an eye roll so hard she nearly made herself dizzy, “More work for me, assuming Luna doesn’t turn to stone or something ridiculous like that.” She turned back to her sister, “Luna, I…”

The thermos was tipped completely up, the Princess of Night quaffing The Good Stuff down like water in the desert.

Oh, for MY sake!”

Luna smacked her lips and gave a satisfied sigh. “Huh… minty.” She returned the thermos to Pinkie Pie, and then asked, “When should I start feeling the effects of your draught?”

Now she asks,” Celestia muttered.

“Just give it a few minutes,” Pinkie nodded enthusiastically. She then produced a small piece of parchment and began reading. “Just to let you know, for legal reasons, there might be some side effects.”

Celestia face-hoofed.

“For Our charges,” Luna said in a regal manner, “We would suffer any malediction. But, pray tell, what might these… side effects entail?”

Pinkie coughed, then read, “Warning! The Good Stuff is not to be taken by mares who are pregnant or might become pregnant. If a blink takes longer than four hours, seek medical attention immediately.”

“A… a blink?” Luna stuttered.

Celestia sighed, “Medical attention?”

“Common side effects may include: discolored cutie marks, rampant nostalgia, loss of smell, loss of the sense of smell, necromancy, giggle fits, loss of life, loss of death, mane palpitations, and hoof-rot.”

When Pinkie finished, she beamed another smile at the royal sisters.

“Sister,” Luna did nothing to hide her sudden panic, “This was a terrible mist- oh boy…”

The Princess of Night leapt twenty feet straight up with a howl. She landed lightly moments later as a faint glow settled across her body. Celestia, knots in her chest and stomach, watched as Luna’s eyes lost their dark circles, as though by magic. Her coat evened out, and even her wings seemed to suddenly fill back up with clean feathers.

Worryingly, her mane and tail were far… frizzier than before.

“Whoa,” Luna said, sitting down onto her haunches. She remained unmoving only a moment, before she lifted her hooves up to inspect them. She was still glowing.

“Um… Luna? Sister?” Celestia inched forward. “How… how do you feel?”

Luna licked her lips. “I don’t know. I can feel my hooves.”

“Can?”

“Yes,” Luna nodded, “Especially the inside of them.” She looked up at Pinkie. “Why are my teeth screaming?”

“Okay, we’re done now,” Celestia’s horn blazed with golden light, bathing the balcony in magical energy. The light was near-blinding, even for Celestia. Yet within moments it faded, leaving three creatures standing together.

“Pinkie, help me get Luna to bed…” the Princess of the Sun began to say as her eyesight cleared, only to see something extraordinary.

Luna seemed completely fine. Better than fine, even. She stood in front of her sister, calmly taking in the night. Her eyes, flanks, and wings were still fine, and her mane had returned to its starlit ethereal beauty.

“Well,” she said, a slow, even breath pulling into her lungs, her first real taste of the cold, night air tonight, “You seem to have countered the unnecessary caffeine in my system, Sister. Astounding.”

“Luna?” Celestia checked her sister’s eyes for twitches and pupil dilation. “How do you feel?”

“As though I received an adequate amount of sleep over these past few days,” she responded in a smooth, even tone. “Though, I trust this will have some adverse effects on my ‘crash’ later. Is that so, Pinkie?”

Pinkie Pie removed the sunglasses she’d put on to avoid Celestia’s magical light. “I cannot be held responsible for magical interference in The Good Stuff.”

Celestia placed both her fore-hooves on Luna’s shoulders. “Lulu, are you really fine? I just hit you with a sleep spell!”

“For sooth, sister,” Luna removed Celestia’s hooves with her own, and then gave her a quick hug. “Though I will confess you seem to have taken the edge off my heightened energy levels. Which spell did you use?”

Celestia blushed. “The… the one Twilight and Starlight wrote.”

Luna clicked her tongue, “Ah. I see.”

“I know,” the solar princess chuckled uneasily, “Overkill, considering the spell itself was designed for a full-blown ‘Twilighting’.”

Luna smiled, then turned back to Pinkie. “You have performed admirably, Pinkie. Before I take my leave, I shall deliver your payment.”

Celestia watched as Luna summoned a scroll of paper with a pop of magic. The Princess of Night motioned to Pinkie with one hoof, and the party planner pony bowed low to her and Celestia both.

Then,” Luna spoke in the Royal Canterlot Voice, though at a far lower register than usual, “By the power invested in Us as the Princess of Night, Diarch of Equestria, we name thee Pinkamena, Daughter of the House of Pie, a noble of the court, and grant thee the title of Princess.”

“Luna!” Celestia snapped, “You can’t just make Pinkie a Princess!”

Luna huffed, “She’s performed many a great and noble service to the nation before. Such is the least We might do to repay her.” She stuck her tongue out at her sister, “Besides, it’s an honorary title, and it’s not like I’m making her an alicorn!”

Pinkie shook her head vigorously, somehow making the sound of a cowbell. “I couldn’t accept that even if you offered anyway. Did you see how mad ponies got when Twilight became an alicorn?”

Celestia’s mind felt a little gooey, trying to process all of this. “Well, I know Blueblood was pretty upset about the whole affair, but…”

Luna popped another scroll out of thin air, then tossed both to Pinkie using her magic. “And, of course, the other half of the payment.”

Before Celestia could say a word, Pinkie’s smile caused a rainbow to briefly flash into existence over the royal balcony, just before she leapt back onto her tail… which she used like a giant spring to launch herself over the balcony’s railing.

The last Celestia saw, a little pink parachute had safely lowered Pinkie Pie to the gardens below, from where the party pony took off in a gallop for home.

“Wait, what?” the princess sputtered, “What just happened? What payment?”

Luna began doing her wing stretches, replying to her sister as she did so. “Oh, I just named Pinkie Pie as the Official Canterlot Planner for the Grand Galloping Gala this year.”

“Y-you what!?”

Shadowy tendrils of dream magic sprang to life from Luna’s horn at that moment, and she called out to her sister as though she were departing physically, instead of merely magically. “Sorry Tia! Can’t hear you through all this dream magic! See you in the morning!”

Celestia reached her sister just as the dream-trance took over. That did not, however, stop her from grabbing Luna with both fore-hooves and shaking her for all she was worth. After a few minutes though, even Celestia got tired of this, instead opting to laugh at the whole situation.

“Ah well,” she giggled, returning to her chambers to rest, “at least this means I’ll get some of Pinkie’s delicious pastries. And with any luck, she’ll ‘ruin’ the gala again this year!”


The Dream Realm was ever-changing and ever-unchanged. It was timeless, and a place without time. Normally, Luna would bask in the radiance of this pseudo-night, flying through a sea of stars that were dreams. But this night was different. This night, she was here to hunt a monster.

An Incubus was a very, very dangerous form of nightmare, if left unchecked. In her thousand-year absence, Luna had failed to execute her duties in this matter. While before Nightmare Moon, she had only seen two instances of such a thing, she knew from checking Celestia’s accumulated records that there were many cases of “mad ponies” throughout the centuries that she could have helped, had she been there.

Incubus were nightmares born from deeply seated issues the pony in question allowed to fester until it became something more than a mere nightmare. One’s sanity would erode under such mental stress. Yet for all the danger, they were simple for Luna to defeat if she could find them.

And now she knew where to look.

She could see the Castle of Friendship within the Dream Realm. A pillar of crystal, within which lay many doors and portals to the dreams of those who dwelt there in slumber. It would be a simple matter to slip in and begin searching.

Luna did so with ease, appearing in a dreamlike recreation of one of the castle’s many hallways. Luna often marveled, as many others did, at how much larger the castle seemed from the inside as opposed to its outer dimensions.

The Princess walked down the dream corridor; her dream senses open to whatever lay beyond. She came first to a purple door with a pink star emblazoned upon it. The door itself was wide open, as were any door which led to a dream Luna might visit.

Inside, she could see the Princess Twilight Sparkle, sitting at a desk, writing onto some lengthy paper as she cycled between three separate books held in her magical grip. A study-dream? How peculiar. Yet, there was something odd about Princess Sparkle’s appearance.

For one thing, she looked like she was actually reading the books, which Luna knew to be impossible. The written word could not survive intact within a dream.

“How interesting,” Luna mused.

Twilight waved her hoof towards the door. “Oh, not so much. It’s a wonder how much work you can get done lucid dreaming.”

Luna balked, her eyes growing with shock. “You… you can see me?”

“Well of course,” Twilight said, taking one book in particular in hoof, “Lucid dreaming.”

“Lucid dreaming doesn’t do that, Twilight Sparkle.”

Twilight looked up from her books. The two princesses stared at one another for what felt like an uncomfortably long time.

Luna decided to clarify. “I’m outside your dream, Twilight Sparkle. You should not be able to perceive me, regardless of your mental state.”

The purple alicorn blushed, and then faded away. She reappeared instantly next to Luna in the corridor between dreams, just as the door to her dream slammed shut without a sound.

“So,” Twilight sighed, scratching the back of her neck with one wing, “I suppose this particular jig is… in fact, up?”

Luna wore a perfectly neutral expression, long practiced as a part of her royal ‘costume’, even though her internal world was spiraling with questions, protestations, and latent caffeine spikes. “How did you do this?”

Twilight shrugged, avoiding eye contact, “Well, you remember that amulet you and Celestia made to let me tap into your power to raise the sun and moon?”

“Indeed.”

“Well, Starlight and I studied the magical signatures in the amulet itself and… maybe, sort of… reverse-engineered it,” she spoke this last part quickly, and in a single rapid breath.

Luna, outwardly neutral, inwardly reeling, repeated to herself, “You reverse-engineered our Cutie Mark’s power to control the heavens… in order to learn how to Dreamwalk?”

Twilight nodded, still avoiding eye contact. “I just thought, since you’ll be retiring, perhaps I’d need to be able to help ponies in their dreams like you did, but I needed a way to do that, and if you said no because of the cutie mark thing, then I’d need a spell to copy your power so you’d maybe accept my plan and let me come along once in a while…”

Luna’s hoof did not need to touch Twilight’s muzzle to make the Princess of Friendship cease her rambling.

“Twilight,” she smiled, meeting her dear friend’s eyes with her own, “Did you think We would be upset that you not only wished to care for the wellbeing of others, but also managed to create a whole new spell in order to accomplish what others have always thought impossible?” She winked, “Do you think so little of me?”

“Oh gosh!” Twilight shouted, “Of course not! No! I think the world of you and Celestia…!”

Luna laughed, a real belly laugh, if a princess could do something so crude and plebian. “And how did you manage to read in your dreams? That’s supposed to be impossible.”

Twilight smiled, letting go of at least a bit of her anxiety, “Oh, well, I figured out how to use magic to copy books into my mind… but the contents have to be absorbed heuristically… in order, so I made them directly accessible through my dreams. A little lucid-dreaming spell later and, well…”

“You don’t need to keep impressing me, Twilight,” Luna nuzzled the younger alicorn affectionately, “We were already giving you our throne, after all.”

Twilight returned the affection, then stepped back and asked, “What brings you out here tonight?”

Luna’s mirth faded away as her task reasserted itself in her mind. “We are here with a perilous purpose. We believe that your mirror counterpart is under the influence of an Incubus…”

Twilight gasped, “An Incubus!?”

“Indeed, Twilight Sparkle, it…”

Twilight carried on uninterrupted, “A ‘Super Nightmare’ that slowly degrades a pony’s psyche and drives them mad!”

Luna was nonplussed, meekly adding, “Uh, yes.”

The purple alicorn hummed as she pondered the problem, then cast a serious gaze towards her elder Princess. “It must be Midnight Sparkle.”

“Midnight Sparkle?” Luna’s eyes widened. “Is… is this an unknown relative of thine? Why have I never heard of them before?”

Twilight shook her head, “No, no. Midnight Sparkle is… well, we thought she was like Nightmare Moon, just born from the other Me instead of you.”

Huh. Luna had never thought of it that way, but Nightmare Moon did come from her own jealousy and anxiety towards Celestia. She supposed that meant four Incubuses…

“But if she’s an Incubus,” Twilight continued, “Then you should be able to defeat her in the other Twilight’s dreams!”

“That is my intention,” Luna nodded. “In fact, destroying such a creature is not difficult. It was only due to your unique situation that…”

Twilight held up one hoof to stop her, a decidedly smug look on her face. “Dream echo?”

Luna allowed a playful smile to touch her features, “Now, dear Twilight, I do believe you are just showing off.” She sighed, and then came to a decision. “Twilight Sparkle, wilt thou accompany me? I would say the education would be good for you, but…”

The purple alicorn began bouncing like her friend Pinkie. “Oh! Thank you! Thankyouthankyou!” She paused, coughed with embarrassment, and then said in a tone more befitting her station, “We thank thee for this opportunity, dearest Luna.”

Sharing a light chuckle, the two alicorns began treading through the illusory halls. Twilight was clearly new to the experience despite her magical studies and experimentations, glancing about and taking in the sight with foal-like glee. Luna outwardly seemed stoic, even becalmed. Internally, she marveled at her young friend and heir-apparent.

While she only seemed to interact with Twilight during crises, Luna found each encounter an enlightening experience. Each one showed her more and more how well Celestia had picked her pupil.

Luna nodded towards an upcoming door. It was a dull red-colored wood, with a symbol in the shape of a black cyclone marked on it. “Do you know whose dream lies beyond that door?” she asked, expectantly.

Twilight trotted up to the door, eyeing the symbol with interest. “I assume this is meant to be a Cutie Mark? I’ve never seen this one before.” She reached for the door handle with one hoof.

Before she could touch the door, it opened a crack. And through the small opening came the familiar head of a Draconequus. “No solicitors!” Discord cried, then slammed the door shut on Twilight’s nose. It was fortunate this was merely her dream-nose.

Luna chuckled as she saw Twilight’s confused face turn back to her, “Dreamwalking Lesson One: You’ll find that it’s best to leave Discord’s dreams to Discord.” She snickered, “Addendum: Same with Pinkie Pie, actually.”

The princesses continued down the corridor, pausing briefly at the open dream doors they passed. The first were three doors right next to each other, each emblazoned with the Cutie Mark Crusader’s emblem. The three fillies appeared to be fighting evil, Nightmare versions of Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash, and losing. Sweetie Belle’s dream was in black and white, Rarity dressed as a mob boss. Applebloom looked to be wrangling her sister, now a giant bull with her Three-Apple Cutie Mark. And Scootaloo… appeared to be a giant robot about to be crushed by an equally giant, slightly more draconic, Rainbow-zilla.

Luna merely brushed one of her wings through each of the open doors, winking to Twilight as she did so. The dreams appeared to ripple as she touched them, transforming each of the elder sisters and sister-figure back to their normal forms, leaving Rarity happily performing community service, Bull-Applejack giving Big Mac and their sister a cart-ride, and Rainbow Dash… also becoming a giant robot with Scootaloo.

The fillies seemed perfectly content with the outcome.

“Sometimes,” Luna lectured, “the mere presence of a friendly force such as We can turn a simple nightmare into a far more pleasant experience. Not every nightmare requires our personal attention.”

“I suppose I’d never stop if I did that,” Twilight nodded, a furious scribbling quill and parchment suspended in her magical aura following her.

Next they passed the Spikes’ dream doors. Spike the dog was currently as tall as a skyscraper, and breathing fire onto a building whose large sign simply read, ‘Mailman Inc’. The other, dragon Spike, was wearing a top hat and spats, swimming in a huge vault full of gems while a dream-Rarity sang a catchy theme song for her “Spikey-Wikey”.

“… or rewrite history, Spiketales!” Twilight hummed as she left her Number One Assistant to his fantasy.

The next door bore a spiraled gold and red sun symbol, Sunset Shimmer’s iconic Cutie Mark. A glance within by Twilight… was an experience, certainly. Inside a brick building she believed was Sunset’s home back in Canterlot City, Sunset appeared as a unicorn. Her hooves were proving an intense handicap in her ability to manipulate the controller of her video game console, and judging by the snarling growls coming from the dream, she was not having fun overcoming this.

“This is a new one,” said Luna, without slowing her stride, “I would hazard Sunset has many questions for herself on her place in this world and ours.”

Twilight sighed, “There’s no easy answer to those, I’m sure.”

Luna nodded, “Indeed. I would normally not intervene until the dream itself became more intense, but even if ‘twere, we have a mission tonight.”

The Princess of Night trotted ahead of Twilight, before suddenly dashing towards a purple door marked by an aquamarine star-shape; Starlight’s mark. Luna glanced inward, briefly, before slamming the door shut with a flicker of magic.

“What was that for?” Twilight asked as she caught up.

Luna fixed her younger friend with a long stare. She seemed to be chewing on an idea, then settled for the truth, “You are not ready for this sort of nightmare.”

Twilight glanced towards the closed door, “Is… is Starlight alright?”

Luna sighed, then turned and continued walking. “I have been observing her dreams ever since she began living with you in Ponyville,” she said, beckoning Twilight to follow with a wave of her wing. “At first, her dreams were troubled and dark. A reflection of the turmoil within her soul. Your friendship with her did wonders for Starlight’s heart and her dreams… but there was always one she revisited.”

The Princess paused, turned back to Twilight, and said despondently, “She hadn’t done so in six moons… until the incident in the Crystal Empire brought her worst fears to life. It is a dream much like my Tantabus… it is meant to punish her for the crimes she feels she’s committed.”

“But,” Twilight stood aghast, “But then we should help her!”

“What do you think I’ve been doing?” Luna leaned in to Twilight’s face to emphasize her words. “Lesson two: there is only so much you can do for another pony. Eventually, they must choose whether to accept your aid or not. I will not abandon her, but Starlight has made it clear she will continue until she feels she has made some amends for her actions with Starswirl’s Time spell.”

With that, the two alicorns continued their journey, this time in total silence.

Luna knew Twilight would agonize over this, but she had already explained the threat of the Incubus which sought her mirror doppelganger’s destruction. If time permitted, Luna would try to speak with Starlight again, but if not, then perhaps Twilight stepping into the role of Dreamwalker may prove a useful tool in healing those wounds.

Perhaps. May. Luna bemoaned her usage of such trivial and unhelpful lexicon. She missed Old Ponish some nights. It may have been as blunt as an ax, but one never mistook an intention voiced. Like an ax, actually.

Before long, an azure door appeared, one decorated with not just a crescent-moon-and-wand Cutie Mark, but was also completely covered in cheap gold and silver stars made of cardboard and sequins. Luna knew from experience that this would be an excellent final lesson before she and Twilight faced their true foe this night.

Luna needed this as well. Pinkie’s concoction gave her energy. But this would give her conviction.

“Tell me, Twilight Sparkle, what do you see in yonder dream?”

Twilight approached the doorway and gazed in. Within the room beyond, she could see silvery mist, tinged in a pale blue light. All within the mist was uncertain, shadows cast through fog, except for a single vision which took up the center of the room. A little foal, with silver and blue mane, and a coat of lovely azure, a dead-ringer for Trixie Lulamoon herself sans cape and wizard hat, lay within a cradling embrace. The forelegs which held her were feminine, and a shade of orange just shy of gold, but Twilight could not otherwise see the mare who held the tiny Trixie.

Twilight told Luna all this.

“Indeed,” Luna said quietly, as though she were afraid to interrupt the dream, “Whenever I can, I always try to visit the dreams of the Great and Powerful Trixie.”

“You do?” Twilight did not look away from her once-rival’s foal-self, “Why?”

Luna smiled, “Many reasons. Partly, I feel a… a kinship with Miss Lulamoon.” When Twilight stared confusedly, and cocked her head to one side, Luna elucidated, “We are both guilty of allowing our jealousy and envy for another guide us down the path of wicked sorcery. And…” she smirked, “both of us were redeemed by a future Princess of Equestria.”

Twilight blushed, then returned her gaze to Trixie as she was rocked back and forth. Luna carefully, carefully reached her horn forward. It touched something, a translucent membrane strung across the doorway, much as she had done for the Crusaders’ dreams. Yet as she did so, Twilight realized she could now hear the dream Trixie was experiencing. **

A voice, light and melodic, a young mother’s voice, carried through the doorway and into the ephemeral halls like a ghostly echo. It was a simple humming tune, a soft and somber set of notes that almost dripped with an ache of the heart. Twilight did not recognize the song, neither its tune nor even the style. And yet the moment her ears felt its first notes, it felt like a twisting knife in her soul. Tears streamed unbidden from her eyes, and she could feel her throat seize.

Luna, however, smiled with her eyes. “Trixie and I share other qualities. This is one of the few memories of her foalhood she can remember. Did you know she can’t remember what her mother looked like?”

Twilight was hard-pressed to hold in a sob as she turned a horrified look to her teacher.

“Neither,” the ancient alicorn continued, “can she recall what she sounded like. This voice is something she has conjured for herself, a combination of Starlight’s voice and her own, to remember the old song her mother gave her. A song only Trixie, myself, Starswirl, and Celestia even remember. Someday I would like to find out how she came by such a thing.

“Regardless,” Luna brushed a single tear from her own eye, “all else Trixie recalls is that her mother could dance, and sing… and that she smelled of Sunflowers...”

“Why?” Twilight managed to get out, “You… visit Trixie’s dreams every night?” From her tone, the princess clearly was not impugning Trixie, but rather simply asking for the reason Luna would deliberately invite such heartache into herself, night after night.

Luna loved to hear Twilight’s empathy, even for one so low and so misguided in their past. “While this dream comes around once in a while, when dear Trixie needs it most, her other dreams are among the most beautiful I have ever seen. Whatever her faults, the last of the Lulamoons always dreams with her whole heart. You should see her firework displays.”

With one hoof, Luna picked Twilight’s chin back up and gazed into her mournful eyes.

“Lesson three: There is beauty in even the lowest of your subjects. Never close your heart, Twilight Sparkle, to sorrow or joy. Love is a rainbow with many shades.”

Wiping her tears, the Princess of Friendship lingered only a moment longer before following her teacher for this evening, leaving Trixie to her dreams. The final haunting strands of a song sung by a forgotten mother, however, would never leave her.

Author's Note:

* Well, this is odd. Apparently, the Lord of Chaos himself has shown up to talk about this interesting bit of trivia- *turns into stone*

Discord: Thank you, Ninja… weirdo…

Discord: Yes! It is I, the Lord of Chaos, the Mayor of Mayonnaise, the Sous of Insanity, Prince of the Shivering Isles, and the… second best Ponyville Hold ‘Em player in existence. Please, hold your applause.

Discord: It’s true what Pinkie said. I once partook of the Ponk, and it changed my life forever. And its high time I revealed to you the true origin… of Discord!

Discord: I was born thousands of years ago, to a lovely pair of Batpony parents.

Discord: Oh… is that so surprising? Yes indeed, the mighty and wonderful Draconequus you see before you was once a humble, though still insufferably handsome and clever, batpony named Dizzy Cordwood.

Discord: Let’s not dwell on the name. Suffice to say, pony names are still the craziest thing I’ve ever come across. And I’ve met myself before! So, as I was saying, I was a Batpony… who wanted to learn about magic!

Discord: I studied hard, so hard that I actually learned how to cast spells without a unicorn horn. I was a bit of a prodigy, after all! Starswirl himself made me a Professor at his School of Magic, where I helped to instruct Celestia and Luna both.

Discord: They still haven’t turned in that last paper I assigned. I might have to drop a giant banana sundae on Sunbutt, just to remind her.

Discord: Anyway, during one spring break, while Starswirl was off with the Pillars doing… Pillar things. Did they do a lot of flexing and weight-training? No, wait, they were vampires, weren’t they? Bah! Eternal memories aren’t what they’re cracked up to be, let me tell you!

Discord: Where was I…? Oh, yes. During Spring Break, I met a time-traveling Pinkie. She and I spent a whole summer together (I may have lost track of time). We grew close, very close! But then, tragedy struck.

Discord: A piano fell on my head. I still think Luna took her pranks too far. Especially when she should have been working on that summer reading project (“Don’t Be Evil” by Scorpan, very informative… wish I could remember where I put my copy…).

Discord: Well, I was not long for this world after that. I had only another three or four decades, modern medicine being what it was and the piano in question being a squeaky toy.

Discord: Pinkie generously offered me a swig of the Ponk, which would heal me of my… injuries. And once it touched my lips, the Ponk transformed me!

Discord: Instantly, I became the astounding creature you see before you today. I erased Pinkie’s memories (who could tell?) and sent her back to her own time. Then, I went back to the beginning of everything, and added my sketches to the original design documents for Season 2, thus ensuring via Paradox that I would always be me!

Discord: And that, ladies and gentlecolts, it how the magnificent Discord came to be!

Discord: Ooh! Thank you for the opportunity to get that off my chest, Ninja… I do so love to play the Unreliable Narrator.

Discord: Say… did I ever tell you how I got these scars…?


** It sounds a little like this.