• Published 5th Oct 2019
  • 1,653 Views, 44 Comments

Too Young To Change - dicerollball



There is a phrase that many young creatures know even years after the defeat of three well-known villains. "Don't be like another Cozy Glow" Two friends who call themselves as troubling as the filly herself get together to change Equestria.

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Chapter 4: Care To Share

Several Years Ago

"Come on Ginseng, you coward!" My older brother yelled from above, "You can't just sit in there forever!"

My broodmates, both small nymphs with black chitin just like me, were staring down with wide arctic blue eyes. I couldn't move a muscle. I looked longingly towards the exit of the burrow I managed to crawl myself into where my siblings sat waiting for me on the other end. No matter how much they tried to convince me to move I just couldn't get up for the life of me.

"Give her some time..." My younger sister urged, "It's okay Ginseng..! It looks safe."

"O-Oh that's VERY reassuring!" I whimpered as I covered my head underneath my hole riddled hooves.

I was just a tiny youngling from the hive. I was unreformed but so were my brother and sister. Though from the notable glimmering on my sister's transparent wings it wouldn't be long before she joined the others. Her name is Sage. She's shy but sweet and loves to make otherlings smile. Often times she would do everything in her power to make me and my brother happy. For this we both agreed on an oath to protect Sage and her innocence for as long as the sun itself. My brother's name is Chamomile by the way. He's a bit of a brute and really rude, except towards our little sister, but I'm used to that by now. In fact you can say insulting each other is our favorite past time. He's very protective of me but wouldn't hesitate to push me off a waterfall if given the chance. Despite our differences though we always seemed to manage to compromise and find ways to hang out with one another (Mostly due to Sage being our mediator). Today we were explorers and we were on the hunt for all the nooks and crannies the lustrous, growing hive could offer us. Being small we were able to get into places no grown changeling would usually find. Sadly that includes rabbit holes...
We never meant to get into a situation like this. In fact I was usually known as the daring one alongside my brother. However once I managed to squeeze my way through the burrow I found myself freezing up as I sat in the narrow tunnel. Oh geez... What if it fell on me?? What if it all collapsed? Were the walls closing in on me? Great Thorax I think I'm hyperventilating!

"Just transform into a rabbit, it's not that hard!" Chamomile impatiently huffed.

"What do rabbits look like again???" I questioned as my body curled in on itself.

"They're white, fluffy, small, and-" Sage began before our brother interrupted.

"Ugh! Looks like we're forced to get the big guns! He'll know what to do!" He rolled his eyes (though it was really hard to tell if he did) and marched off in a huff.

Sage's shimmering blue wings hummed behind her as she looked back down at me, "Don't worry! He'll be back soon... Maybe. Are you okay?"

"No!" I admitted as my body shook in fear.

As we waited for Chamomile my little sister continued to try and coax me out of the hole I had gotten myself stuck in. I still refused. After a while our brother soon appeared again but with someone else alongside him. I was sniffling into my hole-riddled hooves when the burrow became darker. I looked to see a colorful purple changeling with wide blue eyes staring down at me. His name was Charoite.

The caretaker chuckled, “Haha... Ginseng you little grub, what’re you doing down there?” He backed away so sunlight could pour back down into the hole.

“Sightseeing...” I whimpered out.

“Scared and still making jokes?” The other smiled.

“Weirdo!” My brother stuck his lashing tongue out at me.

“Now Chamomile don’t be rude.” Charoite lightly nudged the small nymph away.

“Is she going to be alright?” Sage’s small voice gently asked.

“Well this is something she has to do on her own Sage... so get comfortable, this might take a moment.” Chaorite laid down besides the burrow’s entrance, “Now Ginseng I want you to know I’m looking at where you are right now. It’s not going to fall, okay?”

“How do you know it won’t??” I questioned as my eyes peered up at the dirt ceiling.

“Experience. Now stop staring at the dirt and just focus on me instead. Focus on my voice.”

I tried to, but my mind still went to the narrow tunnel I was trapped in, “The- The walls are closing in on me!”

“No they aren’t.” Chaorite assured, “It just feels like that. Would it help if I joined you?”

“M-Maybe? I don't know! Just don’t move too much!”

“Okay. I’ll be there in a second.” From down below I could hear the sound a changeling makes when they transformed. Though it was always quick and quiet I can’t help but be reminded of scurrying beetle legs every time some changeling shifts into another creature. It was enough to calm me down a bit but Chaorite’s new form by itself had entirely caught me for a loop. I couldn’t help but smile and giggle as he crawled into the small space as a tiny grey kitten with a purple bow around its neck.

“You’re a cat!” I beamed as he curled up my side.

“And now I can better convince you from here. Ahem,” He cleared his throat, prepped himself, and opened his wide blue eyes with the most cutest face I’ve ever seen, “Ginseng, can you please leave the burrow? Pretty pleaaaaase???” Chaorite begged as he pawed at my face.

I let out a surprised laugh and covered my snout, “Okay okay! Just stop! It’s too much!” I fell into hysterics as I slowly made my way out of the rabbit’s hole. I was laughing so much that my fears were long forgotten.

Chamomile and Sage looked down in surprise before they both fell to the floor laughing once Chaorite had crawled out of the small space along with me. We were unable to get back up as the kitten began to make up the most derpiest cat faces he could manage.
Despite being stuck in a rabbit’s burrow most of the time, I was having one of the best moments in my life.
Chaorite soon joined us and shifted back into his original form. He was laughing and clutching his stomach as he laid down besides his three brood.

“Ahah... aw. You’re all adorable.” He chuckled as he wrapped his hooves around the little nymphs.

Sage let out a giggle, “We love you too, Chaorite!” She piped in as she snuggled up against their caretaker.

“Bleugh...” Chamomile stuck his tongue out in disgust, “Yeah... I guess we do.”

I muffled my laugh in my hole-riddled hooves and nuzzled Chaorite, "Thank you for saving me!"

"It... It was no problem, my little grub." He shakily smiled. I perked at this and thought I could catch a hint of hesitance in the other's expression.

"Chaorite? Are you alright?" I asked, almost nervously.

"Yeah. Everything's fine." The changeling assured, "Especially since I'm with the ones I love."

Then, he pulled away...


Present Day

My gaze was glued to the tiled kitchen floor beneath me. I was quietly leaning against the back door that separated me from my caretaker and our king. Words remained caught in my throat as I tried to find some way to approach. For the time being, I couldn’t. No matter how much I pushed myself to stand up and act I found myself instead frozen in place. All I could do now was listen. I really shouldn’t, especially since the conversation I was eavesdropping on involved King Thorax himself, but I didn’t know what else to do. Right now, my own presence here felt wrong but necessary, I needed to be here.

“Take deep breaths...” Thorax comforted the smaller changeling by his side, “I’m sure you don’t mean that-“

My caretaker cried out, “I do! I can’t do this anymore. She’s draining me of my love every second we’re together and sooner or later she’s going to try to take all of it! Earlier today she didn’t even ask! She just took most of it because she was hungry.”

“Okay, that is serious.” The king admitted, “But why would she be hungry enough to do something like that? In your reports you’ve told me she’s made friends.”

“Well that’s what she always says...” Panax grumbled, “But I’ve never even seen them! And from the looks of it she isn’t sharing her love for them either.”

“And what about the love you provide her? If you care about her enough wouldn’t your presence alone be enough to sustain her? She doesn’t always have to drain love like that if there’s enough of it around her.”

The other stiffened at Thorax’s question, “W-Well it’s just... it’s tiring. I needed a break from her. I have a lot of work to do-“

A hint of concern escaped the king, “Panax...”

“She- Ginseng needed to learn somehow! I thought this would be the best way to do that...”

“So you didn’t feed her?”

“.... I uh.” Panax hesitated.

“Panax. I understand how draining this all is. I understand if you want Ginseng to reform faster, but she’s still a youngling. We have to feed her while she figures everything out. You can’t just starve her like that!”

“I-I didn’t starve her!” Panax lied, “I just needed a break and I thought her friend’s love would be enough-“

It was then I found my strained but bitter voice, “Liar!” I dropped my disguise to reveal my true form before jumping up from behind the door to come face to face with a surprised Panax and King Thorax, “You did starve me! You told me that I was hindering you and your work! You kept away in hopes that I’d make enough friends with randos on the streets so my wings would change and sparkle! Well guess what. They didn’t!” I gestured to my plain transparent blue wings just before they started angrily buzzing behind me.
“And I’m no closer to figuring out friendship as much as I’m figuring out how you’re planning to abandon me just like Charoite did!

Thorax’s rosey eyes looked down at me with worry, “Ginseng...”

“I- Ginseng sweetie, how much did you hear?” Panax turned to me with a look of shock still plastered on her face.

“Drop the act! I heard you already, you don’t care for me anymore. Geez, I know I took your love but I didn’t take all of it!”

“Ginseng that’s enough!” Thorax commanded, “Panax... can you please wait for us in the living room?”

“Me?” She asked before looking back and forth between me and the king.

“There’s still a lot we need to discuss but right now I’d like to talk to Ginseng. Alone.” The taller changeling turned his head towards me.

After a pause Panax finally gave him a nod, “A-Alright...” Then quietly slipped away. With one more concerned glance she disappeared into the home. From there it was just the two of us. I was out in a cold evening on a dimly lit porch with none other than King Thorax himself by my side. Most would feel honored... I didn't. His gaze was leveled and cool but it was clear that he had a lot to say. Who wouldn’t after a fiasco like that?

“Ginseng, come sit by me.” He insisted with a hoof gesturing to a spot besides him.

After some hesitation I soon made my way to King Thorax’s side to sit on the porch’s hard wooden floor. Up above us the stars were beginning to twinkle into existence as the night sky darkened in color. Chimes rang out as a gentle breeze brushed through the neighborhood while crickets began to chirp within the wet grass they all loved to hide in. What a peaceful night it looked to be... but the current changeling household knew better. It felt like one word could set this lovely home ablaze at any moment if spoken wrong. I could tell that Thorax, too, knew he had to tread carefully for what he wanted to say next.

“Ginseng... What you did today was really bad. I had come to Canterlot to visit and this is the first thing I hear? You can’t do that to any creature, especially your own caretaker!”

I bowed my head in shame, “I know. I’m sorry Thorax.”

“It’s Panax you should be saying sorry to.” The older changeling sighed, “She shouldn’t have done what she did either but both of you are at fault for this.”

“I didn’t take all her love..!” I argued.

He seemed to tense at this, “That doesn’t make it any better!” Then with a small breath the king managed to relax, “Listen... We need to figure something out. While some younglings take time reforming you are still the only one who hasn’t yet. Your broodmates have all reformed, what’s keeping you from sharing love too?”

“...” I didn’t seem to have a response for that.

A silence seemed to trickle in between the both of us. The king let out a sigh and turned his gaze to the rising crescent moon above, “... You know, you kinda remind me of my brother in a way.” Thorax decided to add in.

“Pharynx?” I questioned, “How?”

“He refused to change.” The king smiled, “He hated the reformation process at first. In fact back then he preferred all of us to look and act like how we did in the ‘good old days’ he liked to call them. He was so stubborn about the time when we were all love-sucking parasites that he remained one of the last changelings to reform for a long while.”

“He doesn’t sound like me.”

“Well of course not exactly like you but... he had a lot of love for the pack. You have a lot of love too, don’t you? It’s in there somewhere, just waiting to be let out.” Thorax gently placed a hoof over where my heart would be, “Pharynx soon figured out that his love can be shared. He cared for the hive and he wanted to show it. It wasn’t just about reformation, it was about him. It was about his own emotions... and he chose to let it out.”

I blinked at this and looked down at where my heart would be. My hoof rested against my chest as I smiled at a certain thought, but that smile soon fell. I exhaled and just shook my head, “I can’t...”

Thorax pulled his hoof away and calmly considered me. There was this strangely comfortable pause that seem to ripple between the both of us. He kept quiet to let the sounds of the chirping night and the smell of lingering mildew fill our senses. It was soothing and peaceful. Something I felt I really needed, “Is this about your last caretaker? Chaorite?” He asked after a fair pause.

I stiffened at this.

The king took notice, “I understand why you don’t trust others because of what he did, but you shouldn’t let his mistakes affect you.”

A daunting feeling re-emerged from Thorax’s words. The mention of Charoite made my heart twist and churn with this familiarly pained feeling of stabbing sorrow and hate, “... Can I go now?” I felt absolutely deflated. My burning anger from before had long diminished to make way for exhaustion and drowsiness. I wanted nothing more but to turn away and find a place to sleep. Preferably far away from this house that may not be my home by tomorrow. Just looking at it now made me bitter.

“No... not just yet,” Thorax sighed, “I want to talk about what might happen afterwards if Panax doesn’t change her mind.”

I froze on my way to the door and stared at the changeling leader.

He stared back, “I’m sorry, but we have to talk about it.”

I whirled around, “But the next caretaker will just leave me too. What’s the point?”

“The point is I’m not leaving a youngling on her own.” Thorax insisted, “Especially one who needs love and care!”

“Princess Twilight thinks I’ll do fine on my own.” I found myself grumbling.

The older changeling blinked, confused, “Huh? What do you mean by that?”

“I mean she wants me to enroll in her Friendship School... and she wants me to stay there.”

“What??” Thorax perked up at this, “I mean- the school could be good for you sure but... I don’t think you’re ready for that yet. Why does she want you enrolled into it all of a sudden? Is it because you’re not reformed yet??? I can understand the concern but-“

“No no no. It’s not because of that. I... I played a few pranks along with my new friend. Princess Twilight thought sending me to the friendship school would be a fair punishment.”

“And she was just okay with that?” Thorax blinked in surprised disbelief.

“Well, she did want me to ask Panax first. If you or her don’t want me to go because of my condition you could always... tell...” I paused as a thought crossed my mind. If Thorax were to tell Twilight about the truth behind my disguise who’d know how she’d react??? Who’d know what she’d do?? Who'd know what Thorax would do??? I wasn't scared of Thorax as much as Twilight but... My mouth firmly closed shut as I stared wide-eyed at the somber garden before me. The darkness seemed welcoming with the promise of hidden safety while the light only revealed the looming changeling standing before me. Instead of cowering however I swallowed my anxiousness and did what I did best, adapt, “But... but I think it’s fine, really. I have a friend going the same time I’m supposed to.”

“Well. It’s nice to hear you’re making friends at least... but this is still serious. Is their love enough for you? Are you sharing love back? That’s part of the process, you know. By giving love to one another... things will get better for you. For the both of you.” The king assured, “Friendship is a slow process too. And if you don’t start showing visible signs of change other creatures might not have the best first Impression of the changeling you are. The changeling you could be. I don’t think you’re ready for the School of Friendship, but do you think you are?”

“...” I sighed, “I don’t want another caretaker.” I found myself saying, “I want to be with my friends.”

“Then... then if you're confident this is what you need I guess that’s the best place for you to start.” Thorax hesitantly agreed, “It’s either the school or the hive, really... and you didn’t seem to do too well in the hive. But if I can convince Panax to care for you a bit longer, you have to stay here in Canterlot with her, okay?”

I flinched but begrudgingly agreed, “Okay...”

Finally we both left the brisk porch and entered the small home. Making my way in I felt this strange dullness. Lanterns were lit in the corners of the house but most were snuffed out and turned into faint wisps of smoke. Though there was the soft blue glow of luminous stones we've collected from the hive sitting in a basket on the kitchen counter everything still felt lackluster and faded. The whole home was dim even with the fireplace attempting to light its embers through the dark. It seems that for tonight nothing could make this place bright enough again. Even then me and the king headed into the small living room where we heard the soft plucks of a lyre as Panax quietly played to herself. She sat on the divan playing the most beautiful music she'd usually produced with only the candelight around her to make her figure known. With eyes closed she didn’t even take notice of us at first until Thorax had cleared his throat.

“Oh! You two are done...” She slowly lowered the instrument and placed it off to the side.

“That’s right. Now I know you both must be tired so let’s try and make this quick, okay?” The king warmly smiled before seating himself in the ottoman nearby.

I went to sit on the couch next to Panax but it was clear by the way she shifted in her seat that she did not want to be anywhere near me. I gave her a glance and edged myself closer to the armrest on my side. I know I hurt her. I know what I did was wrong. However I felt it was deserved. What Panax did was horrible, plain and simple. You don't starve a youngling.

Thorax seemed to take notice of the tension between us and decided to try and cut through it, "Ginseng, don't you have something to say?"

I perked at this, "But-"

"Ginseng..."

I grunted and turned towards my... possibly soon-to-be ex-caretaker, "I'm sorry for taking your love without asking first." I wanted to grumble and groan but I had to make it sound genuine. We'd be here forever if I didn't at least try to sound apologetic enough.

Panax seemed to relax and gave me a sad smile, "Ah... Thank you for the apology, Ginseng. I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have left you like that... but I don't think this is going to work out."

I felt my gaze burn into the other as I gestured for to her elaborate some more with the wave of my hole-riddled hoof.

"It's just... I heard your story and I wanted to fix what happened to you. I wanted to help you and your brother Chamomile! I did all I could. Chamomile was able to reform but... you never did. And he didn't even reform with my help! He got someone else... I just feel like-like as if I was just making things worst," Panax continued, "Maybe... Maybe you don't need me. I don't want to give up on you, Ginseng. I really don't. But I can't do this anymore. I can't juggle my love for you, my friends, and my work. I'm sorry."

A part of me would've wanted to scream. I would've wanted to cry and shout and sob. I would've been heartbroken... but instead, I was just reminded of something else. Instead of feeling my heart crack; there was this bitter barrier that wrapped itself around my soul and froze it from the inside out. I felt it grow colder and harsher. Instead of bawling my eyes out as I once expected I just stared. I intently listened to what she said but my mind whirled with other thoughts. One of those thoughts quietly whispered that I could've done much worst if I wanted to...
I lowered my head and rested my chin against the arm rest. My blank blue eyes looked to Thorax expectantly.

"... I was hoping you wouldn't say that, Panax. I don't want to do this but from the sounds of it you both need it." He then turned towards me with a concerned gaze, "I'm either going to have to arrange responsibility to another changeling... or put you in the hooves of Twilight Sparkle and her school of friendship in Ponyville."

"Princess Twilight?" Panax questioned, "What does she have to do with all this?"

"Apparently Ginseng has been causing a lot of trouble." Thorax narrowed his eyes in disapproval, "Enough trouble to get Princess Twilight's attention. She wants Ginseng to enroll in the school of friendship. I'm a bit concerned about the idea though but... if Twilight thinks she can help Ginseng's case and believes that this school could reform her then I guess I can trust her on that."

Both me and Panax suddenly perked our ears. We gave each other an uncertain glance (Out of spite or out of chance?) before our king continued with a sigh, "I still feel like I should talk to her first before we make any decisions. Personally, I think you should come back to the hive." The taller changeling insisted, “It’s safer for you there.”

“But I’m not happy there...” My voice solemnly sounded, “And I definitely won’t be happy later. That place... every time I walk through it... all it reminds me of is... him.” I had to hold back a giggle that threatened to escape me.

“Ah...” Thorax shifted in his seat, “Then maybe the hive is not the best option...” After that a soft lull seemed to drift through the home. Silence hushed us and made way for this uncomfortable silence that followed the leader’s words. There was understanding in what he said, but now the choices he grasped for had felt even more heavy than before. So heavy that those around him could feel his uncertain hesitance.

Then, among the quiet my ex-caretaker finally broke through the tension, “... I think we should get some shut eye.” Panax announced as she got up from the divan, “King Thorax, you can have my room for tonight if you want. I’ll take the couch.”

He shook a hoof in the air, “No no, it’s fine. I’ll take the couch.”

As the two went back and forth on who gets what I quietly slipped away and went to climb the stairs to my room. It's not my room anymore. As much as I didn't want to stay in this house any longer I admittedly needed some rest. It was too late to go running off elsewhere. However I wasn't able to go far before Thorax called my name.

"Ginseng, wait. I've decided to stick around a bit longer so in the morning I'll be going up to the castle. I want you two to talk first though. Panax, if you're still certain about..." He paused and gave me a concerned glance, "About leaving Ginseng in someone else's care then... then send her to the Canterlot castle. I'll watch over her. We'll collect her stuff depending on where she goes afterwards. Are you both alright with that?"

"Right. Of course." Panax muttered as she stared down at the floor.

Why talk? It's useless. "... Yeah." I flicked an ear towards the two reformed changelings, "I'm going to bed now."

Panax gave me a concerned glance while Thorax calmly smiled, "Goodnight Ginseng."

"Goodnight... Thorax." I replied but made sure not to give my ex-caretaker much thought. I headed to my bedroom and considered the green mucus that were stuck to the walls. I tried to imagine this place empty. A room without me and without the goo. I saw it after we moved in, so I definitely can recall the image. However at the time when I first saw this room so barren I was excited to get to work on it and to make it look like me. I could do anything with it! Panax at that moment, though hesitant, didn't really mind what I did. Now however? Now the thought of it being empty made something bubble up inside me. Something... resentful.
After shutting the door behind me I inhaled, raised a hoof, and abruptly smashed through one of the old, empty cocoons. I was working on this raging autopilot that began to destroy the nest around me. I tore down lines of slime that covered the room and ripped the curtains to pieces. I pulled glued-in items out from the ceiling and tossed them to the floor. I broke open several other cocoons containing animals and let them all escape into the night through my window. I did everything to try and destroy what made me a changeling in this home. Only when I tugged the mirror out from the emerald gunk, lit my horn to meet my reflection with its eerie glow, and smashed the reflective glass into little broken pieces did I finally stop. My breathing was heavy and my dazed, teary eyes stared down at the broken image of myself underneath me. After a pause that felt longer than it really was I slowly made my way up to my bed and cautiously climbed into it. I heard one of the changelings rushing up the steps but didn't bother to raise my head from my pillow as they entered.

"Ginseng?! What're you doing up here?" Panax questioned as she made her way into the room while carefully avoiding the glass shards, "Did you break your mirror by throwing it off the wall??"

"Hah. No, I did that myself." I sadly chuckled.

I could tell by her scornful look that she didn't entirely believe me, "Ginseng! I can't believe you're acting like this! Especially with King Thorax visiting us!"

"Is it really that much of a surprise..?" I muttered and buried my face in my cushions. I really wanted her to just shut up.

"You're not really convincing me to keep caring for you, you know that right?" She fluttered up to my bedside and frowned down at me.

"Well maybe I don't want to convince you." I sat up and returned the glare, "Maybe I want to be as far away from you as possible. But you know, at least there's something good out of all this."

Panax gave an astonished blink, "What could be good about any of this?"

I stared at my ex-caretaker, smirked, and stood up in my bed so we were both eye level, "Let me tell you." Though difficult from the distance I still was able to use my magic to shut the door nearby, "You're cornered. And you know it. No matter what, you're not going to have a good reputation after all this, are you? Not just from the hive but... maybe from the audience as well?"

The older changeling perked up at this and nervously took a step back, "... Listen this behavior is uncalled for but- I was actually hoping to talk to you about something like that, Ginseng. Not about my reputation but about what happens afterwards. But why is that a good thing? Nothing about that sounds good."

"It's good for me." I chuckled, "Not for you."

She looked taken aback, "Ginseng-"

"I saw that look you gave me after Thorax said he wanted to talk to Twilight about my reformation." I began as my wings buzzed behind me and plucked me up into the air, "Granted I didn't like that at first... I wouldn't want to talk to anypony, especially the princess, about something like that. However... it gave me an idea. I could use it against you. I could make you care for me. It would've been so easy."
My wings would help me circle around the older changeling as my eyes blankly stared back at her frightened gaze.
"King Thorax would hate to have been lied to, wouldn't he~? The hive and creatures of Canterlot? How dare you hide something like that from them?"

Panax seemed to get the picture, "Ginseng we don't have to do that. He doesn't have to know- if... I guess if you still want me to care for you here in Canterlot I could but..."

"Oh. No. I don't want that anymore." I growled as I stopped just behind Panax, "I don't want your love. I don't want your care. I don't want anything from you anymore... All I want now is revenge. I want to leave. But I'm afraid someling is going to have to take the blame for what comes next~"

My ex-caretaker whirled around to face me, "But the fake metamorphosis wasn't my idea! It was yours!"

"Was it?" I leered before hovering back over to the door, "Maybe I'll hold back from telling the rest of Canterlot about your failure and your lies if you get the dustpan and help me clean this up."

"Wha- but... you- You can't-" The older changeling looked about in distress.

I showed off my fangs and spoke in a surprisingly polite tone, "I'm so sorry for the mess, Panax. I won't do it again. Promise." I smiled innocently as I opened the door and gestured her towards it. Just like another Cozy Glow.

Panax was stunned. I could tell from her expression that when she came up here to scold me she didn't expect anything like this. She didn't expect for me to act in such a way when she first came up here. All the more reason for her to jump ship I suppose. If she didn't want to tend to me before she definitely didn't want to now. I didn't care. I was entirely done with Panax. I wanted to move on. Now I just had to wait for her to as well.

After a silent pause that flickered between the both of us we suddenly heard King Thorax calling from down below, "Is everything alright up there Panax?"

She hesitated and looked down at the glass, "... Yeah. Yeah! Everything is fine. Liar. Ginseng accidentally bumped into her mirror! I'm going to help her clean it up!" Panax assured as she flew out of the room to find what she needed. Her eyes refused to look at me as she instead focused on getting the task done.

I glared at the hallway outside and hovered back over to my bed. Now that I stopped to look at it my room had become a disastrous mess of what it once was. Not only had I broken through cocoons and tore down goo, I also knocked several things to the ground from the walls and shelves. Anything I could find that wasn't heavy or firmly stuck against the slime was inevitably thrown to the floor. An old participation trophy, several framed photos, books, and etc. I didn't give much of these items any thought except when I looked over and noticed that one framed photo that usually sat on my drawer next to my bed had gone missing. Panicked, I tossed my blankets and frantically searched the floor. It wasn't until I looked under the bedstead that I found it. An image of me, Sage, and Chamomile all smiling together as we celebrated our 13th birthday within the hive. Or at least- 13th in changeling years. I was the only one unreformed compared to the other two. Sage was a green and pink changeling with no tail or horn but still as cheery without them. Chamomile meanwhile now had blue colors along his exoskeleton with fiery orange eyes. He was attempting to noogie me in this photo with one of his hooves as I tried to stuff cake against his face. I held the photo in my hole-riddled grasp, sighed, and placed it inside what was meant to be my Canterlot schoolbag.
How nice the reformation must've felt for them. Maybe someday I'll join them.
But at this point I don't think I even deserve something like that.


Morning had come. Thorax had already left to the castle the moment the sun began to rise over the horizon. I woke up much later and didn't bother to try and find Panax. I packed as much as I could carry and left through the window in my metamorphosis to avoid seeing her again. If she understood my threat she'd know that I wanted to leave. I didn't want to be a part of her life at all.
Instead of heading to the castle my wings automatically took me back to the public gardens. I gave the guards a small glance of recognition before passing them and following the usual path to the more horrifying section of the gardens. I lead myself right up to the same statue me and Gimmick would usually go to. The three villains... Her back was towards me so she didn't even seem to notice my approach.

"So you see, it doesn't make sense." Gimmick rattled on towards the statue as she buried her nose in a book, "My history class goes on about how the bell was smashed- but from what I heard from Discord the long lost legend says the bell was unbreakable! That's why Gusty the Great hid it away! Maybe if I could just figure out where its new location is... If I could just get my hooves on an artifact like that... I would- I would..."

"What would you do?" I found myself asking in a surprisingly monotone voice.

"Ah!" Gimmick jumped in surprised and pressed her book against her chest, "I wasn't talking to a statue!"

"I don't think you're crazy." I quickly assured her, "Remember? I know they're conscious in there."

"Oh Ginseng... it's just you..." The filly sighed in relief, "Don't scare me like that!"

"Interested in the bell?" I asked as I went to sit next to her.

"Of course. I think it's still out there... If Grogar wanted it, it must've been very powerful. If the three almost conquered the world with it then clearly they did something with it. Something that made even Cozy Glow a threat! I want to find it. But to find it we need information. Which means we need to start searching, now! Before the princess takes us away from here! The Canterlot Castle could be a good place to start. I heard there might be a restriction section hidden somewhere within it... or in the city itself." She grasped her notepad in her magical hold and began to scribble something down, "We could start in the public library I guess but I think our chances are better in the castle... Now if only we could find a way in without raising too much suspicion..."

I stared at Gimmick for a silent moment as she scrawled something down on the yellowish pages, "... I found a way in."

She suddenly dropped her notepad, "You did??"

"Yeah. King Thorax visited. I'm to stay with him until he decides what to do with me. And guess where he's staying?" Without breaking eye contact I raised a hoof and pointed it towards the castle.

Gimmick blinked at me in surprise, "You're- you're going to stay in the castle?!" A bright smile then appeared on her face, "GINNY THIS IS PERFECT!!" She pressed her hooves against my cheeks and happily squealed.

"Ah- okay. Get off me." I grunted (Should I smile?) and pushed my accomplice's forelegs away.

"Oh my gosh- and the princess won't even suspect a thing! HaHA!" She laughed out as she clapped her hooves together.

"If you keep laughing like a maniac some creature is definitely going to notice." I huffed.

"Okay. Listen." Gimmick hopped up in front of my face and pulled out her notepad, "I have a plan. It's so simple but it might. Just. Work. Are you ready? Okay. Here it goes... You invite me to a sleepover."

"A sleepover..." I hummed in consideration.

"Yes. A sleepover in the castle." She smirked with wide, sparkling green eyes. Eugh since when can ponies do THAT?

"That could work."

"Yeah! And no creature will ever expect something like this from us! What with me being an honest little filly and you being a love-bug then maybe we could explore the castle with no trouble and-"

"Ooh... Actually. There's one problem to that plan." I chuckled.

Gimmick's smile fell and her voice spat out through gritted teeth, "What problem?"

"Careful. Your Cozy Glow side is showing." I giggled into my hooves before walking up to the statue, "I'm not keeping this disguise for much longer. I'm afraid everyone is going to know what I am very soon." I explained as I stopped just underneath Chrysalis's lunging form.

"What?!" Gimmick jumped up at that, "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean that unlike some changelings and those from the hive, King Thorax doesn't know the whole truth. I faked my own metamorphosis during my time in Canterlot with Panax and if I want to stay in the castle with him and Princess Twilight for the couple of weeks we have left... then I can't hide this anymore." I smiled as I relinquished my disguise. The metamorphosis fell apart before Gimmick in a more surreal way then usual. It looked to be like it was melting right off of my body. I began to destroy it. I crumbled it up and scattered the pieces into bits of flaky, unnecessary changeling magic. Leftovers they will now become and broken pieces they will forever be. I now wore my darker self with pride and shredded the old disguise in my mind. This was who I was. This was who I will be. Two caretakers had made it so. The only thing that didn't disappear however were the three gemstones still on my head. Not a permanent part of me... but a part of the disguise I decided to keep. My long tongue flicked against my fangs and my transparent wings buzzed behind me.
"I will tell him the truth... and string up a new lie for him later~"

Author's Note:

Sometimes even the character can't tell their own story truthfully.

Also Ginseng wasn't supposed to shed her disguise like this yet but I wrote it and I felt this was a good moment for it and just gjnfiogurnhiugrui I had to.
I MEAN SHE WAS RIGHT UNDERNEATH QUEEN CHRYSALIS!

Anyways time to get some dark ancient artifact that may or may not cause a little bit of future trouble and chaos~ :ajsmug: