• Member Since 27th Jul, 2018
  • offline last seen Yesterday

JetXPegasusWWN


Just a new brony who wants to share his stories with every-pony.

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“I wish it didn’t had to end like this... but I can’t take it anymore...”

At the last moments before taking his life: squeal tank writes a note to all his loved ones and every-pony at ponyville. Thanking them for all they’ve done for him and how much he’ll miss them.


Written by JetXPegasusWWN

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 5 )

Well, a good way to star the day...

So, this no name OC that you only learn about in their suicide note is somehow friends with most of the main cast, yet still somehow wants to take their own life?

Leap in tone aside, who the fuck is this? I don't know this pony, I don't feel anything for them. As shitty as this makes me sound, thousands of people off themselves daily. People with actual families, friends, hopes, dreams, ambitions, etc. You can't just write a suicide note, attach it to a name and expect people to feel bad for them because they offed themselves for reasons. Speaking of no-name OCs with literally nothing to them, who's Auntie-May? Is that some sort of half-baked Spiderman reference or was that a genuine attempt at a different character to "apologise" to?

Also how the fuck does it take a month to find a horse corpse in the Everfree? Like, that place is fucking tamed now and that should be one of the first places you should be looking considering the reputation it has. Even barring the predators who live in there, by the time Big Mac would have found the body, it would have decomposed to unrecognisable levels, probably even starting to liquefy. I was eating a hotpot while researching that. You're welcome.

Also this suicide note itself leaves much to be desired. It almost feels padded for the sake of hitting an arbitrary word count, but I can't place a reason as to why. Sarcasm aside, the epilogue was actually pretty funny. "Dear Princess Celestia: I found a fucking corpse! Love you!" It's another massive tonal shift for the sake of padding out the story another 90 words and it's sorta sad.

Wasted potential is the name of the game here. I'm more depressed at the fact that this is just a suicide note rather than the thoughts and feelings of this no name OC as they slowly make the choice to end it all. Seeing the world from their perspective as they realize their crippling lonliness day in, day out without end. Their anxeity at doing the wrong thing pushing what few friends he has away while becoming ever more desperate for something to change.

I'm not projecting, you're projecting! That aside, this really is just 1000 words of meh. Another story destined to be forgotten, much like Squeal-Tank himse- WAIT HIS NAME IS SQUEAL TANK HOLY SHIT AHAHAHHAHAHAHA

I can get why this got more dislikes than likes, you had a topic that was great, though you executed it a bit poorly; though i'm sure if you keep writing you'll get better at slowly writing up the plot.

9884116

Yeah, I know. I’m still trying to better my writing but stuck on writers block

9837719
Yes, we can all say this story wasn't thought out all the way through, cut him some slack; most people on here are amateur writers of people who want to try it out.

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