Have you ever woke up one morning and when you walked into your kitchen you find an orange Alicorn mare, who claims to be the daughter of Princess Celestia from another universe and needs the help of you and your friends to fight an evil dragon/gargoyle hybrid who took over that version of Equestria? No? I didn't think so. Well, that happend to me one morning.
Hi I'm Seth Disarmonia. Rainbow Dash's boyfriend and creation of Discord. This is the story of my adventure into another world. Traveling and fighting along side my closest friends and me learning how far I will go to protect them.
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This is a muti-part side story of my story Spawn of Disharmony. It would be best to read that first if you haven't already. As for it's spin-off, More Stories Featuring Seth, there might be some continuity from that story brought up in the future, but it's not 100% necessary.
It seems a bit rushed in my eyes, and you should put one more space in between dialog.
But that's just me
1088223 I guess I could try that only if I can still have a conversation between two characters without having to write "so and so said" every time someone spoke because I find that unnecessary. Plus I can't think of many other words that can replace the word "said."
1088855 Man I talk stupid sometimes
I meant hit 'Enter' one more time, sorry
1088900 Oh no I understood what you meant.
Stick him in the DEATH BATTLE and lets see how that turns out.
1418841 I have sent his stats to RL Yoshi and he said that he really likes my character, so I guess there's a good chance that we'll see Seth in the tournament.
1419649 I have already entered my character and I'm not taking any chances, so may the best man (or mare) win. No mercy!
1419807 Indeed, Good luck to us both.
“So, wait are Diamond Dogs really seen like this by the Equestrian populus? Huh, I guess my speech against Inferno was inaccurate.” I say to myself before I close the book and put it back under “E”.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! I SAY!
1475027 I assume that that's referring Pinkie's line "It was under EEEEEEEE."
But if no one got what I was implying in that line basically Seth was reading "Echo the Diamond Dog."
1475651 No, it was referring to this:
1475666 I was kinda right.
1475681 Close enough.
This Fight was a great big disappointment. So was the last fight.
Drez and Inferno worst fanfic villians ever!!!
Why was Inferno was a threat again?
You could have made them at least a bit harder to fight.
But who am I to say? I still enjoy your fic, just try not make it anti-climatic on the next ones.
1509205 Yeah I agree with you on that. I guess action scenes just aren't my strong suit.
To answer your question about Inferno I was originally going to make a spin-off series about him after this, but I realised that the one idea I had was too similar to "Griffen the Griffen." so I decided not to do it, but I had to wrap-up the sub-plot of Inferno being back. Since I felt that I now had no more use for the character I killed him off.
As for Drez I wanted to try the idea of the less you know about the villain the more intimating they'd be. That's why we never saw him talk or know his backstory, but I guese that failed.
Truthfully I feel it would have been better if it was just Chrysalis.
1509239 It's not know the villians the problem, it the execution the problem. While know some of the villian backstory can bring Tension, it the act that bring more conflict.
For inferno while I can understand you made have ran out of ideas, But to kill him off was alittle poor can benefit to other greater villians. However there could have been better ways to do it.
For example, you could have him learn from his mistake and probably have used Rainbow Dash as a body shield. Or try and go after Rainbow Dash separating her from both Seth and the girls to prevent them to preform the element of harmony. Then he would kill Rainbow Dash in front of him like he did with Celestia's lover. Something along those line.
While Drez could have been more intimating by Already caculated there arrival and made it difficulty for the mane 6 to get the element of harmony from the vault. Also displaying his power by nearly beating Seth to death.
Don't take as me being mean to you, I'm just trying to give you some ideas.
The battle with Chyrsalis was good because you already explain why she couldn't used variety of attack spells.
But Inferno was defeated in Seth's universe it didn't explain how come he's here in this universe and why haven't he used his past experience to his advantage.
I hope didn't waste your time on my thoughts. Just giving you my opinion on thoughts on the matter.
Don't lets this stop you from writting you have great story and I'm looking for what next in store for Seth and gang.
1510952 I'll take all that into consideration for the future. And not to give anything away, but I do have a new villain in mind for the main story, but I'll have to wait for season 3 first to see how I can tie that character in. Thanks for the constructive criticism.
1510952 Okay so I've edited the fights and took some of your advice. I hope that they're both better now.
1521330 Wow I got to say that was better. Drez was literally beat the sh*t out of Seth. Well done on your part.
Inferno was better , both Seth and inferno teleport was a great idea for the fight.
I did enjoy it my good sir. Stay awesome now.
And nice Marvel's Avengers reference.
Yay! Jim Carrey (I think, haven't watched "The Mask" in years) is in here!
1887832 Yes Jim Carrey was The Mask.
I wonder, dammit.
*Nosebleed*