The Storm
Everything seemed to slow down as the train came to a stop.
There was a heavy clunk as the brakes clicked on.
The train lurched.
Metallic screeching filled the cabin.
The horn sounded.
Another lurch.
And everything stopped. The world outside stopped moving, the horn stopped blaring, the brakes stopped squealing, and just for a moment, Chrysalis and Twilight’s hearts stopped beating.
There was no turning back now. The Crystal Empire awaited.
Twilight was the first to drag herself off the comfortable seat, groaning and griping the entire way. “I really don’t wanna do this.”
Chrysalis pulled herself up after that and nudged Twilight towards the door. “We have to.”
Twilight let out another pained groan. “I know.”
They stepped out into the midday sun, but it was even colder than it had been in Ponyville. There was no wind, thankfully, but the air was frigid and sharp, and Twilight couldn’t help but shiver as her first lungful of air burned inside her.
Chrysalis, meanwhile, was completely unfazed by the harsh weather, and when Twilight shivered she moved close to share her warmth. It made Twilight smile, but knowing where she was, and who she was here to see, stopped her from getting any closer.
Ponies stared and whispered as the couple walked through the streets. There was no panic, no fleeing, but the sight of Princess Twilight with Chrysalis, whether they recognized her or not, was sure to always turn heads.
“You know,” Twilight mused as they cantered along, “I come here all the time, and it never ceases to amaze me how the crystal ponies seem to relish the cold. It’s almost like they don’t even feel it.”
Chrysalis gave her a puzzled look. “What in the world is a crystal pony?”
Twilight chuckled. “Geez, Chrissy, I thought you were supposed to be old and experienced. What, in all those years you never crossed paths with Sombra? Or came this far north? Or, like, read a book?”
Chrysalis scoffed. “Why would I ever go anywhere near that pompous little boy? I had better uses of my time than dealing with some problem that I knew full well would deal with itself eventually.”
“Well,” Twilight told her, “the crystal ponies were the ponies suffering under his rule. Now they’re back, and Cadence leads them.”
“Convenient word choice there,” Chrysalis commented, “considering both have sat upon the same throne.”
Twilight was about to respond, but a cough from nearby caught her attention. She looked away from Chrysalis to find two guards, clad in crystal armor, standing firmly in front of the doors leading into the castle.
“Oh, we’re here!” Twilight tried her best to grin nonchalantly at the guards, but it just came off as awkward. “How are you two? I’m just, um, here to see my brother!”
The guards whispered back and forth for a moment. Twilight and Chrysalis went through a whole slew of concerned looks in the time it took for them to reach a consensus, but eventually they stood up straight and the guard who had coughed put on the most official voice he could muster.
“Princess Twilight,” he said, “seeing as we are only door guards and are nowhere near trained for this, we are electing to trust you, but I’d like to make clear that our trust does not reflect the entire castle guard.”
With that, the two guards stepped to either side of the door, clanking as they moved in the heavy armor. “I hope you’re able to enjoy your visit,” the other guard said.
Twilight chuckled nervously and motioned for Chrysalis to follow her inside. “Thank you two,” she said as she passed, “I’ll put in a good word for you with my brother.”
“Please don’t,” the first guard said. Then the doors shut with a heavy slam, closing Twilight and Chrysalis into the castle.
“Ominous,” Chrysalis commented.
“Hush,” Twilight said. “Let’s just find one of them and get this over with.”
“I believe,” Chrysalis told her, “one of them has just found us.”
Twilight gulped when she saw what she meant. Clacking loudly as he walked through the huge, empty crystal halls, Shining Armor had just turned the corner. He was fully dressed in his royal guard regalia, albeit somewhat awkwardly, and a particularly ornery piece of cloth had his full attention as he was walking. It wasn’t until he’d closed half the distance when he looked up and his jaw dropped.
Shining Armor’s face went through a full gamut of reactions in a split second as he took in the scene. First the shock, then the anger, then realization, followed by yet more anger.
“Chrysalis!” His furious shout echoed dreadfully through the castle. “Get away from her!” His eyes flashed with an unquenched fury as his horn lit up, and a moment later he was charging forward.
Twilight stumbled forward and put up a quaking hoof. “Shiny, wait!”
Shining Armor and Twilight made eye contact, and it was like a light was switched off inside him. His horn dimmed, his eyes softened, and his hooves screeched as he skidded to a stop on the polished floors.
He was only feet away when he finally stopped, and he couldn’t take his eyes off Twilight. His wide eyes, moist with the promise of tears, were brimming with all manner of emotions, and Twilight could feel it all.
Then he set his jaw, shook his head, and lit his horn back up. “Prove that you’re Twilight,” he demanded.
Chrysalis almost spoke up, but she caught herself and continued to watch the two of them in silence.
“Look.” Twilight held out the leg that still had the glowing band around it. “You know this spell, Shiny.” Then she pointed to the matching band that Chrysalis was wearing. “Brainwashed ponies don’t make promises, and brainwashers definitely don’t keep promises.”
Shining Armor looked back and forth between them, staring at the bands, then their faces, then back at the bands. Slowly, all the anger drained from his face, only to be replaced by a dull, aching sadness. Finally, he fell back and sat on the floor, completely defeated.
“Twilight…” He was staring up at her from where he sat with a scarring frown. “What did you do?”
Twilight’s ears pulled back in shame as she frowned and took a step away. “I- I just… I mean—” She couldn’t get any thoughts out.
“Twilight, please,” Shining Armor begged, “tell me this isn’t what it looks like.”
“I’m sorry, Shiny,” Twilight squeaked, her voice barely reaching her lips.
“You said you were bringing a new girlfriend,” Shining armor said. “So you’re dating her?” His voice was dripping with vitriol as he glared at Chrysalis.
“I just thought..” Twilight looked away from him and closed her eyes. “I don’t know.”
“Twilight.” Chrysalis put a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder to steady her. “Have faith in yourself. You’ve done nothing to be ashamed of.”
“Really?” Shining Armor snapped at Chrysalis. “Because from where I’m sitting, it sure looks like she did.”
“How it looks to you has no bearing on the matter,” Chrysalis told him.
“No bearing?” Shining Armor swiped a hoof through the air dramatically. “I’m the one who’s been betrayed here, I think I have some say in it.”
“No.” Twilight sniffed her tears away and stepped forward, looking hard at Shining Armor. “No, Shiny, you don’t get to decide what I should be ashamed about. Disagree with me, disown me, whatever, but I will not be ashamed for being happy.”
“How can you be happy with her after what she did to Cadence?” Shining Armor was struggling to hold back his own tears.
“Because I gave her a second chance,” Twilight said. “That’s what I do. You think nopony was ever against it before? Pinkie didn’t talk to me for a week after I took in Starlight! I did it anyway, because I knew I was making her life better, and then she went and made a whole bunch of other ponies’ lives better. It just happened to be that the life Chrysalis made better was mine. I won’t let you tear all of that down just because you think that, because it’s your hurt, she’s different.”
“I-” Shining Armor sighed and looked down at the ground. “I want you to be happy, Twily. I just don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive her.”
“I don’t expect forgiveness,” Chrysalis told him. “I’m only here because I want Twilight’s decision to be respected.”
Twilight leaned down next to her brother. “You don’t have to like her, Shiny,” she told him, “but I’ll still like her either way. You’re going to have to come to terms with that, because you can’t change it.”
Shining Armor nodded, still not meeting Twilight’s eyes. “You’re right,” he said, “I can’t control you. I’ll… I’ll do my best to keep things good between us.”
“So will I,” Twilight told him.
Twilight stood back up and held out a hoof for Shining Armor, who took it and stood up as well. Then, much to his shock, Twilight gave him a hug, and a second later he hugged her back.
“For what it’s worth,” Chrysalis said after they were done, “I am sorry for any strain I may have put on your relationship with Cadence.”
Shining Armor narrowed his eyes at her. “And for… Brainwashing me?”
Chrysalis thought for a moment. “...No. I can’t apologize for something I don’t regret.”
“Chrysalis,” Twilight chided. Shining Armor scowled at her.
“What?” Chrysalis shrugged. “I realize it wasn’t good, but I still believe that, for my goals at the time, it was a sound decision.”
“Okay, time to leave,” Twilight said. She wrapped her magic around Chrysalis and started to tug her down the hallway. “We’re only halfway done.”
“She’s in the throne room,” Shining Armor told them as they left. “I wouldn’t expect her to be as calm as me, though.”
The halls were empty as they walked through the castle. It wasn’t just that the castle wasn’t busy. It was like the castle had been evacuated. There was no clicking from distant hooves, no quiet murmurs from the rooms they passed by. It was just the two of them, their deafening hoofsteps, and the eerie silence between them.
As they approached the door to the throne room, Chrysalis put a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder to stop her. “Are you ready for this?”
“No,” Twilight told her, “but I’m never going to be.”
“Do we have a plan?”
“I have no idea what she’s going to say,” Twilight said. “I think we should walk in at the same time so that she sees us together, but the plan ends there.”
“If you need to take a step back, just tap me on the shoulder and I’ll take over the talking,” Chrysalis said.
“Thank you, Chrissy.”
There was nothing else to do. They both stepped up behind one of the large, heavy doors, and Twilight wrapped them in her magic. They opened agonizingly slowly, inch by inch, but the first thing they revealed was the daunting throne, and with it—
A bolt of magic scorched the floor by their hooves before the doors were even open.
With a final push, Twilight flung open the doors and the couple stepped inside. There they saw her. Standing tall on the raised platform that held her throne, her horn lit brilliantly, her wings outstretched in a show of dominance, her mane billowing as if the force of her magic was washing over it, Princess Cadence glared at them.
Her voice was cold and quiet when she spoke. “I was really, really hoping you two weren’t going to walk through that door together.”
“Expecting me?” Chrysalis asked.
Cadence responded with another blast of magic that collided with a wall of green flames. “Do you think I don’t have guards? Or that I wouldn’t make absolutely certain they all knew the face of the woman who nearly took everything from me?”
“Cadence, please,” Twilight pleaded, “it isn’t what it looks like.”
There was another volley of magic, and another spout of flames.
“It’s exactly what it looks like!” Cadence snapped.
“I’m not in any danger,” Twilight said. “She isn’t doing anything wrong.”
“What, do you think I’m blind?” Cadence stomped a hoof on the ground. “I know this is real. I’m the Envoy of Love in Equestria, I’m perfectly capable of seeing when one of my best friends is falling in love. Why would that make it better?”
Twilight took a step back in shock. Chrysalis stepped in front of her to keep her safe. “C-Cadence, please,” Twilight begged. “Just hear us out!”
“I know what you’ll say!” Cadence fired another bolt at Chrysalis. “I don’t care. You can do whatever you want at home, but you do not bring that woman into my castle and expect her to leave unscathed.”
Tears were streaming down Twilight’s face now. “Cadence, no! Please, don’t do this.”
“I’m sorry, Twilight.” A brilliant spark started to grow in Cadence’s horn. “I hope you’re okay with dating a statue.”
Cadence reared back as her horn became almost unbearably bright. Then she slammed back onto the ground, aimed her horn at Chrysalis, and let loose.
There was a deafening boom as a massive beam flew across the room. The colors flowing through it seemed jagged with the speed they were going, a rainbow of force headed their way.
Chrysalis crouched defensively. There was no way she could block that, so her only option would be to dodge out of the way, but she hesitated. She glanced back over her shoulder, to what the beam would hit if she moved, to—
Nothing.
In that instant after Cadence fired, Twilight started moving. She ran at full speed forward, charging her magic up as she did, and skidded to a stop in a defensive position in front of Chrysalis. Then she blasted back, fighting back Cadence’s magic with her own.
A shower of sparks were raining over Twilight as she strained to fight back. She clenched her eyes tight as tears cascaded down her cheeks. Then, with a final, monumental shove, she put all her might behind the spell and screamed out in despair.
“I will not let you hurt her!”
Cadence’s blast was eviscerated. The lance of purple light flew over her head, just barely missing her, and she and Twilight both crumpled to the floor in exhaustion.
Chrysalis leaned down and put a tender hoof on Twilight’s side. Then her attention turned to Cadence, and her eyes narrowed into a nasty glare. She stood up, tall and proud, and used her own magic to levitate Twilight up onto her back. Twilight latched onto her immediately, burying her face to hide her tears.
Chrysalis looked down her nose at Cadence. “I hope you’re happy, Princess.”
Cadence was panting hard, but she pushed herself shakily to her hooves and glared back at Chrysalis. Her voice fell to almost a whisper. “Leave my castle.”
Chrysalis didn’t say anything else. She just turned around, carried Twilight out into the hall, and shut the doors quietly behind her.
Shining Armor caught up to them as they were walking to the exit. “That bad, huh?” he asked.
Twilight sniffed, but she couldn’t bring herself to look at her brother.
Chrysalis stopped and turned to look down at Shining Armor. She stared at him, searching for something to say, some quip or scolding remark, but eventually she settled on just turning and walking away in silence.
Shining Armor walked with them. “Listen,” he said, “I’ll talk to her. I can’t promise it’ll be quick, but she and Twilight will be back on good terms someday. I’ll make sure of it.”
Chrysalis still said nothing to him.
He scratched behind an ear awkwardly. “Be good to her,” he said after a moment, “okay? Twilight wouldn’t do this for just anypony.”
“That’s the thing,” Chrysalis said. She still didn’t look at him. “I think that she would.”
Then they were outside, back to the icy cold. The chill biting into them felt infinitely more hostile than it had earlier that day.
“You may want to check on those two,” Chrysalis said, gesturing at the door guards as they passed by. “I may have been a touch too rough with them, but they didn’t leave me much choice.” Then, without waiting for any sort of response or goodbye, she walked away.
Chrysalis carried Twilight back to the train station and set her gently on a bench before sitting down herself and gently rubbing Twilight’s back.
“Are you alright?” Chrysalis asked after a minute.
Twilight pried her eyes open and looked up at Chrysalis, at her face, sharp and malicious, yet still somehow soft and caring. “Not really,” she said.
“Your brother was right,” Chrysalis told her. “They’ll forgive you.”
Twilight sniffed and frowned. “I’m not going to apologize.”
“They’ll forgive you anyway,” Chrysalis said.
“I guess…” Twilight reached out to place her hoof on one of Chrysalis’. “Thank you for everything you said in there.”
“I only said what I felt I had to.”
Twilight looked at her with a weak smile. “You really care about me, huh?”
“Of course I do. You’re the only princess in this nation I respect.”
Twilight chuckled quietly. “You don’t even know Luna.”
Chrysalis stroked Twilight’s mane. “I’m sorry it had to go this way.”
Twilight shook her head. “It had to happen regardless. I’m just glad that it’s—”
She was cut off by the sudden sound of glass shattering. They both looked around frantically, searching for the source, before realizing that they knew what it was.
With a frown, Twilight raised up her leg and looked it over, and there was nothing to see. No cuts, no scrapes, and most notably, no glowing band of magic.
“But why…” Twilight rubbed her leg where the sign of their promise should have been.
Suddenly, Chrysalis started to laugh. “Oh, wow.” Twilight gave her a puzzled look. “I really never imagined it would be you who broke the promise.”
“Me?” Twilight asked. “I don’t understand, how did I—“ Her eyes went wide as the realization struck her.
“You saved my life, Twilight,” Chrysalis said.
“Oh…” Twilight was still staring at her leg. “I’m… Sorry?”
The sudden apology made Chrysalis start laughing again, and then Twilight was laughing with her. Her eyes were still damp, and the laughing drew out a few more tears, but Twilight was smiling, and Chrysalis was smiling back.
A few minutes later, Twilight sighed and leaned heavily against Chrysalis. “I guess this means our vacation is over,” she said. “That’s kind of a shame.”
Chrysalis squeezed Twilight tight. “Well, it doesn’t have to be.”
“What do you mean?” Twilight asked.
“Well, we’re the only ones who know the promise was broken. We could just make another one.”
“I don’t know,” Twilight said. “I would feel bad if I kept making excuses to not be a good guy.”
“Then don’t,” Chrysalis said. “I’m not going to stop you. Equestria’s full of heroes now, though. They don’t need you for everything, and if you have an excuse to not do the small stuff, you can use that time to help on a larger scale as a princess.”
“Hmm…” Twilight thought hard about it. “It does sound kind of nice… What would we promise, though?”
“I have an idea,” Chrysalis said. She held her hoof out and looked into Twilight’s eyes. “I can promise to never stop loving you.”
Twilight lit up with a grin and put her own hoof on top of Chrysalis’. “I think I can promise that too.”
Both their horns lit up, and they kissed as they cast the spell. As their lips locked together, so did their magic, making a brilliant stream of twisting and swirling green and purple light that wrapped around their legs. Then there was a flash of light, and they pulled away from each other to see their intricate new bands. Chrysalis had a bright, neon purple one, while Twilight’s was a glowing green.
Twilight practically pounced on Chrysalis, pulling her into a tight hug. Chrysalis laughed and squeezed her back, and then they kissed once again.
Later, on the train home, a thought hit Twilight. “You know,” she said, “I’m not actually sure if this promise spell is reversible. We might have these for a while.”
“That’s alright,” Chrysalis told her. “I don’t mind ponies knowing that you’re mine.”
“Please. Everypony knows I’m in charge. I am the Princess, after all.”
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... Huh.
An epilogue with a time jump would be appreciated, but yes this is good too.
9869103
yea that was my plan, i just gotta figure out what I actually wanna put in the epilogue so idk how long it'll take
This has been a good little story to read. I would love to see more of this and how the others will react to all that has happened.
I think it would be great if you kept expanding the world you built with this story. A good point to start would either be with shining and cadence or celestial.
what, why is this over and not maked complete?
i demand you write more as long as you have not marked this finished!
9869125
oh yeah I forgot to actually change that part. oops. =P
9869139
dangit, i wanted the other reaction <.<
Awww, this was quite a sweet finale
Ah, this has been neat. I would definitely like to see a conclusion that addresses what eventually happened with Cadance and Shining Armor, re: Chryslight.
Thanks for writing this. Very enjoyable.
I'm sad it's over, but I'm glad it happened.
I also appreciate the frequency of update this had, never had time to forget what was happening!
Aw, over already? I mean, I get it, but dangit, I want more tsundere Chrysalis!
Anyway, this was a fun story, and I would be entirely in favor of more exploration of this AU.
Wow. Cadance knowing that their feelings are real and still reacting like that makes it hit that much harder.
9869110
I suggest you just leave it for now. You never know what might get you interested to revisit things. Probably could make a blogpost about possible outcomes. Also I'm digging the shared story universe idea.
9869479
yea I'm not gonna rush it. If there's an epilogue I want it to be satisfying.
Huh.
I guess I was wrong about Cadence. Apparently, she was willing to permanently damage her relationship with Twilight over this.
This has become, by far, one of my favorite fics I've ever read. I would love an epilogue and a continuation of this alternative world you've made, if you're up to it.
While I think this story is fine, I will say that I think the relationship with Chrysalis and Twilight needed more time to cook. It seemed to advance awfully quickly.
More.
Is there going to be a sequel or something?
9869496
Thanks for your care. Personally I came here for the changelings/Chrysalis. I'm not sure if I'll be interested in everything but if it's good I won't just ditch it.
I’d love to see a sequel.
9870604
honestly the pottery came about just cuz I thought the idea of Fluttershy being extremely bad at it and getting covered in clay was Very Cute. I make a lot of writing decisions based on what I think would make Fluttershy look cute.
I don't wanna flood the comments section responding to everyone individually but I do appreciate all the kind comments here! I'm still thinking through what my plans are but I'm pretty certain at this point I'm gonna continue fleshing out this world. I can't guarantee Twilight and Chrysalis will be extremely prominent (unless I decide at some point to give them a child (which I may have already designed)) but they'll be there. A princess and her would-be-queen are bound to show up around town.
I am reading all the negative/constructive feedback, too, and I appreciate it! Feedback like that helped me get to this point and it'll help me get even better as time goes on, so I take it all into consideration even if I don't directly respond to it.
That was some great Twilight x Chryssie, I adore how you had Chryssie bring out the snarky fun Twilight.
Generally, this was a pretty nice story. I've read two or three stories that have Chrysalis romancing Twilight, and this one didn't disappoint.
However, the conflict with Cadance kinda popped up out of nowhere, completely clashes with the tone of the rest of the story (which up to that point was leaning much more heavily into comedy), had no resolution, and had no real impact on the bit of the story that followed it. It just kinda... happened. If this story wasn't marked complete - or there was an obvious hook for a sequel at the end - this wouldn't be such a problem, and I'd look forward to seeing how it played out. But as it stands, it feels a lot more like this was just included to complete the Checklist Of Ponies Who Should React To The Relationship, and to provide an actual antagonist after Celestia's fakeout; honestly, I don't think anything would be lost by just removing it.
9872088
Honestly I was kinda worried about a lotta that stuff when I wrote it. I like the conflict in a vacuum but I probly shoulda listened to my gut and realized the story just wasn't set up for it. I think it still more or less worked out, ppl don't seem too put off by it, but from an objective standpoint I think it was a mistake so I'll definitely have to be more mindful of that stuff in the future.
I appreciate the feedback, though. A lotta the time even if I already kinda feel these things, having someone actually tell me they're an issue makes it, like. More real? If that makes sense.
& I'm glad to hear you still liked the story. ^w^
I've been slowly drifting away from the fandom, reading less and less fics. But I still frequent this site, and I'm very glad I found this story. It's everything I first fell in love with on this website: witty dialogue, hilarious punchlines, pitch-perfect characterisation. I could hear every character in my head as they spoke, and it sounded just right. This was an absolute joy to read, and thank you so much for sharing it!
9872677
Oh wow, what a kind comment! Thank you, that's all really incredible to hear. ^w^
I never expected it to finish like this.
I like it, no over-dramatic ending, no butterflies flapping around, no corpse left to rot, just a plain visit that turned sour but open enough.
Sounds like the perfect ending to me.
9881468
*insert "a worthy opponent" meme here*
Snack food.
... She took it well.
Genuinely tense with a sweet and tender payoff that complimented each other well. Once again I feel left wanting more out of it, but not in a bad way. Whole I still think this whole story could be anywhere from two to four times longer and still be good, it's current length means it never over stayed it's welcome. Although I really shouldn't give my full feelings on it before I read the epilogue.
I don't like how Shining was handled. Man's probably got PTSD considering who he is and what happened, and the position he was in during it.
Finds his nightmarish great enemy walking down the halls of HIS HOME, with his baby sister whom he'd die to protect, who breaks him with the reveal, then tells him to fucking deal with it, too bad, you don't get a say, I'm here to tell you you'd better play nice or else. In his own fucking home. Fluffy story or not, treating Shining like an antagonist just because he's the one who should have the worst trouble with Chrysalis isn't fair to the character, and it gets glossed over because happy couple fluffy feels.
Utter emasculation, and one rich therapist later...
Plus, the point is kind of proven with how Cadence reacted. You brought the villain responsible for possibly the worst time in their lives into their home. As a surprise. It doesn't matter if she reforms, it doesn't matter who sticks up for her, it doesn't matter if she's made out of sunshine and rainbows now. They are not obligated to forgive and forget. It is their right as sapient horses to hate the person who hurt them so deeply, and Twilight acting like it's not, or that they should change, just shows how little she actually thinks of them. She was just afraid of reprisal, of being scolded, or hated. She wasn't thinking about what this would do to her family.
Twilight was incredibly selfish here, and brought pain to her loved ones. And they are painted as in the wrong for not being supportive. The only mitigation to the story tone treating them as antagonists is Chrysalis herself. You don't bring their enemy to their HOME. The one place they should be safe together. If she wasn't hilariously short-sighted here she would have invited them to HER home to meet Chrysalis, where she is the one in power, making it something closer to neutral ground - decorum would have stayed their figurative hand to at least hear things out.
Feels like she chose a girlfriend of a matter of a couple months over people who've loved her all her life. Twi and Chrysalis aren't even serious yet, the relationship is literally an experiment at this point. But drawing that line is the same as saying 'cross over to my side or maybe we aren't family anymore' even if the words aren't said. Why wouldn't that hurt them?
That said, I do like that Cadence understands their relationship and you weren't afraid to still have her, the Princess of Love, not give a fuck about that. She took it into account and was still hurt, betrayed, and angry. Normally, the instant a love-issue appears most fan authors have her melt into whatever the situation requires for a happy ending to it. Instead she was real, here. I don't like how the story made her into antagonist rather than someone who's being completely reasonable for having their enemy in their home and worming into their family. ... But she was the most real character in the story at that moment. Glimglam was an annoying snitch, she didn't have a proper reaction to Chrysalis, and didn't respect the sanctity of her landlord's home. Twilight shows up, doesn't respect that sanctity with her brother and sister-in-law, and gets BTFO'd by association. Though having Shining going to bat for them feels cruel to the man.
10171902
Woah, that's a lotta comment.
I definitely see what you're sayin, especially with the shining armor stuff. I definitely could've given him a bit more agency in this, and I think that could've gone a long way towards alleviating the way the narration sides so heavily with twilight.
Thanks for the feedback, it's much appreciated!
I kinda expected it to go better, I actually thought Shining Armor would be the more pissed off one and Cadance being more reasonable.
I would say it could be because there brother and sister but after what Shining Armor did at the wedding, no.
Also yes, Shining Armor was brainwashed however that's not how it works, I believe it was confirmed in the show that you can't just create emotion, Chrysalis didn't make Shining Armor disown her sister, that was Shining Armor who did that.
The brainwashing only increases the emotion that the user feels, for an example if the user feels anger for his sister, the brainwasher has the choice to decrease or increase the amount of anger the user is feeling for that particular person and reason.
All Chrysalis pretty much did was increase his anger, him disowning his sister was all on him.
And Cadance? I would have figured that saving someone's wedding and life would make her more calm, sure she hates Chrysalis but I'm surprised everything she did was while Twilight was there and pleading her to stop.
Wow, Cadance just can't stand the idea of their true love? Pity.