Just someone looking to entertain and learn. And write about pones. Mostly that last part.
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What can you do when you wake up in the arms of a half-naked friend but scream and panic? Everyone tries to assure Sunset Shimmer that she's freaking out over nothing, that it's normal that her boyfriend was in her bed this morning. However, Sunset knows better. She knows Flash isn't her boyfriend, and she knows the mysterious force that keeps her from breaking up with him is nothing but trouble.
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The first EqG movies tried pretty clumsily to ship Twilight with Flash. This is a good (read horrifying) look at what that would actually be like to go through.
Just not from Flash Sentry's perspective, because he doesn't deserve sympathy😛Sunset is able to escape it, but what a cost she pays. There could be another chapter of her wondering if getting away from her curse was worth losing her friends. There's no good options to that choice.All you had to do was end Shimmy's romantic relationship(s). You just had to destroy her friendships too, you monster
Why did you have to go and make me feel like this?
This is hilarious. Faved already.
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Because she didn't have to destroy the mirror. She could have just stayed in Equestria until they (maybe) find a solution, and then go back. But she acted out of fear, and impulse has consequences.
Besides, I wanted to elicit a strong emotional response in my readers, as I feel getting shaken by a story is a wonderful experience. If I had simply had her follow Twilight's advice and left it at that, it would have fallen flat. However you could see it yourself, building up a character before ripping them apart emotionally works wonder to shake the reader a bit.
I'm glad you enjoyed it, and thank you so much for the comment
9833632
I didn't intend for it to be hilarious, but if you enjoyed it nonetheless, that's what matters. Thanks for reading and for the comment!
Ok, this was a ride.
You know, at the very beginning I wasn't entirely convinced by the first person pov, and thought that it didn't sound much like Sunset.
But that idea turned around really fast, I think you captured her character well, and you can feel on the narrative her increasing stress and anger. She's like, all over the place.
But I felt the ending was... Idk if to call it sudden, cuz I don't feel that's the case, more like, its missing something? Personally dissatisfying?
I feel like this could be solved in a few more chapters, even with the 15k word limit. Since I read this in the wee hours of the morning I reread it to check if maybe something escaped me, but the feeling it's still the same. One of the things that stuck with me in the first reading was how disgusted Sunset felt about Flash?? And I was like, "ok, what happened here?"
The second read, it felt more it was all part of the anger. Idk, maybe I read it the wrong way? But that's one the things that felt needed a tad bit of background?
Overall, I really liked it. Like I said, I liked the premise, liked the characterization, and has a good pace and narrative. One of those you know goes straight to your faves.
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Super happy you liked it! I have to admit, I don't know how to write endings, so it's normal it fell flat. And as for Sunset being disgusted with Flash, I was trying to go in the direction of her completely freaking out about her loss of control and lashing out against Flash, but I got told, quite accurately I feel, that I went way too overboard and she just seems to overreact for no reason. I fully agree I would have needed more time and space to develop this all... but deadlines be deadlines eh
Really glad you liked it so much however, my only goal in writing is to improve and give people interesting experiences. Comments like yours are the best kind of payment I could ever ask for
9834707
I feel that rather than reacting for no reason, it seems that she reacts for a reason that's not told in the story. And there the confusion.
Damn, that ending is perfect.
Huh. Could be an interesting premise, although the writing and characterization could use some work. Everything feels a bit too melodramatic and it feels over-written, like half could have been cut and told the same story (which, fair, is a common issue).
Good luck all the same!
Wow sunny really doesn’t like flash :(