As often following a break up, Sunset starts repeating days; as often following Sunset, it's never as simple as that.
And, finally, the day that never ends is yesterday. The girl who left learns to move on.
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PapierSam
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Alternate chapter title. Sunset doesn't know how to let go
Damn, angry Rarity knows how to dish out the verbal abuse.
What's with Sunset and time loop? The girl keeps getting stuck on them..
Anyway, great story! The answer is kinda obvious, and I bet Sunset knows that, but the way you intertwined all these subplots really makes reading it worthwhile. Sunset probably knows by the nth iteration that the breakup is probably inevitable, but she just didnt want to acknowledge it, didnt want to move on, and thus the universe opened her friends problems to her (or atleast that's what it felt to me). Great characters, great callback to the title and problems mentioned before. Felt like no stone unturned.
Okay, so the argument over bowling is maybe the best part of this. You completely captured what relationship arguments are like, how they don't make sense to an outside observer because they're founded on a thousand tiny things no one else has seen in their entirety.
I do find it surprising you decided to write a time loop after Backstage Pass, though.
God, I hope they aren't.
Wow, this made me stop and really reflect on myself.
Oh, man. This was beautiful. Have an upvote while I add this to my ‘Most Beautiful Stories’ collection.
Now this is an adventure from start to end.
I won't try to talk about everything in this story, because this story is an intricately crafted web of how relationships work, and to focus on everything would be a mighty task. Instead of doing that, I'm gonna focus on some details about the story I loved.
First off, the plot device you used here was incredible. The date appearing after every new loop was the perfect way to hit home how endless the whole thing is. It also helps that the story is long enough that you wonder just when Sunset will realize, and after another five loops have passed, you realize it won't be anytime soon.
Sunset hearing all of her friends highs and lows are really well done, but the best part is that they're all split into pieces. Sunset is learning about the little things, about little inside jokes, and expressing your biggest worries and issues. It fits really well into the whole concept of the story. Speaking of, the concept is one I haven't seen yet, and you handled the whole thing really well. It captured relationships through the lense of what's happening in the now, without giving us a chance to see all of Sunset and Flash's small moments, where they're just together, making memories. We don't get a chance, because since we're seeing it through the lense of Sunset, she doesn't see all the little things. All the cogs to the machine that are relationships, and without those cogs, the machine couldn't function.
I also really like your characterization. All the characters feel just like the ones in the show, but with some extra depth and wisdom from their experiences. They have little tics and parts to them that make them unique, like Rainbow and her phone. It just gives them that much more life. The dialogue especially is just pure, unfiltered Mane Six.
Small aside, there are several spots spread throughout the story where there are some grammar issues, or it feels like a word or two is missing. It didn't detract from the experience as a whole, but it never hurts to add some extra polish to what is already an extremely polished story.
I want to make a final note to the plot device from earlier, particularly when the date moves over. The image next to it changes from a sun, to a sun on a cloudy day. The sun is no longer the main focus anymore, just like Sunset. It's a small detail, maybe not intentional, but I really love it nonetheless.
Amazing story about relationships with great characters, pacing, and a stunning moral. With some work on the patches of grammar mistakes and odd sentences, this could definitely be a masterpiece, not that it doesn't already feel like one. Well done!
fun meta bit, and great setup! establishing the relationship and the story mechanic with "It felt new every time he said it". now this is storytelling
oof! i can imagine how that would feel to hear. my reaction would be the same as Sunset's. definitely intriguing, the insistence that it is because of him. what did Flash mean by this
had to check whether or not this was written after Sunset's Backstage Pass!
what is it with Rarity and crabs?
ha, loved this bit
aaaaaa i love the way Applejack calls her this, as well as this Applejack, as well as her relationship with Sunset here, all very good
oof! worth a shot, but there's definitely more going on here
ah definitely reminds me of nights where i didn't want to deal with something so i just stared at screens until i passed out, very #relatable
very wise of Rainbow Dash
haha, love this Pinkie! really getting that Sunset/Pinkie vibe from Sunset's Backstage Pass
ah, dang! it's been so long for me that i forgot this was a thing to miss, and now i miss it too, damn you fictional Sunset's thoughts
delightfully devilish, Sunset!
aaaaaa oof
oof! seeing more of this side of their relationship is outside of Sunset's head, wow. really well-done transition here, unexpected but not at all jarring.
oh mare, a lot of things here feel recontextualized now! oh wow, i love this
oof, so much to unpack here
real missed opportunity to make this "Marelyn" smh
oof! definitely paid off the line
and i'm guessing
is about Rarity, by elimination? maybe i'm misreading that but that is a fascinating situation for Rarity to be in
and it all comes back to friendship in the end. reconstruction!
ah, i really love this! especially weaving in Sunset's unique background into this, with a weaving metaphor no less. i definitely see parts of Sunset and Flash's weaknesses here in myself. it's really making me reflect on things
a beautiful ending, and one that is truly earned. the time loop was a classic high-concept trope but this story was a low-concept masterpiece through and through. i loved these characterizations of the Humane Seven, each feeling like a logical extrapolation of their canon selves, but deepened and rounded out as adults that could exist in this real, complicated human world. and the tiny little details and idiosyncracies in each of their relationships and ways of being in the world, ugh, it all just seems so full and real.
i really loved this. it's criminal that this fic does not have more views and comments.
Howdy, hi!
This is actually one of my all-time favourite stories on the site (I'm a sucker for a good time loop story). How you wrote out the underlying emotional problems between Sunset and Flash were masterful and I love the characterization of everyone in this. Each of them is like their canon counterparts but with the added depth of realism that makes them relatable and fun to read about.
I love the subtlety and multiple angles in which to look at everything, the jabs, and the realistic arguments that occur. They *feel* like they're at the end of their relationship, like that they still love each other in a way, but the accumulation has finally hit the tipping point, and now it's falling apart and nothing can be done to stop it. Just that subtle snowball that rolls forever despite Sunset being trapped in a never-ending day.
Regardless, gorgeous work. Absolutely amazing start to finish. Thank you so much for this.
Bravo! The idea of a time loop has its own set of clichés, which this takes and uses with its own grace. One of which is after a couple repeats, Sunset gets frustrated and decides to takes paths where she doesn’t pay for the consequences. This handles the trope with care as it propels the plot forward in Sunset’s soul-searching.
Of which made me
think. Overthink. A lot. This story is laced with relationship nuance and intricacy. To be honest, I haven’t the slightest clue about relationships, so it takes me a bit to read in between the lines and I didn’t get most things unless it was spelled out (for example, Rainbow’s hidden envy). But even with limited knowledge, the feel is there to fill in the blanks.For instance, with Rarity’s vibe-check (to put it crudely), I couldn’t get what the problem was about (obviously Sunset venting, but that's scratching the surface- there is something deeper than that), but I could feel the tension between her and Sunset and the frustration.
In the end, the ending left me both satisfied and empty with Sunset finally letting go and coming to terms that the breakup will happen, regardless of what happens. What the loop was teaching her is how to learn from it and be a better person because of it. Again, Bravo!
Alright, let's see.
I believe it has been stated that the idea of the loop mixed with the break up and the message of letting go was a match made in heaven. And you rightfully took it and executed it the best way I could have imagined.
This story, I believe, is one of the few stories I won't nit pick for scene jumping and actually give a thumbs up for doing simply because it makes sense, the jumps are to moments that impact the story and overall it really feels like we are repeating the day, over, and over, and over again to a point we don't even notice how long it's been going. (I also loved the added detail for the date and weather.)
Sunset's character, along with others are portrait properly. Though, I feel like the Fluttershy is... a bit detached from the one I know and am used to but it makes sense still cause quite some times has passed and she has a new ship that I would have never ever guessed in a billion years. (WTF is up with the stop signs though?)
And one last thing, I am not a fan of FlashXSunset and I won't lie, I am happy they broke up. But, I'm saying this to emphasis on the fact that the moments in between Sunset and Flash felt... genuine to me. Even the break up, I actually saw Flash as a character with personality and I could clearly feel they both had something for each other.
Good job.