Diaries of an Equestrian Overlord

by KitsuneRisu

11th March

9.00 AM

It is timely, but today I received a scroll from Appleloosa asking me when I am going to come around on my promises to send them help with their 'varmint issues'.

The original request came to me a few months ago, but was overseen by my Foreign Relations team, and as thus was not recorded in my journal. But now this is a personal letter, and one that I cannot afford to ignore.

Personally, I always wondered why they decided to theme their settlement in the way that they did. We are, of course, on the cusp of technological and magical advancement, and there is no need for them to live in the 'old' way, but I suppose some Ponies still have a longing for the times long gone.

I say, there are reasons why those times are long gone. Running water and central heating comes to mind. A lack of sand in your bed is another. It is curious to note that the area was started with the help of some of Applejack's relatives. It appears that enjoying dirt runs in the family.

The town was started a year ago, for the purposes of starting a new cultivar of apple. I had no idea that arid desert land was capable of growing fruit crops, but this is why I am not a farmer.

I also wish they would grow some other kind of fruit, but well, this is apple country, and if you don't like it, you can git out.

I'm sure they have terraforming Ponies there to help though. I should send them a surveyor, maybe.

Now, the problem is that their town is literally in the middle of Buffalo Clan territory. The Buffalo, of course, being another race who was gifted by the bombs a thousand years ago, but have staunchly refused to embrace advancement and evolution, preferring instead to live as they did a thousand years before, with sticks and fire and mud and no television.

This is why we are superior.

The Buffalo have their right to their claim on land, but have not had the notion to draw clear borderlines. Therefore their territory is disputed, and now they are engaging with some kind of land wars with the Appleloosa Ponies, and this was the gist of the letter that they had sent.

I have told them that an official visit has already been planned and that they should be expecting my delegate to arrive at the start of next month.