Diaries of an Equestrian Overlord

by KitsuneRisu

20th February

9.00 AM

The annual Best Young Fliers competition is about to be held in Cloudsdale in a few hours. Over the past week I have been noticing one participant in particular, struggling to practice her 'moves'.

Rainbow Dash.

One of the Ponies who will be involved in my Grand Gala Plan later this year, and one of whom will play a part in the destruction of the Scourge once and for all.

It is already no secret that she has some sort of fanaticism for the Wonderbolts, our special performance-flying squad. However, in order to utilize this for maximum chaos at the Gala, I will have to dangle incentives in front of her like a carrot for a bunny.

The first part is to simply have her get close and have a taste of what it is like to be one of the team.

A little under-the-table bits and the Grand Prize for the Best Young Fliers competition had been changed from an all-expense-paid trip to Marelibu for 2 weeks to a day with the Wonderbolts, who will also be guest judges.

Of course, I will be the grand judge, so as to... assure Rainbow Dash's victory.

It is simple.

---

9.21AM

Ah, Twilight, your strain-face. I love it ever so much.

---

9.22 AM

Interesting spell. And appropriate, too. Rarity is half-insect already anyway.

---

10.13 AM

It appears that Rainbow Dash and the FlutterThing have left for Cloudsdale. Since the city is just outside of my monitoring devices, I shall have to, once again, fall back on my trusty spyglass.

---

10.27 AM

The little grey Pegasus just flew in front of my line of sight.

Her eyes.

They burn!

---

10.45 AM

And the gang is back together. It was not a few months back when spells of this magnitude would be out of Twilight's reach.

It was not such a bad idea having her placed in Ponyville.

It has not impacted on her magical development in a negative way at all.

---

11.00 AM

I can't see.

---

11.40 AM

I still can't see.

---

12. 30 PM

What is going on in there?

---

12.45 PM

Fudge it, I'm going to be late for the competition. I have to leave now!

---

1.30 PM

And the competition is off! I snuck my diary along.

They don't have a clue what this is. Now I shall write about them right in front of their faces and they will have no idea.

That's why I have a private box.

---

1.33 PM

The Wonderbolts are in fine form, as always. They never cease to amaze and impress. Today they pulled off their 'Koltvoord Starburst' maneuver, and believe me, it was a sight to behold.

---

1.43 PM

And the contest has begun. It's time for me to start judging.

To be honest, I really hate judging other Ponies. It's far too easy.

Contestant 1

And we're off! Number one was this little orange thing with flubby pink hair. She did a few loop-de-loops, a bunch of mid-air Dragon rolls, and a quick-stop.

I give her points for effort, but no marks for creativity.

4/5

Contestant 2

Number 2 is... wait. Is that... that actor again?

No, much too young. Also, Pegasus. Silly me!

3/5 for looking like that actor.

Contestant 3

Number 3 was absolutely boring.

1/5 for boring me.

Contestant 4

Number 7 (where is 4?) simply came out and started to barrel roll. Over. And over. And over and over and over.

1/5 for failure to launch.

Contestant 5

Number 5 was this yellow dear with a silky pink mane.

She managed to do a Triple Open Banana-Split into a Reverse Front-Hoofed Candy-Plant. If it weren't for the fact that this competition is rigged, she'd probably win.

5/5

Contestant 6

Number 6 is

Oh no no no no no no no

The eyes

She is going everywhere.

No, not over here, please.

Oh, she's all over the place

Will somepony turn a fire hose on her?

Oh the eyes, the eyes.

Was that intentional?

How many...

No, no no no no.

This is a catastrophe

Oh my Colt no.

No.

No.

4/5. Not bad!

Contestant 8

Number 8 was one of those grey stallions with black hair. He was doing so well up until the part where he started to perform.

1/5

Contestant 9

I missed this one because I had to use the facilities. I do not miss the facilities for anything.

0/5

Contestant 10

Number 10 was just happy to be there, I think. Didn't really put his heart into it.

1/5

Contestant 11

Number 11 did the exact same thing as number 3! I don't know if 11 copied 3's routine, or 3 copied 11's routine, so I am disqualifying them both.

Contestant 12

Number 12 was a buff thing. Beads of sweat hanging from his orange muscles as he lifted an entire storm cloud above his head and gave off rays of manliness.

Unfortunately, this is a trick competition, not a strength competition. Disqualified.

Contestant 13

Number 13 was quite alright, I did like the part where she came right up to me and started to wink. Flattery will get you nowhere, my filly.

4/5

Contestant 14

Who cares about number 14? Where is Rainbow Dash?

Oh, there she is.

---

3.13 PM

Egad, what is that thing?

It appears the spell Twilight cast on Rarity has severe side effects. In addition to the wings that she had given Rarity, it has taken over the rest of her body, and turned her into a grotesque caricature of the unearthly hybrid of Pony and Caterpillar.

I have this uncontrollable urge to burn her with fire.

Rainbow Dash, on the other hoof, isn't half bad. I can't say that I agree with her choice of accompanying music, but there you go.

I will be honest now, Rainbow Dash's repertoire is in fact quite amazing, creative and, well, fast.

If she actually manages not to make mistakes at every opportunity, however, I would have a much easier time giving her the prize.

Poor Rarity is growing spastic in the background. Nopony else besides me seems to be noticing that she is convulsing with the pain of being mutated into a bug. All eyes on Rainbow Dash, it seems!

Rainbow Dash is moving on to her second phase.

Cloud spinning? That is truly nice!

I wonder if I could integrate that stunt into my

Whoa.

That was close.

Missed me by a hair.

Rainbow Dash had better pull out something truly amazing to clinch the prize.

---

3.45 PM

Unfortunately, Rainbow Dash's execution was abhorrent. She had scored, possibly, the lowest score of the lot. Even that sonic rainboom move she pulled at the end wasn't a winner because it was done so far to the ground that I couldn't really see the main explode-y bit, and what is a stage for if not to contain one's performance?

Fortunately, on the other hoof, I can lie and say that I'm awarding her the grand prize because she saved the lives of three Ponies and an insect.

By the time I had reached Rainbow Dash, it was good to see that the magic on Rarity had worn off and she had somewhat returned to normal.

Rarity even saw it fit to apologize for her 'crashing' of the competition, but of course I don't blame her; anypony undergoing such disfigurement of both mind and flesh would not be in full control of their actions.

But that had integrity, and I respect Rarity for it.

Either way, have a good day, Rainbow Dash, you have truly earned your day of fun with the Wonderbolts, sort of.

Enjoy it while you can!

---

8.00 PM

I have decided to give the runner up, contestant number 5, the holiday prize. She actually earned it, and I always reward hard work and inventive tricks.

See, Luna? I can be nice.

I can be.

Comments

[TigerCat111]

I have decided to give the runner up, contestant number 5, the holiday prize. She actually earned it, and I always reward hard work and inventive tricks.

See, Luna? I can be nice.

I can be.

Yeah, for once