• Published 14th Sep 2019
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Diaries of an Equestrian Overlord - KitsuneRisu



Take a look at the entire events of Season 1... through the eyes of a Princess.

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14th April

9.00 AM

All that talk about history had me reminiscing. I normally don't think back, but I can't help but remember how a few of the important people in my life had got started.

I feel like I should write it down, so I guess I will.

It's just a bunch of remembrances from time past collected here in this section. You could say it's something like a compilation of Cutie Mark stories, perhaps. It's just nice to have around in case you need it for whatever reason.

Now I remember Twilight Sparkle. For whatever reason, she was born with an incredible amount of raw magical energy. This only happens once in a blue moon, and it just so happens that she was born right in my own castle city.

Quite amazing!

I hadn't heard of her before the day we met. Usually it was a long process of finding Ponies, testing Ponies and then sadly discarding Ponies because they were simply not good enough, but the day I found her was the very day I knew she was something special.

It was a bright morning, and my school for the Magically Gifted was having its regular semiannual intake trials. The trial consisted of a magical test which far exceeded the level of the fillies of that age, which meant that only the best would be allowed to enter, and they were being invigilated by four of my strictest, most hard-hinded teachers.

The tests are assigned at random, and Twilight's test, as I remember, was to hatch a Dragon egg.

As a test, of course, hatching eggs using magic is one of the harder things to do, because it goes against nature, and any magic which attempts to subvert the rules of nature is more difficult. Any Unicorn knows the basic spell of levitation and manipulation, but gravity is by far the least of their worries when it comes to true magic.

Not to mention that usually the subject dies in this test, because hatching an egg before it's ready is called a premature birth, and that is never good.

Twilight, as I read about from her initial assessment, had troubles initially.

Possibly it was nerves, or performance anxiety, because I've known her all her life and she does have this thing about 'showing off', and she can never use the bathroom if someone's talking to her.

In fact, it was right about that time when I was in the school courtyard, milling about and enjoying some caramel pudding when two things happened.

Firstly was a sonic rainboom, which had been pulled off by Rainbow Dash. It spread throughout the sky, not unlike the one she did at that Young Fliers Competition the other month. And similarly so, everyone only saw the results and not the performance.

Twilight must have seen it and got, I don't know, inspired or something, because merely a moment later, a sickening crunch could be heard, like the sound of a thousand ponies running over cornflakes, and a Dragon's head destroyed the roof of one of my towers.

Needless to say, I quickly rushed in to see the commotion, and there she was - Twilight Sparkle - floating in the middle of the classroom with her eyes glazed over like a double dipped old fashioned donut. Amazing sparks of magic were pouring out from the tip of her horn, as her entire body was being wrapped up in a blanket of pure energy.

It was like experiencing life itself. A sensation not unlike a mix of unadulterated bliss and contentment spread around me, and my eyes were opened to the new age of wonder.

But then I put down the caramel pudding and focused on Twilight.

Magic was leaking out of her a bit ungracefully, and had affected a multitude of things in the room. Firstly she was floating, which was still within reasonable limits, but she also had made all the invigilators float as well. I received a lot of complaints from them about this.

She also had turned her parents into some kind of shrubbery. It seemed rather disrespectful at the time, but well, she couldn't control it.

And finally, she destroyed Spike. Well, I say destroy, but I mean...

well, yeah, she did destroy Spike.

I guess I'll have to go into that later.

But regardless, there was Twilight, and I lay a hoof on her shoulder to siphon all the magic away into my horn reserves.

The rest is history, as they say.

At the same time, however, another Pony would grow up and come to move into Ponyville.

While I have many Ponies working for me in this regard, Cheerilee is one of the best that I have. Her intrinsic nature of public speaking has led her to take up the job of a teacher, and she has made a fine Pony of herself in that little town.

I first met her at, of all places, a disco. She was younger then, a teenager, but in her geeky and awkward state she had come across the expression of dance. I was visiting one of the more popular night spots in Canterlot that night, and there on the dance floor was Cheerilee, burning a hole in the lino.

She herself had just come out of grade school at the time, and was taking a short break to live it up before continuing her education.

She was working part-time in the disco, serving as an instructor during the day and enjoying herself during the night. That night when I came in, she took notice. It's hard to miss me, of course, but she came right up to me and gave her salutations.

What immediately struck me was how clear she was in speaking, and how easy it was to understand her. She had this way about her which made everyone be able to follow what she was saying easily, and her instruction hit all the right points.

Of course, it wasn't perfect, but no one is. It was still far better than the average, and that's all you can say about that.

One thing I had noticed, however, is that she did not have a Cutie Mark yet.

She was considered quite old not to have one, but there are rare cases.

In fact, I remember having asked her at the time about it, and she simply said that she was not bothered, because when it will come it will come.

That very night I asked her if she would like to join me in my castle for a little proposition.

How could she say no?

We talked for a while, but I explained, essentially, that I was looking for some Ponies for a little experiment. Since she didn't seem to have that much emotional attachment to the concept of the Cutie Mark, I told her that she would be quite suitable for the test.

She asked me what it was about.

It was simple. All we were going to do was try to manipulate her world scenario to influence the Cutie Mark. That was all. She wanted to be a teacher. She knew she was good at teaching. It was merely time and opportunity that had led to her mark not showing until then.

If anything, she would be just at the right time, and things would be perfect.

She wouldn't have to do anything, really. All she would have to do is live a normal life, undergo regular observations and have regular meals. She would only have to just eat what we tell her and perform certain activities for a specified time during the day, and we would cover the rest.

The test would last from when she agreed (if she agreed), until the appearance of her Cutie Mark. All lodgings, utilities and food would be provided by us, she would get to live a very comfortable life, and she would even be compensated for her trouble.

She was curious.

The specifics of the test was given:

Essentially, and this was the hard part, she could not eat anything but daisies. Nothing but. In her room she would be surrounded by daisies, and she would have to have daisies upon her person wherever she went, whenever she left her room.

Well, she loved daisies, as it were, but I told her that she might probably be sick of them by the end of the test. It was a fair warning.

She said it was fine.

The other thing, I told her...

the other thing, was that for 2 hours a day, you have to smile.

Smiling is technically not difficult. It might hurt a bit at first, but the problem is that the action must be enforced.

To that end she would have a spell placed upon her that would cause her to experience slight electrical shocks if at any time, during this 2 hour period, she would not smile.

The tests were so derived to test the physical and mental.

The flower test would see if her physical interactions would affect her Cutie Mark in any way. By eating and 'absorbing' flowers in her daily life, would they somehow cause an effect?

The smiling test was more mental. By reinforcing through punishment the idea of 'I must smile', this smiling thing would turn from a task to second nature, and be ingrained in the psyche. Would that cause an effect?

She managed to do it for three entire months. A few days under, but still.

Many times I had asked her, do you want to quit? Are you not feeling up to this? But she was resolute and committed. Few Ponies could match her determination, and for this I respect her.

So on and on for nearly 90 days she stayed and lived in this matter, and on the end days of the third month suddenly she shouted out for the head scientist; a Cutie Mark had finally appeared.

And it was three smiling flowers.

We had a celebration that night, back at the disco where I first found her.

She was there, dancing with her new Cutie Mark, as if it were her one and very own. In a way, I think it was. She earned it, regardless of method, and this one came even more difficult than most other Ponies'. She had no reason not to be happy.

Knowing that she enjoyed teaching, I offered her a job at my school of Magic if she ever wanted to teach. She politely declined, saying that she loved children and she would much rather work with them. The schoolbarn at Ponyville was the most natural choice. I wrote in to the Mayor and had her teaching within no time at all.

And that is where she remains until now.

Of course, I also did come up with the idea of making her teach Ponies about waiting for a mark. She agreed with me on the concept that one should always wait for a mark, because what good is it if it doesn't represent who you are?

Of course to her, her flowers will always remain a sign of her dedication and hard work through that most difficult part of her life.

And you can't say fairer than that!

On the other hoof, I am reminded of a story where things did not go that smoothly, and much effort was required to earn the aid and trust of the one known as Zecora.

As is most definitely known, Zecora is a Zebra, and Zebras aren't from around these parts. They are quite similar to us, however, in physique and stature, but their colours are only of clashing black and grey, and their patterns are what sets them apart from each other.

I'm sure Twilight Sparkle only knows about them because I must have mentioned them to her once before

Zecora is a pretty quiet Zebra. She doesn't talk about herself or her company openly, and I feel she might have something to hide. However, in the years that I've known her, she hasn't caused any trouble here, and that's more than I can ask for.

But I ask for even more and she's happy to oblige.

All I know about her is that she's a Zebra and that she's really good with chemistry.

When I first met her, she was taking a 'vacation', as she called it. Thinking on it now, it might have been a bit odd, because she was definitely the first to come all the way into the middle of Canterlot to do so. She was first spotted wearing her trademark brown cloak, but that was a wise idea, since you would not believe the row she caused when someone 'found her out'.

She was arrested and put in a cell for disturbing the peace. Initially the guards also thought she was a ne'er-do-well wearing makeup and trying to bother the populace.

But I knew of her race. This was the first time I had met one up close and personal, though. I was quite amused.

Of course, I had her freed immediately. You can hardly hold someone on a misunderstanding, and she was probably just there to... well. I didn't know at the time.

I asked her what was she doing there, anyway?

And she simply said that she was there to shop.

One thing that immediately struck me as odd was that she knew our language. I know also that there are many languages all over the world, and from the area that she's from, it is a different thing altogether.

It turns out that she came to know our language while on her travels. She picked it up very quickly, and now has a great command over it. Of course, by this point I was starting to think of the circumstances by which she arrived, since she was being quite avoidant of the subject.

At that point I knew she was not going to cooperate if it wasn't by her own volition. I gave her an ultimatum.

I was the ruler; the owner of everything under my watch, I told her. She would be allowed to travel my lands without hindrance, and if anyone were to disturb her I would see to it that they were arrested rather than her.

But as she left I also told her in passing that she could only run until the ends of the earth, but I was willing to listen.

Three days had passed until she returned.

She requested an audience with me, and entered my throne room with dignity and pride. Head held high, she requested to stay in my lands.

I invited her back to my chambers for a little chat.

As it turned out, she was a scientist. Back in her hometown of

ok

actually?

I don't know how to spell it.

I really ought to, but I don't. It sounds like she's saying 'mmebekokwe' or something like that but I'll be smitten if I knew how to actually spell it in her language.

How embarassing.

Anyway, she was a scientist. Back in Zebra lands, they are a religious sort, and even she brings her religion along with her. However, she never let that stop her pursuit of scientific endeavours. Her experiments caused her to be shunned from her town and exiled, and she has spent the last half year travelling since.

Being one of high intelligence, she picked up our language quite simply; she knows 8 other languages besides, and just seems to have a knack for it. Besides that, her knowledge of chemistry was quite astounding, rivalling that of some of my own scientists'.

I asked her if she would like a job.

Originally I asked her if she would like to work at the castle, but she said no. She was more comfortable amongst nature, and she told me that she had passed through a forest on the way here. A forest that had a lot of exotic flora and fauna, as she put it, which would be ideal for her.

Well, I told her, that place is quite dangerous. Would that be appropriate?

Well she told me of the dangers of her own lands, and that was enough to convince me.

Either way, I had a hut built for her at a choice location a little bit into Everfree Forest, and made all the equipment she required.

And she remains one of my best scientists to date.

Well, I think that about does it.

That's all the people I can remember off-hoof and I think I'm done remembering anyway.


7.43 PM

Oh right, Spike.

Needless to say, I found Spike as an egg.

Dragon eggs aren't too common around these parts, but I know where to find them. They are used extensively as part of my entry exams for hopefuls wanting to join my 'Magically Gifted' school.

This serves two purposes. One, as mentioned earlier, it's hard and presents a good test. The second is that Dragons are pretty overpopulated outside of my borders.

In the wilder areas of the world, Dragons roam like nopony's business. Being on top of the food chain helps, and being incredibly huge and magically inclined makes things a bit easier as well.

This test was designed both to stress the limits of our pupils, as well as keep the Dragon population down.

Spike was just another egg in the bucket back then. He didn't have a name, he didn't have a face. He was never meant to be where he is today, although I'm always glad that he managed to make it all the way to this point.

Spike's case was something quite different. As we all know, Twilight had a direct hoof in the birthing of Spike, and I would mention now that he was about two weeks premature at the point.

At birth he was underdeveloped. He had a soft squishy brain, soft squishy bones and a soft squishy structure. There was nothing hard or firm about him at all. Then, Twilight happened.

Her magical energies flowed through Spike. It caused rapid aging within him, causing him to grow a few hundred years in a mere second. It wreaked havoc with his system, and it was probably not too good for him either when he had to age back down.

Amazingly this act did not hinder him, but rather stabilized his growth. Although he was still born two weeks premature, that rapid aging and de-aging caused him to not slowly go brain-dead over time. He developed as a normal child would, but with some slight oddities due to the unusual circumstances through which he came to be.

I have yet to fully document them all, but they are nothing major, really. Just some minor tics and quirks of behaviour.

What was interesting, however, was not this, but rather the fact that Spike was then open to modification afterward.

Normally, Dragons are quite resistant to magic. They have a natural barrier around them which deflects the stuff; sort of a natural defence mechanism. Spike, however, entirely lacks this barrier, and is completely open to spells being thrown at him with no issue at all.

Spike also has this thing for Twilight Sparkle. Being that she was the first thing that he saw when born, he had imprinted in his little mind that Twilight is his mommy.

It was kind of dear for the first couple of years but then became a bit annoying. Of course, by now he knows that Twilight isn't his mother, but he still has this blind loyalty that you get with every good child to their parents.

These two factors combined made the decision almost too obvious. One thing Twilight required the most was a target to practice some of her magic on. Spike was the obvious choice, seeing how he both lacked magical defences against it, and also allowed it, which is the much more important point, really.

Spike was to be assigned to Twilight as her personal assistant, much like I have my own assistants. Nothing but the best for my Twilight, after all!

Before Spike was assigned to Twilight, however, I had certain things done to him. In order to be a greater asset to Twilight than any other assistant, specific things needed to be changed in order to allow him access to a greater number of items than a regular pony could use.

For one, and one thing that I have mentioned previously, is his use of this specific human magic. Originally, I wanted him to double up as a waste disposal unit, something that he... ironically has grown into naturally. But prior to that, I had intended to implant the Human's destruction spell upon him as a method of turning him into a dustbin.

The spell did not work due to two reasons. There was the lack of knowledge of the spell itself, and Spike is not the most magically gifted Dragon around. The best I could do was give him fire breath that glowed a pale emerald green.

The fire could burn things, but whatever it burnt would then later appear at a location of his choosing, no matter the distance, as long as he could picture it in his head.

It was convenient at the least.

He could also produce items in the same manner, and I don't even want to question the mechanics of that.

It serves its purpose of sending and receiving messages over long distances instantaneously, like some sort of mobile messaging device. Like a... Spike Messaging Service of some sort.

Hm.

Well, another thing we put in him was prehensile hands. Dragons are not known for their great dexterity, and are usually found fumbling with anything smaller than a boulder. Spike, on the other hoof, was given some... well, surgery, to make his hands perform in a way similar to that of a Human's. In this way he was able to manipulate most human things (look at how he uses a quill! None of us even needed to teach him that), and he could easily handle large amounts of items.

Honestly, these hand things are really convenient. I wonder how we would have ever survived without them if we didn't have magic.

There are a bunch more surprises in Spike but suffice it to say these are the two most prominent ones. Perhaps I will elaborate on a few more in the future, but it's not hard to see what's different about him, and essentially you could always just credit me anyway.

I deserve all the credit.

So that's Spike.

Ever since then, he's been just hanging around Twilight. It's been all those years since he was first grown through my precious tower roof, and I don't think he has any idea, really.

In the end, all these talented and amazing individuals are all intertwined.

I like to think that we all have a special magical connection with each other, maybe even before we've even met one another.

Well, yes.

That special magical connection is called Princess Celestia.

You're welcome.

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