Spike x Rarity: Las Pegasus Wedding (Garbage Fic)

by DakariKingMykan

Part 2: Wedding Crashers

Author's Note:

Some people just don't get the message...

This fic is trash, and I want no praise for it!!!

The next day came a lot faster than anyone thought, and Spike soon found himself all dressed up in a his little tuxedo, and next to him stood his beautiful bride.

He couldn’t stop shaking in his legs, especially the way she looked at him through the transparency of her veil and giggled at him.

Together they stood by an alter in a small chapel at a the hotel they were staying at, which Rarity’s folks went to great lengths to rent for the small ceremony.

Just then, who should enter the room but Snips wearing a minster’s collar. “Good morning every-pony, are we ready to start?” he asked.

Though everyone was surprised to see him and to what he was going to be doing.

“Snips?” said Twilight in disbelief “You’re the go-between?”

“Yeah,” said Snips “Why else do you think I have this collar on?”

He explained how his father owned and ran the hotel, and that sometimes he needed help on the weekends, because managing a hotel was hard work.

Despite his age, the laws of Las Pegasus weren’t exactly that tight in Snips department. True, he wasn’t allowed in Casinos, or the pubs, but he was legally made an ordained minister and could legally marry couples.

“Do you two want to get married or not?” he then asked.

Rarity cleared her throat, “Yes, I do.”

“No, no, you say that part late.” corrected Snips. Then he sighed and murmured, “…This always happens. Why do I always get stuck with stallers?”

Rarity stood tall and ready and nodded to Spike, who was trembling more than ever now, which she found adorable, but really she, too, was feeling a bit on edge.

The friends were all gathered around and watching from the sides as witnesses.

Cookie was dabbing her eyes and trying not to break out and bawl.

Snips cleared his throat to start the ceremony…

“Dearly behooved… we are gathered here today--”

Suddenly, Pinkie came bursting into the chapel squealing, “Hold on, I have your flowers, Rarity! They’re right here! I got’em! I got’em! I got’em! I got’em! I got’em! I got’em! I got’em!”

Snip sighed in dismay, “Oh, my gosh…we’re never--!”

“They’re gorgeous,” said Rarity “Now how is my frock?”

Snips cleared his throat again, “Dearly behooved… we are gathered here today to--”

“How is my frock?” Rarity cut in again, much to Snips growing irate.

“Oh, my gosh; we’re never going to get through this!”

“Do you need more flowers?” called Pinkie “I think you need more flowers! I got more flowers for you right here!”

“Yes… We need more flowers!” grumbled Snips.

Twilight used her magic to levitate Pinkie up and out of the way so as not to interrupt anymore, while Spike just gazed at his bride, sweating bullets.

“Um… gosh…” he stammered “I… I don’t know what to say, but you look… beautiful.”

Rarity blushed and fluttered her eyes at him as she asked, “Have you got the rock?”

Spike blinked once, “…What?”

“Have you… brought… my… rock?”

Spike hesitated, “Uh… yeah, totally, um… I had some ponies help me bring it in because it’s kind of the size of Fillydelphiea.”

“Okay, we’re renting the hall by the hour!” wailed Snips “If you two want to get married, can we please focus!?”

Everyone quieted down, as did Spike and Rarity.

“Thank you.” sneered Snips, and he cleared his throat yet again “Dearly behooved… we are gathered here today to join this dragon and this pony in the bonds of matrimony.

If there is any-pony here who knows why these two shouldn’t be joined, speak now, or hold their peace.”

At that split second there was the sound of screaming coming from outside, making everyone turn towards the door, and poor Snips looked ready to pull his mane out from his head, “Oh, my-- What is it now?!”

“What’s going on out there?” called Spike.

Before anyone else could question, the doors to the chapel burst wide open, and there stood non-other than Garble, Fume, Clump, and Charcoal, and they looked ready to be causing trouble.

Rarity screamed, “…Not you beasts again!”

Garble laughed, “Aw, the little bride has a temper.”

Spike looked furious, “What are you creeps doing here?!”

“Word reached the Dragon’s Land that a wedding was occurring here,” answered Clump.

Everyone looked back and forth at one another wondering how the dragons could have known about all this.

“When we heard of word that a dragon was marrying a pony,” said Charcoal “We thought we were going crazy, but it’s good thing we came here to see it’s real.”

“That’s right,” hissed Fume “…Now we get to punish you and all of your little pony friends here.”

All the dragons snickered and extended their claws.

Snips freaked out and headed out the backdoor.

Sweetie Belle was frightened, and hid behind her parents; both of which were also trembling in fear at the sight of the dragons and having never had been near any before in their lives.

“They’re even more hideous up close!” cried Cookie.

“Hush, hon,” said Hondo “Don’t make them any angrier!”

“Too late…” Garble hissed, and he lunged forth, but Twilight put up a magical wall, bouncing him right back into the others.

“You dragons leave here before I get really mad!” she growled at them.

“Same goes for us,” Rainbow added on everyone else’s behalf as the group all stood together.

Garble and the dragons just stood up snickering.

“I don’t like the sound of that.” whimpered Fluttershy.

“Looks like you’ve gotten strong, little princess.” Garble teased, “But now it’s time we introduced you to our little play-toy… one that was only just recently unearthed during a volcanic eruption in the Dragon Lands.”

Twilight blinked once, and then Garble and the other dragons reached behind themselves and then donned magical medallions on chains.

Twilight gasped, “Those medallions!” and before she knew it, the dragons bound her with magical light streams, and the others as well, pinning them all to the floor.

Twilight, Rarity and her family tried to fight the magic with their own, but to no effect, and Garble only laughed, “Guess it’s true, you really can’t teach an old pony new tricks.”

Security ponies had heard the commotion and dashed for the wedding hall, but one look at those fierce dragons made half of them halt and turn to run the other way like the cowards they were.

Those that stayed tried to fight-- blasting them with magic, or throwing rocks at the dragon, but dragons only used the medallions to shield themselves with magical walls, like Twilight did.

“Take a hike, bozos!” growled Garble, and he roared loudly, scaring the guards away.

“Look at them run.” chuckled Fume.

“Hey, come on,” said Clump “Let’s get what we came for and beat it out of here.” And then he looked down at Spike, still trapped by the magical bindings “…I’d like to roast that squirt by nightfall.”

Spike’s heart skilled a beast “Roast me?!”

Then before he knew it, Garble used magic to levitate him towards his gang.

“No, Spike!” cried Rarity.

Garble then teasingly waved him before her taunting, “Take a good look. You barely got married, and now you’re about to become a widow.”

He laughed with his gang and then they bounded out the door and out of the hotel, and the last thing the friends could hear was Spike screaming, “…RARITY!!!!!”

Garble then used his magic to bind Spike’s mouth shut, “Can it, Pipsqueak! Save your screaming for the procedure.”

“Yeah,” hissed Charcoal “We’re going to take you to the Dragon Lands and dip you in deep lava until you harden in stone.”

Spike’s eyes widened and he screamed softly due to his mouth being held shut, and they continued to fly away.

As soon as they were far enough, the spell that bound all the friends in the chapel ceased, and they could all move again, but Rarity just remained on the floor, weeping behind her veil.

“Spike!” she sobbed “They… took my… Spikey-Wikey… and ruined my wedding!”

She continued to bawl hysterically.

“Oh, Rarity!” Fluttershy sobbed as she comforted her friend, and Pinkie Pie joined in the cry and embrace, “A ruined wedding! It’s just… just…” she couldn’t finish.

“Snap out of it, all of you!” snapped Applejack “Spike’s in danger and we got to save him!”

Twilight agreed, “Let’s go… to the Dragon Lands!”

Sweetie begged to come along, but her parents wouldn’t hear of it, as even they themselves would not be going.

“The Dragon Lands are no place for you anyway.” Twilight said “It’s very dangerous, especially now that the dragons have those medallions.”

“Exactly what are they anyway?” asked Rainbow.

“I’ll explain on the way,” said Twilight “First we should get the family up to their room where it’s safer.”

Rarity still looked horrible devastated from losing her groom, and Twilight took pity on her.

“If you want to sit out of this, Rarity--”

“Never…!!” Rarity shouted as she bolted up onto their feet, scaring the others, “…Those nasty creatures kidnapped my Spike, and I’m not going to let them get away with it!”

She flicked off her veil and shook herself out of her wedding dress.

“…Onward!!” she declared and raced out the doors of the chapel and out of the hotel, “I’m coming, Spikey-Wikey!”

“Rarity, wait up!” Rainbow called as she raced after her.

Soon, all the friends were racing out the door, leaving Rarity’s family to adjourn to their room.

Sweetie Belle sulked, but her parents comforted her.

“Do you think they stand a chance?” asked Cookie.

“I have no clue.” replied Hondo.

Twilight, Fluttershy and Rainbow could fly, but the other ponies couldn’t run that far to get to the Dragon Lands, not even Rarity despite her determination. So each flyer carried one of the non-flyers on their back.

“What exactly were those medallions?” Pinkie asked to Twilight.

“I’ve read about them,” said Twilight “But I never thought I’d actually see them.

A long, long time ago, a dragon lord attempted to enhance himself using pony magic. He discovered an ancient spell to absorb the magic from a band of unicorn ponies that came to explore the land, which frightened the ponies away.

The Dragon Lord soon found his mistake as pony magic proved to be too much for him to handle on his own. So instead, he divided the magic; sealing it off within four medallions forged from the hard metals of the land.

The Dragon Lord then sealed the medallions deep within the bowels of the Dragon Lands, hoping to study them another day, but those angry pony settlers who had their magic stolen had returned to reclaim their powers, ensuing a large battle which resulted in all the ponies and the dragon lord being downed.

Thus, the secret of the medallions was lost.”

The girls thought this all to be astounding.

“And now Garble and his gang have them.” said Applejack, feeling that was how they found out about the wedding. “They won’t be too easy to beat.”

“She’s right,” agreed Fluttershy “We’ve never faced dragons armed with pony magic before.”

“I don’t care even if they have the power of a-million ponies!” growled Rarity “I shall not rest until Spike is returned to me safely!”

In her fit throes she nearly knocked Rainbow off balance and she nearly fell off!

“Hey! Watch it!”

“Oh! Forgive me, Rainbow Dash.”

“We’ll get him back, Rarity.” said Twilight “I think I already have an idea of how we can stand up to Garble’s little toys.”

That was exactly what the others wanted to hear, and Twilight softly explained to them as they continued their journey.

Because of their newly acquired magic, Garble’s gang made it to their homeland faster than normal.

Many, many dragons had gathered around large and very deep lava crater, and were hollering and cheering for Garble’s gang, while hooting and snarling at Spike, whom was locked in a small steel cage suspended by a chain and pulley over the lava pit.

“Let me out of here!” Spike demanded.

Garble only laughed, “…Nah, I’d soon jump into that lava pit myself than let a traitor like you go unpunished!”

The dragons all cheered for Garble.

“It’s bad enough you live amongst the ponies, but marry one…!

…MARRY ONE!!”

All the dragons roared and unleashed flames of fury into the air, but Spike wasn’t the least bit scared to speak his mind.

“I love her, and she loves me! That’s something I wouldn’t expect big, bad brutes like you would ever understand!”

His snarking only earned him a furious glare from Garble, and he used his magic to shock Spike within the cage.

Garble then fumed a small breath of smoke through the bars, “You know, maybe there is something to this pony magic.”

Then he whistled for the other members of his gang, and they each stood along the ledges of the lava pit, and then combined the magic of their medallions to enhance the heat of the boiling lava below, making it brighter, hotter and more bubbly.

A dragon like Spike would be roasted to bit inside, and whatever was left would be fossilized.

Poor Spike could already feel the heat reaching him from way up above the pit.

“You can’t do this!” he cried.

Garble laughed “Sure we can. We must! The laws of the dragons are crystal clear…

…Right dragons?!”

The dragons all cheered, and a song broke out.

A dragon is proud, a dragon is strong,
A dragon roars loud, so what can be wrong?
A dragon is fierce, and takes all this with pride
But taking a pony to be his bride…!

Garble roared, along with all the other dragons.

Whoever thought of anything so silly?
It’s just enough to boggle up the mind.
When I dragon falls in love, it may not be so bad,
But to fall for someone or something not of their kind…!

Are you crazy, or just dumb, well I got news for you chum.
You defy the dragon way, and now you’re going to pay!

Spike shuddered fearfully.

Ponies and Dragons are a terrible match,
They can’t be together, no chance, no catch.
You may want to, but you won’t, and forgive me if I boast
We’ll dunk you in the lava and roast you into toast.

Ponies and Dragons is a “No”
They’re not meant to be, and it never will be so
You make mockery of us all, so right here on the spot.
We’re going to dip you in the pit of lava really, really hot.

The dragons all cheered, and Spike gulped hard.