• Published 12th Sep 2019
  • 4,385 Views, 311 Comments

Rarity's Colt - Mocha Star



Rarity, among others across the land, signed up to be foster parents for foals after numerous disasters struck the nation. Few expected to be called upon, among the least was Rarity.

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Health Issues

Rainbow Dash landed beside Sweetie Belle with a gust of wind that buffered the fillies into covering their eyes while Scootaloo covered Snickers with her upper body. “Hey, give him to me,” Rainbow said landing and quickly moved past Scootaloo who held onto Snickers tightly.

Scootaloo scowled at the mare. “No, he’s mine, you can’t have him, Rainbow Dash!”

“Fluttershy, little help?” Rainbow called up to the buttery yellow mare slowly descending.

“I’m sorry, Rainbow Dash, I’m just not as fast as you are. Um, girls, there’s something wrong with Snickers and we have to take him to the hospital, okay?” Fluttershy said quietly enough to be heard by those nearest to her.

Scootaloo shook her head. “No, I won’t. Only if you take me, too.”

“We don’t have time for this,” Rainbow grunted. “You take him, I’ll take her,” she said and firmly nosed Scootlaoo up and onto her back. “Hold on, Scoots. You girls are okay, right?” Rainbow asked the two remaining fillies.

“Yeah,” Sweetie Belle said fluffing her mane to get some dust out of it, “but what’s wrong? What’s going on?”

Fluttershy looked at Apple Bloom and smiled. “You really did train for this. We’ll explain more later, we have to get to the hospital, meet us there, okay?”

“Fluttershy, if you don’t move it; I’ll drag you by your mane!” Rainbow shouted from high above.

Fluttershy flapped her wings and ascended at a steady pace until she neared Rainbow. Words were heatedly said to the Fluttershy, who then flew off at a sprint with Rainbow following, both leaving trails behind them.

“What in tarnation was that about?” Apple Bloom asked and shared a worried look with Sweetie Belle.

Sweetie looked back to her sister’s home and then down the street. “I don’t know, but I think we should tell Rarity and Twilight. They might know what’s going on, and Rarity should be there regardless because he’s family. Wanna split up?”

“Sure, but Ah’m gonna have ta tell mah sister. Ah don’t want her gettin’ all worried over me bein’ out without her knowin’.”

Apple Bloom and Sweetie split up and went to their self issued tasks while Rainbow and Fluttershy landed at the hospital. “Hey, Nurse, we need help!”

A stallion ran around the counter and took Snickers in his magic while two mares brought a gurney to lay him on. “What’s wrong with him?”

“He’s got an arrhythmic heartbeat that led to him fainting. That’s twice this afternoon, something’s wrong with him,” Rainbow said, “he needs a cardiologist on call and angiogram, stat.”

The room went silent for a split second as Rainbow finished talking. A doctor came around the corner. “Bring the colt into room four, we have to make sure he’s alright. Thank you for bringing him in, the nurses will take any information you have to give.”

Snickers was rushed into a hospital room leaving Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash watching him go. Fluttershy nuzzled Rainbow Dash. “Rainbow, why don’t you show how smart you are more often?” She asked. “As a friend, I have to ask why you don’t. As your best friend, I really want ponies to see you in a better light.”

Rainbow shook her head. “Because smart ponies don’t fulfill their dreams. I want to be a great flier, and great fliers don’t have eggheads.” Fluttershy sighed quietly. “Besides, when are you gonna show that smile more often? You could finally get a date,” Rainbow winked at her friend.

Fluttershy blushed and hid behind her mane. “N-no. I like the idea, but there’s too much happening for me to do such things right now.”

“Excuse me, ladies?” Nurse Tenderheart asked as she approached. “I need to know everything that led up to his loss of consciousness.”

“Yeah, we can do that. Right, Fluttershy?”

***

Snickers awoke in a hospital bed with a jolt, checking himself for straps holding him down or any injuries he may have had that brought him to where he was. “Hey, sleepy head,” Scootaloo said from beside him. She was lying on the bed and holding him gently.

“This isn’t another fantasy, is it? I swear if you’re some avatar of Harmony…” Snickers trailed off when he saw the look in Scootaloo’s eyes.

“You’re here and okay, I think. You were with me and the girls and then laughed until you fainted, then Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy took you here,” Scootaloo looked at Snickers and smiled, leaning up to kiss him. “You’ve been asleep for a couple hours, hun. I was so worried you were gonna be stuck here and I couldn’t see you.”

Snickers lay his head back and groaned. “What happened this time? I remember you being funny and that was it, weren’t you shouting at my… personal area?”

Scootaloo snickered. “Yeah, it was fun. My aunts were right, that it made me feel better.”

Snickers looked down at the filly resting her head on him and gave her a shove. “You need to stop that, okay?”

“What?” Scootaloo looked hurt, “I was just gonna lay on you to hear your heartbeat… if you don’t want me to--”

“No, it’s not that,” Snickers said and lay his head back. “Stop talking about body parts and everything about making foals, everything related to that. It’s just… it’s really freaking me out.”

Scootaloo sat up and shimmied up to nuzzle under his chin. “I’m sorry, I really didn’t know. I figured you were okay with normal filly talk now.”

“Scootaloo, do you remember six days ago?” Snickers asked.

“Kinda, why?”

“What was my take on clothes?” he asked.

Scootaloo remembered fully and looked away. “I… guess I thought you were fine being like every other colt now, and sex is something we talk about sometimes, ya know?”

Snickers shook his head. “No, you’re talking about it too much. I was kind of okay with it when it was silly and just happened, but over the past couple days it seems like that’s all you and the others talk about. Are you going into your time, or something? Is that what’s going on?”

Scootaloo shook her head and looked at the door that was open a little before she turned back to Snickers. “No… kind of. Snickers,” Scootaloo said and climbed on top of him, “I want you to be my first. Claim me as your first mare of our herd, I promise I’ll make you happy and always be with you.”

Snickers’s eyes widened and he shook his head. “No,” he said sternly, “get off of me.”

“But, you’re my stallion and that’s what you’re supposed to do!” Scootaloo said and pressed her forehooves into his chest. “I feel a part of you agrees with me,” she looked between them and then met his eyes, frowning when he didn’t show the readiness she believed he should have. “C’mon, let’s get these sheets out of the way and you can make me your mare.” Scootaloo moved her forehooves and started to pull the sheets down.

Snickers grabbed her foreleg and shoved her with all his might, sending her off him and the bed onto the floor. “No, Scootaloo. That’s not how this works, it’s not how any of this is supposed to work! You don’t just tell me what to do any more than I can tell you what to do, and I don’t want you that way.”

Scootaloo hopped to her hooves and stood up with her forehooves on the bed and asked, pleadingly. “Then tell me, what do I have to do to keep you with me? I love you, and you have to love me because of last night. I’m ready, I can see you are, too,” Snickers looked at the sheets and grabbed a pillow from behind his head to cover himself with.

“That’s not what it means, Scootaloo,” Snickers said to the frustrated filly, “you don’t understand the love means more than sex. Love isn’t just mating.”

“Yes, it is! It says so in the book, it says so at the doctor’s office, every mare says that stallions are always ready and you’re ready,” she pointed to the pillow, “and that means you want me, and I’m ready, my tail is swishing, so it means I’m ready for you. So take me, I’m ready! We don’t have to be alone with each other, I felt you between us. I felt you and you waited, now I’m saying--”

“That’s enough!” Snickers shouted at Scootaloo. “I’m not a fucking stallion, damn it. I’m a colt,” Snickers’s voice cracked, “and you’re a just a filly. I’m not even going to have sex if I can help it, ever, with a pony. You’re not ready, Scootaloo, you’re just lonely for some reason. I’m sorry about whatever happened to you to make you think sex will make me stay with you forever, but that’s not how this works!

Snickers’s head swam and he groaned, lying back as Scootaloo screamed in anguish. Rainbow Dash flew into the room and wrapped Scootaloo into a hug while nurses and a doctor followed on hoof. “What happened, is everything alright with Snickers?” Nurse Beating Heart asked over the crying filly’s noise.

Rainbow Dash flapped her wings to give the medical team distance to work around Snickers. “I don’t know, nurse. She started screaming and he looks drugged, is this related to his--”

“Maybe, right now we have to check him over,” The doctor looked at the crying filly and gestured to the door. “Can you take the filly to the waiting room, please? She’s too loud and doesn’t need to be here to see this.”

“Sure thing, doc,” Rainbow Dash said with a salute.

Rainbow lay Scootaloo on a bench seat and looked down at her. “Hey, Squirt, what’s goin’ on?”

Scootaloo moved quickly and wrapped her forelegs around Rainbow’s neck. “He’s gonna leave me. I love him more than any pony ever... and he’s gonna leave me… and I’ll never love anypony ever again.”

Rainbow repressed the ten second long groan she felt building inside her chest and instead held Scootaloo. “It’ll be okay, I don’t think he’s going anywhere, and you’ve got a lot of years to find a pony that’ll love you.”

Scootaloo buried her snout in Rainbow’s chest. “No, you don’t get it. I offered myself to him and he said no. I’m ugly and not worth a stallion as amazing as he is.”

Rainbow glowered down at the filly’s back, then pushed Scootaloo back to look at her. “Open you eyes, Scoots,” Rainbow said calmly. Respecting her idol, Scootaloo did and saw a look of shame in Rainbow’s eyes. “I don’t want to ever hear you say anything like that again, do you hear me?”

“B-b-but, it’s t-t-true, no stallion--”

“No! First, don’t talk about stallions that way because you’re too young for a full grown stallion,” Rainbow stated, “second, you’re a beautiful filly that will grow up into a wonderful mare, especially if you hang out with me; it’s a guarantee, right?”

Scootaloo blubbered still, yet nodded.

“And just because you offer yourself to a colt, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you for saying no. Snickers is a lot of things, you should respect him for saying no. Most colts would fold under the pressure and do what you told them. Yeah, he’s kinda cool like that, but… I’ll be honest, Scootaloo,” Rainbow looked around and saw Twilight, Rarity, and Fluttershy looking at their little conversation with interest. Rainbow’s cheeks warmed, but she had something to do that was more important than herself.

“Scootaloo, is Snickers really the best and most amazing pony you can be with?” Rainbow asked implying the romantic aspect and not the selfish persona Rainbow wears like a cloak. Scootloo snuffled and looked at her forehooves that tapped against one another. “What did I teach you a while ago?” Rainbow asked.

“Th-that all I need to be happy,” Scootaloo sniffled wetly, “is to be happy with me. But, Snickers is the one I need!” Scootaloo retorted, but her strength waned and her posture sagged as she thought about what she’d done and how close she’d come to breaking not only trust between her friends, but her own vows to herself. “I… I kinda messed up, Rainbow.”




Scootaloo averted her eyes and whimpered. “What did I miss, Scootaloo?” Rainbow asked.

Scootlaoo looked at her hooves and sniffled loudly. “I… didn’t just ask him to take me, Rainbow Dash.”

Rainbow’s mind ran through a half dozen possibilities. “You didn’t flash him did you? Oh no, you didn’t do anything like touching yourself, did you?”

Scootaloo shook her head meekly. “I… wanted to give myself to him and since he’s in bed... I kinda got on top of him and said I’d do the work… and rubbed myself on him like I heard works to get a stallion to poke out,” Scootaloo blushed and whined. “I’m a terrible filly for doing that, aren’t I?”

Rainbow lowered her head until her forehead was touching Scootaloo’s. “No, squirt, you just let your body do the thinking for you instead of your head. I guess Snickers is kinda awesome for saying no, so many things would be worse if he had just gone along with it.”

Rainbow heard Rarity and Fluttershy talking, the tone came across as something positive and Rainbow knew she’d find out about it later. “C’mon, Scoots, I’ll take you back to your home. You shouldn’t stay here and you can talk with your aunts about a lot of these things that I’m not very good with.”

Scootaloo giggled and pressed her forehead slightly harder against Rainbow’s. “Yeah, like bein’ all sappy.”

Rainbow leaned back. “Exactly, I’m way too awesome to be sappy, especially over some pony that doesn’t--”

“Howdy, ya’ll. Ah just got the word, is Snickers alright?” Applejack called to her friends.

Rainbow stopped speaking with a squeak. Her eyes widened, her wings twitched slowly open, and she stiffened her forelegs. Scootaloo, as well as everypony else, knew how Rainbow felt about Applejack and the chance was too perfect for the filly to pass up.

“So,” Scootaloo said with a smug look, “you were just sayin’ how much you liked Applejack’s mane,” she said curiously, “why’d you stop? I like how you were saying her mane is like wheat blowing in the summer breeze and mpghn!”

“That’s enough soda for you, Scoots. Oh, hey, AJ,” Rainbow said hovering and holding the squirming filly under her foreleg while the other leg wrapped around Scootaloo’s mouth. “I didn’t see ya come in. Uh, I’ve got some wheat, er, hay to breeze… I’ve gotta go!”

Rainbow flew out of the waiting room with Scootaloo and a second later the rest of Rainbow’s close friends laughed together.

“What’s so funny? Where’s Rainbow Dash takin’ Scootaloo? Ah thought she was gonna wait fer me’n Sweetie.” Apple Bloom looked at the laughing mares and shook her head. “Grown ups.”

***

Even through fur, the doctors stethoscope was cold and was unpleasant as ever. “Well, young stallion, you seem to be okay for now. I have news, but your parent should be here so I don’t have to tell you both at different times. Nurse,” the doctor asked a mare, “can you get his parents?”

“Oh, just a mother, Doctor. I’ll see if she’s in the waiting room right away.”

“See, just a moment and we’ll be able to figure out where to go from here,” the doctor said patting Snickers’s hind leg comfortingly.

“Whatever, am I gonna die or something?” Snickers asked with a bit of snark.

“I can honestly say no, but I can’t say anything else until she arrives. So, your mother takes care of you, then?”

Snickers shrugged. “She does what she can. I’m an asshole, so that makes it tough on her.”

“Excuse me, but does your mother tell you that? Because if she’s the one saying something like that to you, it’s not okay.”

“Ha,” Snickers grinned. “Nope, I eat a tablespoon of snark and wash it down with a glass of I know better. It really helps keep me alert and ready to say something that’ll get a bit or two in my jar just by reacting.”

The doctor laughed. “Well, I’ve never heard of it put that way.”

“Excuse me? Oh, Snickers! I’ve been so worried,” Rarity rushed to him and nuzzled him. “You have to stay calmer, at this rate you’ll give yourself a heart attack before you’re twenty.”

“Ah, hello. I’m the pediatrician, Doctor Horse. Charlie Horse, but you can call me Doctor Horse.”

Snickers snerked and looked at the doctor. “Seriously? I hope you won’t be a pain in my flank.”

“Ah, the classic jokes at my name,” Doctor Horse sighed longingly, “I wish I was a whiny little five year old, then I could tease you back,” he said smiling and poked Snickers in the side, eliciting a giggle from the colt.

“Doctor, while that’s all well and good; I wonder if I might take my son home to rest after such an exciting day.” Rarity asked in the most polite way she could.

“Well, first I have to give you the prognosis. Snickers is okay, but he seems to have a heart murmur that led to his fainting spells. He can go home in a couple hours, to monitor his healing. I’ve already treated the murmur as best we’re able and by tonight, Snickers should be back to full health without any fainting spells.”

“Oh, that’s so nice to hear. Snickers,” Rarity said giving Snickers a one legged hug, “I'll gather your… oh, you didn’t have anything, did you?”

Snickers placed his forehoof on Rarity’s foreleg. “Mom, I need some clothes.”

Rarity beamed. “Why, Snickers, I’d be delighted. Once the fame dies down some over the past day’s events I don’t see why I can’t make you something by… Wednesday, at the soonest.”

Snickers gave Rarity the best puppy dog eyes he could and got the best reaction. "Oh, fine," Rarity caved when his bottom lip trembled, "I'll refit your shirt when we get home."

"Awe, I was hoping for something full body that breathes like Neighgytion cotton and weights as much as ten feathers while gathering enough attention to be eye pleasing while not attracting the room. Oh well," Snickers shrugged nonchalantly while Rarity looked at him with her jaw slack, "I guess anything anypony else has works, too."

"I think not! No child of mine, by birth or adoption, shall wear anything but the best there is. I know what you're doing," Rarity smirked at Snickers, "and I accept your challenge.

"However, it will have to be between my orders. You have a lot of chores to do in order to make up for what I'll have to pay."

"Yes, that's all nice to hear. I'll go and have a nurse check on you shortly. Did you have anything else for me?"

"No, thank you, Doctor Horse." The doctor nodded to Rarity and left. "So, what led to this fainting spell?"

"Mom, remember what I said this morning about Scootaloo? Well, it turns out I don't… but she really does to me. She tried to do some stuff that I'm not cool with, but I think she's got issues that I can't handle."

"I understand, darling. When I was in the waiting area, we overheard Scootaloo telling Rainbow Dash and she's apologetic, at least." Rarity rested her foreleg on Snickers's chest.

"Well...okay, I guess. But, when I, wait. Um… about me passing out," he tapped his forehooves together and smiled awkwardly. "I started laughing because the g<f>i<l>r<i>l<e>s," he blinked, "we're taking about your dildo wearing shoes and I lost it."

Rarity blushed bashfully. "You needed speak of h<i>m<t> in such a manner. M<a(i)>ster Ed is enough."

Snicker felt himself sneer. "Anyway, I started having trouble breathing and fell over. I tried asking for help, but they thought I was laughing. Then I woke up here."

Rarity cooed at her son. "Awe, don't worry. m<s>o<i>t<s>h<t>er is here to make sure you're going to get all better."

Snickers growled. "I need to see Twilight, somethings wrong and I'm hearing… things."

"Oh? Like what?" Rarity asked puzzled.

Snickers sighed in defeat. "Just, can you please get her?"

Reluctantly, Rarity nodded. "Certainly, she's in the waiting room with the others. I'll return shortly."

Three minutes later, Rarity returned with several others in tow. Snickers grinned when he saw Fluttershy and when she went straight to him for a hug, Snickers gladly returned it.

"Oh, you poor colt. Two faintings in the same afternoon? That's so unfortunate, did you need anything from me?" Fluttershy asked while sharing her deep blue eyes with Snickers.

"Hold on, now. We've got time fer that stuff later. What's this about Snickers needin'ta see Twilight for so bad?" Applejack asked.

"Yes, we don't know one another very well," Twilight started, "but if there's anything you need, and I'm able, I'm willing to help."

"I'm hearing words," Snickers said to a blank expression. "I mean… when certain words are being said,I hear them in two or three ways. It's just, really confusing and hard to understand. When I came here, I was told magic’s the answer.

"So, can you magic me better?"

Twilight looked at Snickers. "Well, just to humor you, with your permission, I'd like to scan your mind with my magic to see if there's anything wrong before I offer help I may not be able to provide."

"Sure, just don't mess with anything in there that makes me, me." Snickers said.

Twilight shook her head as her horn lit. "That's unethical and illegal. I won't do anything without letting you know first."

Twilight's horn glowed and shortly after so did Snickers's head. Twilight gasped and her magic stopped with an audible snapping sound.

Rarity yelped and flinched with all the others. "Darling?! What happened? Your magic hasn't ever done that before."

Snickers rubbed his head and looked at the mares. "What happened?" He asked and the room fell silent. "What?"

Rarity placed a hoof to her chest, glaring at Twilight. "<Twilight, what's he saying? He can’t speak Ponish anymore! Twilight, what did you do to my son?!>"

Snickers looked at Rarity and his ears twitched at the combination of words and horse noises she made. Twilight responded in kind. “<Nothing, Rarity! I was just starting to check him for outside magic or-->"

Whatever Twilight said seemed in incense Rarity and Rarity shoved Twilight with her magic against the wall with enough force to indent the purple mares body shape into it. Snickers was glad it was cheap drywall and not anything made for durability.

Applejack intervened in the shouting, stopping Rarity from charging Twilight. “<Gals! This ain’t the way ta fix nothin’! Fightin’ ain’t the answer, is it?>” she asked. Snickers watched and noticed Fluttershy standing between himself and the others, her wings low and her crouched the same. He could tell she wan’t placid, she was defensive of him and emboldened him.

“Mom! Stop!” Snickers shouted and got the attention of the room. “It’ll be okay, whatever happened, whatever happens, we can work this out.”

“<Oh, my poor colt,>” Rarity whined and turned back to Twilight. “<fix this, or by Celestia’s golden shoes, I’ll do something we’ll all regret later.>”

Snickers gulped at the conflict. “Great, now what are we supposed to do about all this mess?” He asked not expecting or getting a reply.

I have to get out of here. I can't... Snickers thought and climbed from his bed before dashing from the room ignoring the others.

Author's Note:

So, book 1 is done.

The next story will be focused on Harmony.

Harmony isn't what it seems, Snickers will start a change that might be pretty big, and there will be more mature situations that'll give the next story an M rating just because violence and sexual situations. Tags and triggers will be appropriate.

Thanks for reading and the next story is gonna be much better, I think, than even this one.

Also, no unknown dream sequences or shouting at penisus... well, the first one for sure.

Please, don't freak out. A lot of things are gonna entertain you going forward.
👌🏽

Comments ( 26 )

Also, no unknown dream sequences

Yes. Please, no more.

Dangit. Every time I get a little more from this story, it stops! You write too well! STOP TORTURING ME!

Ahem. Good story. Much like.

9984958
So shouting @ one another's junk should happen at least once more in the future? :yay:

9984975
It certainly livened up the CMC’s day. Too bad it almost deadened Snickers’... :pinkiehappy:

9984977
Yes, writing it brightened my day, as well. The next first chapter is nearly done, so the sequel will be started soon!

of course the next story is going to have an m rating, just ask scootaloo whose dealing with issues I'd like to know more about if she's willing to do what she did to Snickers.

9985140
Honestly, I don't know how far that might go between them but right of the bat there's adult sexual really and sex will happen off screen... Probably.

9985177
discounting the sexual content, something mentally scarred scootaloo to develop her extreme abandonment issues. I don't know where they fall on the content scale of this site so just assumed it was rated m.

9985188
Ohhhhh. Yeah, she's jacked up and that will hopefully be covered in book two. Worst case my plans get pushed to book 3.

Why is Rarity wearing a bandanna in the cover art? At first I thought that was fur.

10201686
It was the only good cover I found since I can't afford a custom one.
:)

10335243
Basically whether there is a fannon agreement on the society setting. . . . And what, if any, these are.

10335248
Mostly the setting is females are in charge of the society while males are seen as a precious commodity.
There is no agreement,per se.
Most RGRE you'll find are clop, where all females chase the males relentlessly in order to enjoy the stallion for physical sake.
Some RGRE are realistic enough, but are focused on survival on some way. Surviving in the Everfree, mostly.

The worst are the ones where everypony is OOC doing cloppy things way beyond normalcy in order to get off.

Like one where the main character gets woken up by a hard core bj in order to make sure he's okay after some life threatening event.
Wtf?! Lol

I am taking inspiration from several stories, as well as my own head canon, to create reason behind the show's mostly female population being in all areas of power and authority, while males get to have fun, be free to do what they like, and try to feel equal while being treated like a commodity to be protected.
Not just as physical items, but as a means to survival of the species.

I hope I understood your question and answered it well enough.
Anything else?
:)

10335634
Kinda what I had inferred, Thank you for confirming it :moustache:.


Time shall tell,
Where the meat of the story shall dwell,
Be its characters failing to gell,
Or develoing a horrendous smell,
Or falling down a well,
Eh, I'm sure it will all be swell.

10335831
Time is the master of all things.
Like commenting on comments from more than a month prior.
I doubt, sadly, that the person will recall out understand what your talking about.

Hey, the fist chapter was posted on my birthday! Thanks for the late present 😂😂
First story ive seen posted on september 12th.

10373559
Well, congrats and consider it an unofficial gift.

but your parents should be here so I don’t have to tell you both at different times. Nurse,”

Well that was an abrupt ending.

Okay, not the ending I expected, but now you have me currios about the next book. Well done. :twilightsheepish:

10426809
I've read a lot of good books that end on cliffhangers and continue the next book where it was left off, for just that reason.

A surprisingly good novel. Looking at the likes, I didn't expect such a good story. You take advantage of the fact that ponies are protagonists and present them in an unprecedented way. While other writers focus on storytelling like a history book, you portray culture and biology through daily pony interactions. We know they are ponies because they act like ponies, not like people who look like ponies. A very good representation of a different species. Different behavior, different culture, all of this is really well presented in this novel.

A really good example of Xenofiction

Keep up the good work. Waiting for more. Tracked and faved.

10488047
I'm into book 4, with no end in sight; so read on!

Thank you, it the way. Your comment at the conclusion of this book was well thought out and written. I love comments, but intelligent ones are a bonus and hard to come by.

I appreciate it and you.

10488130
Most of all, I liked the use of the pony anatomy. For example, when Cheerilee pulled Snickers by the ear, she was dragging Snickers under her with her forelegs blockinh his foreleg. This could not be done by human, only a pony could do it. This is a great using of biology to write pony novels.

10686467
Oh thank goodness. I will go ahead and say that Im not against a story involving sex as long as its meant to be a part of the story, not the story itself. Thank you for letting me know :)

10687735
Yeah, it's implied and almost acted upon, but doesn't happen yet.
The first instance is barely planned, in fact, but it's way ahead from here.

10755601
I see it’s a testament to your writing that I got flashbacks to these clients I thought about. Through no fault of their own they led really sad lives and will probably always have to have some kind of supervision. Your writing just made me think of them.

10755718
Thanks, it gets deeper in ways, too.
I think I may be projecting my own flaws into my main character through parts of the story, while others are representing other facets of my personality.
Thanks for the comments,I love them.

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