• Published 12th Sep 2019
  • 2,289 Views, 32 Comments

Comedic Burst of Funniness - Lunatic God



Sometimes time travel is possible. Sometimes it goes wrong. Sometimes a futuristic soldier goes on a killing spree to reach the time machine to get back home, and begins an era of video game characters finding their way to Equestria. It happens.

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The CS Invasion

Spike was dashing through the crystal halls, drifting left and right through the twists and turns, sweat dripping down his scales as he tried to get to the throne room as fast as possible. He turned the final corner, seeing Cadence and Shining armor sitting on the ground in front of the throne, seemingly concerned or even scared of something. He turned his head, seeing Flurry Heart to the side, playing with her blocks. He turned back to the princess and Twilight's brother but instead was met with... something else.

He bumped into it, getting sent into the ground, and quickly start to crawl backward, trying to see the top of whatever stood in front of him, but it faded away, leaving him with only a glimpse of a black sphere looking object with a red line, along with a fully black body like his, but much taller. What was that?

"Spike?" Cadence called questioningly, watching him stare up into nothing. "What's wrong?"

Spike looked back down to her, disbelief on his face. He heard faint hoof steps, starting from where he saw the strange creature before it quickly faded away as well through the hallway behind him, his keen hearing allowing him to follow the steps until they were gone.

"Spike!" Cadence yelled, making Spikes head snap back to her, seeing her beckon him over. He obediently got up and jogged over to her, plopping onto his rump next to her.

"What's wrong, Spike? You look like you've seen a Ghost," She asked.

"I don't know. I saw something with two legs, but before I saw it's face it just... faded away. like a bad dream was interrupted by Luna," He finally answered, gaining a confused look from both the ponies. After a second or two though, fear replaced the princess' confusion as she leaned forward.

"Was it tall?!" She frantically asked.

"Yea--" Spike answered, getting cut off by another question.

"Was it white?! Did it have a weapon?!" She shot off two questions in succession. Spike had to think about the second one for a moment, looking down at the ground.

"No, it was black, and... Maybe? I couldn't see its claws." Spike answered truthfully, looking back up at the panicking pony.

"Princess..." A guard called, getting the attention of the two ponies and dragon.

"I think something's--" He was cut off as blood started pouring out of his neck, his limp body falling to the ground immediately.

Cadence gasped. The three of them ran over, hoping to find out what befell this poor pony. She lifted him with her magic, looking over the dead guard's neck, noticing scars that looked like he was stabbed all the way through the neck with a burning blade.

"This doesn't look like the work of a pony," Cadance concluded.


Noir Lime continued running through the halls of this strange castle, not worrying about noise, only worrying about escape. He took many twists and turns in this grand building, finally finding a place to rest. He burst into a small room and shut the door behind him, slamming his back into the door to keep it shut if anything tried to enter, having deactivated his cloak halfway. He slid down the door, panting, staring into the dark nothingness of this empty room.

Suddenly, light filled his vision, revealing two rows of bunk beds on either side. he recognized it as an old school barracks.

"Hey!" His head snapped left, seeing another sparkling white horse clad in golden armor, an angry look on his face. Noir immediately whipped out his CS-Pro pistol, blasting a laser that cut through his head like a hot knife through butter. The guard fell, blood pooling at his head, as five more guards introduced themselves across the room.

He watched the horses rapidly approach in the long room as he leaned forward. before they reached him, he slammed his back into the door once more, shattering the wood door into splinters, immediately turning and running. He took potshots at the guards pouring out of the door, hitting one in the leg, knocking it down, and grazed the neck of another, leaving a black burn mark. He continued running as he watched bolts of energy whiz past his head.

Finally, one hit, blasting his leg. He let out a yelp of pain as he staggered, nearly stopping, but continued on, limping away, hoping to escape before he bled out. Another bolt hit his other leg, knocking him down with a cry of pain. As a final stand, he threw his pistol to the side, grabbing the C-02m from his back.

He flipped onto his back and sprayed into the stampede of golden-clad horses, gunning them down, filling the hall with screams of pain and red lasers. As suddenly as it had started, he ceased fire. All the horses lay dead, making a scene that would make any civilian puke. He dropped his arm, letting go of the weapon and allowing it to slide away and hit the wall with a metallic clank. He noticed that the recoil from the war machine had pushed him back a considerable amount. He let his head fall to the ground, awaiting his suits systems to recognize that he was not in combat and start the regeneration process.


*static* Noir Lime, come i- *static* Noir Lime, respond! *static* Noir! Speak, dam- *static*

NOIR!

Noir Lime awoke with a start, gasping and panting under his helmet.

Noir Lime, this is *static* -me in. I repeat, this is Pr- *static* -in!”

“This is Noir Lime, please repeat credentials.”

“Finally! This is Proxy, alongside *static* -re awaiting your coordinates.”

“Copy. Coordinates unknown, location unknown, planet unknown. Noir Lime is LIS. I repeat, Noir Lime is L. I. S. Will continue to search for a way off this planet.”

“Noir, listen to me! We aren't in our universe anymore! We’re in a different f- *static* timeline altogether!”

“Noted, Proxy. Beginning location approximation of world crudely nicknamed Cartoon Land.”

“Stay put soldier. We’re coming to find you. Marine out.”

“Don't do anything stupid before we get there. Proxy out.”

“I'm afraid you're too late to prevent my actions. Possible hasty exit requested. Noir Lime out.”

Noir Lime quickly stood, darting to his weapon and grabbing it while simultaneously activating his cloak, which extended its abilities to whatever weapon he held, making his C-02m equally undetectable. He didn't move far however, respecting his orders and standing still as a statue against the wall, his weapon at the ready.


“What happened here?” Princess Cadance inquired the medic.

“No idea, princess. No surviving witnesses to recount what happened here, so your guess is as good as mine.”

Cadance stared at the mass of mangled bodies and dried blood with a mix of disgust and fear. From what she could tell, this was the work of the behemoth, but it did promise to not harm a soul if she helped it get home. So who did it?

“My apologies,” a deep ethereal voice arose from nowhere, making her blood run cold.

“I was pressed into a fight or flight situation…” she heard hoof steps approach her, before stopping in front of her.“... so I did what I was trained to do...”

A black figure similar to the behemoth, although slimmer, faded into existence, it's hands behind its back like the behemoth stood. What it said next chilled her to the bone, being said in a way that would instill fear and convey years of experience and war.

“.. kill.” It hissed, staring down at her as she glared up at it.

“But do not worry.” It faded away once more, it's footsteps retreating back to where they came.

“My orders are to wait for my comrades.” Her eyes widened. There are even more?!

“How many of you are there?!” She unintentionally said out loud.

“Civil Security… More than one can count. Us heroes… only three.” another wave of fear snakes its way through her body.

“S-Civil Security? I'm guessing they’re enemies too?” she asked.

“I don't know why, but yes.” His voice echoed in the grand hallway. He said it in such a way that showed that he was once a part of this group. “But if it's the Ghosts… And they send the horde…” He whispered the last part of that statement directly in her ear.

“You don't stand a chance.”

Author's Note:

My plan is to incorporate the ghosts as a massive horde, where each individual is nearly impossible to kill without using the PSI's, which would play in their favor as they would swarm the protagonists. Any ideas on this?