A Chance Encounter?
“Thank you, come again!” The stallion you just serviced had bought a flute for his son, you were more than happy to give it to him 25% off. Birthdays only come once a year after all. It was customary of your family to give discounts for birthdays, your shop's popularity and customer count had increased drastically because of that, thus the revenue gained from selling your wares were what kept your business going for so long.
You owned a music shop in Manehattan which your father used to own, and your father's father before him, it was pretty much a tradition that the son was next-in-line to own the shop and run it. One problem stood out though, actually having a son to be next-in-line.
You groaned out loud to yourself having remembered that your father thought you may be a homosexual, he even confronted you about the matter and had arranged a meeting with your neighbor’s daughter, it's not that you hate mares, or didn't want to be with one, you just have a tiny problem with actually approaching one and starting up a conversation.
Sighing to yourself under your breath, you continue on with your work. Simply awaiting the next customer. 'Boring day as usual.' The shop was pretty generic, basic flutes, trumpets, cello's, pretty much all orchestral instruments with the occasional few that were from different cultures you think are really neat. The floor space was small with two 'aisles' so-to-speak, with instruments littering the walls and accessories on the aisle racks ranging from reeds, to extra parts, to straps. There was a counter in the back of the shop which you worked behind, and a door behind it leading upstairs to your apartment, the rent was cheap and work was close to home so it was an ideal place to work/live. Although the walls were becoming a little run-down so perhaps it was time to invest in new drywall.
Of all the instruments in your shop, the cello had a certain 'tune' to it that you just adored. Something about it made your ears ring with pleasure. Every music shop owner before you had a specific instrument in stock with all the amenities and extras to that specific instrument. Yours was the cello, so following suit you carried top-of-the-line cellos, bows, bridges, pretty much every part of the cello. You even carried a custom one in the back which was signed by the original maker, Andrea Amareti. The cello in back has grown dusty over the years seeing as you had less and less time to play. Owning a shop is no small task.
'One hour until closing, come on one hour...' Time seemed to crawl whenever it got to that last hour of the night. However, time could not foresee what was about to take place, just after the clock struck one minute after seven, a black-maned, gray mare walked in carrying what looked to be a cello case on her back. The cello case had a gold plate on the top which read something, but it was hard to make out what was inscribed on the top, considering she was carrying the case on her back. Your eyes dropped down from the case to the light purple eyes of the gray mare, your heart pounding as you wondered what a beauty what doing in your small shop.
'woah, she's pretty, oh dear Celestia what do I do? If she asks me something I may freeze and lock up! Don't ask, just browse, don't ask, just browse!' Sure enough she walks straight up to you.
“Good Evening. Do you do repair work on instruments?” The mare asked.
“Uh...d'I... uh, what?” Your mind jumped back and forth stumbling for the right words, your heart-rate increasing by the second, a small sweat bead forming on your temple.
“Sir, do you repair instruments?” She has a slight edge to her voice.
“Y-yes we-I mean I do. D-do you need that cello repaired?”
“No... I just need you to look at it... of course I'd like it repaired” She rolled her eyes at your last comment.
Sighing to yourself quietly you decide it's better to talk to her as if she were one of your stallion friends. 'All I need is twenty seconds of insane courage, and I can do anything.' Convinced that you have pulled yourself together, you clear your throat, and open your mouth.
“I'm sorry for earlier, I'm just not used to beauties entering my shop. Now then, let's have a look.” You thought you saw a faint red tint form on her cheeks. 'Wow that was insanely straight-forward of me,' shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you continue on with the conversation.
She places the case on the counter that barely has enough space for it. You turn the case around, clicking open the straps, clearly forgetting the name plate you open the case slowly. The contents inside stun you to your very core. It was magnificent, it had been hand-carved by a master craftsman. The strings were of top quality string imported directly from Whindia. The wood was of spruce at the top, with maple on the back, side, and neck. The cello uses ebony tuning pegs and the bow, sweet Celestia, was made of brazilwood. This cello is much like the one you have in the back, however it seems one of the tuning pegs was busted out of place, much to your amusement, your cello uses ebony pegs as well.
“T-this is beautiful, by my mane, how did you obtain such a masterpiece?” Your eyes gleamed, as you awaited the answer.
“My family are all musicians, so we get only the best. I come from a wealthy family history, so ordering instruments like this is not hard. But this was my mother's cello, Octave Philharmonica.” Her face lit up at the mention of her mothers name.
'Wait, did she say... Philharmonica?' Closing the case, you slowly turn it back around to get a look at the name plate. Etched on the gold plate is the name Octavia Philharmonica. 'Holy sweet Celestia, it's her... The Master Cellist!' Your heart kicked into over-drive, your mind couldn't process who was right in front of you. Beads of anxious sweat forming above your eyes.
Throughout history the only ponies that ever had the title have been the Philharmonica's. The Master Cellist was defined as being not only the best, but a prodigy who had gone above and beyond all expectations to bring about a new age through a new music style or genre with the cello.
“Uhm, sir? You there?” She waved a hoof in your face to bring you back into reality.
“Y-y-you're Ph-Philharmonica... The Master Cellist.” Your voice, studdering and soft, as you fell back on your haunches to the seat behind you.
“Yes, yes I am. Are you okay? You don't look good...” She sounded a bit edgy and worried. “Listen I don't have a lot of time, I really need this fixed before my next performance, can you do it or not?”
Shaking your head violently and slapping yourself to snap out of your daze, you stand up and lock the case.
“Of course I can, you just took me by surprise is all. One question, why are you in my shop? I'm pretty sure someone of your caliber would be in a higher-up shop, or have custom ordered parts.” Inside you were giddy with curiosity and amazement at the sight before you. Your head was less cloudy from the excitement, and your heart rate started to calm down.
“I'll give you the short version, I'm in a bit of a hurry. I was looking around town for a shop that specialized in cellos, I had overheard some people talking about your shop. From what the village people say you normally give discounts and have good quality instruments so I decided to check you out.” Red spots started forming on her cheeks, she begun to open her mouth only muttering out a few 'it's, i's, uhm's' before spitting out a full word. “I-I m-mean the shop, not check you out, t-the shop! I meant the shop...” An awkward moment of silence passed between the two of you, she had tilted her head downwards in an attempt to make it seem like she wasn't there, her hoof clawing at the floor. Your head bent sideways as you cocked an eyebrow. 'why did she try to make that clear? I knew what she meant...' You were the first to break the silence.
“Hmm... I guess that's a good sign? Anyway, give me just a moment, I'll be right back with a spare tuning peg.” Sounding sure of yourself, you walked into the back room to get your cello case with the spare ebony tuning pegs you'd need to fix her cello. They were somewhat hard to obtain and pricey, so it was better you didn't sell them off to random strangers, but Octavia was the one exception.
Returning to the front you lug in a big case, same size as hers, but no name plate. You set the case down just behind the counter and click open the two locks. Inside looked like an almost identical one of hers. Picking out a peg from one of the side pockets you bring it up out of the case, you then lift up the still open case, and lean it against the wall.
Next order of business was to repair it, unlocking the straps, and picking the cello out of the case slowly, you close the lid and set it on top of the case. Removing the old peg, you place it back in and string it up to just the right pitch. Your ears were used to the sound of the cello, so finding the correct pitch was easy.
Octavia looked around the shop at all the various instruments, curiosity got the better of her. All you could hear in the shop was her light humming, and the noise the cello made as you tuned it to the right pitch.
A minute passed since you began your work. You finish up by gently scrubbing and cleaning the instrument where your hoofprints were to give it that final touch-up.
“I'm done fixing it Mrs. Philharmonica” You say with a hearty hum, almost matching her tune.
She lightly giggles at your mock-hum and walks over to pick up her instrument and pay for repairs. Her look went from you to the corner where you had propped up your cello. Her eyes instantly grew wide and darted back-and-forth between your instrument and hers.
“You have a cello that looks almost exactly like mine?” She sounded confused, her facial expression clearly showed it. Her eyes stared you down awaiting the answer, like a hungry wolf watching it's prey.
Low class people of your stature normally didn't have such distinguishing instruments, only two cellos were ever made to this caliber of craftsmanship. The question now was, is this instrument of hers a copy, or the real-deal?
“Yeah, I do. I noticed the similarity earlier, so it was easy to get an ebony tuning peg, and replace it with one of my own.” You couldn't help but grin, feeling accomplished for helping her.
“How did you know it was ebony, I never told you.” She cocked an eyebrow and looked at you with wonderment.
“I'm actually well-versed in the cello, something about this instrument just makes all other music incomparable, the quality of this instrument surpasses even the princesses powers. My family for generations has owned this shop and kept it running, each with their own specific instrument that they specialized in. Mine is the cello such as my father's was.” You smiled with pride towards your father and the work he's done for you and the shop.
You lost sense of time as you stared off into the distance, remembering your father, you gaze unintentionally at her light purple eyes. You were quickly reminded that she was there by the sound of two hooves clapping together, clearly she knew you were lost in space.
“I've not met anypony else that could play the cello well, and fix it. Let alone have one similar to mine, what's your name, shopkeep?”
You give her your name.
“Ah I see, well nice to meet you, as you already know I'm Octavia.” She smiles and courtly bows her head.
You smile and your cheeks turn red, you turn away for a moment hoping she doesn't notice. Judging from her light giggling and fanciful expression, she noticed.
Regaining your composure you proceed with returning the cello carefully back into its case and locking it up, you do the same for yours but keep it leaning against the wall.
“How much for the repair?”
“Uhm, considering it didn't take long, it's you, and the part was on spare, how about five bits?”
“Only five bits? But that's way too generous, I couldn't possible steal away an almost-free repair from you.” She was concerned for your well-being, something pushed her into giving you full price as opposed to accepting the generous offer, but you would not budge.
“Okay how about, five bits and a date?”
Her eyes grew wide once again, she clearly wasn't expecting that. 'What are you thinking you dumb dolt, you JUST met her...' Silence goes between the two of you for a few moments before she decides to speak up.
“Sure, I'll go on a date, but promise to bring your cello?” a half-smile formed on the right side of her face.
“Did I hear that right? You said 'yes'?” You thought your ears might have been plugged and you heard it wrong. You couldn't bring yourself to accept that she just said yes out of the blue.
Octavia looked quickly around the room, when she spotted the clock behind the counter she gasped and again, looked wide-eyed. 'She must love doing that.'
“What's wrong?” You inquired to the worried mare.
“I'm going to be late if I don't hurry. I'm sorry to dash out like this, but here's my contact card, and the five bits. I'll be expecting your call, but only after ten okay?” She smiles and runs out of the shop.
“Okay!!” You belched out but quickly withdrew the word seeing as she couldn't hear you anyway. On the counter sat a card with her name and number on it. By the looks of things, it was a business card, probably for parties, galas, or other 'gigs' one could think of.
It didn't matter, all you know is, you've got a date with a pretty mare, who has an almost identical cello, and is The Master Cellist.
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This looks good ima track and see what happens
hmm interesting you got my vote
Keep going......
plz don't stop plz
here have a pony
cdn.derpiboo.ru/media/BAhbBlsHOgZmSSIkMjAxMi8wNy8xNi8yM18xN18zN181OTlfNDYyODdfXwY6BkVU/46287__.jpg
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It isn't done, hahaha, the "incomplete" tag means it ain't done :)
hmm, hopefully the next chapter warrants it a better response, 14/1 is good, but i'm hoping to hit featured one day...
Pretty good. Decent pacing, but there are a couple things:
You have some run-on sentences in the first half. Also, you flip some verb tenses here and there.
The 'you' character seems to switch from emotion to emotion rather suddenly. I would suggest keeping hints that the shopkeeper is nervous.
"Her eyes stared you down awaiting the answer, like a hungry wolf watching it's prey." I'm not sure what this line has to do with the situation unless she was expecting a response that she would have had an answer for.
Also, try to use some other senses (taste, touch, and smell) to describe the scene. How did the cello case feel when you touched it? Was there a smell when you opened the case to such a fine instrument?
Interesting so far and I look forward to more!
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This ladies and gentlemen is what i look for, feedback! tyvm for it.
These will help me write next chapter, and i'm glad you like it :)
proof-readers can't pick every mistake up, so i guess he missed a few.
i know i wrote that "hungry wolf" line to emphasize her glaring at you, as if she was a little annoyed, or VASTLY curious, and technically she may already know the answer you'll just have to find out :)
This looks very promising. Keep writing!
It's great so far. Just one word: MOAR
You had me worried veridian. I didn't think that u could post a story so quickly after the mare to heart... This pleases me. Also, I hope I'm not the only 1 that knows where the 20 seconds of insane courage came from. And having girl problems? That sounds alot like me.
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sounds alot like me, because i have that same problem, i can't start a conversation for crap, but once a girl gets one going, boy i can talk.
words i live by everyday. well that and
"Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."
hey guess what people who probably haven't heard of me! I'm sick!