Romancing The Stone

by AlwaysDressesInStyle

Head Games

The next morning dawned several hours before I actually got out of bed. Sleep had come late and fitfully, and I wish Luna hadn’t had the night off because I really could’ve used some help with my nightmares.

Breakfast was waiting for me regardless. One of the many perks of being a princess was having any kind of food available at a moment’s notice. I’d had too many sweets the night before, so I opted for a simple bagel with a decent dollop of cream cheese smothering it. Okay, so maybe I hadn’t had enough sweets the night before. According to Pinkie Pie there was no such thing as ‘too many sweets’ and wiser words had never been spoken.

Dad was waiting for me at the dining room table. With my sleeping in, I wonder how many duties he’d needed to reschedule just to be available to lecture me? Even though I had nothing to do with Auntie Twilight’s decision, I was sure he was going to give me some sort of lecture. Probably the ‘big responsibility’ lecture, like every time I asked about getting a kitten or a puppy.

“Sleep well?”

“No.” I answered honestly.

“Got a lot on your mind?”

I remembered how Cozy Glow had just cut Twilight Sparkle off midsentence last night, and wished I was brave enough to just cut to the chase. Instead I just nodded. But maybe I could head off the inevitable lecture by beating Dad to the punch. “It’s a big responsibility. I wasn’t expecting it. Life’s going to be different from now on. Any idea why Auntie Twilight would do this?”

“We spoke after you went to bed. Your auntie has a rather enviable track record of redeeming former villains: Nightmare Moon, Sunset Shimmer, Starlight Glimmer, Discord, and Fizzlepop Berrytwist all come to mind. I think it irks her that Cozy Glow, one of her former students, was the one that got away. I think she feels guilty about not helping her. I can’t help but agree with her that we should give Cozy Glow another chance, but I don’t agree that it should be your duty to do so. If you don’t want to, you don’t have to.”

“I understand. But I want to give this a try. I know there will likely be a few missteps along the way. She’s a sneaky one, but I think I can do it. I spent some time talking to her last night.”

“You also inadvertently facilitated her brief escape from the castle.”

I blushed at the reminder. “I said there’d be mistakes along the way. I’m new at this. She got the best of me last night, and I’m sure she will again. How do you and Mom feel about this?”

It was Dad’s turn to blush. “We hate it. We don’t like the idea of having that deceitful little monster living with us. And we especially don’t like the idea of you spending time around her. Just remember, you’re to rub off on her, not vice versa.” He kissed my forehead. “We worry about you, sweetheart. Your mother and I love you and we don’t want to see anything bad happen to you.” He took one of my hooves in his own and looked me in the eyes. “It’s your decision to make. If you think you’re ready for this, we’ll support you any way we can.”

“Thank you.” I kissed his cheek. “Where is she, anyway?”

“The dungeon. If you’re not with her, that’s where she’ll be. We’re not letting her run free in the castle without supervision.”

“Would it hurt to treat her like a pony? Let her have a guard detail, much like my own. You’ve probably got an entire squad guarding her in the dungeon. But we’re only setting her up for failure if we can’t show her the kindness we want her to show us. Let her have a real room instead of a dungeon. It doesn’t need to be fancy; it just needs to not look like a jail.”

“Interior room, no windows. Spartan furnishings.”

I shrugged. “She doesn’t need much. I’m going to donate some of my old clothes that I’ve outgrown to her. And I think there’s one other thing she needs. Call it a hunch, but let’s get her a chess set. Her mark’s a rook, and she enjoys playing the long game. We may as well give her an outlet for all her scheming.”

“Who’s she going to play?”

“I don’t suppose you’d like to teach me how to play chess? Daddy-daughter time!”

Dad chuckled. “You’ve got it, sweetie.”

“Auntie Twilight mentioned she doesn’t have any family. How about friends?”

Dad shook his head. “She’s a complete mystery. There’s no record of her existing in Equestria at all. We don’t even know her birthday.”

“How sad. I don’t know if I can get any honest answers out of her, but I’ll try. There’s a good chance she doesn’t even know.” I kissed Daddy on the cheek one last time and then headed down to the dungeon to get Cozy Glow.

---

I’d been wrong. Daddy hadn’t entrusted Cozy Glow to a mere squad. There was an entire platoon watching her like a hawk in the dungeon. Two dozen soldiers stood quietly as the filly blabbed their ears off.

Cozy Glow saw me and her eyes lit up. “Flurry! I’m over here!” As if it was hard to find the only prisoner in the dungeons. “I’ve been talking to the guards all morning, but they’re not very friendly.”

“Did you sleep well?”

“Like a statue! And believe me, I’d know!”

I couldn’t help but chuckle at that. Despite their best efforts, I saw a couple of the guards repress the slightest of smirks. “I bet it felt good to actually sleep again. What was it like as a statue?”

“Horrible. I could feel and think, but I couldn’t see or talk. And there was no privacy. I could hear Tirek and Chryssie’s thoughts as easily as they could hear mine. It’s really hard to scheme when you have two other villains nitpicking, critiquing, and laughing at you.”

“To be fair, the whole point of locking you in stone was to prevent you from scheming. So it sounds like that was actually rather effective.”

“And of course, the birds.” She shuddered again. “They made fun of me for that too. Telling me that real villains aren’t afraid of a little dirt or bird doo. There were a few times we were covered in graffiti. And I don’t know what kept happening to Chrysalis, but she cursed herself for leaving her mouth open. Maybe birds were nesting in there?”

Cozy Glow was released from her cell, and the entire platoon fell into step around us. “What would you like to do today? I’m guessing you’d like something to eat, but after that our schedule’s clear. It’s a Sunday, and we don’t have any other obligations.”

“Breakfast would be great.” She had a bowl of cereal, while I grabbed another bagel. She asked a few questions on what had been happening in Equestria while she was gone, and I did my best to catch her up on current events. I was careful to keep things to just what was known publicly. As a princess, I had access to more sensitive information, and Cozy Glow was probably the last pony I should be discussing matters of the state with.

After breakfast, which was late enough we could have just as easily called it brunch, we went to go see a movie. Our platoon of guards split up, two guarding each door on the outside, and another two guarding them from the inside. One guard sat to Cozy’s right, while another sat to my left. The rest spread out around the theater. I’d let Cozy pick the movie, and she’d opted for a cutesy movie about a cat and dog lost in the wilderness and trying to find their way back home.

Normally, such a movie would attract families bringing their foals, but my parents had opted to buy every seat in the theater. So we had the place to ourselves, and a giant bucket of popcorn to share. If only Cozy were a hunky colt I could pretend this was a date. As if my parents would ever allow me to date anypony. Maybe when I’m thirty.

After the movie was over, I led the way to a toy shop, but paused as we passed the newsstand. The lead headline of the Crystal Empire Chronicle was Cozy Glow Paroled: Flurry Heart To Reform Former Villain. The cat was out of the bag – I suppose we couldn’t keep it a secret forever, especially once she was inevitably seen in public with me.

We continued on to the toy store. I had an allowance, and a fairly generous one at that. I was going to be spending a lot of time with Cozy Glow, so I decided to blow my entire week’s budget on things we could occupy our time playing. A chess set was my number one priority, but I let her pick a few other games out. We ended up with a deck of playing cards, a deck of Uno cards, half a dozen board games, and I snagged a Rubik’s Cube too, thinking puzzle games might be to her liking.

I levitated the purchases in my field as we cantered back to the castle. Normally I had trouble going anywhere without encountering at least one paparazzo. Today though, the paparazzi were out in force. Everypony wanted a shot of the youngest princess with the recently freed Cozy Glow. The scandal sheets were going to have a field day with this. Cozy Glow took it in stride, hamming it up for the cameras. I made a mental note that she loved to be the center of attention. It made sense, considering everything else I knew about the filly.

“Want me to get rid of them?” she volunteered.

“That would be great.”

“You got it!” Cozy fluttered a few feet above the ground, twirling around for the photographers, who were more than happy to take pictures of the recently released convict. Then, mid-spin, just as a number of flashbulbs went off she lifted her tail, exposing her nether regions to the paparazzi. “Oh golly. Did all of you just take naughty pictures of a filly in front of all these Royal Guards?”

Several of the photographers tried running or flying away, but we had an entire battalion with us. Two dozen highly trained soldiers versus a dozen paparazzi. They rounded up each of them fairly easily, and they joined our procession back to the castle.

Cozy Glow didn’t even attempt to escape in the turmoil. She landed gently beside me as we watched the madness. “Lesson number one: When somepony’s exploiting you, they don’t expect the tables to be turned on them.”

“Huh?”

“Your first lesson. Con artists are easy to con. You just need to the right bait to make them think they’re scamming you.”

“They’re not really con artists. They’re just doing their job. Also, I’m the one who’s supposed to be giving you lessons.”

She chuckled at that. “You’d have to have something worth teaching me, first. Instead, being nice and good just lets them exploit you, your family, and any other celebrities in their near vicinity. But manipulation? I get results, as you can see for yourself.”

“As much as I hate dealing with the paparazzi, I despise you even more. I’d rather put up with all of them than just the one of you. And I don’t want you filling the princess’ head with your nonsense. You’re nothing but trouble, Cozy Glow.” Moonracer glared at the filly.

“I’m not always evil you know. Sometimes I do the wrong things for the right reasons, like right now. Other times I do the right things for the wrong reasons. But mostly I do the wrong things for the wrong reasons.”

“What about doing the right things for the right reasons?”

“Maybe once or twice, completely by accident. I try not to think about those failures though.”

“You really are awful.”

Cozy Glow shrugged. “I didn’t ask to be released. I mean, I would’ve, if I could’ve, but it’s hard to talk when you’re stone. You could’ve left me a statue. But you’re better than that. You’re better than me. For now.”

“You’re going to try to knock me down instead of you climbing up, aren’t you?”

“Very good! You get an ‘A’ for today, my most faithful student! Today I help you. Tomorrow I hinder you. Maybe Tuesday I’ll let you teach me something. Thursday I sit around all day eating pancakes.”

“Wait… what?”

“Seriously, I haven’t had pancakes in eleven years. There are lots of things you take for granted that have been denied to me for over a decade. And I plan on making up for lost time. Blueberries, raspberries, strawberries, whipped cream, butter, maple syrup…”

I left her droning on about pancakes and turned to Moonracer and motioned to the paparazzi. “What are you going to do with them?” I was genuinely concerned about their welfare. They hadn’t intended to do anything illegal. Maybe unethical, but not necessarily illegal.

“I’m sure some kind of arrangement can be made where all the film gets destroyed without being developed, and everypony just trots away without this getting nasty. Right?” She looked at one of the photographers. He nodded, as did the others in earshot. “And maybe you’ll all think twice about harassing the royal family from here on out.”

We returned to the castle, and Cozy followed the bulk of the guards to the barracks. “I want to personally verify every last negative gets destroyed. Wanna come with?”

“No thanks. I’ll put these games away, and you can find me when you’re done.”

“Okie dokie!”

We went our separate ways for the time being, with Cozy supervising the Royal Guards, much to their chagrin. I’m sure it was a mind game on her part, but she raised a valid point, making it impossible to say for sure one way or the other. Ambiguity was par for her course. I was slowly getting a handle on the way she worked. I could see why a logical mare like Auntie Twilight would despise dealing with her. She has Auntie Twilight’s intelligence, Rarity’s creativity, and Pinkie’s playfulness. She’s easily bored and needs outlets for her creativity.

Dad interrupted my thoughts as I was putting the games away in my room. “How goes foalsitting Equestria’s vilest filly?”

I caught him up to date on what had happened, and the insights I’d gained about her character. “She’s not completely beyond help.”

Dad nodded. “If she was, your auntie wouldn’t have entrusted you with her rehabilitation. She just wasn’t the right mare for the job.”

“Is her room ready?” I looked at my overloaded closet and motioned to the games I’d picked up. “I don’t seem to have room for these.” Maybe I was just a little spoiled.

Dad nodded. “Follow me.” I didn’t have to go far – she had the room right across the hall from mine. My room had a prime position, along the exterior wall. Hers was an interior room formerly used as a storage closet. “Go on, sit on her bed.”

I did, and it was lumpy, uncomfortable, and smelled musty, as if it had been stored someplace damp for an extended period of time. “This is horrible.”

“I had a few privates go through the Guard’s inventory of beds to find the worst of the worst.”

“Daddy.”

“It’s still more comfortable than a dungeon cell. She’s a criminal, sweetie. We’re not giving her the guest suite. Maybe she’ll earn better accommodations through good behavior. But right now? She’s starting in the basement.” He motioned to the contents of the room that was spartan even by military standards. “This is more than she deserves.”

“Be that as it may, if we keep treating her like a criminal, she’s going to stay a criminal. If we show her that we have faith that she can reform, maybe she’ll actually do so. I’m keeping the games in here. Maybe I’ll get her some books too. She has an incredible mind, Dad. She’s probably a genius. We need to stimulate her brain in ways that don’t lead to world conquest.”

“And yet you bought her chess and Risk. Great plan.” He scanned the games I’d purchased. “If you really want to see where that filly shines, and just why she’s so dangerous, add the game Diplomacy to your next shopping list. You’ll need a few more players, but I’ll authorize some of her guards to play multiplayer games with you.”

“Why?”

“Because while you’re trying to reform her, I’m trying to get inside her head so I can defend against her if she ever goes megalomaniacal ever again.”

“Do you want to join us for some games?”

Dad shook his head. “Absolutely not. I’m not in the habit of showing my potential enemies how I strategize.” With that, Dad left the room.

I sat alone in her room for a while, planning various decorations to liven it up. That’s where Cozy found me. “Oh golly, I would’ve thought the princess’ room would be more luxurious than this.”

“My room’s across the hall. This is going to be your room from here on out. Forgive us for throwing you in the dungeon last night, but my parents weren’t expecting Auntie Twilight to do this, and hence we had nothing prepared for you.”

“That’s okay. I liked the dungeon well enough. It beats Tartarus and being encased in stone.” She laid down on the bed. “Gosh, I get a real bed all for myself? I haven’t had a bed since I got kicked out of the School of Friendship.”

“We just need to get you a bedspread and pillows. I figured you’d want to pick all that out for yourself. Maybe get a few posters for the walls. What singers and bands do you like?”

“I don’t really have any favorites. Music’s just noise.”

“How about we get some posters of hunky stallions to liven the place up. Who do you like?”

She shrugged. “Romance is an unneeded distraction.”

I blinked. “What did you have decorating your room at school?”

She laughed and waved a hoof, dismissively. “The most stereotypical cutesy posters designed to make me seem as innocent as possible. You know, kittens, puppies, flowers.”

“Would you like any of those?”

“Is anypony going to believe I’m innocent?”

“No.”

“There’s your answer.”

“So we should just get you maps of Equestria and the world so you can plot your future domination?”

“Oh golly, that would be swell! Oh, and if you could get me a skull too, preferably one with severe head trauma, that would be super!”

I was about to laugh at that until I remembered that such an item had been discovered among her belongings at the School of Friendship. Nopony had ever figured out where she’d obtained it, though tests had successfully proven the victim was dead long before Cozy Glow had been born. This was as good a time as any to get some information out of her. “Why would you want such a thing?”

“It intimidates ponies, throwing them off their game and putting me in a better negotiating position. Besides, skulls are totes cool.”

“If you say so. Where’d you get the one you had years ago, anyway?”

She giggled. “I dug it up somewhere.”

Forcing the issue didn’t work with Cozy Glow, so I dropped it. Instead I picked up one of the games. I didn’t feel confident in challenging her to one of the strategy games just yet, and Dad had yet to teach me chess, so I opted for something simple. “Wanna play Twister?” I’d picked the pegasus edition, since we both had wings.

“I guess. Out of these games, it’s the only one you have a good chance of winning.”

“Not very limber?”

She fluttered her wings. “Your wings were larger than mine when you were born. My wings are still the same size as they were eleven years ago, and yours have grown even larger. Unfair advantage, much?”

I hadn’t thought of that. “We could skip the wing spins.”

“Nah. I’ll give you this one. Twister’s way more fun when you use your wings.”

For simplicity’s sake, we asked one of our guards to spin for us. She did so, and we each reached our left front hooves to yellow. As Cozy had predicted, my wingspan did prove exceedingly helpful. But sometimes they got in the way, and Cozy was surprisingly flexible. We were tied 7-7 and had agreed that this would be the final round. Right wing blue was called and Cozy was in a far better position than I was. Still, if I bent over backward and stretched, I could make it work. As I stretched past her she kissed me. Startled, I collapsed to the ground in a heap.

“I win.” She fluttered over my prone form and dropped the spinner in the box. “Better luck next time.”

“What was that for? You probably would’ve won anyway!”

“Where’s the fun in that? Seeing the look on your face? Priceless!” She offered a hoof to help me up. Part of me wanted to yank her down to the floor. But my brain replayed the snippet of conversation we’d had earlier, about her knocking me down to her level. I wasn’t falling for it. Instead I took the hoof and raised myself to my hooves. “Good game. You got me fair and square.” I rubbed my mouth with the back of my hoof. “Ugh.”

“I thought you liked kissing ponies.”

“Handsome colts.”

“Suit yourself! Pity I squandered my first kiss with someone who just wiped it away.”

“That was your first kiss?” It suddenly dawned on me that it was also the first time I’d ever locked lips with somepony other than a family member. “I guess it was mine too.”

“I’m not a handsome colt though, so it doesn’t count.”

“It can count if you want it to? I’m sorry I wiped it away. You just surprised me is all.”

“That was the idea. Worked like a charm, too.” She giggled. She had the most adorable giggle. But that was her modus operandi. Everything about her was intentionally done to maximize cuteness. I just had to remind myself not to fall for it.

---

We’d played Twister right up until dinnertime. There’d be no shopping for a bedspread tonight, so I requested one of the maids do up her room while we ate.

Mom and Dad had always been big on spending time together as a family, made ever more challenging by their respective positions. Sunday dinner was always a family dinner, end of discussion. This time it was family plus one. I hadn’t been entirely sure if my parents would let Cozy Glow join us, but they raised no objections and the wily filly sat next to me. Cozy stared at her plate and mumbled something.

“What was that?” Mom was looking right at her.

“Thank you.” She still couldn’t look up at them. “I know you hate me. Just so you know, I don’t blame you for that at all. Nothing I say or do will ever convince you I’ve reformed, but that’s okay since I’m not planning on reforming anyway. I know you’re giving me the worst accommodations you can, but even your worst is orders of magnitude better than what I’m used to. Your dungeon was more steps up than you can imagine. So thank you.”

“It’s better than what you deserve.” Dad was still unpleased with the intruder to his home.

“In your eyes. Of course, it’s the winner that writes the history books. You’re happy with the old regime. Strike that, you are the old regime.”

Only Cozy Glow could somehow manage to turn a simple thank you into blaming them for her failed rebellion.

I did the only thing I could think of to diffuse the situation. “Mm, these potatoes are great.” They really weren’t in all honesty, but it was a new topic of discussion.

“They are,” Mom agreed. “And you’re welcome, Cozy. I’m pretty sure I heard a ‘thank you’ in there somewhere.”

The Princess of Love to the rescue. Mom couldn’t find it in her heart to hate anypony, not even Cozy Glow. Though she probably doesn’t love the mischievous filly as much as she loves everypony else, and I know she doesn’t want her in the castle, and especially not anywhere near me.

“Flurry’s tutor will be by tomorrow morning. You’ll be sitting in on her lessons from here on out to continue your own education. If you refuse to learn, that’s your own decision, but you won’t disrupt my daughter’s lessons. Do I make myself clear?”

“Crystal. Get it, because this is the Crystal Empire?” She giggled, but nopony else did. “Tough crowd.”

---

You know what they say about the best laid plans of mice and mares. Mom hadn’t anticipated Gilded Cage taking one look at Cozy Glow and refusing to teach her. As a result, he was summarily dismissed from royal service. So Monday ended up being a reprieve from classes.

I had Daddy teach me the basics of chess, and then I spent the rest of the day having my rump hoofed to me by Cozy Glow. She checkmated me in ten moves or less… Every. Single. Game. I threw my hooves up in frustration, and Moonracer offered to sit in a game for me.

“A wager?”

Moonracer laughed. “What could you possibly have to offer?”

“You win, Flurry Heart leaves the room and you get to smack this smug smirk right off my face.” She flashed her trademark grin.

“And if I lose?”

“I just want a pillow. You know, a nice comfortable pillow for my bed, instead of this lumpy thing.”

“Royal Guards don’t gamble.”

“What’s the matter? Afraid you’re going to lose to a little filly like me?” She fluttered her eyelashes and once more flashed that smug grin.

“I don’t accept your terms. I refuse to strike a pony unless they’re putting somepony else in danger. Even when it’s as tempting as this is.”

“Suit yourself, but if I beat you I’m still expecting that pillow.”

Moonracer rolled her eyes and settled in for a game of chess. She did way better than I did. She lasted twenty moves. Cozy dispatched the rest of our guards, one by one, winning a comforter, sheets, two pairs of slippers, and a robe in short order.

Despite none of the guards actually accepting the bet, they each delivered the filly’s winnings before nightfall.

“Voila! Bedspread.”

“You know; I was going to take you shopping.”

“My way is more fun. And it reminds your guards just who they’re dealing with.”

“Yes, remind them that you’re far too clever to be left unguarded for even a second.”

“As if I need to be unguarded to be dangerous!”

“You’re incorrigible.”

---

The rest of the week passed in a similar manner. We played games and got to know one another better. Mostly we played chess, and she started teaching me how to be a better player so I could be a ‘challenge’ instead of ‘the tutorial mode’. Even with her tips, she continued trouncing me.

Saturday night I returned to my room after dinner to find my bags had been packed. Mom sat on the corner of my bed, and I could hear her sniffling.

“What’s wrong, Mom?”

“We couldn’t find a tutor for you. Sunburst has too many obligations at the School of Friendship to become a full time tutor here in the Crystal Empire, but he can teach you in Ponyville.”

“I get to go to the School of Friendship?” I could hardly contain my joy. I’d miss my parents, but it would be nice to get out and make some friends like Auntie Twilight had.

Mom nodded. “You and Cozy Glow both. She’s your obligation, don’t forget.”

Comments

[AllenVth]

How come I didn't hear of this story sooner. Everything of this story is just perfect. Cozy's character and Flurry's plus everyone around her. They took no half-measures with the little filly and for good reason, and I'm already seeing cozy worming her way into Flurry's mind.