“What do you think, Twilight?” Sunset asked, her hand poised with pen ready to add more words to the page. A mindless sleepy murmur was the only response.
A yawn escaped Sunset in sympathy as the fatigue she had successfully ignored reared its head. As she watched the sleeping form of Twilight, she could not help but think sleeping humans still looked a little ridiculous. Their forms were meant to be upright and in motion.
Being careful not to wake her, she placed a blanket over the exhausted girl. Page by page, she gathered the loose notes and arranged them. We might have gotten a little carried away. The small mountain of papers spoke to the truth of her thought.
They had spent hours experimenting with magic. Twilight had even started to try and adapt a simple unicorn spell for use with her own abilities. A smile graced her face at even the memory. She let out a content sigh. I haven't had fun like that for a long time. A slight blush heated her cheeks as her hand found her small human ear. She shook her head. Dont be a silly mare.
Not wanting to wake Twilight with the light of magic, she did everything by hand. The remaining pizza went into the fridge, and everything else was put into order. Another yawn promised she would not be awake much longer herself.
A quick trip to the bathroom to make her nightly preparations and ditch her clothes to resume the perfection of her pony form was needed. She looked at the excessively large pile of clothes that could entangle her should she need her horn in a hurry. Velcro and elastic would have to become part of her wardrobe. Maybe Rarity could come up with something that works.
This time, she kept her focus. This time, there was no sudden flash of flame. Her body smoothly shifted from human to equine over half a minute. She would need to see if she could learn more about the implications of the two methods. She put that aside for now. It was far too late. She trotted out, stretched like a cat and made herself comfortable in a small nest of cushions.
The world started to fade away as the warm comfort of sleep crept in around her. A pulse of magic brushed against her horn. The sudden sensation snapped her eyes open and banished her fatigue. Her eyes followed her horn straight to a particular book.
Twilight? She thought as her aura enveloped the tome and brought it close. Fortunately, the faint light and quiet chime of the magic did not disturb the sleeping human. What do you want at this time of night?
Sunset, I write this as I am on an airship flying away from almost everything I love. My daughter, most of my friends, Ponyville and my ponies.
There has Sunset. Today I had to do something I deeply regret.
Is everything alright, Twilight.
No, but I'm trying to fix it. As an alicorn, I have a lot of power, but it is not unlimited. Today, I had to leave a pony I could heal uncured.
What could she say to that? Sunset thought for a moment. With how good Equestrian healthcare was, it could not be something simple. Anything that could just be left to the doctors or healers would not weigh on her friend's mind so.
I'm sure you had a good reason.
Yes, and Night assures me I did the right thing.
I can tell that does not sit well with you.
Logically, I did the right thing. It would be a dereliction of my duty and our treaties with the griffons if I willfully crippled my magic so much before the battle.
If only he was not a unicorn, perhaps I could have saved him.
What's wrong with him.
SWF
The ballpoint pen froze in the air above the page. Every time that pony cast magic, they were hastening their end. The more they depleted their wellspring, the more of their life was spent with each spell. If they were exhausting themselves, they might only have days or weeks left. It was a painful way to go.
You can cure Systemic Wellspring Failure?
Yes, but I can not justify the cost, not just for one pony. And to make it worse, he is constantly exhausting himself by helping the refugees.
A chill settled into Sunset’s heart. To have the ability to save a pony and have to refuse to. Not being able to help would be horrible enough, but to have the power and for other things to compel you not to. The photo of both Twilights in front of the statue drew her eyes. “Twilight.” She whispered.
Sunset looked to her friend sleeping peacefully, this world's Twilight. Nothing they had defeated together in this world had been anywhere near as bad as what Equestria faced now. Her eyes settled on Princess Twilight’s words.
She was Sunset Shimmer, the most powerful pyromancer for over five hundred years. She might be just a little rusty, she had to admit. Not that that would matter, at least if there was no need to care about incidental damages.
The warmth of her magic grew. Its fire in her chest matched the building determination. Her aura raised the pen as if a mighty blade.
I'm heading over to help.
No, you can't.
“What?” Sunset let out an annoyed snort. Who was she to… no, she just cares. She took a calming breath before she wrote her answer.
Twilight, I'm still an Equestrian, and it sounds like you could use my help.
No, I mean, you literally can't. I have the book with me right now. The portal is sealed until I replace it.
Oh.
Just like that, even if she wanted to help, she could not. Horrible things were happening back home, and she could do nothing to help. All her power and she could do nothing, just like Twilight could not save that pony. The heat of her determination cooled, and a cold hollow replaced it.
Why did you take the book with you?
How else was I going to keep providing you with your magic lessons?
My magic lessons are not worth another’s life.
My dear student, we would disagree, but in this case thy presence would not alter their fate. The healing Twilight wishes to impart would require her to sacrifice a piece of her soul. A price no mortal could survive paying.
Thou art far too treasured to allow you to make such a sacrifice.
Night?
Yes, now let's be about your lessons. Thou have no part to play in this incident, but we doubt that will be true for others. We will have thee ready to face what tiz to come.
The next few pages slowly filled with arcane runes and glyphs. Pages upon pages of magic Sunset had never seen before. Most clearly touched on restricted and even forbidden spellcraft. After every few spells, the hornwriting would change, and a list of questions and exercises would appear.
Dozens of spells she would have done almost anything to get her hooves on before she left Equestria were simply being given to her. Avarice made her want to drool and maybe prance in joy.
The page felt smooth under her hoof. It did not take the genius she was to spot the lethality of the last spell. No ‘safe’ spell would have so many non-optional components to ensure it only affected the desired target. A small knot twisted in her gut. A tiny part of her considered destroying the forbidden lore.
She could not stop her eyes as they absorbed the two new spell runes, two simple bits of magic that had been kept from her that allowed such terrible things to be done. What was written in beautiful script would reach out and crush the spark of life. The spell was as elegant and harsh as Night’s hornwriting. What would Princess Celestia do if she found me with this?
“Sunset?”
Sunset flinched. For a moment, she could have sworn the book at spoken. Then she paid attention to her surroundings. “Morning, Twilight,” she said to her human friend. Her hoof proceeded to her chest to try and calm her suddenly racing heart.
“Have you been up all night?”
“Just getting my magic lessons.”
Twilight looked over the tome of magic Sunset had been compiling. “You should get some rest. Studies indicate a well-rested mind is more efficient at learning.”
Absent-mindedly, Twilight reached out and petted Sunset’s head. For a moment, Sunset considered pulling back. As the soothing sensation spread, it became far less of an issue how undignified this must look.
It only increased as the long fingers found delicate ears. I'm not a plushy. Was Sunset's last thought before Twilight's efforts soundly routed any resistance to slumber.
What the hell is Twi/Night doing with Sunset?! I can only assume we're going to give her some really nasty stuff to come in later --unexpected-- and do something even more --unexpected--. There's got to be a plan. And a target. I just don't know who it is or when her abilities will be needed. I also don't know if Sunset will be willing to cast it. Hoo, boy.
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Sunset was selected by celestia to become an alicorn before she was sidelined by in favor of twilight. Night is taking advantage of the fact that Celestia cannot get to Sunset so when the time is right (one way or another) Sunset will be another variable that Celestia didn't account fore. It seems a tad bit rediculious by this point but given her history, there is no such thing as overkill when dealing with Celestia. Tecknicaly the coup is already in prgress but it is still up in the air wether elements coincide or oppose, and there is no way to coordinate all of it.
Oo more Sunset stuff cool.
Edit: I realized the unicorn in question was mister not so Noble Guide which kinda throws away the whole thing. Instead this chapter is all about that Dramatic irony, so no morel quandaries this week.
Ah the “needs of the many out weigh the needs of the few” morel debacle. It definitely feels wrong for someone as smart as twilight to just leave him since she’s normally in the “I got to save everyone” camp which Is great. But when the premise of the story is “ I’m possessed by my first super villain and my mentor is secretly pretty messed up.” Morel dilemmas tend to happen.In a more positive light if we are looking at this from the Unicorn’s perspective he’s more like an anime protagonist that’s quite literally self-sacrificing by using a move that shaves off his own life span, which would of course be the heroic thing to do.great chapter
You may not be a plushy Sunset... But I bet Twilight is going to still cuddle the hell out of you.
But I am also curious about the magic. What is Night/Twilight training her for? Possible ascension? Or another asset on her side of the board against Celestia?
Time will tell I am sure.
Twi/Night you are going to be glad you didn't help him.
Who's a pretty pony? You're a pretty pony!
Who is? You is! Sunset
scrunching little noses and Burning down houses
Who is? You is! Sunset
All day long you cast spell, looking at the trees burning down.
Dreaming all your pony dreams, ruling over Equestria.
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no worries, i am looking for a new place to live in as well -.-
Moving always sucks.
I deleted my comment from earlier because immediately after I posted it the chapters started to work on exactly the issues I pointed out.
I think the biggest thing that's harder to initially swallow is just how different the alicorns are from ponies, and by extension how we process things. Because Chosen are property, due to how they're made, Candice being a gift feels less... awful, as the story goes on.
I see my biggest gripe with the story is that you did the dynamic work the wrong way around. My best example is Candice, she is introduced near the end of the relationship timeline, as intensely desirable and someone worthy of royal favour to have be near. She is then moved to an object of sexual gratification, as I have said before, fine for a clopfic, morally fucky for a more serious story. After that? Badass with multiple tribe's abilities who devastates the primary antagonist's forces solo, and then becomes the, as mentioned in the story, perfect support to Twilight. This progression is... all kinds of weird and just feels very wrong, and quite frankly, powerful with no effort to earn it.
Immediately after this though, Twilight has her first argument with Candice, and she moves from unbearable, to enjoyable. This is because she suddenly has flaws, she has nuance. Hybrids become a major part of the story, less as beings of immense power, but rather as secondary tribes with just a different distribution of power. She messes up, almost dying due to her calculations being wrong, and her assumption Twilight & The Band can't hurt her.
Candice starts as, as I called her, a Superpowered Sex Toy, denied development and agency and given as a gift between engaged royalty. That feels dreadful, and how it's presented, let alone her internal thought process seeming perfect, just doesn't work in my opinion. Yet, in the later chapters, she becomes this nuanced character, with her intelligence shown as putting things together quickly rather than perfect thought, her rapid reactions actually basically killing her, and her repeated disagreements with twi/nova/night/dreams. My only issue that remains is that her relationship with Twilight feels identical to that of emerald and night, she is a pet, not a romantic partner, but the presentation seems to be one of a romance, that to be honest, is simply not there.
Anyway, dynamic work! The dynamics between characters have become really lovingly arched and organised and clear, with nuance and interest! I love the difference as each pony comes to terms with TwiNight, and the doubt Luna had was a great chapter. My only concern on this front is most certainly LunaxTwi, which pre-fair, seemed artifical and rushed. The fair was great, but I still need convincing there's actually a deeper romance there, which I'm sure will pop up.
Overrall? Your work seriously improved as the story progressed, with dynamic work moving from the backseat to horniness and power shows, to front and center. This really moved your work into a better league, going from hard to continue, to really grabbing my interest. Give me some more romance and honestly, you're onto something amazing.
Keep up the great work, and remember, your best stuff is far and away the minutae between each character, not the weirdness that is candice's situation, nor the horniess of those middle chapters. The interactions are brilliant these last few chapters, and the character progression is fantastic!
Thanks for writing this!
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since chapter 11 I knew you had an Idea where this Story is going and that you have a plan !
I never question you on any Story stuff , maybe just on execution , like chapter 32.2 , that still feels weird everytime I read it .
now there are some people that feel weird about candice.... me myself felt REALLY weird about her after chapter 50.2
In it Candice comes back from the near dead and effectiveley gets a power boost with seemingly no real repercussions or conequences!
now there are people that have called Candice a mary sue .... but I think most people don´t know what a mary sue actually IS!
I would guess most people would say , if asked , that a mary sue is a character that has no flaws, is perfect at everything and is better than everybody else.
But they are WRONG !
( i had an entire explanation of the origin of the term mary sue written out and then decided to delete it again because it was just getting to long , lol )
A mary sue is a character that WARPS the Story around her to go her way !
Thats like super simplified but basically thats what a mary sue is !
And THAT fits Candice pretty well !!
Remember what I said earlier ?
In it Candice comes back from the near dead and effectiveley gets a power boost with seemingly no real repercussions or conequences!
if you read that, that basically screams mary sue right ? thats like ...THE MOST Mary sue thing ever , right ?
Now you think now : Wait , but if Candice IS a Mary Sue , isnt that a BAD thing ?!
heres the thing ...remember this line : She hated to think how many adventures, oracles and prophets died because their ‘luck’ ran out.
And I say : Its the best thing ever and I love it , and If you did this on purpose Nightsclaw , marry me !
you wrote a Mary Sue ish Character intentionally and made her fit into your story , world AND lore !
You are gonna play the reverse uno card on EVERYBODY and by the end of this Story Candice is probably going to be peoples favourite character !
and maybe im just going crazy and the hour I invested in writing this comment was wasted soooo hey there is that ...have a nice day !
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As the editor and story consultant for this, I can say that, yes, it is on purpose. More will be revealed about the character as time goes by.
It's already established that Candice was literally made by Harmony for Twilight and Luna. She is what Harmony made her to be. And I would say that she suffered some very serious consequences considering the immense pain and you know, almost instantly dead part. These are not things that can be just tossed aside as they are incredibly traumatic in ways that those who haven't almost died likely wouldn't quite understand. The effects of these things will be shown as time goes by.
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It's still a moral quandary, but hypothetical for the readers.
...Sunset Plushy
Very cute
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If I had more money this is one of the sceans I want to get commissioned as its so cute.