• Member Since 27th Aug, 2019
  • offline last seen June 5th

Toriandthehorse


T

We all know Scootaloo’s tough, that she’s cheerful, and positive, and a generally good, friendly mare.

But even Scootaloo’s capable of falling apart, with the right words; the wrong words. And she heard those words. You’ll never fly.

Now, Rainbow Dash just has to figure out if she’s capable of being put together again.


Suicide/Self-Harm tag added for implications of the act. I don't find it absolutely necessary, but I'd rather be safe than sorry.

Now rewritten, and desperately needed, too, I fear... :pinkiecrazy:

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 20 )

“Scoots? Scootaloo? You here?” A blue pegasus mare zipped through the town of Ponyville, flying fast and low. Where is she? Her rainbow tail streamed behind her, a sharp contrast to the pale pink evening. She flew higher, pausing a moment to search the streets. Her gaze froze on the very edge of Ponyville, where there was a small cliff. And, if you looked very closely, an orange figure with a shock of pink sitting in the grass. Oh no. The mare took off in the direction of the cliff, reaching it within minutes. As she neared the clearing, her pace dropped considerably. “Scootaloo?” The younger mare startled“Scoots? Scootaloo? You here?” A blue pegasus mare zipped through the town of Ponyville, flying fast and low. Where is she? Her rainbow tail streamed behind her, a sharp contrast to the pale pink evening. She flew higher, pausing a moment to search the streets. Her gaze froze on the very edge of Ponyville, where there was a small cliff. And, if you looked very closely, an orange figure with a shock of pink sitting in the grass. Oh no. The mare took off in the direction of the cliff, reaching it within minutes. As she neared the clearing, her pace dropped considerably. “Scootaloo?” The younger mare startled.

Think you made a typo

9824095
Oh I can't believe I didn't notice that! :facehoof: Thank you!

Nice! Even if they Never make scoots Fly in the Show, we can.

9824131
Yet, you didn't correct it?

9826733
How do you mean?
Is there another error I missed? :facehoof:

9826736
Well, I'm not sure what error Seral refers to, except for the fact that the first paragraph repeats itself. (And no, it's not corrected. I have double checked.)

9827350
Oh okay. I should've noticed that a lot sooner :facehoof:
I thought you guys meant the space I missed, but I'll go fix that right now. Thanks!

Scoots? Scootaloo? You here?” A blue pegasus mare zipped through the town of Ponyville, flying fast and low. Where is she? Her rainbow tail streamed behind her, a sharp contrast to the pale pink evening. She flew higher, pausing a moment to search the streets. Her gaze froze on the very edge of Ponyville, where there was a small cliff. And, if you looked very closely, an orange figure with a shock of pink sitting in the grass. Oh no. The mare took off in the direction of the cliff, reaching it within minutes. As she neared the clearing, her pace dropped considerably. “Scootaloo?” The younger mare startled “Scootaloo?” A blue pegasus mare zipped through the town of Ponyville, flying fast and low. Where is she? Her rainbow tail streamed behind her, a sharp contrast to the pale pink evening. She flew higher, pausing a moment to search the streets. Her gaze froze on the very edge of Ponyville, where there was a small cliff. And, if you looked very closely, an orange figure with a shock of pink sitting in the grass. Oh no. The mare took off in the direction of the cliff, reaching it within minutes. As she neared the clearing, her pace dropped considerably. “Scootaloo?” The younger mare startled

There should only be one sentence that says Ponyville

9828118
Thanks! I'll go fix it now. :twilightsmile:

9828150
You’re welcome

This is good stuff. A little darker than I tend to look for, but told very well. And an ending that didn't feel like a cop-out. Excellent.

9831744
Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it! And about the dark part, yeah, I get that. This wouldn't be a story I would directly look for either. :twilightsheepish:

9831787
I just tend towards sappy, fun, and wholesome stuff. Sad gets a pass since I'm in the fandom for the FEELS. :ajsmug:

When i first clicked here, i was scared
In the middle of it i was shocked

9865031
Is.. that a good thing? :unsuresweetie:

9865198
Was not sure how to word it, but lets think that you got a reaction from a reader wich affected its emotions
And it was good, because you impacted with the story, wich means it worked!

9868325
Oh okay. I'm so glad to hear that! Thank you :twilightsmile:

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