• Member Since 17th Jul, 2018
  • offline last seen 17 hours ago

James Pwyll


Everything is awesome!

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Source

Having spitefully ended her tutelage under Princess Celestia, Sunset Shimmer has fled through a magical mirror to another world. Deprived of her magic, stuck in unfamiliar surroundings and with no clear plan, things look bleak for Sunset and her self-imposed exile. But it seems as though she will not spend her first day in this strange place alone.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 9 )

This is an interesting story idea. I've always been a sucker for stories of how Flash and Sunset first met, and this one has an interesting hook of him being the very first human she meets after coming through the portal. I like the way that their personalities both come through so clearly - Flash meets a girl who's in trouble, and immediately opens his home to her to help her... and Sunset sees a meal ticket. Feels right, I can see something like this happening all too well.

Solid work, all in all!

Sunset strides confidently out of the statue in the last panel of that comic... but I could easily see her fall facefirst on the pavement in front of the statue just in time for it to start raining. Poor thing. You know, relatively speaking.

Nice work with the balance of sheer horror and cold calculation Sunset needed to get through these early days in the human world. Who knows what would've happened to her without Flash?

Man, this could actually be canon: it explains how the two could've ended up dating: Flash saw a girl in need, and Sunset saw someone who could be guide to her new home.

Extremely well written and in character, I could totally see this being a flashback in an Equestria Girls movie/special. :twilightsmile:

This a a very well written of a possible orgin story of Sunset's first arrival in the human world!

Well done! :twilightsmile:

This was excellent. Seeing Flash's kindness affecting her but not going far enough to change her from what she wants to do. Feels like a genuine way for them to have met. A wonderful flow to it.

Just some typos:

anywhere where I oculd...

could

and

She didn't want to take the risk of causing as scene,

as should be a

Thank you for sharing it. Very much enjoyed it.

Flash is such a gentleman. It's just him and a pretty girl wearing only a bathrobe at home and his parents won't be around for hours.

He doesn't even bat an eye.

An excellent take on tying together all the relevant threads, and it stands up very well indeed! Really, I have only a couple of quibbles—and quibbles they are, so take or leave them as you wish. I present them only as food for thought and potential discussion.

One is Sunset’s immediate adjustment to a world where technology is 130–140 years ahead, with electricity, architecture, furnishings, pretty much everything alien-looking to eyes accustomed to Industrial-Revolution engineering. (For one thing, modern middle-class suburban residences in North America similar to those shown, along with most other post-WWII buildings, are gigantic by the standards of similar edifices in pretty much every earlier era.) The first featurette went lightly on it, as the franchise does with every intense moment, but even Twilight had her moments of culture shock and technological disorientation. On the other hand, this is a short-short story, with little room for expanding on a factor that’s beside its immediate point.

The other is age; it’s subtle and therefore debatable, but it seems to me the two of them behave more like the seventeen-year-olds they are in the featurettes and shorts rather than the fourteen-year-olds they would be twenty-nine months before their junior-year Fall Formal. Still, their basic personalities are pitch-perfect and come through beautifully.

9931051 Thanks for pointing it out to me :twilightsmile:

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