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Thomas and the Wonky Whistle

It was Bank Holiday weekend on the Island of Sodor, and the weather was unseasonably sunny. Instead of bucketing it down like it normally does, the sun shone clear, glorious, and bright above the Island. People were happy, the engines were happy, not a single person was sad. It was also the day of the country show, this year being held at Sweet Apple Acres, where the farmers would demonstrate and showcase their trades and livestock, and there was a fairground for the children, complete with newly repaired fairground organ that played popular tunes.

The engines were kept busy hauling stock about the island in preparation, as it was set to be very busy day, and a hot one too. But one engine was glum. Thomas sat in the workshop at Crovan's Gate, looking at the ceiling. He was having problems with his whistle, and as such had been put aside so it could be mended. Twilight was on top of his boiler (it having cooled), and she was busy fitting a replacement that could be used in the meantime.

"How long is this going to take?" Thomas asked her. "I really hate being out of action."

"Patience, Thomas!" she replied. "This is not an easy issue to fix- ah! There we are, the new whistle is fitted. Apparently, this whistle is all the way from America."

Then, Sir Toppham Hatt arrived. "Good morning Thomas!" he said. "It's nice to see you're doing well. Twilight, is the new whistle fitted?"

"Yes sir," she replied, sliding off his boiler cladding and landing on the ground. "OW! We just need to check it for calibration and steam pressure."

"Very thorough," Sir Toppham Hatt smiled. "Now then, when that's all done, I need you to proceed to Farmer McColl's. He has a few sheep still to be taken to the country show. Puff proudly, chuff carefully, and whistle well."

"Sir, are you feeling alright?" Thomas asked. "You don't normally alliterate this much."

"I feel quite alright, thank you," said Sir Toppham Hatt. "You must let people know about the country show."

"Assuming everybody on the island doesn't already know," Twilight said. "It's received as much publicity as the Amity Ball!"

"The what?"

"An upcoming event at Knapford Secondary School."

"Ah." Sir Toppham Hatt gave Twilight a letter. "The managers of the country show have asked our crews and engines to recite this rhyme to publicise the country show."

Twilight sighed. "Yes sir," she replied.


A few hours later, Thomas was up to full operating pressure, and Twilight sounded the whistle to warn the depot staff he was about to move off. But it wasn't the usual single tone. An incredibly loud chime whistle blasted out a long, thunderous tone that made everybody jump. Thomas puffed away and towards the main line.

A workman got to his feet. "That was loud!" he exclaimed.

"You can say that again," said another.

"That was lo-"

"NOT LITERALLY!"

Thomas sped down the line, and came to a stop at the farm. A line of cattle vans was waiting, loaded with sheep. Twilight blasted the whistle, and Thomas puffed away, scaring away a group of goats in a field, causing them to run in the opposite direction to the sheep pen.

Farmer McColl laughed. "That's one way of separating the sheep from the goats!" he joked. "But something is clearly wrong with Thomas' whistle."

Thomas had a booked stop at Knapford Junction to allow an express to pass. There were lots of people on the platform. Twilight consulted the piece of paper she had been given. "We need to read the rhyme," she said. "Manager's orders."

"You're rhyming too!" Thomas exclaimed. "What realm of madness have I fallen into? Besides, the rhyme is stupid!"

"Manager's orders," Twilight replied. "I don't like it either, but we must do as told."

Thomas sighed. "Fine. Hurry to the country show. Tell your friends and don't be slow!" he said, with as much enthusiasm as he could garner.

Just then, the signal dropped. "Let's go!" Twilight said, and blasted Thomas' whistle. The effect was similar to that at the works, as people fell over in shock and jumped in fright.

"There's something wrong with his whistle!" exclaimed the station master. "I must phone Sir Toppham Hatt."


Thomas puffed into Knapford Station and was forced to stop again, as a late running ballast train from Arlesburgh was yet to arrive. Whilst there, he saw Bertie pull up with a load of passengers. "Well, time to say the rhyme," he sighed, as the bus passengers walked onto the platform. "Hurry to the country show. Tell your friends and don't be slow!"

Then the signal dropped as Douglas rattled through with the ballast. Twilight sounded the whistle again, and people once again were caught off guard, falling over, falling onto one another, dropping their scones on the floor, and making a mess as Thomas pulled away.

Mane Allgood emerged onto the platform from the teashop. "What does that lunatic think he's doing?" she said. "That loud noise made me drop a plate!"

"I'll help clean it up," said a customer.


Thomas had to make one last stop at Tidmouth, before being cleared onto the Arlesburgh line. As he called at the platform, the place was packed. "Hurry to the country show. Tell your friends and don't be slow!" He said. "This is getting really tiresome."

"One last blast of the whistle ought to do it!" Twilight said. She pulled down on the whistle chord, and the chime whistle echoed through the station as Thomas moved off once more. The noise was so loud that glass shattered.

At long last, he stopped at Sweet Apple Acres siding. Big Mac and Applejack were on hand to open the doors of the cattle vans, but the animals emerged looking frightened, and scared.

"What's gotten inta them?" Big Mac asked.

"Beats me," Applejack said. "Any clues, Twi?"

Twilight turned red. "I may have been using the whistle a bit too much," she admitted.

"Why would that be a problem?" Applejack asked. "Thomas' whistle ain't too scary."

Twilight said nothing, but pulled down on the whistle chord. The sheer volume and texture of the sound soon made the problem clear.

"Ahhh," said Big Mac. "Ah see the problem. The whistle is so loud and strange the animals ain't used ta it. Ya need to get the old one put back on as soon as possible."

"Assuming we have any eardrums left," added Snap Shutter, arriving with Scootaloo in tow, who had her hands over her ears. "Drop Thomas' fire. I'm going to make some modifications."

A bit later still, Thomas' whistle was a lot quieter, thanks to a dampening plate having been installed. The improved sound calmed the animals down, and soon the show went on as normal.

Sir Toppham Hatt arrived to see all was well at the show. "Well done Thomas!" he said. "That was some fine work you've done today, and it's good to hear your whistle sort of back to normal."

"Thank you sir," Thomas said. "I've noticed you've stopped alliterating or rhyming."

"Marketing trick on behalf of the country show," he laughed. "It clearly worked!"

And the entirety of Sweet Apple Acres sounded to mirth and merriment.

Author's Note:

Wonky Whistle is widely regarded as the worst episode of Thomas and Friends ever made (good lord, the alliteration is infectious), and it's easy to see why, from the unrealistic nature of the story, to the danger of an engine with a nonfunctioning whistle, to the fact the engines need to rhyme all the time. This is my attempt to fix it.