• Member Since 21st Jul, 2016
  • offline last seen 38 minutes ago

Smart Mouth


I know I'm weird but normal people are boring anyway

T

Collab with:
LtMajorDude
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/51982/LtMajorDude

&

MadHatBat
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/357409/Madhatbat


A hybrid Pegasus / Kitsune went to a special school with the children of the Mane 6, Foals from the show, Brony reviewers, & Monster OCs. There they were taught how to control their unique gifts by Doctor Whooves, The 6 Pillars, and a reformed Sombra. Now they are old enough to start using their gifts to help others. Scootaloo must lead this group of superpowered teenagers to explore & protect their star cluster. It's time for the Next Generation to leave their mark.


Planned Sagas

● Saga 0: Champions of Tomorrow


> Ep1: Doctor Whooves
4 Chapters

> Ep2: Misfits (Main Characters)
7 Chapters

> Ep3: Changeling Civil War
5 Chapters

> Ep4: Two Sisters and a Draconequus
9 Chapters

> Ep5: Space, First Steps
7 Chapters

> Ep6: Future Cliques
6 Chapters

> Ep7: School Days
4 Chapters

● Saga 1: Beyond Equus


> Mon Tournament:
The crews first mission is more diplomatic then dangerous. They are sent out to participate in a interplanetary tournament held on stations between solar systems. There are 3 Tournaments going on. One for monsters, one for Pokemon, and one for Digimon. The crew needs to sail between stations to participate in different parts of the Tournament, exploring the Star Cluster as they do so. Each station has a different artificial environment for a different type of Mon. Each Tournament uses a different type of capture item. Monsters require cards etched with Lyrium to catch them. Pokemon requires Pokeballs. Digimon requires a Digivice. Each Tournament involves batting the specific type of mon, using magical cards with legally approved spells to assist in the battles.

> Predator Saga:
Alien races unite and declare war against the Yautja. Equestria is a neutral party, trying to solve the conflict peacefully, well using the crew of superteens to sabotage Yautja efforts and secretly help the other races.

> Restless Dead Saga:
An ancient Lich leads an army of undead to attack the Sector. Crew are sent out to search for the Lich's phylactery in order to kill it.

> Dragon Civil War Saga:
Dragon Lord Ember is overthrown by Garble and war breaks out across the Sector between the various dragon species with the rest of the planets in the crossfire. The crew must help Ember regain her throne and end the war.

> Cybernetic Uprising Saga:
Synthetic lifeforms rebel and attack their organic masters. This causes a civil war for the Clockwork Ponies, as some join the robots and others fight for the organics.

> War of Man Saga:
Humans are spreading throughout the Sector, harvesting other worlds for resources regardless if they are already inhabited.

> Galactic Leyline Saga:
Long before the events of the Anime "Outlaw Star" the Galactic Leyline was located within the Villam Sector. The party goes on an adventure to find it for themselves, battling factions from every world that want the Leyline for themselves.

● Saga 2: Greater Galaxy

● Saga 3: TARDIS Days

● Saga 4: Titans of Midgard

● Saga 5: Reapers

● Saga 6: Planet Normandy

● Saga 7: Humanoid Sector

● Saga 8: Verse 42

● Saga 9: Epilogue

#####

Main Crew
The first chapter of every adventure, in every Saga, will focus on Smart Mouth interacting with a different cliques or individual at TARDIS Academy. The different cliques the children belong to at school will be their adventuring party well on missions as adults, with Smart Mouth being in every party as the team Healer.

These are the Cliques of the kids.

>Clique
● (Name)
(Race)
(Class)
(Parents)

>Loner
Eventually becomes friends with later but starts out with no friends at all
● Smart Mouth
Pegasus / Kitsune Hanyou
Divine: Necromancer

>Misfits
● Screwball
Earth Pony / Demigod
No Class
● Spike
Equus Dragon
Arcane Warrior
● Rumble
Pegasus
Rogue: Bard
● Button Mash
Earth Pony
Rogue: Technomancer
● Dinky Whooves
Time Pony Unicorn
Mage: Time Agent

>Popular Kids
● Flutter Might
Pegasus
Fluttershy + Snowflake
Warrior: Ranger
● Cheese Cake
Earth Pony
Warrior: Toon
Pinkie Pie + Cheese Sandwich
● Illusion
Draconequus / Celestial
Celestia + Discord
no class, learning control
Kilalaaa's Character
● Bookhorse
Unicorn
Starlight Glimmer + Sunburst
Arcane Warrior
● Crystal Cider
Unicorn
Applejack + Rarity
Mage: Druid
● Fanatic "Fangirl" Streak
Pegasus
Rainbow Dash + Quibble Pants
Warrior: Speedster

>Jocks
● Sea Star
Sea Pony
Warrior: Monk
● Patches
Giraffe
Warrior: Knight
● Roche
Changeling
Divine Class: Templar of Harmony
● Zorc
Zebra
Warrior: Speedster
● Brawny Buck
Pegasus
Warrior: Monk

>Outcast
● Icy Flames
Kirin / Nirik (Kirin transforms whem angry into fire monsters called the Nirik)
● Silver Quill
Hippogriff
Rogue: Toon
● Doctor Wolf
Wolf Yokai
Mage: Empath
Rogue: Druid
● Exposition Application / App
Clockwork (Pony Android, with artificial brain created through Alchemy)
Warrior: Solar
● Frost Bite
Wendigo
Divine Class: Cleric of Discord
● Pipsqueak
Earth Pony
Rogue: Gunslinger

>Preps
● Klygran
Centaur
Mage: Ranger
● Qrox
Kobold
Mage: Toy Master
● Cosmic
Equestrian Deer
Mage: Druid
● Nelis
Yaun-ti
Mage: Alchemist

>Bullies
● Sparkling Flare
Earth Pony
Twilight Sparkle + Flash Sentry
Arcane Warrior
● Insanely Rich
Unicorn
Diamond Tiara + Gold Bonds (OC)
Rich Brat's twin sister
Arcane Shinobi
● Rich Brat
Unicorn
Diamond Tiara + Gold Bonds (OC)
Battle Shinobi

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 3 )

Okay, so the premise of this seems to be space adventures with Ponies and other races of that inhabit this galaxy. Neat. As a concept, it's pretty good. That said, there are a few things that are keeping it down.

First, this Doctor Whooves is never properly introduced. The story starts talking about him as if we should already know who he is. Some stuff is explained, but not quite enough. Who is he, precisely? Where did he come from? Where is he now? That last question can be answered with an "unknown", that's fine. Heck, any of those questions can be answered with an "unknown". But at this point, I'm unclear as to whether or not I should know. Yes, I know he's Doctor Who, but he still needs to be introduced. It's generally not wise to assume your audience knows who someone is, even if they're someone famous.

This also applies to the Yokai. Yes, I know they're clearly the Yokai from Japanese lore, but I'm not really given a good sense of how they fit into all this, other than that they observe. Which is great, but I'm given little reason to be invested in them.

My other issue is simply with the size of the exposition dump. I've been given a lot of information to sort through, but without any characters to be invested in, very little of it will stick. I used to do the same thing while writing. In general, however, people need characters to care about before they can care about the world that character lives in. I can appreciate that this information is important, but I feel it could've been trimmed down a bit.

The ides of Ponies inventing light speed travel and setting out to terraform within three years is a tad ridiculous, but it's also kind of amusing so I'll give that one a pass. I'm curious as to where that's going.

Overall, I do see a lot of potential for the premise. I'll be keeping an eye on this one to see how it plays out. I can only assume Rainbow Dash revels in the opportunity to fly higher than ever before.

9813931
All these concerns will be addressed in the rest of Saga 0.
It will introduce characters in the following chapters as well as go into more detail of what is going on.

Howdy. As one of the writers for this story going forward I intend to help alleviate some of the confusion by introducing characters, giving them backstories, and moving them towards a centralized plot line. Keep in mind that this story falls under the genre of "epic space opera" so some jumping around is not only necessary but common for the genre. Additionally, as a space opera that goes through time, some movement to specific events will also be necessary to establish how the final product will come together. I intend to make this story shine through a conscious effort to connect disparate elements in time and space into a cute and funny story about the universe the story takes place in. My specialty is warm and personable character development which will be placed into the finished product. I hope you enjoy this story as much as I'll enjoy writing it!

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