• Member Since 9th Oct, 2017
  • offline last seen 44 minutes ago

Nailah


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Fluttershy knows the fear of letting the music inside her out. Seeing Sweetie Belle struggling, she puts aside her own anxieties to help a friend in need. Together, they can make beautiful music.

Additional characters- Torch Song, Toe Tapper, Celestia and Luna.

Preread by: Skyward Sword and David Silver
Edited by: Skyward Sword and David Silver.
<3

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 12 )

Okay, I think I've got diabetes now.

Awww that's sweet. Love your story, keep up the good work!

Wait! Which princess was the better singer?!?

9813997
The world may never know.

9814007
In that case I vote Luna. And I'll stick to best princess until proven otherwise. :raritywink:

Lovely tale though the song part needed some sentence breaks between them cause I couldn't tell which lyric started or ended. And the part with the two sisters wanting to compete in singing was kinda useless filler that led to nothing.

But in the end I still enjoyed this simple tale

This is adorable. This could've been a beautiful episode: Sweetie Belle learning she doesn't need to follow in the footsteps of Rarity to be special.

Wait, who's Torch Song?

9820709
She is the female member of the pony tunes.

A sweet little tale, nice work. :pinkiesmile:

This could use a few edits. There's little minor fixes (missing words, and the name of the group is the Ponytones, not pony tunes) and stilted descriptions and conversation (Torch Song in particular) that sounds unlike the characters.

As 9814758 already pointed out, the entire conversation between the two royal sisters was pointless; it set up a conflict that was never addressed again, but more to the point - the whole scene in the throne room could be deleted and the story wouldn't suffer.

Sweetie Belle's confession of being scared before the performance was the best character moment of the story. That felt true to her.

I don't like giving negative feedback on a story that has a good premise like your story does. I want to see the execution of the idea rise to do the premise justice. Please give this story some solid edits, and I think it'll be much better for the effort.

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