Chapter 3: The Banker And The Actor (Part 1)
Shining had lost track of time.
Either the bars were no longer that cold or the outside was getting colder.
But he grew conscious of more footsteps.
An old stallion was making his way up the steps. He was a pale yellow creature, bespectacled, wizened and hunched with a bald scalp and wispy grey hair at the back of his head and around his cheeks. He struck one as one not built for combat.
Which was a shame since his garb actually looked the closest Shining had seen to imposing.
He wore hardy black armour decorated with rows of golden rings and belts with crimson surcoat trimmed with white fur. His shoulder pads resembled antlered skulls. A dark-gold sigil depicting an equine face gripped by rage was pinned to his chest over a tabard of silver fur.
One thing that rather ruined it was the trailing red hat ribbed with gold that made his head look like some colossal wind-sock.
Shining rested his arms against the bars and gazed at the spectacle.
“Oh, it’s Hearth’s Warming already,” he chuckled.
That set off the newcomer.
The veins in his neck and across his scalp showed through the skin and fur.
“Hearth's Warming?!” he sneered “Bah! Humbu-”
“Now I’m gonna stop you right there.” Shining held up a finger. “'Humbug' refers either to a brand of peppermint hard candy or a word meaning fraud or folly, neither of which refer to your meaning, intended or otherwise.” He paused, feeling rather like his little sister after such a summary. “It’s also the name of a gobaloid creature one can find in Stirrope. Fletcher Fray told me about them. Can’t trust anything they say apparently.”
“Shut up!" the old stallion screeched. “Your sister sent you, didn’t she?”
Shining rolled his eyes.
"What is it with every jerk I’m meeting today suspecting a mare of sending me here?! You notice I’m in a cage?!”
“It’s exactly where you DESERVE!” the stallion sneered.
“Well, you’d know what it’s like, wouldn’t you?”
“Exactly! The night your wretched little Princess had me FALSELY ACCUSED, locked me up! The humiliation! The stress! The-”
“No, I didn’t mean that part. I didn’t mean the wrongful arrest...just the arrest.” His eyes gleamed as he leaned forward “That’s right...I know...Miser Stash...Or whatever you’re calling yourself.”
“Wh...” the stallion calling himself Miser Stash burbled, his right eye twitching “Then you know the horrible truth. My past, my SUFFERING-”
“Not what I was referring to.” Shining replied “I know what really happened. To you, to your old friends, and the circumstances at that fateful Hearth’s Warming...and the little afterparty they threw for you.”
“How DARE you refer to that...MISCARRIAGE OF JUSTICE!” Miser screamed.
Shining gave him a look.
“I don’t know why...but I really don’t want you to say ‘miscarriage’ ever again.” he said flatly “And in answer to your question; No, I don’t dare refer to that...‘travesty of justice’ as you should have called it. Because it was no travesty.”
“You know NOTHING!”
“I know enough.” The young unicorn retorted “And I remember every word Twilight told me...‘Twas the night after Hearth’s Warming...”
...
The relative silence across Sweet Apple Acres was broken only by the bounces of the merry young pink party-maker as she made an early start to the Winter Wrap-Up decorations across her cousin’s homestead. Most paid her little mind though Maud Pie and Applebloom were obliging her with arrangement and carrying wherever it was needed. Rainbow Dash and Applejack was taking it upon herself to work putting the leftovers in their proper place of storage while Rainbow Dash was trying to balance her cider-bottle pyramid. Three couples; Velvet and Night Light, Cadence and Shining and Rarity and Spike were slowly dancing a while as Granny Smith gently strummed her banjo. Flurry Heart was dozing, tucked up in a large Hearths Warming stocking.
Twilight Sparkle meanwhile rested against the bench...a mug of cider half-finished in her forehoof.
Her mood was downcast. She was trying not to show it and she’d been in a jubilant mood for the rest of the day but now, with everything winding down, it was hard to focus on anything but the things she could have done better. Or others could have done better.
Pinkie Pie was the first on it, honed in on the gloomy mood like a targeting system. She bounced over, plonked her round, pink behind on a stool that Twilight was certain wasn’t there before she landed and looked up at Twilight with a bright smile.
“Hey, grumpy-gallops? Why the frown?”
“Hm?” Twilight looked up, her eyes half-closed “Sorry...I’m kinda’ out of it.”
“C’mon, I haven’t seen you play around with any presents yet.”
“Don’t worry, I will. I’m just kinda...” Twilight trailed off.
“I mean, I love the gift you gave me! I’m gonna’ have lots and lots and lots and lots and LOTS of fun with these!” She pointed down to the large, responsive and brightly coloured springs that fitted perfectly to her hooves, changing colour every time they squashed and stretched.
“I mean, thanks to you, now I literally have a spring in my step!” She fell about laughing, her springs flying around in the air as her hooves kicked at nothing.
Twilight managed a half-smile.
“Glad you like them, Pinkie...” she murmured.
Pinkie stopped, hopped up and tilted Twilight’s chin up.
“You still puzzling over that bad dream?” she asked with dancing eyebrows.
“Well...kinda’.” Twilight said tiredly.
“C’mon, Twiley! Don’t worry about it! Pull a cracker with me! Or let’s make some s’mores! Or maybe let’s sing a holiday jingle! Or jing a holiday single! Or-”
Twilight gripped the side of her temples and found herself snapping in frustration.
“Pinkie! Listen! Just ‘cause you never think about the stuff that worries you...”
She stopped as she realised what she was saying. And most others in the room realised it too. The banjo stopped playing and her friends and family turned to eye her with concern and some amount of reproach. Velvet, Night Light and Shining had spoken to her in the morning so they knew how difficult it was for her. But still.
Pinkie, of all ponies.
Twilight was the first to find her voice, staring guilt-riddenly at her friend, whose soreness was already showing with her eyes widening, her lips trembling and a few strands of her mane losing their buoyancy.
“Pinkie, I’m so sorry!” the Princess of Friendship stammered her forehooves shaking “I didn’t mean it, Pinkie, I promise! I-I-I just...I’ve just been so confused and-”
“I-i-it’s okay, Twiley. I...I just...” She appeared smaller, huddling down behind the counter “Do you...do you really think that about me? That I don’t think enough about...the stuff that matters?”
“No, no, Pinkie, of course not, I just...” Twilight found herself out of words, tears forming in her eyes.
The sight of them dispelled any feeling of resentment Pinkie Pie may have had as she wrapped her forehooves around her dear friend and hugged her.
“I don’t want you to worry, Twiley. Not on Hearth’s Warming. That’s a Frowny-Face-Free Day, no backsies.” she cooed “Look, you’re a little cranky after all that’s happened and...I just want to help.”
“It’s...it’s okay, really.”
“No, it isn’t. Not until I turn that frown upside down.” Pinkie Pie steadied Twilight in her chair and gave her a determined, mother-like look “You sit there for a sec and I’ll make you some hot chocolate.”
A ‘sec’ really was how long it took. Certainly less than ten seconds later, Pinkie Pie had whipped up a hot chocolate with all the trimmings, the whip-cream almost high enough to meet her eyebrows.
It brought a small smile to Twilight’s face.
She didn’t truly know what was making her so unable to enjoy the rest of the day.
Beside her, a cyan pegasus with a technicolour mane perched on a stool and stretched her hooves.
“You still feelin’ edgy about that Miser Stash guy, Twi?” she sighed “I can barely remember his name now.”
“I don’t know, Dash, I just...” Twilight shook her head “I just can’t help feeling we could’ve done more.”
Rainbow Dash nearly spit out a mouthful of cider.
“You kidding?! Twi, you did everything and more for that cranky old jerk-wad! If he’s still gonna’ throw a hissy fit and take out his own bad mood on everypony else, that’s on him! It’s all on him! If you’re a terrible pony to know, and you act terribly, and you know you act terribly, it’s really on you if ponies think you’re, y’know, terrible!”
“Yeah but...all the good he was doing.”
“Which he never gave even a slight hint towards.” Rainbow Dash pointed out “Explain to me the logic here. A stallion acts like a complete flank-bag to everypony he meets. So ponies don’t like him, ‘cause, well, nopony likes a flank-bag. Secretly, he’s donating millions to good causes, emphasis on the word ‘secretly’. So...he takes offence to not being liked for acting like a flank-bag...while keeping the things that could get him liked a secret.”
Twilight stared into space a moment.
“Uh...you sure you got that right?” she asked, her mind still too cloudy and jumbled to make sense of it all.
Rainbow Dash shrugged.
“Like I said, it’s on him. When he was let out of prison and we all apologised and thanked him for all he did, he had the chance to realise it was all a misunderstanding, move on and actually be the pony he claimed to be, maybe meet all the ponies he’d been helping, see things in a better light and so on. But no, because he’d been treated like trash, despite treating everypony he meets like trash, he tossed it all away and vowed never to help anypony again.” She snorted “I say good riddance. Equestria’s better without ponies like him. If he’s gonna’ give up on the one good thing he was doing because of something that was both a huge mistake and pretty much his fault anyway, he was never that good a pony even in spite of that. So to hay with him...”
Twilight gave her an uneasy look.
“Well, I wish I shared your straightforwardness, Dash...I just can’t help feeling responsible.”
“You’re probably just tired.”
“But how can I be tired? I spent the night asleep?”
Twilight looked up a second after those words escaping her mouth.
Her mind was jolted out of its stagnancy and back into a rolling tide.
She was tired. She felt more tired than she had in a while, not since her first day of being an alicorn trying to keep all her friends together and satisfied.
She felt like she hadn’t slept a wink.
But she had. Her very vivid dreams were the very cause of her fatigue.
But how?
If she’d woken again and again in the night, that would make sense, a restless night was no good for the brain, but it wasn’t restless. It had gone on for hours. And it was all so...
Real.
There was a tapping at the door that brought everything to a silence again, though not as abrupt or awkward.
Pinkie Pie jumped, bounced off the ceiling, somersaulted and landed before the door on one hoof, opening it with a smile.
Standing in the doorway, dressed in a dusky indigo cloak, was a caribou doe.
She was wearing a hood fastened in a way the deer used to keep their antlers uncovered, the top of the cowl fastened by a brooch to the two sides, leaving two gaps beside the opening for the antlers. On a doe, they were small but still quite prominent. Her coat was a pale grey while her mane was a mossy-viridian. Her eyes, however, were bright violet, staring at the pink pony before her.
“Good evening.” she said flatly.
“Hi.” Pinkie Pie said chirpily “Happy Hearth’s Warming! You wanna’ kiss somepony under the mistletoe?”
She pointed to the sprig of mistletoe hanging over the doorway. At the sight of it, the violet eyes on the doe widened with horror as she drew back slightly.
“Please...ma’am...take it off the door...It’s very bad luck for a caribou to pass under hanging Sourtwig.”
“Huh?” the pink mare raised an eyebrow and giggled “Why? You afraid of catching cooties?”
“It’s more complicated than that, Pinkie.” Twilight’s horn lit up and took the mistletoe off the doorway and hung it over the tree, explaining to her friend “Caribou regard the mistletoe as an ill-omen. It’s said that the greatest and kindest of their kings was poisoned by his brother by mistletoe, rendering him infertile and dooming his line.”
“Quite correct.” the caribou nodded “I mean you no offence, good rosy mare, but it simply isn’t safe for me.”
Pinkie gave a shrug.
“S’okay. Wouldn’t want to scare ya’ on Hearths Warming.” she said obligingly.
“You are most kind. I wish you a good Yulefest three days from now.” the deer said calmly, devoid of much emotion “May I please speak with your town’s Princess? I tried the town hall and was told she’d be in your castle but I found no reply so I asked your apprentice at Trixie’s Travelling Circus Show. She told me she’d be here.”
“I’m here.” Twilight got off her chair and addressed her with a smile “Princess Twilight Sparkle, at your service.”
The caribou bowed her head courteously, her antlers nearly touching the floor.
“Greetings. My name is Hollicent Van Hodurheim, of Huginmunin Hall, capital of Hrafyn Isle.”
There was a pause.
“That’s a mighty mouthful.” Applejack said, nonplussed.
“So I’ve been told.”
“Can we call you ‘Holly’?” Fluttershy asked.
The caribou gave a small smile.
“You may. I like Holly. It’s a good plant. It grows bright and pretty in the harshest season yet one does not touch it without care and grace.”
Fluttershy gave an awed look, a bright smile lighting up her face.
“Of course. On the Northern Isles, you must get Awny Holly and Broomy Holly and Needlewhite Holly. Do you have any samples? I’d love to see how they grow here in Equestria with such a difference in temperate zone and seasonal cycle.”
“Not that this isn’t fascinating...” Twilight interjected “But um...why exactly did you want to speak to me?”
Holly Van Hodurheim removed her hood and shook her head a moment.
“This isn’t the first time I came to Equestria. I lived here a while before...events...”
“Now hold on!” Spike piped up, standing between the deer and Rarity with his little arms outstretched “You better not be thinking of doing anything to Rarity, caribou! Or Twilight! Or any mare, really!”
“Spike! Don’t be stereotypical.” Twilight scolded. The caribou meanwhile gave a small smile.
“It’s fine. It’s not the first time others have presumed upon that story. You may call me ‘reindeer’ if it’s easier. It’s like calling a pony a ‘horse’.” She gave her head a thoughtful tilt “There was a group of caribou who did partake in such vile acts, the Reavers of Drainn. But that was many long years ago. Our Queen Mathilda and her Shieldmaidens wiped them out.” she said proudly “Many of her Shieldmaidens came from Hrafyn Isle too. A glorious deed. May I sit down?”
“Sure, no need to ask.”
“I was just whipping up some hot chocolate.” Pinkie Pie said, hopping behind the counter “Want some?”
“An’ we got Sweet Apple cider if you fancy somethin’ stronger.” Applejack said with pride.
Holly gave the board above the bar a look.
“You don’t have any mead, perchance? Or mulled wine?”
“Well...we got Honey and Ginger Cider. Is that close enough? The honey’s from Fluttershy’s own garden. We warm it for the winter.”
“It sounds more than pleasant. I shall try some, thank you.” The caribou said calmly.
The curious thing about her was how still her face seemed. She’d smiled now and again but her eyes remained wide and staring, her cheeks high and sunken, her ears sloped even without the hood.
She took a cup of warm cider and sipped at it. Nodding approvingly, she turned to Princess Twilight Sparkle.
“You ask why I came to see you?” she said “For a while now, I have been searching for a pony, a stallion, he’d be quite old now. The search has lasted years but at last, I have found his trail with the knowledge that he has been here, in your company, most recently.”
“Is this somepony you used to know? An old friend?”
“Yes...but my current relationship with him...and my intentions toward him...are not friendly. In the slightest.” Holly answered with a blunt look and tone “If knowing that makes you unwilling to help me, I understand and shall take my business elsewhere.”
Twilight paused, weighing Holly’s words.
Ponies around them eyed each other with curiosity and no small amount of unease.
She exercised her inquisitiveness.
“Who is this stallion you’re after?”
The deep violet eyes of Holly Van Hodurheim darkened as her brow furrowed and her lips curled, as if speaking the name brought a foul taste to her mouth.
“He goes by the name of ‘Miser’.”
All eyes turned to the reindeer.
Twilight blinked.
“Miser...Stash?”
Holly raised an eyebrow.
“So that’s the surname he’s going by. It would make sense. He could have stood to change his first name, at least. Give it something to roll off the tongue.”
“Wait, wait, wait a moment.” Rarity said, sitting down the other side of Holly “You know him? He never mentioned you?”
“He wouldn’t have done. He wanted me forgotten. And it wasn’t safe to let him know I was back yet.”
“Safe? Wha...Who is he? And how do you know him?” Applejack stammered.
“I think that’s the first thing we need to know right now.” Twilight felt she was onto something.
“But was he here?” Holly asked tentatively “How do you know him? What did he say to you?”
Twilight recollected everything. How Miser Stash had appeared, a cold, bitter-minded banker who spat on Hearths Warming and the very concept of friendship and forgiveness. How she’d been visited by three spirits that took the form of the Cutie Mark Crusaders who showed her what Miser Stash had been through, the money he secretly sent to the poor and the terrible future in store for her if he was punished.
Throughout, Holly’s violet eyes flickered and twitched, the clay cup in her hoof rattling on the bar-table. Rarity and Spike backed away from her with unease, sensing this doe was an inch from utter frenzy. Cadence picked up Flurry from the stocking and made sure her ears were covered with earmuffs in case of any outburst that might disturb her.
Twilight got to the point where Miser angrily resigned from his position as head of the bank and paused, unable to ignore the rage on her guest.
“Um...Holly...” she asked quietly “Are you er...alright?”
Holly shut her eyes a moment and spoke, her tone eerily calm.
“Madam Applejack, before I inquire, I’d like to know...This cup, does it have any significant sentimental, financial or otherwise personal value?”
Applejack shrugged.
“Not really. We got a whole cabinet of ‘em. Uncle Apple Bottoms took up pottery a while back. He makes a bunch of them for each occasion.”
“Good...Now, Princess Twilight, could you please repeat for me...the name of Miser’s betrothed you heard?”
An odd question. Worded oddly. The name ‘she heard’?
Twilight had mulled over the idea that what she was seeing was a lie but it was a strange place to start. One would remember the name of their own spouse, surely.
“Her name...the one I heard...was Twinkle Belle.”
A sinew in Holly Van Hodurheim’s neck stretched, showing through her skin and downy fur. Her violet eyes bulged. Her teeth clenched behind twisting lips. The hoof that held the cup shook, steadily rising.
With a deafening bellow of rage, she hurled the cup across the barn where it shattered into fragments, before slamming both her forehooves upon the wooden floorboards again and again, wailing and cursing in Tarandric, the language of the caribou.
“Bastarter! Swartlhyartan Bastarter! Henne bloth er upa den hoven ag yu taler ikke engang hens nayven! Yu deidyer henne! Yu deidyer dem alla for att kom tol meg! Och yu kom inter en mymber! Skokason! Sleynason! Lyuga, Morda Liknuller! Yavladen! Yavladen tol Muspeller!” Her rage spent, she pressed her forehooves against the floor and bowed her head, shaking like a leaf. Tears ran from her cheeks to soak the floorboards.
“Hower kun yu...” she whimpered “Hower kun yu...”
As Pinkie, Applejack and Scootaloo edged over to comfort her, Rainbow turned to Twilight.
“Did...you understand any of that?”
“Yes, most of it.” Twilight checked to make sure neither the CMC, Flurry Heart or her parents could hear and worded it in a way that upheld as much calmness and courtesy as possible.
“Okay, um...‘Illegitimate. Black-hearted illegitimate. Her blood is on your hooves and you won’t say her name. You killed her. You killed them all to get to me. And you don’t remember. Son of a prostitute. Son of a witch. Lying, murdering fornicator of corpses. Curse you. Curse you to Muspell.’ That’s the pit of fire in Tarand lore. Then ‘How could you...How could you’.”
Rainbow gave her a bemused look.
“I understood the word ‘Bastarter’, Twi.” she muttered before being shushed by her friend, Cadence, Applejack and Velvet.
In the middle of the room, Applejack rubbed the weeping Holly’s forelegs while Pinkie patted her head.
“Shh-shh-shh, let’s all calm down now, okay?” Applejack said reassuringly.
“You need any hot chocolate?” Pinkie asked tentatively.
“What I need...is that filthy liar’s blood...” Holly hissed through her tears as she was led gently to an armchair beside the fire. Applebloom busied herself picking up the fragments. Soaked in hot water and put back on the potter’s wheel, they could be remade.
Twilight edged her way forward and spoke.
“Okay...clearly, we’ve got the wrong end of the stick here.” she said slowly “Miss Van Hodurheim...would you please tell us what you know of Miser? What...what he really is. And who Twinkle Belle is...was.”
“That wasn’t her name.” Holly murmured resentfully “He doesn’t have the guts to say her real name!”
“Then what was it?” Applejack asked.
“Her name...” Holly’s voice grew plaintive, longing, fond “Her name was Tinsel. Tinsel Twine. She liked the name ‘Jinglebell’.”
“So...he didn’t want to remember her name because he hates Hearths Warming? Is that it?”
“No, no, no...” Holly nursed her temples “She’s the reason he hates Hearths Warming in the first place.” She gave Twilight a sincere look, her violet eyes gleaming in reminiscence.
“Hearths Warming...was the day I proposed...”
Twilight raised an eyebrow in surprise.
“To...to Miser?”
“No.” Holly sighed “To Tinsel.”
There was a long pause.
Twilight pulled up a chair and sat down beside Holly Van Hodurheim.
“Okay...Dad?” she began “Can you get in touch with your old friend, Colonel Peregrine, and make sure the nearest airship harbours are under surveillance. I don’t think I want Miser Stash leaving Equestria just yet?”
“Sure thing, sweetie.” The navy-blue unicorn said with a smile “If I know Perry, he’d rather be anywhere than Hearths Warming with his in-laws.”
“Okay...” Twilight relaxed, brought forth a cup of tea for both herself and Holly, and inquired.
“I think you’d better tell us exactly how you came to be involved in this.”
Holly Van Hodurheim sipped her tea and got the weight of her past off her chest.
“You might think, being a caribou, I was some kind of warrior or shieldmaiden but alas, my aptitude lies elsewhere. By trade, like my mother before me, I am a Toskhind.”
“A what?” Rainbow Dash asked, noting Twilight’s uneasy expression.
“A female master-thief, loosely translated.”
Applejack gave a scornful look and checked about.
“If this is some kinda’ trick, missy...”
“You needn’t worry.” Holly butted in “The Toskhinden aren’t common thieves. They have creeds and codes to their livelihood. You’ve offered me shelter, food and courtesy. As such, it is now forbidden for me to take anything from your home or properties. To do so would shame the name of the Toskhind and I would have many fellow Toskhinden after my blood.”
“Did you break into my castle while I was out?”
“I was planning to but I saw you had an owl.”
“Is that...relevant?” Rarity asked. Holly gave her a piercing look.
“Thieves do not go where the owls go. Thieves cannot be seen and owls see all.”
Twilight nodded at another caribou custom.
“So...you came to Equestria to seek your fortune?”
“Not entirely.” Holly shrugged “I was still a fawn when I left Hrafyn. Jarl Broderbloth started hunting the Toskhinden and I know this sounds cowardly to you but when swords are drawn, thieves tends to run. I came to Equestria where I met a pony who spoke Tarandric well.”
She smiled at the memory.
“His name was Marten Pine. I tried to rob him at a hostel and found he too was a thief, a better one than I for he caught me in the act. But I nearly managed it...And he was impressed. Through him, I completed my teaching.”
“Marten Pine...” Twilight recollected “The name rings a bell but...I don’t quite know...”
“Goodness.” Rarity’s eyelashes fluttered with pride “This is a historic moment, Twilight. Something you don’t know...but I do.”
Twilight gave an intrigued smile of friendly rivalry.
“Oh really? Do tell.”
Rarity gave a girlish little giggle and spoke, delighted to be the font of knowledge of the group for a moment.
“Marten Pine was a civil rights activist. He succeeded in putting a permanent end to the fur trade in Equestria and campaigned for the rights and opportunities of small businesses and workers unions. I studied him for a while at college. Many entrepreneurs-en-cours like myself owe a lot to him. He became a bit of a no-show after his retirement then a couple of years afterward nopony saw him.
Holly nodded, an impressed half-smile on her face.
“That’s half the story. Marten Pine was indeed a scholar. He was also a master thief. And in both cases, he was a natural leader and a defender of the downtrodden. Like the Toskhinden, he lived by a code of thievery but his was based more on who you stole from than how you did it. He operated on a very strict code. Rob from the rich and half the takings go to those the rich rob.”
There was a pause.
“You mean like...Robin Redhood?”
“Yes. A very famous Equestrian thief apparently.”
“He was. He operated during the Regency when Celestia and Luna were still young and a circle of nobles ran Equestria who refused to surrender their power even after the Princesses came of age..” Twilight explained “Corruption was high and the poor were taxed unreasonably and punished unfairly. He was one of the many Princessist Activists who advocated for the two princesses to be given the power due to them and robbed those who were making money off the suffering of ponies, giving the bits to the poor.”
“Well, yes. That was pretty much how Marten told it too. We robbed from the rich and...mostly gave to the poor.” Holly shuffled a hoof “We kept a small percentage.”
“Oh really?” Applejack said with a bemused look.
“Listen, you need money to run an operation like that, and lots of it, from day one.” Holly explained “Resources, information, contacts, secrecy, etcetera. We made sure that enough was left for the downtrodden. What’s more, a local bigwig finds his diamond ring missing and sees it in the hooves of some foal in the fields the next day, there’ll be hay to pay, won’t there. Our operation ran on secrecy. We stole items from the scum in high places, found ponies to sell them to and gave the money to those that needed it. We called ourselves The Magpies.”
“Hm...” Rarity raised her eyebrow “You wouldn’t be interested in knowing where Prince Blueblood keeps his things, would you?” But Twilight shushed her.
“Well, round about when I finished training, Marten Pine took two students. One was a filly at the university he lectured at who’d uncovered his true identity without getting caught by anypony other than him at the very last minute. The other was a homeless colt who’d followed him unseen back to our base. Both had astounding potential in the field of Thievery.”
“Tinsel Twine...” Twilight supposed “And Miser.”
“Correct.”
“So, what about Golden Heart and this bank of his?”
“Ah, yes, we come to him.” Holly sighed “Golden Heart was our fence. But that was a pseudonym. His real name was Rowan Gold-Rush. He owed the survival of his small business to Marten’s civil activism and was interested in taking part in Marten’s ‘unconventional philanthropy’ as he called it. He knew ponies who he could flog the stolen items to undercover and fetch the best prices. Through him, we were able to set up a system of robbing the rich and giving to the poor.” She chuckled “And we loved every minute of it. Tinsel especially. The smile on her face as she scaled rooves, dodged the guards, left the Baron of Bitterberry waking up the day after his tax-skimming with only himself and a pair of his great aunt’s bloomers in his master bedroom or waved goodbye to Milan Stilton as we left her in an emptied penthouse, tied to a toilet seat with a bucket of fertiliser over her head.”
“Wow!” Rainbow Dash chortled “Sounds like you two had fun.”
“Oh we did...And eventually, I realised that everything I did with her was fun. And everything about her was enough to brighten up the darkest day. Her sweet, insightful words, her voice like the first nightingale of the evening, her coat like an evergreen on a mountaintop, her soft, gentle wings like a warbler of the wood, her mane like bubbling mead and those eyes...like the sweetest berries...just twinkling...”
She looked around, wondering how long she’d been reminiscing.
Nopony seemed put off.
“You proposed then?” Cadence asked “And...she accepted?”
Holly gave a bashful smile and looked close to blushing.
“She was overjoyed. Wrapped her hooves around me and wouldn’t let go for hours, kissing me all over. I picked a special day for it. While the caribou don’t celebrate the winter solstice on the same day as Equestria, your day of Hearths Warming is the day the caribou first discovered Equestria. Thanks to the great explorer Hingr Dingr Durgen. But it was a good day for both of us. I’d never seen her so happy. Marten was happy too. He gave us both his blessing.”
“But Miser?” Applejack asked, the name extinguishing Holly’s smile like a shot.
“He was not happy. I could tell...It was then that I began paying more attention to just what he was up to. You see...Miser Able, for that was his real name, was difficult. He had great potential as a thief, very skilled, like I said, he followed Marten home to our secret lair without anypony knowing until he revealed himself. And he enjoyed stealing from the rich as much as we did...But he was still very difficult. Very different. We all saw it.”
“How different?” Fluttershy asked.
“Well, he saw things different to other ponies...As in he saw other ponies as things.”
“You mean like...he didn’t value their lives?” The timid pegasus gave a gulp.
Holly sighed.
“Marten told me once he compared Miser Able to a shattered mirror. Brilliant, sharp and dazzling...but fundamentally and irrevocably broken. There was just something...very wrong with the way he was. The first problem was when I started noticing funds were going missing from the Golden Heart Bank. At first, we assumed one of our contacts was ripping us off but then I noticed patterns.” She shifted in her armchair.
“Once, you see, there were these two young mares Miser and Tinsel knew. They were at her college and they passed by Miser on the street. They always laughed at him, called him names, threw trash, you know. Anyway, not long after the funds went missing, Tinsel found out these young mares had been checked into Canterlot Emergency Ward.”
“You mean Miser went after them?”
“No, no. The attack on these two mares was perpetrated by a group, at least ten stallions. There was a group we knew that fit the bill. Violent, bigoted thugs. We didn’t affiliate ourselves with them. They’re long gone now. But they weren’t local to where these mares lived. They’d been hired...paid.”
“To...do what?” Fluttershy asked, dreading the answer.
Holly looked around at the faces before her and sucked her teeth.
“I don’t think I should tell you in words. Foals present and all that. But to put it bluntly, they’ll never walk again, their own mothers could only identify them through their cutie marks and they can’t stand to look at a male creature without screaming in terror.”
There was a weighty silence. The ponies in the room looked to each other one by one.
“Miser...hired these stallions to do this?”
“We couldn’t prove anything of course. A master thief covers their tracks. But we knew...And they weren’t the first. From a rich colt who tripped him over in the street to a waitress who spilled his coffee, they’d turn up crippled, maimed or worse and often those they loved would be left in a similar state. Marten told me he’d handle it himself. He was just happy me and Tinsel were getting together. At this point, me and Tinsel just wanted some time with each other. We’d found a house on the northern shore, beautiful in winter. We were going to live together, just us. We’d probably go back to thieving after settling down but just to pass the time really. Marten understood. As a sort of going-away party, he organised the biggest heist yet.”
She leaned forward.
“We were going to steal from Mr Stash.”
Twilight weighed her words.
“So...this isn’t Miser’s father, Stash?”
“No, no. Mr Stash was one of Equestria’s most dreaded moguls. He ran Tox Corporation. Broadcasting, sports, entertainment; I use the term loosely.”
“Yeah, I remember him.” Rainbow Dash scowled and curled her lip “He was the jerk who called the Wonderbolts a bunch of ‘Useless, Airheaded, Liberal Filly-Foolers’.”
“Yeah, well, he also had his hooves in every site of crime and corruption in the big city. Gambling sinks and game rigging, drug distribution, porn and pimping, you name it.” Holly continued “Marten had heard of him and decided there and then he’d be our next target. You see, when we raided the rich, we’d find the stuff they were hiding. And sometimes the stuff that stank was a lot more valuable than the stuff that sparkled. If any of our victims had crimes they’d covered up, we’d uncover them and anonymously send it to the ponies who could act on it. Our way of showing the authorities whose side we were on. But Tinsel had come down with a fever so Marten took me and Miser Able with him. Anyway, we break in, deeper and deeper and we find more than we bargained for. We find enough to get Stash and everypony he’s worked with sent to prison for the rest of their lives...Then all Muspell broke loose.”
She cricked her neck and related the events.
“Stash came down unexpectedly. Started yelling. We thought we’d rigged the rotors to send off the security for the night but apparently not. That was Miser’s task. They surrounded the room. Marten told me and Miser to cover the doors while he took Stash hostage and tried to negotiate with the guards. That was when...Miser Able stabbed me.”
“What?” Twilight gasped. Holly reached over and pushed her cloak aside, showing them a small thick, pale scar running down her solar plexus.
“It just missed my heart. He twisted it and I saw his face. His eyes...I saw madness. Pure madness.” She shook her head “Marten turned and...that’s when Miser drew a bolt gun. He shot him, once, twice, thrice...” She choked back a sob, her eyes brimming with tears “Then he shot Stash in the head and took Marten’s Emergency Teleportation Crystal. In a flash, he was gone...then the building blew up.”
Rarity cupped her mouth with a hoof, staring with horror.
“How...how did you survive?” Shining asked.
“Well, we were in Stash’s safe-room. The whole thing was built like a bunker. But when I came too...there was nothing I could do for Marten. He was bleeding out. He had just enough time to ask me, beg me, to protect The Magpies from Miser Able. And...then he died in my forehooves with blood running down his chin.”
“I’m so sorry.” Twilight said, shaking her head, her face bathed in the flickering light of the fire.
“I...found a way out of the rubble. My teaching came in use. But when I reached the Magpies lair, the trainees tried to kill me. I was luckier to escape from their blades than I was to escape Miser’s...You see, he’d told them I did it. He’d framed me for Marten’s death, Stash’s death, the embezzlement, the attacks on Miser’s old enemies, the guard rotors and the deaths of everypony close to Tox Corp Holdings when it blew up.”
“I remember that day.” Velvet said with unease “You could see the explosion all over Manehattan.”
“I had to go into hiding. I was never far away from a Magpie Miser had duped that wanted me dead. And none of my former contacts were prepared to help me. So...I took a chance and wrote to Tinsel in a way she’d know was me.”
She looked down at her hooves.
“My worst mistake...” she whimpered “I didn’t hear from her at all afterwards until about a month later. I hired somepony anonymously to watch what was going on at Golden Heart’s Bank. Rowan had been duped like the rest of them and...I heard about Miser marrying Tinsel...” She tensed her neck “And the way they described her mood. Dull, quiet, monotonous, quietly helping Rowan with figures and trailing on Miser’s foreleg...It was the fever. Repeatedly. All the symptoms...”
“Miser was...poisoning her?”
“A toxin made from Devil’s Snare, Valerian and Ephedra. We’d sometimes use it to induce sleep, dizziness or forgetfulness in guards or onlookers. Marten had his suspicions. But Miser thickened the substance with the juices of Crested Cactus and Summer Shrinewort. The chemical compound was a recipe he found among Stash’s works. In the city, they call it...”
“Cantata!” Twilight exclaimed “One of the most infamous date-rape drugs in Equestria!”
“Exactly. Miser’s raw, hoof-made strain was slower and less obvious but the signs were there.” Holly shook her head “Well, Tinsel found the message and showed both Miser and Rowan. I don’t...I don’t know if she remembered anything but...” Holly was tensing again “Miser must have found out before she could act...”
“You mean...” Applejack said with a horrified look “He...he killed her? His fiance?”
“But Miser said she was the love of his life.” Twilight added.
Holly gave a resentful snort.
“Miser?! The only thing that creature’s capable of loving is himself! He wanted Tinsel, that was for sure. He lusted after her. It was her he followed to Marten’s lair in the first place, not Marten himself! And he hung on her, tried to show her up, spoke ill of me to her, called me a monster...She wouldn’t listen to him. Not without his poisons. He’d rather have her broken than the way she was.”
“So...if you don’t mind me asking...How did she die?” Rarity said tentatively.
“The same poison. An overdose.” Holly took a handkerchief from Fluttershy and wiped her muzzle tearfully “I don’t know if it was deliberate or not but what I do know is that he sent the body in a box to the house where we were supposed to live together.”
“Sweet Luna!” Applejack exclaimed.
“Unbelievable...” Cadence murmured quietly, shaking her head “How? And why?”
“A message. I think it was his way of telling me to stay away. He didn’t know if I was still there but he knew what it would mean. And what’s more...” She nursed her temples with frustration “Miser’s a pony who can’t ever accept when he’s done something wrong. Whether it was her death or his inability to truly win her heart, he wanted me to take the blame, in his own mind.”
Twilight nodded. Somehow this all sounded very familiar.
Anypony’s fault but Miser’s...
Pinkie steadily drew one foreleg around Holly’s shoulder and gave her half a hug, her pink, chubby-cheeked face full of sympathy.
“I’m really sorry, Miss Van Hodurheim.” Shining said solemnly.
“And...Rowan?” Twilight felt it best to get to the bottom of this sordid story “How did he...”
“It was a few years afterwards.” Holly explained once she’d found her voice again “He wrote to me and Tinsel’s old house. Miser had shut down the Magpies and Rowan couldn’t contact any of the old members. He’d also noticed more funds were going missing from his bank. He wanted to see me...He was scared. And he was right to be.”
“But...did Miser kill him too?”
“No. He couldn’t. Rowan had left Tinsel charge of the Golden Heart Bank and its ties to the Magpies. Miser wanted that bank. So he did what he’d always done...Got somepony else to do the deed.”
“The bank robbery!” Twilight exclaimed, everything falling into place “They were never there to rob the bank at all! They were there to kill Rowan!”
“Most likely.”
“So, one thing I don’t get.” Rainbow asked “Why does he take the name ‘Stash’?”
“Convenience, really.” Holly summarised “Stash’s murder at the Magpies hooves gave him the perfect excuse to close it down. And he’d had access to Stash’s personal files and private messages, all that could be salvaged from the explosion. So he forged the hoof-writing and left details of a supposed son, horribly abused and taken into Golden Heart’s care...His new identity. He inherited the entire estate which he promptly sold off for solid bits just as he did for the Magpies contacts, the earnings of which paid to silence those who had any suspicions, one way or another.”
“Dear Celestia! It’s...It’s monstrous!” Velvet exclaimed.
“You’re telling me.” Holly Van Hodurheim at last got to her hooves “But one thing he forgot remains in my possession. Marten Pine’s journal. He carried it with him always and entrusted it to me in his last moments.”
She drew something out of her cloak, a small but thick burgundy-covered book with a silver padlock, decorated with engravings of four dancing sables. Her eyes flickered with anticipation as she continued.
“You’re good at solving problems. I’ve come to get help in solving mine. Miser wants me dead. But I don’t want the same for him. No...” Her violet eyes flickered with fury “I want him to feel the very same twisting wound he gave me. I want everything he’s managed to steal for himself snatched from him, his past uncovered, his name ruined, I want him to receive what he deserves...Call it my Hearths Warming Present.”
“You don’t need to ask me twice.” Rainbow Dash somersaulted in mid-air, punching her forehooves together “I’m looking forward to get even with that jerk that gives jerks a bad name! Who’s with me!”
“Right. This is a job for...for...eh...” Twilight rose and found herself slipping into the armchair.
The difficult was taking its toll.
“Don’t worry, Twilight.” Pinkie Pie said hoofing over another cup of hot chocolate “Take the edge off. You’ve earned it.”
“No, no, I...I wanna’ help.”
“What about your Hearths Warming present?” Rarity asked “What did you call it again?”
“A Polyhedricon.” Cadence answered, her horn lighting up to bring it up from where Twilight had left it.
A big, beautiful jewel of a twelve-thousand facets, the device was the pinnacle of crystal technology. For Princess-Use-Only, it served as a total national database. Using it, Princess Twilight Sparkle could find out everything that went on in Ponyville as long as it was officially documented and recorded.
Essentially, once a transaction of any party was completed, she knew.
It required a significant amount of magical power and every alicorn in Equestria could sense when a Polyhedricon was being used. It was a powerful tool that was not to be abused or exploited.
Twilight simply planned to use it to better categorise paperwork or small-print.
But tonight...
“Yeah...” Twilight sat down properly and gave the crystal a burst of magic. It started spinning in ever faster circles and misty images filled the air above it.
“I might be able to find out how Miser got his hooves on Stash and Rowan’s businesses.”
“One thing that still puzzles me.” Rarity declared “A pony that is capable of multiple murders, psychological abuse and seizure of property doesn’t strike me as one who donates generously to the poor. Yet according to Twilight, Miser does so.”
“Look, I wouldn’t take any of that dream seriously.” Rainbow said tiredly “Crazy things happen in your dreams.”
“Not to Twilight.” Pinkie giggled “Crazy things happen when she’s awake.”
Something clicked.
Twilight grabbed the Polyhedricon and lit up her horn.
“I’ll be in Friendship Castle. Find Miser’s place of work and see if he made any anonymous payments. Then check his vault. I’ll be with you soon. Take a crystal communicator.”
Cadence had just enough time to nod before Twilight vanished.
Landing with a flash and a thud on the floor of Friendship Castle, imbued with fresh vigour as she sensed breakthrough, Twilight rushed up to her bedroom and sniffed around.
There it was.
A bizarre stench. Weak now but she could have sworn she smelled it in her dream.
It was acrid, uneven and as Twilight honed in on it, she felt slightly dizzied, yet her fatigue cleared up significantly.
Something to make one keep awake yet not keep hold of their senses.
There. On the small table beside one of the massive bookcases.
Clumps of soil, a viridian leaf, a couple of long pale thorns and dustings of bright yellow fuzz.
Pot-plant residue. And she knew which kind well, she’d once done a paper on it in relation to the disproval of doomsday prophecies seen in Zebrica.
The Cape Sweetthorn. A Zebrican tree which, as a sapling, let off spores at certain seasons. The spores, once breathed in, produced powerful psychoactivity, suggestible hallucinations coupled with insomnia and stupor. The Witch Doctors used it to keep their cults in line and the Ivorium Slavers used it to quell revolts.
One had most definitely been placed on her desk.
And if her theory was correct...
There, just under the doorway. A stain from a drop of something.
Her horn lit up and she magically tested the substance.
A magical image of a yellow-petalled flower with thin, dotted leaves, as if perforated by needles.
She knew the plant too.
Summer Shrinewort.
An antidepressant and an antidote to the psychoactive toxins produced by such plants as the Cape Sweetthorn. The size and shape of the droplet stain indicated being shot out of a bottle when the top was taken off.
Somepony had taken the antidote right before putting the Sweetthorn sapling on her bedroom table. Then acted out a scene enhanced by the hallucinations that kept her awake and senseless.
The leftover residue indicated that it was very recent, barely a night ago in fact.
Twilight tensed herself, propped up a pillow, made sure Owlowiscious was alright, and got to work unravelling Miser’s tapestry of lies and corruption.
Miser must have thought he’d been so clever. Using his old Magpie tactics and hidden influence to manipulate her.
If she was correct...
She cracked a smile.
Oh, it would be so very satisfying making him sorry.
But one question still nagged at the back of her head.
Miser was in prison at the time of her hallucination.
So who was in her room?
It wouldn’t have been the Cutie Mark Crusaders, who the Ghosts of Hearth's Warming Then, Current and Later claimed to take the form of, for reasons unexplained. Their sisters or guardians never let them stay up that late, certainly not on Hearth's Warming’s Eve which required them to stay in bed for the presents under the tree’s sake.
But if not them, who?
*
It was early evening.
In the frosty dusk, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Shining Armour, Night Light and Velvet stared up at the old soup kitchen Twilight had told them about.
They then stared down as the thick wooden boards blocking the door and windows.
Applejack shook her head.
“Oh Hearths Warming...On Hearths gol’dang Warming!”
“You...” There came a sickly wheeze from a nearby alley. The five ponies turned to see a bedraggled-looking mare with sunken cheeks and eyes, lips and hooves cracked by the cold, dirt in her mane and an angry scowl.
“It’s-s-s all your f-f-fault!” she stammered in a sickly state “You and your s-s-stupid, meddling princess!”
“Now, see here...” Night Light started with a scowl of his own but Applejack raised a hood, pacing forward.
“We don’t mean no harm, ma’am. We’re here to find out just what happened here.”
“You all know what happened! Your Princess had the poor house shut down!”
“When?! How?!” Pinkie blurted out.
“You know how!”
“No, we don’t. Else we wouldn’t be asking.” Velvet said plainly “When did this happen, who did it and on whose orders?”
“You know! How can you not know?!” the homeless mare snapped “The state’s been trying to close this place down for years but Miser’s generous donations always kept us going, even when the collectors took nearly everything we had. But when Miser was wrongfully arrested, he vowed to leave Equestria forever! And now there’s nopony left to help us!”
“Apart from just about everypony.” Shining Armour butted in “How come nopony else knows about this? This has never been seen or heard from by anypony in Ponyville or Canterlot, a town and city full of good-hearted generous ponies. Mayor Mare, Fancypants, Filthy Rich, the Princesses, any of them. What’s been going on?”
The homeless mare sighed frustratedly.
“Because Miser didn’t want anypony to know about his donations, remember?!”
There was a pause.
“So...doesn’t that kinda-sorta make it kinda-sorta his fault?” Pinkie asked.
“Never mind that, you said the collectors were taking everything.” Velvet said firmly “That doesn’t happen in Equestria, not on the Princess’s orders anyway. So who does the collecting?”
“Why do you care?”
“Because she does! Now answer her question!” Night Light said gruffly.
The mare gave a step back, blinking several times, as if confused by the state of affairs.
“Bleakhouse.”
“Bleakhouse?! But...” Velvet blurted out “I remember them! My gosh, they’re...It all makes sense!”
“What is it?” Shining asked tentatively.
“We need to get Twilight on the comms. She and her Polyhedricon could get right to the bottom of this in minutes!”
“The bottom of what? What’s Bleakhouse?” Applejack said loudly, losing patience.
“Well...not too long ago...Bleakhouse Repossession Department was a subsidiary of Tox Corporations.”
*
“You’ve got a lot of nerve coming here after what you did to Miser!” A sharp-tongued deputy manager was berating Princess Cadence in the hall of the closing bank “Thanks to you, we lost one of the best bankers Equestria’s ever seen.”
“Weren’t you complaining how horrible he was and how he’d fire ponies who even said the words ‘Hearths Warming’ to him?” Rainbow Dash asked with a raised eyebrow “As early as yesterday?!”
“Don’t change the subject!” the mare in spectacles retorted “That was before we heard about all that was done to him. All he’d done for the poor.”
“All the lies, you mean?”
“Rubbish! Miser knows your sort! You’ll blame anypony but yourself.”
“Ha!” Rarity guffawed sarcastically “Oh that is a hoot coming from him!”
“Everypony calm down!” Cadence declared, bringing Holly Van Hodurheim forward “This doe has important information. Proof that you’ve all been deceived by your former employer. And his predecessor was keeping the truth from you also, though for better intentions.”
“What? This caribou? What business is it of hers?”
Holly retrieved the journal, found the right page and slammed it down on the desk along with the letter Rowan had sent her.
“Here. Golden Heart Bank. Funds keep going missing. Marten Pine noticed and later Rowan noticed. Then both end up dead not long afterwards. And the fever Tinsel, or ‘Twinkle’ as Miser called her, eventually died from was reminiscent of poison that Miser was adept at crafting.”
The deputy manager glanced at the documents, removing her spectacles with unease.
“How...how do I know any of this is real?”
“Is it at least enough for you to consider helping us?” Candence asked “What we need to know is how the vault looks, when it was last opened and who checks it.”
“Uh...well, I don’t go in the vault. But it’s checked regularly. The security agency we have on contract are very thorough.”
“And the name of that agency is?”
“Bleakhouse.”
Cadence and Holly gave each other a knowing glance.
“Could anypony open the vault and confiscate its contents? Apparently, Miser always worked late.”
“Well, yes, but he couldn’t take anything. We’d have noticed things coming out even if we don’t go in there. And besides, he’d need the keys. He has one but to actually take anything from the safes in the vault, he’d need every key for them. The caretaker manages those.”
She gestured to a creaking old stallion with a bent back and rheumy eyes who slowly retrieved a ring of jingling keys.
“I keep ‘em on me at all times. An’ anypony takin’ ‘em signs and records themselves in the log.”
“Miser doesn’t need keys. I already showed you.” Holly said with frustration “He’s a Master Thief and he ran this place behind everypony’s backs.”
The caretaker shuddered and the deputy manager started looking quite ill.
Shaking, she gave her orders.
“Open the vault. Quickly.”
The keys jingled like bells as they opened the gigantic vault. The mighty black doors creaked open with a hellish groan.
Princess Cadence, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, Spike, the deputy manager, the caretaker and Holly Van Hodurheim stood with eyes and mouths open wide.
For a moment, one could have heard the dust settling in the silence.
“It’s gone...” the deputy manager croaked “It’s...Oh my holy Celestia, it’s all gone!”
All around them, the sighs of empty chests and bare safes arranged across shelves that took up the walls, greeted them almost mockingly.
“B-b-b-but how?” the caretaker whimpered, barely keeping on his hooves.
At this Fluttershy spread her wings and glanced at the fine figments of her feathers.
“There’s wind. A draught.” she noticed “Something made another exit.”
“Th-th-that’s not possible, the security would’ve-”
“The security robbed you in the first place!” Holly barked “You’ve all been tricked. They must have covered it up by saying they were adding some security measures. That’s if they didn’t do it while only Miser was about. They were working for him, privately, from the beginning.”
“Here!” Fluttershy’s voice sounded from a high shelf. A primrose-maned, buttercup-yellow head poked out from above and gestured.
“There’s a grate that’s been covering a large opening. It’s got a rubber and mesh lining. It looks like a vacuum shaft. They must have used the ladders down there to funnel all the bits up here.”
“Are you serious?!” the deputy manager shrieked.
“I can have a look.” Spike piped up. Rainbow obligingly picked up the little drake and flew him up to the highest shelf.
“Do be careful, Spikey.” Rarity called up to him. The little dragon gave the ‘okay’ gesture and, with a bit of pushing from Fluttershy, crawled through the open grate and wriggled out the other end. After a moment, his voice called back.
“There’s an airship pad over here! It’s small but pretty well-made! The shaft back here’s next to a fuel pump! The roof’s closed though and there’s no ship in sight!”
Cadence spun round to the deputy manager.
“Is anything connected to the upper bank from that end?”
“Well, Miser said it was the ventilation system. He never bought anything better-working and he didn’t like anypony talking about it.”
“Did you know he had a private airship?”
“Uh...I never saw him outside of work.”
“Did he say where he was leaving?”
“He just said ‘A place where Hearths Warming doesn’t exist’.”
“That doesn’t exactly narrow it down.” Rarity sighed.
“I’m sorry. He...wasn’t the sort of pony you really talked to much.” the deputy manager said apologetically.
Holly Van Hodurheim gave a loud growl of fury and kicked a nearby empty safe, sending a flurry of dust in the air.
“Yavlader!” she shrieked “He could be anywhere by now!”
“Don’t worry. Twilight will get everything we know.” Spike said as he was flown down in Fluttershy’s forehooves “Even without her Polyhedricon, she’ll think of something.”
“Wait, shh...” Rainbow Dash held up a wing for silence, her ears pricking to the sound of an argument. Two stallions.
One sounded like the doorpony they’d met outside.
The other wasn’t anypony they’d met today...but was definitely familiar.
“Wait here...” Rainbow Dash whispered as, panther-like she crept forward, casting her suspicious magenta eyes over towards the door.
“What do you mean he’s not here?!” a whiny, petulant protest was coming from the mouth of a corn-yellow young stallion with an unkempt clay-brown mane and dull-blue eyes, dressed in a grey, hooded coat “He still owes me a lot of money!”
“Sir, I am certain you will find the money in your account if not now then sometime this week.” The doorpony said flatly.
“No, no, he promised bits in hoof! Strictly!”
“That...isn’t the way we work.”
“I want to speak to your boss right now.”
“He’s gone abroad.”
“I don’t care if he’s put on weight!”
“No, sir...abroad. As in overseas.”
“Well when’ll he be back! I have some things to leave with him anyway.” He held up a bag of distinctly odd items. Coat and mane dyes, coloured contact lenses, a filly’s playtime make-up kit and a large red mane-bow very similar to the one Applebloom always wore.
“I mean, I can’t be seen with these things, ponies will think I’m up to something!”
“Are you?”
“Wh...That’s none of your business!” The colt was close to screaming “Listen! I was up all of last night doing what he ordered and if I don’t get what he promised me, I...”
He stopped as he noticed the multicoloured-maned mare standing before him with a look of furious bared-teeth realisation.
“You!” she hissed.
“Wh-wh-what’s she doing here?! No! NO! KEEP HER AWAY!”
The colt tore away from the bank and sped off down the sidewalk, knocking over pedestrians as he ran screaming.
“Dash?! What’s out there?!” Rarity called.
“Back in a second!”
Drawing her forehooves across the frost on the pavement, Rainbow Dash spread her wings, drew back, hooves crackling with energy and bolted forward.
The young stallion had placed about half-a-mile between him and the Bearer of Loyalty by the time she rendered it all insignificant.
Like a brightly-coloured bolt of lightning, the pegasus found her mark.
With a crash, the two ponies connected with each other, her right shoulder to his flanks, and the two rolled across the sidewalk where the civilians had made way for them in the street-wide commotion.
The stallion cartwheeled straight into a lamp-post, bending it slightly and sliding down with a mouthful of snow from its top landing in his mouth.
“My leg!”
Spitting and spluttering, clutching his foreleg, he could do nothing as Rainbow Dash stomped over to him like a centaur and slammed him against the metal.
“Fancy running into you.” she snarled with a menacing, wolfish grin.
“No, no, you can’t do this! You can’t...” the stallion whimpered “Don’t...don’t hurt me!”
“Why not?” the pegasus gave a mocking coo “Don’t want another nice fat cheque for all your troubles? After all, isn’t that what you were here for?”
The stallion’s face furrowed with hate.
“I...I don’t have to explain anything to you!” he spat.
“Wrong answer.” The pegasus lifted him up by the collar and flew him back to where they’d both started running. As Cadence, Rarity, Fluttershy, Spike and Holly flocked outside to watch, Rainbow Dash spun in mid-air and slammed ferociously the stallion upon the paving. He gave a groan and crawled feebly on the ground.
“Dash! Calm yourself!” Cadence ordered with shock “Who is this stallion? What’s he done?”
“Wait...I know him. We all do.” Fluttershy murmured.
Dash dusted her forehooves and chuckled.
“Looks like it really is Hearths Warming, girls! Look what Miser gift-wrapped just for us!”
As the stallion wrestled to get back on his hooves, his coat folded over and they saw a familiar cutie-mark. A stage-light.
“Of course...” Rarity gasped.
Unimposing at first, they remembered the stallion well. A failed actor, a self-interested slacker and an all-round egomaniac who’d made the Bearer’s acquaintance and parted soon after, both on distinctly bad terms, some time ago.
She spoke the name.
“Talon Ted!”
“And the Ghosts of Hearths Warming. Three in one, seasonal offer.” Rainbow Dash laughed, throwing down the bag Talon had been carrying. Along with the filly’s bow-tie, dyes and lenses, there was also a tiny, empty glass bottle and a strange foreign pot plant; a dark-green tree with white thorns and dusty yellow buds.
Applejack shared the laugh.
“At least now we know what ‘offer’ he’d been given before he left.” she declared “The performance of a lifetime. The Hearths Warming Special...Oh Talon Ted...”
She drew him up, muzzle to muzzle, snarling with trepidation.
“You got some ‘splainin’ to do!”
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Glad to hear things are going well for you and nice work. Your "gears", a good joke for me: If a machine goes slow, my father always jokes to "use the crank". Though it's ironic, given back then the crank was very reliable and almost everything was started with it, cars being one of the best examples
9976846
Thanks.
Exactly.
So what did you think of the chapter and characters?
Can you spot two Spongebob references?
9978003
Must have overlooked them, due to to the length but I liked everything. Though, Marten Pine. I could swear I heard that before, but can't remember where
9978009
Oh yeah, I recommended that name on one of the PMs (Though with the names switched).
Still, this is connected to Legendbringer's headcanon so no worries.
Look through. See if you can spot them. One's early on, the other's near the end.
9979421
Okay. And I remember now, it was Lily's dad
9983623
Thanks.
Doesn't bother me. It's an exercise in deconstruction.
9984306
It's alright.
Feel free to put the word out if you think it'll help.
9984443
Up to you, really.
Still, considering it's a deconstruction fic of a certain author's work...
Might be best to just be discreet and see how this pans out.
It describes how interchangeable these characters like Mister Stash of the original are. They are so lazy, hypocritical, and mean-spirited.