Try, Try, Try

by FlutterSky1979

Cupid de Locke

Try, Try, Try

The Autumn moon peered out from behind a curtain of clouds, as a lone Pegasus pony sped through the night sky. The Pegasus was Rainbow Dash, recent inductee into the Wonderbolts and Ponyville's 'favorite flier'. She didn't have any set direction in mind as she flew, she was simply letting her wings think for themselves. Eventually, Dash grew tired of the cool, November air, and decided to seek a temporary shelter.

She soon found herself on the streets of Cloudsdale, her breath lightly fogging up the air ahead of her as she walked. Rainbow followed the familiar streets until she at last reached her destination: a next to empty tavern, by the name of The Tipsy Equine, a spot Dash used to visit often in her younger years.

Dash pushed through the ancient, wooden double doors and looked around. Everything was exactly as she had remembered it. The same decaying wooden furniture, the same powerful scent of body odor and stale beer, the same aging drunks, and the same aging bar tender who, from what Rainbow remembered, had never once asked to see a customer's ID.

As Rainbow walked into the quaint pub, all activity seemed to freeze; suddenly everypony's eyes were on her. With a nervous nod, Dash quickly made her way up to the bar. The bar tender was too busy talking to a regular to get her order, so Dash waited in nervous silence until he could attend to her. However, before she could be served, she was addressed by one of the bar's patrons.

"Rainbow Dash? Is that you?"

Dash whipped around to get a look at the pony that had approached her. He was a light blue coated Pegasus, he had a loose fitting cowboy hat pressed down against his head and wore a pair of dark lensed, aviator shades.

"Uh, do I know you?" Dash asked, tilting her head at the stranger.

"Dude," he whispered, leaning in close and pulling his shades down, his eyes peeking out from over the top.

"It's me!"

Rainbow's eyes widened. Beneath the poorly crafted disguise, was the Wonderbolt's very own Soarin.

"Hey Soarin! What ar-"

He quickly pushed a hoof against her lips, stopping her mid sentence.

"Shh! Ixnay on the amenay," he whispered through gritted teeth.

"Sorry," Dash whispered back, leaning away from his fore hoof.

After quickly glancing around the room to make sure his cover hadn't been blown, Soarin took the empty seat at the bar next to Rainbow Dash.

"So, what's a pretty young mare like you doing in a shithole like this?" Soarin asked, giving a playful grin towards the glaring bar tender.

"Hm, you're one to talk," Dash began, feeling herself relax a bit. "Why are you here?"

"Eh, I'm waiting for a friend... Hey, whatcha drinking? I'll buy you a round!"

Rainbow smiled, looking up at the Senior Wonderbolt. Because of the difference in status, Dash didn't get to see a lot of her higher ranking peers, much less hang out with them. Soarin had always been one of her favorite fliers, she had even had a bit of a crush on him when she was younger. Of course, that was all in the past now, though she couldn't help but to feel a little starstruck in his company.

"I don't know... I was just gonna get a beer, I guess..."

"A beer? Here?! Not on my watch! Old man, get us a couple shots of Wild Turkey, chop chop!"

With a nod, the bar tender turned away from his conversation and went to grab a bottle and a pair of dusty shot glasses from behind the counter.

"You can thank me for saving you from the watered down, piss water that passes for a beer here later."

The bar tender slammed the glasses down onto the counter top so suddenly it caused Soarin to jump, Dash couldn't help but giggle.

"Better watch it, keep talking like that and he's gonna throw you outta here!"

"Who, Thunder Breath?" Soarin asked, throwing an arm around the old bar tender's shoulder as he was trying to pour their drinks.

"Naw, he's a pushover! Old friend, ya know? Besides, he knows it's true!"

Soarin gave him a playful punch to the arm before handing him a mouthful of bits.

"His booze is always good though. Leave the bottle."

Dash looked down at her glass before looking back up at Soarin, she didn't know what to make of the situation.

"I wish I had known that back when I used to come here... I bet I've seen you in here before and didn't even know it!"

Soarin shrugged as he picked up his glass, he threw his head back and finished it in a single, quick gulp.

"Maybe. Believe it or not, ole Thunder is actually Spit's pops."

Dash gasped, taking another long look at their server. Sure enough, he shared Spitfire's golden coat.

"No way..." Dash replied, cautiously sniffing at the liquid in her shot glass.

"Mhm! Now drink up, it's good for you!"

Soarin was filling up his glass again, as Dash brought her glass up to her lips and took a quick sip. As she swallowed, she broke into a fit of harsh coughing.

"Good God! It's like drinking peroxide!" She cried, before succumbing to another series of coughs.

"Correction," Soarin said, taking down his second shot in another quick gulp.

"Smooth peroxide!"

Rainbow groaned, sticking her tongue out in the hopes of cooling down her burning throat.

"Man, I never pictured you as much of a drinker, Soarin. I always pictured you as more of a, 'loves to eat pie', guy..."

Dash pushed her still full glass over to Soarin, not willing to take another drink of the vile stuff.

Soarin groaned, throwing his head back and rolling his eyes as he did so.

"Not this again! Seriously, where did that even start!? I swear to God, you get excited over one pie after a show and suddenly it's all anypony can talk about!"

Rainbow couldn't help but laugh. Soarin may have forgotten, but she remembered exactly how that little rumor had started. After all, that night had only been the second time that she had gotten to hang out with any of the members from the team. And even though it had turned out to be kind of a shitty evening, it had still been pretty cool at the time.

Soarin shrugged, shaking his head as he put the comment out of his mind.

"So, where's Pinkie Pie? I'm surprised to see you out and about without her."

Rainbow's eyes widened. She began to spout off excuses as fast as her mind could make them, trying to cover for her friend's absence.

"What, is she gone? I didn't notice! I mean, c'mon, it's not like she's always around or anything like that! She's just a friend! I have other friends too ya know?! What, is it a crime to go out unaccompanied or something? Me and Pinkie don't even hang out that much, I mean really!"

Dash continued on with more clumsy reasons as to why her and Pinkie weren't together, but Soarin just smiled, placing a hoof on her shoulder.

"Hey, Dash, calm down. You can drop the act, I know."

Dash blinked, caught off guard by Soarin's response.

"You-you do?"

He nodded, picking up Rainbow's unfinished drink and taking a small sip from it.

"I do."

It was early November, and Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were coming up on their three month anniversary. Even after all this time, only their closest friends knew about their relationship. Towards the beginning, they had decided that it would be best to hold off on going public with their romance. They wanted to do everything they could to enjoy their love, without it affecting their careers or public image.

Homosexual relationships were still pretty taboo, after all. Not as taboo as they once were, but it was still a touchy subject and one had to be careful who they were talking to. Pinkie and Rainbow were also both getting to be very well known ponies around their hometown and beyond, and neither one of them wanted anypony thinking any different of them just because they were together.

"Man," Dash groaned, sinking down in her stool. "How did you figure it out? We both worked so hard to keep it under wraps..."

Soarin chuckled, gently patting Rainbow on the back.

"I just happened to notice you guys at the events and stuff. You can try as hard as you want to keep it a secret, but I can spot a relationship from a mile away! Besides... I've been around the block a few times. I may have been in a same sex relationship myself once or twice," he added with an understanding nod.

"R-really?" Dash asked in disbelief.

"Maaaaybe," he winked.

"I respect you guy's efforts to keep it a secret though, and I understand where you're coming from. Rest assured, your secret is safe with me."

Dash gave Soarin a halfhearted grin before looking down at the bar.

"So, where is she, Dash?"

Rainbow Dash was still staring at the bar's counter top, dragging her hoof apprehensively across the surface.

"We-we kinda had a fight, so I went out to get some fresh air..."

"Bummer dude," Soarin began, looking down at the watch on his wrist. "You wanna tell me about it? I've got some time before the pony I'm waiting for gets here."

"I guess..."

Dash was still staring down at the imaginary patterns she was tracing, her pride not allowing her to face Soarin as she recounted the events of the evening.

"It used to be so much easier... Back when we first started dating..."

*****

Of course, when we first started dating, things didn't start out all rainbows and sun-showers. No, initially it took me quite some time before I could convince her to even go out with me! But, that's a story for another time... Long story short, she agreed to go out on a date with me, just as long as I won that race and became a Wonderbolt. Simple right? At least it was for me. I mean, any other time that race probably would have been a bitch, but being head over hooves in love with somepony can be some pretty effective fuel. Hell, you remember, don't you?

The day of the race, there were fifteen of us there, each gunning for that open spot on the team. Some of our nerves were completely shot, some of us were using the pressure to help us win. Me, I couldn't stop thinking about how awesome me and Pinkie's date would be! I couldn't have been less worried about that race, and it couldn't have worked out better for me! It all happened so fast though, the significance of the moment was kinda lost on me. I can't remember just how badly I beat the rest of them, but I know it was pretty damn bad! How many did I lap again? Seven, or nine? That part doesn't really matter anyway, what does matter is that I had earned my chance to be with the mare of my dreams...

All the time I didn't spend stressing over the race, was spent instead freaking out over the date. That date was my chance to make Pinkie fall for me, and I knew everything had to be perfect! You see, neither one of us had ever actually felt attracted to another mare before. I was the first one of us to realize that we had something, this special connection. She was so reluctant at first... That's why our first date had to be perfect! That's why there couldn't be any mistakes! I knew that if I screwed up at all, even the tiniest bit, our first date would become our last...

It wasn't easy either. After all, I'd been on plenty of dates before, but I'd never been the one taking someone out! I had to be the stallion on the date, and then some. If I repeated the same mistakes of her past bad boyfriends, then I too would wind up out in the cold with them. Luckily, I was Pinkie's best gal pal, and I had the advantage of knowing all the things that Pinkie had disliked about those guys. Anyways, after I had cleaned myself up from the race, I went over to Sugar Cube Corner and asked Pinkie out properly.

She was still reluctant to the idea, but she wasn't about to go back on her promise. She did have a condition though, she didn't want anypony else to know that it was an actual date. Pinkie wanted our date to look like a simple evening out with a friend, which was fine with me. Seeing as how I hadn't actually been fully inducted into the team, and didn't know how you guys felt about that sort of thing, I figured it was better to play it safe.

It was only about noon when I asked Pinkie out, which meant that I had another seven hours to wait before she got off work. So, I had time to pick out a fancy place for us to eat at. Now normally it would have been impossible to get reservations to anywhere good on such short notice, but when you've just become a Wonderbolt and you know both Princess Celestia and her favorite student personally, you find yourself faced with certain opportunities most other ponies don't have. I managed to book a table at the most exclusive eating establish in all of Canterlot; the world famous, Une Soiree sur le Vert! They were even gonna let us eat free of charge!

Yep, the day had started out good and was getting even better. I still had time to kill though, so I decided to talk to a few of my other friends and see what ideas they had. Twilight had already helped me book the reservation at the restaurant, so I went to Applejack's place. She was the only one of us that actually had a boyfriend at the time, so I asked her what kind of things her guy, Lavender, did to make her feel special. AJ gave me the rundown and I picked up quite a few tips and junk to help me with Pinkie Pie! One of the things AJ said I should do was give Pinkie a gift. The best sweet shop in Ponyville is Sugar Cube, so that ruled candy out... I had no idea what to get her, until I remembered my friend Fluttershy!

When I first arrived, she was ecstatic! Well... Fluttershy ecstatic anyway, if you knew her than you'd know exactly what I'm talking about. She was so happy that I'd won the race, and even happier that I had stopped by. She wanted me to stay for awhile, so I did. We ended up having a pretty nice afternoon together, but then I told her why I had come and she seemed kinda bummed. I may have just been imagining it though, because she still helped me put together the most bad-ass bouquet of flowers ever! Course, that may have just been her being nice... The point is, I had my gift, and I was almost ready for my date!

My final stop that day was Carousel Boutique, my friend Rarity's dress shop. If I was gonna make a lasting impression, I had to look good! Rarity was just the pony for the job. Even though I explained to her that I was pressed for time, she still took forever; we actually cut it pretty close! But in the end, it proved to be worth it. She hadn't had enough time to whip together an amazing, original dress or anything, but she did still manage to find me some killer duds. She even hooked me up with some pretty sweet perfume.

At last, I was ready for my date. I showed up at Sugar Cube around eight. Pinkie Pie wasn't quite yet ready, so I passed the time with the Cakes and their kids. Pinkie coming down those steps is a sight I'll never forget. I'd seen her all dolled up before, but this time was different. This time I wasn't just looking at her, I was checking her out! She was gorgeous alright... I don't know if Pinkie had said anything to Mr. and Mrs. Cake about the true reason I was there, all I know is that they didn't say anything when I gave her the bouquet. Of course, she thought it was to die for! Already, the evening was off to a good start.

After I picked her up, I walked her to my friend Twilight's house, where we had a personal chariot waiting for us! Like I said, knowing the Princesses personally does have its benefits. So there we were, heading off to one of the most fancy eating establishments in all the land, being chauffeured by Princess Luna's personal guards. Did I say the evening was going pretty well? More like, best night ever! The flight there was pretty great too. Pinkie was so psyched to be in the air! She was even more eager to find out where it was I was taking her, but I was not about to ruin the surprise.

Of course, once we arrived she was so nervous, so worried that she was under dressed and under prepared. I assured her that she looked absolutely stunning, which she did, and we proceeded hoof in hoof past the long line at Une Soiree sur le Vert's entrance and to our table.

Now, I've never been a shy pony or anything, and me and Pinkie have always been on... How do I put it? Similar wave lengths? But that night, I was really on my game! I was witty, I was charming, I was sweet, I was the whole God damn package and then some! I knew that I needed to knock Pinkie dead that night, and that's exactly what I did! I killed! I could go on, but I really can't explain just how amazing that first date was!

Finally, the evening began to draw to a close. At about... I don't know, a quarter to one, Pinkie and I decided to call it a night. I left a generous tip and walked her out to the chariot. It was an unusually cool night for mid August, and we were speeding through the air, so Pinkie stayed pretty close to me on the ride back. As if that wasn't enough, the sky was cloudless and the moon was absolutely breath taking! Luna had really out done herself.

That night, as we stood outside her home, Pinkie thanking me for the wonderful evening, she did something that I never expected her to do; she kissed me! It wasn't anything big, just a peck on the cheek, but coming from somepony who had been so reluctant before hand, it meant the world. After that, she disappeared inside, leaving me alone in the moonlit streets with a goofy grin on my face and a hoof resting against my cheek. I had set out to create the perfect date, and honestly, I couldn't have done a better job, not in a million years!

Hell, I did such a good job, that it didn't even bother me when Pinkie didn't seek me out to make plans again. Even when I saw her, she didn't bring the date up. That was alright with me though, I was busy learning the ropes back at headquarters, and like I said, I had nothing but confidence that our date had been perfect.

I knew that all Pinkie Pie needed was some time to process the whole experience, to really let the evening sink in. So I played it cool, backed off for a couple weeks. I stopped by to visit her occasionally, without being too overbearing, but also doing what I could to let her know that there was a whole lot more fun where that had come from! I waited until two weeks had passed, then I asked her out that Sunday.

Sunday, August thirtieth was the day. I remember because... Well, I remember every single one of our dates! I went kind of the opposite direction for that one though, not as much extravagance and a lot more simplicity. It could have almost not been considered a date at all, but it totally was! We went on a walk around Ponyville, went through the park and stuff. It was simple, and it was beautiful... It only lasted a couple hours, and we didn't kiss or anything like on our first date, but it was exactly the follow up I had been shooting for.

As August came to a close and September began, our courtship was at last beginning to bloom. We saw each other a total of four times in between September and October, I even got a few more kisses... Quite a few more actually! Yet, Pinkie was still reluctant to accept what was happening... The thought of her loving another mare was just something that her mind would not allow her to accept. She just didn't know what to think of it!

I didn't put any pressure on her though, I just continued to let her know that I loved her, and waited for her to work it out in her own sweet time. Finally, on one unforgettable Saturday night in early October, she at last accepted it and officially acknowledged me as her mare-friend. That evening, with the Cakes gone and the twins fast asleep, we made love for the very first time. Well, tried anyways... I won't go into detail or anything, but let's just say that it was our first time and we were still trying to figure out how it worked with just two mares, why did I say that?!

*****

Soarin began to laugh, causing the blushing Dash to stop her story.

"Oh God... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to tell you all that! C-could you just go ahead and forget I ever said that last part!? I-I just got carried away...

Soarin wiped a jolly tear away from the corner of his eye, his other hoof gently grasped on his shot glass.

"It's cool, it's cool. After all, I have seen Pinkie with you on a few occasions, and the thought of you two together isn't exactly what I'd call an unflattering image!"

He broke off into another fit of laughter and Dash sank down lower, resting her head against the bar.

"Oh man, if Pinkie knew I was telling you all this, she'd never forgive me..."

Soarin gave Rainbow a friendly slap on the back.

"There's nothing to worry about, Dash, my lips are sealed!"

Soarin took another sip from the Wild Turkey bottle (having finished Rainbow's drink during her story), and glanced down at his watch.

"Not that I don't enjoy hearing you guy's story, but I don't have a whole lotta time left. Do you mind speeding it up a little? Skip to whatever it is you guys were arguing about?"

Dash straightened herself back up, nodding to him.

"Oh yeah... I guess I got a little sidetracked there, didn't I? Okay... Where was I?"

*****

Alright, so October rolls around and Pinkie and I are finally a full fledged item. After that first night together, we suddenly start spending all this time with each other. We practically see each other every day! Whenever one of us isn't busy with work or something, we're hanging out. At first, I thought it was the greatest thing ever! But then... Well, I started to notice something I've never noticed about Pinkie before...

She's kind of a flirt... Maybe not a flirt, but she's really... Oblivious? See, she's the type of pony that knows no strangers, and very rarely looks at her actions for anything more than face value. For instance, when she's talking to a group of stallions that are eyeing her like she's a God damn piece of meat, and I try and tell her that their thoughts aren't exactly pure, and she just doesn't get it!

I tried not to be a dick about it and just ignore it, but after awhile it's gotten tough... Like, when we go to the club or something and I turn my back for half a second and she's dancing with some baseball cap wearing prick... Or when I take her as my plus one to the Wonderbolt events, and she starts talking to some horny asshole who's trying to get her to go back to his hotel room with him! And it's not like it's a one time thing, no, that I could deal with! This shit happens, every. Single. Fucking. Time. We got out! A girl can only take so much!

When I try to tell her how much it bothers me, she starts to tell me that she's just trying to be friendly, or that she can't help it, it's in her nature to be outgoing, or, my favorite, that she's just acting like she always has. And it doesn't help that she's not saying anything about us being a couple. I can't even be mad at the guys hitting on her, because they have no idea that she's taken!

I'm sure that she's telling the truth and that she's always been so, uh... Friendly towards the boys, but I've never noticed it until now... Anyways, today we were out and some douche bag was hitting on her like no other. I tried to give him the hint that we didn't want him around, but as usual, Pinkie wasn't saying anything and just talking to the guy. I watched him hit on my woman for nearly an hour, and then just couldn't take it anymore! I exploded on the poor bastard and told him to scram. I may have made a bit of a scene...

Once we got home, I tried to explain myself to Pinkie, but there's just no reasoning with her! I don't know... Maybe it's just me... But I'm getting pretty sick and tired of fighting off suitors, while she giggles and bats her eyelashes at them. We had our first fight today, and now I'm worried... Maybe I was wrong about us... Maybe I made a mistake... I just don't know anymore...

*****

At last, Rainbow had finished her story. For awhile, neither she nor Soarin said a word. Finally, Soarin spoke up.

"Rainbow... It's obvious that you guys have some issues, but it also sounds like you two do care about each other a lot."

Dash shrugged, gazing off into the distance.

"Yeah, it seems like I'm putting out a lot more effort to show it though..."

Soarin pondered this a moment, scratching his chin as he thought. Finally, he offered another bit of wisdom.

"I'm sure it seems that way, but you gotta think, Dash. Pinkie Pie did choose to love you, even though she wasn't born with the desire to be with mares. That's not something she had to do, and that's not something most ponies would do. Best friend or not, switching teams is a huge leap. Don't take that for granted."

Rainbow nodded, reflecting on what Soarin had said.

"No relationship is perfect, they all take work. How long did you say you guys have been going out, three months? See, that's no time at all! It's way too early to think about throwing in the towel. I think you should go home, sit Pinkie down, and really talk to her about what's upsetting you. You also may wanna check on your jealously too, Dash. I'm sure it's not all Pinkie."

Dash rolled her eyes, scoffing at Soarin's remark.

"Me? Have you even heard a word I've said?! I'm not doing anything!"

"Hey, do you want my help, or not?"

Dash nodded, sinking back down in her seat.

"I do... But, just how good is your advice? Do you even have a special somepony right now? Since I've been in the Wonderbolts, I haven't seen you with anypony..."

Soarin simply smiled, shaking his head.

"The less you know, Dash, the less you know... Seriously though, listen to what I'm saying, I wouldn't steer you wrong! Go home, Rainbow Dash. Go home and talk to your girl. Don't just talk though, listen. I promise you it'll work. Think about it, you worked so hard to be with her, why give it up over something stupid like this? You guys have too bright of a future ahead of you to just let it fall apart and die."

Rainbow Dash smiled, her eyes not leaving Soarin's.

"You're right... You're right! Our relationship's only just begun, there's no way I'm gonna let it end now! I'm gonna go home, and I'm gonna make this better!"

Dash sprung up from the bar stool, looking over her shoulder to face Soarin one last time.

"Thanks, Soarin! You're a real pal, you know that?"

Soarin nodded and raised his glass to Dash as she sped out of the bar.

"God speed, my friend."

As Dash zoomed out of The Tipsy Equine, she nearly knocked over a peculiarly dressed mare who was walking through the door.

After the mare dodged Rainbow Dash, she walked over to the bar. She took the now empty seat next to Soarin, the one Dash had been sitting at. She looked back at the door again before turning towards Soarin.

"Sundress huh? Never thought I'd seen you in one of those. It doesn't match the glasses, by the way," Soarin said to her.

"You're one to talk, a cowboy hat? Really? You look ridiculous! Was that Rainbow Dash I saw leaving?"

"It certainly was."

"Huh... What was she doing here? Hey daddy," The mare smiled at the bartender as he passed them by.

"Oh, you know, trouble at the ole homestead. It's all good though, I helped get her through it."

Soarin went to take another swig from his whiskey bottle, but his mare-friend put her hoof on his arm.

"That's quite enough of that. I'm gonna need you sober for what I've got planned tonight," She winked at him.

"Ohhhh really?" He smirked, putting down the bottle.

"Please, lead the way, madame."

He extended his hoof to her and she rolled her eyes. Chuckling as she left her seat.

"You're a dork. I love you."

"I love you too, babe."

Together, they left the bar and walked hoof in hoof into the moonlit streets.

Comments

[redactedandredacted]

Genius! You've highlighted one of the primary issues with Pinkiedash. Also, you write Dash really well. It's super honest, cheesy at times, and always excited.

In the future, I would avoid switching from 3rd to 1st person like that. There's nothing wrong with putting those big long paragraphs in quotes. Plus taking breaks from time to time, describing Soarin's reaction and what's going on in the bar, it's helpful to keep it from getting tiring. You had the one break where Soarin laughs at her, but a few more at well-picked spots would liven this piece up a bit.

As for the more technical stuff:
Prose and descriptions: 8.0 - Your writing isn't super elaborate, but taking into account the fact that you're only 15 (or possibly 16), this is an informal story involving a whole lot o' Dash, it's probably the best I could ask for. Sometimes when Dash was storytelling I felt like some important details were left out, but that's Dash I guess.

Pace: 6.5 - This is always hard for amateur writers - I know because I am one. Drawing out important scenes and being concise about things that don't matter is a very important thing in a story's overall quality. I would have liked to hear more about Pinkie and Dash's dates. I would have liked to hear less of Dash talking about how awesome it all was. (Again, this is skewed because of the manner you chose to tell the story in - through Dash herself. Since it's in her voice, things like "itwasallsoawesomeicantevenbegintodescribe" are to be expected, but as a writer you need to make the decision sometimes to limit your character's thoughts and the amount that they flow into the prose.

Dialogue: 9 - Nothing to complain about here. You nailed Soarin (or at least my perception of him) and the main conversation felt perfectly organic. Just like the real characters were talking in the show (if the show was all about homo relationships xD).

(all scores out of 10)

Keep writing, friend. You're a sight above average already, and you can only get better.

[FlutterSky1979]

1185015
Thank you so much for the super sweet review! I really appreciate your honesty :)
I agree, my pace is pretty terrible at times (both here and at times in my previous story) but my main point was not to put as much emphasis on the pros of the romance, and more on the cons; if that makes sense. The majority of the PinkieXDash fanfics I've read (actually, most shipping fics) is that the writers only wanna focus on the how great the relationship is and never spend any time on the downsides. As Soarin said, no relationship is perfect. And my interpretation has always been that Pinkie Pie is a very attention grabbing pony, and Rainbow Dash is a pony that gets upset when the spotlight is pulled away from her. Anyways, the point here was to setup the story's start, showing that their love isn't perfect. The next couple of chapters will be a lot more lovey and sweet ^_^
Thanks again for the read and the review

[redactedandredacted]

No problem, that's why I'm on this website really! You're right about how a lot of shippers want to create a story that just makes everyone feel really good about that particular ship. An emphasis on struggle always makes things more interesting. That's like, the very first thing you learn in Language classes in school. Story revolves around conflict.

Also your understanding of the Pinkiedash dynamic is super accurate in my humble opinion. It's basically an established fact that when Dash loves something (or someone), she becomes more or less obsessed with it.

I kinda thought that this was a one-shot! But if you're writing more then that's great. Writing is good. I felt like this story had closure, but then again, so does almost every episode of Friendship is Magic. Then we start again with a new problem, go through the motions once again, rinse and repeat. It's the execution that's important, as everyone says.

I'm definitely tracking this.