Grasshopper Pie

by brokenimage321

Chapter 6

“Fun! Fun! Fun!” came the echoing cry, from fifty identical mouths.

Actually, forty-nine, to be exact.

Twilight shot a wary glance through the curtains of the library at the chaos outside, then turned back to the others.

“So you’re telling us that there’s a magical… mirror pool in the forest?” Twilight said carefully.

“Uh-huh,” Grasshopper said urgently.

“And that you used it to make another one of you, so the two of you could have more fun?” she continued.

“Such a waste,” Rarity said, half to herself. “With all the sewing I need to do, I could always use a couple extra hooves, but she doesn’t want to miss a party and—”

Twilight shot her a dirty look.

“What should we do?” Twilight asked Grasshopper.

At that second, a shriek came from outside. All of them crowded close to the windows: it seemed like three or four of the Pinkies had nearly bowled over Roseluck in their enthusiasm, and were now bounding off for new adventures, leaving cries of “Fun! Fun! Fun!” on the wind.

Grasshopper swallowed nervously. “I dunno,” she managed, in the most Pinkie-Pie voice she could muster. “Aren’t you the pony who comes up with all the good ideas?”

Twilight somehow managed to look both insulted and pleased at once. “Well…” she said slowly, “the first thing we need to do is to find the real one, wherever she is.”

“I’m real,” Grasshopper piped up. As real as any of the rest, she added silently.

Applejack rolled her eyes. “We know you think you’re real,” she said. “But we gotta be sure you’re the real real Pinkie.”

“But I am,” Grasshopper whined.

Twilight tapped her chin with her hoof thoughtfully. “What if we set up a test?” she asked aloud. “Like… we could come up with the most boring thing we could think of, then see which of the Pinkies can sit through it?”

Rainbow Dash nodded. “Sounds good,” she said.

“Of course,” Twilight continued, “what would we do with the rest of them…?” She raised one eyebrow. “Maybe I should just blast them, make sure they don’t come back…”

Fluttershy gasped, and Grasshopper leapt forward.

“Nononono,” she insisted, even as her gut turned to ice, “don’t do that—they’re harmless….”

From outside, came a fresh batch of panicked screams, and, of course, the chant of “Fun! Fun! Fun!”

Grasshopper cringed, and Twilight frowned at her.

Hops counted to three, then plastered a shining smile on her face and looked up at Twilight.

“We don’t want to do that,” she said. “Too much effort! Besides, cooping all of them up in one place… can you imagine?”

Twilight’s eye twitched, and she shot a reflexive look out the window.

“Exactly,” Grasshopper continued. “So what we should do instead is…” Grasshopper looked furtively around the library, searching for an answer. “...is...um…”

And then she saw it, sitting on top of a small pile of books at the foals’ table: an illustrated copy of The Pied Piper of Hanover.

“Quick!” Grasshopper blurted. “I need a trombone! And an accordion! And a tuba!!”

Her sudden energy made the others jump.

“Darling,” Rarity said, “whatever has gotten into you?”

“I know how to stop them!” she cried. “If I can play them some music, then I can lead them back to the pool! And then I can use another one of Granny Pie’s rhymes to make them all go away!!”

Applejack frowned. “Didn’t you try that with those parasprites a while back?”

“Enh,” Grasshopper said with a dismissive wave. “They’re pink and fluffy, I’m pink and fluffy, it’s all the same.” She looked around at the others, staring back at her in mixed surprise and confusion. “Go!” Grasshopper barked. “We don’t have all day!”

Twilight looked around herself. “As good an idea as any,” she said, giving Grasshopper an uneasy look. “Let’s go find those instruments… and, heck, maybe even a band to go with them…”

“Yeah!” Grasshopper added. “And bring ‘em back here! I’ll stay here, hold down the fort and all that.”

Grasshopper smiled brightly as, one by one, the other ponies filed out. As soon as Twilight closed the door behind her, Grasshopper let out a long, slow sigh.

“How’d I do, Mama?” she asked, into the sudden quiet of the library.

That was incredible, Hops, came the reply. Sorry I couldn’t help--I have my hooves full coordinating everyone else.

“It’s okay,” she replied. “I think it worked out.”

Me too, Mama said, with a sigh of relief. I’ll pass the message along: when they see you parading through town, fall in line, and follow you out to the woods.

“Thanks, Mama,” Grasshopper said. She smiled to herself, then looked around the library. “Now I just have to figure out how I’m supposed to play a trombone and a trumpet at the same time…”

That’s my Hops, Mama said fondly. Don’t worry about the instruments--I think we have someone else in the Hive who can play them. For now, just sit back and rest a little--you deserve it.

And with that, the slight pressure of Mama’s presence on her mind faded away. Grasshopper let out a heavy sigh, then lowered herself to the floor.

* * *

“Fun! Fun! Fun!”

Grasshopper bounced through the forest with the rest of the Pinkies, chanting in time with the others. Even though she was at the very end of the line, she should still hear her sister Gryllus--who, as it turned out, at least knew what end of a brass instrument to blow into--was leading the line with a tune of her own designing. Mama had called her back to the library, and the two of them had switched places while no one else was looking.

Twilight and her friends paced alongside the line, watching with more than a little trepidation. Grasshopper felt the corners of her mouth twitch into a smile, even as she was mid-chant: her crazy, stupid plan had worked. The goal was, in so many words, to be peak Pinkie--and, by all accounts, they were buying it hook, line, and sinker.

Eventually, the line ahead of Grasshopper stopped moving, and she, like the others, just started hopping in place, still chanting:

“Fun! Fun! Fun!”

Ever so faintly, Grasshopper could hear Twilight ask the question:

“This is the right spot?”

Gryllus kept on playing. Presumably, she had answered with a nod, because, after a pause, Twilight continued:

“And you know how to turn them all back?

Another pause.

“Are you sure you don’t need help?” she asked. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just… I feel like we need to make sure this is done right.”

Yet another pause.

“Well,” Twilight said uncertainly, “I guess we’ll wait here for you to finish, then we’ll seal the tunnel.” She hesitated a half-second. “Try and be quick,” she added. “This place gives me the creeps…”

Again, Grasshopper couldn’t hear the reply. But, after a moment, the music dimmed, and the line started moving again. Gryllus had apparently gone underground, and the others were starting to follow her. Grasshopper bounced forward with the rest of the Pinkies, and, eventually, the entrance to the “mirror cave” drew into sight--in reality, the back entrance to the hive.

Grasshopper stopped at the threshold, waiting for the Pinkie in front of her to clear out of the way. As she hopped in place, she risked a glance around her--and saw, once again, the faces of the friends that didn’t suspect a thing.

It was almost enough to make her want to break out into song.

Grasshopper noticed, with a jolt, that she had been hopping in place for several seconds, and that the line of Pinkies had vanished deeper into the cave. She let out an involuntary nervous giggle, waved to the assembled friends watching her, then hopped in the hole.

Grasshopper kept up the hopping and the chanting until after she passed the pinch in the tunnel. Only then did she let her tired legs rest, though she kept up the fun-fun-fun chant for a few more steps for the benefit of anyone who might still be listening.

As the tunnel began to widen again, Hops’s ears pricked up. Ahead, she could hear the warm, familiar murmur of the hive that she had so looked forward to for her entire life. It was a warm sound--a happy sound--a home sound. So different than the screaming of a few hours ago.

Grasshopper emerged, blinking, into the light of the hive’s central cavern--and the air erupted into applause. Hops blinked and looked around, and saw every changeling in the hive clapping their hooves together, hooting and hollering and cheering and chirping, in the way only a hive of changelings could. Grasshopper took a half-step backwards in surprise--then her face broke into a wide grin.

“Alright everybuggy, that’s enough,” called Mama, as she made her way through the crowd towards Grasshopper. The applause died down almost immediately. “Those ponies are still waiting outside, and we don’t want ‘em to hear us. I’ll head out and send them away, and we can go from there.”

Grasshopper turned and started walking towards the sleeping caverns--after today, there was nothing she wanted more than a nap. But before she could get far, Mama pulled her in for a hug.

“Thank you,” she whispered in her ear. “It’s a shame you were born a worker--you would have made an excellent Queen.”

And before she could respond, Mama slipped away from her, down the exit tunnel behind her. Grasshopper turned to watch her go, but found she couldn’t speak. She sniffled once or twice, then dabbed at her eyes, before she felt the presence of those standing just behind her. She turned and saw Danni, and Poppy, and Luke standing there, watching her with smiles on their faces.

“Doing alright?” Danni asked.

Grasshopper sniffled again, then nodded.

Luke stepped forward and took her in for a hug. Grasshopper let out a little gasp, then hugged him back. Another second or two, and Danni and Poppy joined in, each squeezing her tight.

Comments

[GemiNiah]

Awwww...imagining Pinkie’s hugging each other is just adorable!!

[FanOfMostEverything]

Applejack frowned. “Didn’t you try that with those parasprites a while back?”

"It worked, didn't it?"

Heh. Makes sense that the changeling named after a genus of cricket would have some degree of Grasshopper's musical talent.

In any case, this crisis is resolved... but I do have to wonder what the lasting damage might be.

[AdmiralTigerclaw]

9949876

Probably put Hops in charge of the new CBC (Cover Break Contingencies).

They can't keep using the same excuse EVERY time someone blows cover.

[Darkartsdoctor]

On the one hand I love the constant updates. On the other every time I finish one my brain just goes

Also I understand that this is Hops' story but part of me would like a chapter of Mama talking to her old friend. Being the element of laughter and all she's no doubt known the main six the longest and I just hope there's a part where she addresses her friends and maybe introduces them to her family. Later I mean. After this scare I doubt she'd be in any sort of mood to talk to her friends about the whole being a changeling thing.

[GIULIO]

Good thing that they managed to convince Twilight and Co. to allow the Pinkie's to resolve the problem. Otherwise, had Twilight used the same solution as in the episode...

Well, let's just say that it's just as well that it didn't happen like in the episode.

[Comickook]

Excellent alteration to the "Solution" to the "Too Many Pinkie Pies" problem. Yeah, it's a good thing Grasshopper knows the rest of the Mane 6 so well AND is really good at thinking on her hooves.

At any rate, really good job on the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up in all the right places.

[lebowski42]

They got very lucky , Twilight is known to be ruthless.

[Herald of Opera]

9950465
I have her confronted about the specific canon incident in question due to a slip-up involving a be-hatted clone we're all familiar with, and what finally breaks her resolve is the implications of the following line: "How eloquent were you on the day you were born?"