• Member Since 30th Jan, 2019
  • offline last seen January 6th

Ablegabriel


If I cold begin to be half of what you think of me I could do about anything I could even learn how to love like you.

Comments ( 165 )

Great work can’t wait for the next chapter

"AJ, what are you.....oooooh that feels goooood~" She moaned.

Ten minutes later, the sore ache was gone from her hooves.

"Wow Applejack, thank you!" She said, amazed that her friend did that for her.

'Wait a minute, can I...'

"Aj." Rainbow Dash said. Applejack shot up and stood at a ready position, ready to do anything.


An ellipsis is three dots, not four, not two, and five is right out.

A twiddle is not punctuation for informal writing. If you want to convey something is said in a particular way, describe it.

Generally, saidisms like moaned, groaned, hissed, and whined are really bad, as they convey wordless vocalizations and not actual words. If someone moans, try to describe how they're moaning.

sore ache is a tautology.

When using dialogue tagging with said, you should not capitalize the start of the tag—it is a continuance of the dialogue's sentence.

When a sentence is cut off sharply (particularly by someone else talking), use an em dash . Ellipses are used for a slow trailing off of speech.

When said tagging, the quoted content must finish with anything but a period.

Never include two actors in the same paragraph (except for very advanced situations involving first person).


Keep going!

Also em dash = alt + 0151. Good to remember.

9801084
I'm sorry, I just copypasted what you said into my "how to grammar" folder for future reference. Good stuff.

9801084
Who disliked this XD I found this useful and liked it myself!

9802284 Maybe someone didn't like my Monty Python joke? I dunno. Keep up the writing though!

9801084
I would like to raise an objection on the grounds that you can definitely whine/hiss/moan words. Those are acceptable ways of describing dialogue, assuming they are actually accurate, of course.

Where the new chapter?

9806083
Omg so sorry. I think I double tapped publish and accidentally unpublished it. It's out now. Sorry.

I just had a weird idea. Rainbow tries to control Derpy, but because of her eyes, can't get good enough eye-contact. Mybe, if you ever decide to take this in a more serious direction, you can use that as a starting point.

9816345
I have like, a lot of this story typed out,just not converted into story. I already did Derpy. Just haven't posted it.

9816379
Well, like I said, it was just an idea. I didn't figure you'd use it anyway. Besides, this story seems a little too light-hearted to use something so serious. Though it still might have made a decent one-off gag.

nice work on both chapters:twilightsmile::pinkiehappy: look forward to a new chapter of thank you mistrees

I noticed you al are weird. So am I sense I’m reading this.

9821734
Thanks for reading, but Im afraid I don't understand what you're saying...

9821769
Then you understand all you need to.

"Once you start feeling hungry when you look at ponies, you'll have an Alicorn digestive system. That's usually the first thing to convert from when somepony is gifted an Alicorn cock."

O-oh no... that sounds... familiar. c-cant be related to th-that... Oh no...
Anyway yeah, I forgot the fic I am trying to recall, but interesting to say the least. I'll keep reading despite my mixed emotions about vore and the sense it will be coming soon.
(edit) I recall now the 'Needs of an Alicorn' fic is where I get the feeling from!

9824894
If you don't like brutal murder, let me know because there will be a chapter with VERY brutal stuff. I need to make warnings about them.

Uh. Nopony is finding Rainbow and Derpy leading two ponies around by leashes weird? Are there no witnesses?

9826700
Nope no one cares. Equestria is a fuck crazed society anyways have you seen all the bedroom eyes in the show?

9826769
I was making a joke at all the sexual looks ponies give in the show.

nice work. looking forward to the next chapter of thank you mistress.:twilightsmile:

9827314
It's under construction

9827486
good looking forward to it

I want to read The Sun Goddess's Toys :heart::trollestia:

9838586
Me Too. Maybe I'll make a story someday!

Great work can’t wait for the next chapter

Great work keep it up

Great work can’t wait for the next update

"I can fly! I can finally fly! I can fly!" She said, tears streaming down her face.

Quiet down Peter Pan.

nice work on both chapters and looking forward to a new page of thankyou misstres:twilightsmile:

Is this mean that Spike will show up in the story and have his own sex salves or something? And what about the good stallions of Ponyville?

9847682
No clue what I'm doing with spike. Most likely he's already a subby boi for smolder and ember

9847682
As co-author, I can say this without spoiling anything major:
The good stallions of Ponyville will be rewarded for their behavior.

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