• Member Since 7th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen 55 minutes ago

axxuy


I've got ponies on the brain.

T
Source

Sunset Shimmer's life is great. She's starting her career, she has her beautiful girlfriend Rainbow Dash by her side, nothing can go wrong. Until Equestria comes calling again.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 16 )

You had me right up until Twilight fucked over the mirror portal because "Fuck you good reasons. That's why." Is all I got from her rambling.

Then you lost the good I was giving it. I did finish it at least.

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I mean, it's not as if her excuses make Sunset feel any better.

this was really well done. i loved it. i feel bad for Sunset tho

Oh god. That hurt. This was awesome. I seriously ship Sunset and Rainbow and... ugh. I hate and love this story at the same time.

This was a very interesting delve into consequences and the internal psyche of a character affected by a deep emotional distress. The strength of this fic is definitely Sunset herself, and how she can't cope with the lost of not only Rainbow, but the human world in general. It feels like the first chapter to a longer fic about coming to terms with loss, and I would actually encourage you to continue that way if you feel it could be interesting.

The way you had TwiDash be a thing in Equestria proper (of course, TwiDash will always reign supreme) works in the story's favour too, because now Sunset needs to deal with not only the fact that she lost her girlfriend-and-soon-to-be-wife, but the fact that her Equestrian counterpart is in a relationship with her newfound nemesis. This could be the origin of severe conflict, and something worth exploring.

All in all this is pretty gut-wrenching. Losing one's home and loved ones permanently is a dark topic.

If a sequel gets made; let's hope that there will be a happy ending. I feel bad for Sundet Shimmer and EQG Rainbow Dash. Perhaps a story from EQG Rainbow's perspective would be interesting. Great/Sad story.

axxuy #7 · Sep 15th, 2019 · · 1 ·

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Compliments don't come much higher than that. Thank you.

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There isn't going to be a sequel to this. I don't know what the rest of Sunset's story is. She's broken, and there's no saying how or if she'll put herself back together. I do have some idea's for Rainbow, I might do a bonus chapter.

considering equestrian magic has been in the human world for over a 1000 years i fail to see why it would suddenly be a problem now

hell actual rips in reality where created in friendship games and super easy to fix with a bit of friendship magic

this all felt like forced cheap drama

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Well technically there was more and more magic being thrown through the mirror into the other world. 1000 years ago the mirror was created and the sirens were sent through it and then a thousand years later suddenly you've got magic going through multiple ponies passing through the mirror being used over and over and that probably put a strain on the portal resulting in something going wrong. It would be the equivalent of a drought, it stops raining in an area (that's the introduction of the portal between the two worlds) and as time passes it dries out more and more until a single ember (Sunset using the mirror 1000 years later) starts a fire and it starts to slowly burn through the forest (the beginning of the magic growing out of control) as the fire (magic) gains more momentum the more it eats (the more Twilight uses it) eventually the fire gets out of control where you can't stop it. Or on terms with the story the portal causes some sort of destructive implosion between the two worlds. The drama was there you just have to think in long-term rather than short-term.

So many emotions in just one story, I don't know what to feel about it...

I truly enjoyed this. How you went about and explored Sunset's visceral reaction to her internal struggle and the mental whiplash that came about as she tried to deal with the aftermath and ending in such a depressing note.

It was so raw, which just added to the pain that Sunset was going through.

On a sidenote, I'm surprised Rainbow didn't go ahead and give Twilight a letter. I feel she would have predicted some sort of retaliation.

Maybe something for her to struggle with in the bonus chapter?

Twilight, honesty is one of the cornerstones of friendship. You already had EQG Rainbow and Twilight on your side so why not have them try to help talk to Sunset. Instead of tricking her let her say goodbye to the rest of her friends. Do the rest of her friends even know what was going on?
All I know right now is that Sunset is perfectly justified in disowning Twilight because she absolutely destroyed Sunset's life.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

All her friends were gone; she would never see them again. Did the “Princess of Friendship” understand that?

This is one of the least satisfying stories I have ever read, and this line gets at just why.

I can see myself in Princess Twilight's place, and making the same, very hard decision. It was too important to leave to Sunset to decide. Good development of a very tough scenario.

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