Prologue: Canterlot Vs Dimmsdale (Part 2)-Edited By Firestorm808.
"What kind of name is Canterlot?" mused Timmy while he waited at the bus stop. Meanwhile, Vicky read a magazine a few feet away, paying him little mind.
"Canterlot was founded by a horse breeder who was also a fan of King Arthur," answered Cosmo as a pen.
Timmy looked at him in confusion. "Cosmo, you know about it?"
Cosmo smiled. "Nope. I'm reading their brochure."
As a pink pen, Wanda glanced at the brochure and awed. "Look, Canterlot High used to be that man's mansion. It's almost as old as California itself."
"Who cares about some dumb school," scoffed Cosmo. “Look at that awesome trash can, Wanda! Look at it!"
The bus pulled up, and Vicky entered first. Teenagers from Dimmsdale High filled the seats. The pair neared the back with Vicky taking one of the last empty benches.
Timmy tried to sit next to her, only to be blocked by Vicky. "What now?" he groaned.
Vicky proceeded to lay on the entire bench. “I need my legroom".
"Then where am I supposed to sit?" Timmy protested.
"Find somewhere else." Vicky kicked Timmy into the aisle. “Try the back with all the other losers!"
Timmy sighed and continued the back of the bus, seeing only one space available.
Next to it was a girl with red and purple hair and glasses in a black hoodie. She was staring out the window with a tired expression.
With no other options, Timmy sat next to her.
Noticing him, the girl seemed to shy away.
Hoping to make a positive impression, he tried to be friendly. "Hi, I'm Timmy. What’s your name?"
Unfortunately, she continued avoiding his direction.
Timmy grumbled. ‘Great… She already thinks I'm a loser, just like everyone else."
Meanwhile, the teen, Moondancer, thought the same. "Why didn’t you answer him? Now, he probably thinks you’re a jerk."
Wanda observed the interaction with concern. "Timmy can’t seem to catch a break," She thought.
In contrast, Cosmo was in his own world. "Meow meow meow meow meow meow."
With everyone seated, the bus drove down the freeway to their destination. During that time, Timmy and Moondancer bounced uncomfortably with every pothole and speed bump. It didn’t take long for them to be on the verge of motion sickness.
When the group pulled up to Canterlot High, Timmy and Vicky were among the last ones to get off. Timmy was on the verge of vomiting.
Seeing the young boy still ill, Vicky rolled her eyes. “Oh, suck it up, Twerp. They'll be plenty of food for the team and us."
Hearing that, Timmy took a deep breath to settle himself.
As they approached the school, a woman with a clipboard walked up to them. She was a head taller than Vicky, had cherry-pink hair with lighter pink highlights, and wore a white blouse, a brown vest, a green skirt, and brown boots.
"Excuse me," she inquired, "I’m looking for a Miss Vicky Valentine."
Vicky plastered a smile on her face. "That's me."
"I'm Miss Cheerilee. You must be our volunteer."
"I'm happy to help out," the pony-tailed girl lied.
Cheerilee smiled. "That's wonderful. Doesn't it feel good to volunteer and help your school."
"You have no idea."
"Now," Cheerilee began but looked down and saw Timmy. "Oh. Who are you, young man?" she cooed.
Vicky answered before he could. "This is Timmy, or as I call him: My Best Helping Buddy." Vicky squeezed him into a tight hug to sell the image of being a loving babysitter.
"Aww, you do care about him," Cheerilee cooed again.
Vicky squeezed harder. "Yes, I do. Isn't that right, best buddy?”
"Too tight," Timmy went blue from the lack of oxygen.
"Anyways, let's get to work." Cheerilee looked around. "By the way, have you two seen someone named Moondancer? She's supposed to be our AV-,"
"That's me," a quiet voice spoke.
Cheerilee, Vicky, and Timmy turned and saw a hooded girl approach them.
"Okay, then." Cheerilee was mildly concerned with Moondancer's forlorn expression but put it off for later. “Let's go."
When the group reached the AV room, Moondancer ran in and slammed the door shut.
Timmy huffed. "What's her problem?"
"As I said before, she's one of the losers," Vicky whispered spitefully under her breath.
Cheerilee and the two entered the gym as the other Canterlot students were working. "We needed all the help we could get. Hosting a basketball tournament is a big job. We've got streamers to put up, bleachers to set up, and snacks to make.”
Timmy looked at all the teenagers in wonder. Despite the hard work they were doing, everyone in the school seemed to be enjoying themselves, laughing at each other's jokes, and having fun. "This might be fun.“ He smiled. "So, what are we working on, Miss Cheerilee?"
"The most important thing of all," Cheerilee said happily.
Instead of being in the warm and lively gymnasium, Vicky, Timmy, and Cheerilee all were in a dingy, wet, empty, and dim loading dock in the back of the building. They saw a parked truck filled with heavy boxes.
"You two will be unloading all these important documents from the truck to the back door," Cheerilee instructed.
"We have to move all of them?!" exclaimed Timmy in dismay.
Cheerilee shook her head. "Don't worry. As long as you two work together, you two can do anything. Friendship can conquer all." Finished, the woman walked away to take care of other business.
Vicky sneered in the direction of Miss Cheerilee. "Blech! What a load of crock. Anyways, get to work, twerp."
"You can’t seriously think I can finish this on my own without your help?
"I am helping." Vicky pulled out a magazine and leaned against a wall. "I’m supervising."
Timmy grumbled and climbed into the truck trailer. As much as he tried, Timmy couldn't even budge the boxes. Timmy's eyes widened when he came up with an idea. "Vicky, why don't you go watch the game while I work?"
Vicky scoffed. "I don't care about some dumb game. It’s more fun to watch you struggle."
Hearing that, Timmy sighed in defeat.
The Gym
Principal Celestia stood in the middle of the basketball court holding a microphone. "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to CHS-Dimmsdale basketball tournament. Before we begin our game, we'll begin our opening show, with our respective school's cheerleading squad and school band. Sit back and enjoy the show.”
NOTE: The tune is similar to I'm On a Yacht.
Dimmsdale High School Cheerleaders
D to the I to the M to the M to the S,
Dimmsdale High School is the best,
We're fast. We’re strong,
You think you can beat us,
You're wrong
Canterlot High School Cheerleaders
You think you can win,
You people are dim,
We're Canterlot,
we love a lot
You're cruel, your mean
We're all one team
You may be gruff
But we're still tough
Dimmsdale Head Cheerleader
So what if we're cruel,
What matters is that we rule,
Who cares about nice
Who cares about right
Tonight, you'll get schooled,
You’re a school of fools.
Pinkie Pie as a Cheerleader
We may be nice,
But we're also cool,
Like a tasty sundae at the pool,
You may win the day,
But I'm here to say,
Friends are great,
There's no other way.
Dimmsdale High School Band
We fight for glory,
We fight for what we want,
Get out of our way,
We'll kick your butts,
We are Dimmsdale High,
You're all just runts.
Rainbooms
Who cares if we're runts,
We're all together,
When we unite
The outcome is better
Even we go down
We'll eventually rise
Because we have
Our friends on our side.
Outside
"I've got to go to the bathroom," Vicky got up from her box and walked away, leaving her magazine behind. "Don't go anywhere."
Timmy sighed in relief. He heard the faint sound of music from the auditorium, and he only managed to carry one box a quarter of the way. "Finally. Cosmo, Wanda, I wish all the boxes were moved. The gym sounds like a lot of fun, and I want to be there."
With a wave of their wands, the two fairies poofed all the boxes out of the truck and near the doors.
"Yes!"
"Forgot my magazine." Vicky came back outside, much to Timmy's consternation. Vicky blinked in shock at the boxes in place. "How did you-"
Footsteps approached the two, revealing Cheerilee. "Hello kids, I just wanted to check up on-," She nearly dropped her clipboard in surprise and confusion. "How did you two move all this stuff?"
"Uh, teamwork," Timmy grinned.
"Yeah," added Vicky uneasily.
Cheerilee narrowed eyes in suspicion. "Really? There had to be at least 800 pounds of boxes, and you two moved them in five minutes."
"Yes?" Timmy replied nervously.
With a hint of suspicion and disbelief, Cheerilee nodded. "Well, good job. With that done, I guess you two can enjoy the tournament." She then walked away stiffly.
As soon as the teacher was gone, Vicky pulled Timmy by his shirt to her face. "So, how did you move all this stuff, twerp?"
"Uh, super vitamins?" he blurted.
"Whatever. Let's go watch the dumb game." Vicky walked out of the loading dock, with Timmy following suit.
The Gym
Dimmsdale's Lead Guitarist
We'll crush, beat you,
Stuff you, pound you,
We're Dimmsdale's High,
You're low,
We're fast,
You're slow,
Rainbow Dash
You can't be me,
I've got speed, I've got moves,
But my greatest tool,
Is loyalty,
With my friends with me,
We'll always be,
Number one,
Just wait and see.
Rainbow Dash rose into the air, her body glowing. In a few moments, she sprouted pony ears and wings. As she flew into the air, she spread blue sparkles all over the place.
The students of Canterlot cheered while the Dimmsdale High School students were speechless.
The Dimmsdale students were astonished. "Man, those are great special effects."
Another student watched in awe. "It looks like she's sprouting wings and flying."
Timmy ran to the door, hoping to catch the concert. "C'mon. I don't want to miss-" Timmy entered the gym, only to be disappointed. The concert was over, and the game had already begun. "Rats! We missed it!" With a frustrated sigh, Timmy looked for an open seat, reluctantly taking the one next to Vicky. With nothing else to do, he pulled out his Joy Boy.
Moondancer walked out of the AV room. Despite being a hermit, she still needed to use the bathroom. She drew her hood to avoid being seen only to bump into someone. "Sorry." Moondancer looked up and saw a familiar face, an uncomfortably familiar face.
Sunset Shimmer looked at her with an unusually warm smile different from the nasty grin that she expected. "Don't I know you from somewhere?" Sunset looked at Moondancer in confusion.
Moondancer narrowed her eyes, "Probably. I-"
"Moondancer, was it? I haven't seen you since the-,"
"Spring Fling." Moondancer grit her teeth. +
Sunset grew morose. "Moondancer, listen." She rubbed the back of her head with some shame. "I was wondering if we could put what happened behind us."
"Behind us?" Moondancer parroted with an unimpressed tone.
"It was a long time ago. I was in a bad place." Before Moondancer could respond, Sunset’s phone rang. "Hold on. I got a text.” After reading it, she gave the girl an embarrassed look. “Ah. Sorry. I have to go. Maybe we can get together some time?" With that, Sunset ran off.
Moondancer meekly followed her to the basketball court. She saw Sunset in a group hug with her friends. Moondancer's blood boiled, and her fist clenched as she glared at the fire-haired girl.
"It’s time to begin our third game. We'll start with-," Principal Celestia paused as someone snatched the microphone from her.
"I'm Zephyr Breeze. I just want to give a shoutout to my favorite girl with the best hair and the fastest legs. Rainbow!"
Rainbow Dash facepalmed in annoyance.
Principal Celestia strained her patience. "That's very nice, Zephyr. Now, please-"
"This one's for you!" Zephyr stripped his clothes off and streaked across the court.
Everyone was shocked and disgusted while Fluttershy and Rainbow were utterly mortified.
"When I run, I run for my girl Rainbow!" Zephyr wailed.
"Cover your eyes, twerp." Vicky shoved Timmy's hat over his eyes while covering her own. Apparently, Zephyr’s streaking was too horrific even for Vicky.
"Nothing can stop me!" Zephyr bellowed, "nothing-," Zephyr tripped and fell onto the gym floor.
It didn’t take long for him to get caught by the school security. "You can stop me, but you can't contain my love!" Several security guards began dragging him out.
"Man, that guy's an idiot," Cosmo commented. Cosmo and Wanda were Timmy’s plate and a cup, respectively.
"Takes one to know one."
In another part of the gym, Scootaloo grabbed her stomach. "I think I'm going to be sick."
Sweetie Belle was blocked from sight by her sister. "From Zephyr?"
Scootaloo’s insides were queasy. "No. Well, that too, but I also had too many pork chops." She got up from her seat, covered her mouth, and looked for a trash can to throw up. Sadly, she didn’t make it in time and threw up near the bleachers on someone else.
"AHH!" the older teen screamed. The girl had a green shirt, black pants, pink eyes, and black shoes that were now ruined. She had red hair style into a ponytail and pink eyes that glared at her angrily.
Scootaloo looked in shame at what she did to the vicious-looking red-head. "I'm so sorry," Scootaloo pleaded. To her horror, the girl growled and grabbed her by her shirt.
"You are so dead!" the menacing highschooler growled.
"I said I was sorry!" Scootaloo winced as the angry teen raised her fist.
"Hey!"
Scootaloo looked to the side and, to her relief, a very angry Rainbow Dash stormed over to where she was.
"You take your hands off my sister!" Rainbow Dash bared her fists.
The red-head let Scootaloo go and glared at the newcomer. "It vomited on my shoe!”
"I didn't do it on purpose," Scootaloo protested.
"Yeah. That doesn't give you a right to beat her up!" Rainbow argued back with a glare.
"Oh, yeah? Well, I paid 200 dollars for these shoes!"
A sudden loud whistle from Mrs. Harshwhinny interrupted the argument. "I don't know what's going on, but this argument is over. If I see any more funny business, both of you will leave until the game is over."
The two teenagers glared at one another before storming off to their respective sides.
Rainbow looked warmly at her younger sister. "Don't worry, Scoots. You’ll probably never see her again."
"OK," Scootaloo felt relieved from the support.
"C'mon." Rainbow grabbed Scootaloo's hand. "I'll take you to the nurse's office."
Scootaloo smiled. "Thanks, Rainbow."
Later
The game was over, and Canterlot High was victorious. This meant the losing team’s volunteer had to clean-up. That meant Timmy had to clean the basketball court while Vicky supervised.
"That's it." Vicky nastily grinned as Timmy scrubbed the floor. "I want that floor so clean that I can eat off of it."
"Yes, ma'am," Timmy replied miserably.
Thankfully, as soon as he was alone when Vicky finally left, Timmy wished the mess away. With the work taken care of, Timmy exited the building to join the others for the after-game snacks, his hard work building up his appetite. When the young boy reached the table, he discovered that the entire table was cleared of all its food. "They ran out?!" He looked at one of the teens eating a bag of popcorn. "Why didn't you leave any for me?"
The girl shrugged. "Sorry. Vicky said you already ate. We figured you didn't mind if we cleaned up." With that, she started walking away.
"Can I at least have some popcorn?" An empty popcorn bag met his face, and Timmy sighed in defeat as he went to an open table.
Alone again, Wanda reassured him. "Don't worry, Timmy. I can always wish you up something to eat." He ignored her. "Are you okay?"
Timmy watched glumly as the kids from Canterlot High enjoyed eating with their families and friends. They ate happily and shared with one another. He looked back at his own empty. The well of emptiness finally made him crack, letting out a sob. Not wanting to look at them anymore, he walked out of the cafeteria, dejectedly throwing away the game’s complimentary T-shirt. He left the shirt on the ground, but this did not go unnoticed by a certain blond-haired girl.
On the other side of the room, Sunset Shimmer was in a similar state of mind. Her heart sank, seeing her friends and their families celebrating winning 4 to 2. She sat down on the bleachers, feeling tired and alone.
"Hey, Sunny. Having-," Pinkie Pie saw Sunset looking down in the dumps. "What's wrong? Why are you so upset?"
"Nothing." Sunset started running into the hallway.
"Tell me." Pinkie Pie followed her.
"Pinkie..."
"Tell me! Tell me!" Pinkie Pie circled Sunset, jumping up and down. "Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!"
"Okay," relented Sunset with some annoyance.
Pinkie Pie finally stopped jumping and stood next to her.
NOTE: This song sound's like "What More Is Out There". I was inspired by the deleted part of the song, which showed Sunset feeling alone.
Sunset Shimmer
I've got the best grades,
I've passed all my exams,
But deep down, I don't know who I am.
Pinkie Pie
You're Sunny. Who else could you be?
Sunset Shimmer
I've got a guitar, I've got friends,
But I don't know where my life will go.
I've got so many people like me,
But I feel all alone.
(The boy in a pink hat walked in his lonesome.)
Timmy Turner
I've got wishes
I've got magic,
But sometimes I feel alone,
I feel so tragic
Wanda
Oh, sweetie, don't worry.
Cosmo
I have a hip made from plastic-ow!
Sunset Shimmer
I feel like something's missing,
But it's hard to explain,
But even though I can't say it,
I feel as gloomy as the rain
Pinkie Pie
Sure, you can feel gloomy,
Sometimes life isn’t always fun,
But behind every storm cloud is a bright and shiny sun.
Timmy Turner
I can make it rain cookies,
I can wish to another time zone,
But sometimes I wonder,
Am I doomed to be on my own?
Wanda
Sweetie, I know the future is scary.
I know you fear growing old.
You may not be the toughest,
You've got a heart of gold.
Cosmo
The bread has lots of mold.
Sunset and Timmy
I guess I shouldn't worry.
I guess I shouldn't be afraid,
Maybe my destiny is just over the horizon.
Maybe I'll find out someday.
Wanda, Cosmo, and Pinkie
That's the spirit.
Sunset and Timmy
The future is always blank
The future feels far away
I don't know what I'm looking
But for now, I'll live for the day.
Timmy found himself sitting against some horse statue, feeling slightly better. The sun began to set, just tipping the horizon and making the sky glow a weird red.
Wanda disguised as an eraser in his front pocket. "So, what do you want to eat?"
Timmy smiled slightly, when he heard a clunk on the ground. He saw a familiar nickel on the grass.
Cosmo was the first to respond. "Philip! Don’t leave me! You’re my only true friend." Timmy glared at him, and he strained a smile. "Besides you."
Timmy sighed. “Yeah. Yeah. I got him.”
At that moment, Derpy walked out of the school, looking for the kid who left his shirt. Turning to the statue, she found him. Before she called out to him, Derpy's eyes narrowed at the brown-haired kid picking up something near the portal. Derpy rubbed her poor eyes to see better. Looking again, she saw the kid was holding up something metallic.
Pocketing the object, the boy in the pink hat seemingly spoke to himself. "I wish I had a muffin." POOF! A muffin suddenly appeared in the boy's hand.
Derpy dropped her jaw in horror. She threw away the T-shirt and ran into the school in a panic, shouting, "Muffin emergency!"
Timmy blinked and looked around. "Did you guys hear something?"
Cosmo hugged Philip tight as Wanda rolled her eyes. "Nope!"
Timmy shrugged, wanting to indulge in his treat. Just as he leaned in to bite, a shadow loomed over him.
"Hey, twerp.” Vicky got into his face. "Where did you get that muffin? I thought we ate all the grub."
"Uh, Internet."
Vicky spoke in a falsely sweet tone. "Really? Well, thank you so much for sharing."
Knowing what would happen if he refused, Timmy reluctantly handed the muffin to her.
She proceeded to bite the whole thing in his face. "It's so delicious!" Vicky continued chewing on the pastry. "Too bad you can't-" Forgetting to not talk with her mouth full, Vicky started choking on the muffin.
Seeing some form of retribution, Timmy laughed at his babysitter's misfortune.
When Vicky regained her composure, she glared at the boy; however, she had other things to take care of. "Just be on the bus when we finish up." Vicky walked away from the 10-year old boy, still coughing out muffin bits caught in her throat.
Hallways
"Muffin emergency!"
Sunset and the Rainbooms were packing up their equipment when they heard Derpy yell as she ran up to them,
"We have a Muffin emergency!"
"Derpy, what is it?"
"I saw a kid."
"And?”
"He was eating a muffin.”
"Okay." Sunset went back to packing up her equipment. "So?"
"He was near the portal thingy!” This got their attention.
"What about the portal?" asked Sunset, paying close attention to Derpy's words.
"I don’t know. I was on the other side, but he picked up something shiny. Then he wished for a muffin, and it just poofed in his hand."
Rainbow Dash raised a brow. "Poofed?"
Derpy waved her arms. "Yes, Poof! Then he had a delicious muffin."
"And this is the most important question," Pinkie Pie asked in seriousness. "What kind of muffin was it?" Pinkie asked with a smile.
"Um...well-,"
Sunset frowned. "Alright. Let's go check this out. What did he look like?"
"Uh, buck teeth, pink hat, and brown hair."
Outside
Timmy waited patiently at the crosswalk, waiting for the pedestrian signal to light up. The others had forgotten to tell him that their bus stop moved to the next block over, and he had just found out from Ms. Cheerilee. "Come on. I just want to go home." The street lights changed to his relief. “Finally!”
Meanwhile, Sunset and her friends stormed out of the school, looking around for the boy.
Rarity crossed her arms. "Well, he's not near the portal. Where could he-"
"Wait." Applejack narrowed her eyes across the lawn to the street corner. She pointed toward the street. “I think that’s him."
Following her eyes, the others concluded that it had to be. The boy was a quarter through the road, and they needed to catch up to him. Rainbow Dash took the lead, hoping to get his attention. “Hey, kid! Wait up!” Sadly, he was too far away to hear.
Up the road, a driver muttering to himself the rules of road safety. "Ten and two. Ten and two. Don’t lose focus. You are a responsible-" His eyes drifted to the floor. “Ooh, a nickel!” Without any hesitation, the man let go of the steering wheel and leaned down, focusing only on the coin. His hand pressed harder on the accelerator due to the change in posture.
The brown station wagon sped past the group of teens outside. They didn’t think much of it until they noticed that the vehicle wasn’t slowing down before it was too late.
Their eyes widened in horror. "GET OUT OF THE ROAD!" Sunset yelled to the boy.
Hearing a voice, Timmy looked left only to see the vehicle coming right for him. Screaming in fear, he acted fast. "I wish I won’t get hit!" Miraculously, the car poofed away, to the shock of the Rainbooms. Seconds later, the car suddenly appeared on the other side of the crosswalk. Timmy grabbed his chest and took a deep breath. “That was close." Not wanting anything else to happen, he ran across the street and toward the bus.
Within the car, the driver pushed himself up back into his seat, the object of his desire in hand. "What a shiny nickel. Today must be my lucky day. I'll call you, Phillip." After placing the coin safely in his pocket, he checked his surroundings. "Darn. I missed my turn."
Back at the school grounds, the teens stared at the boy.
Rarity gasped. "I'm not the only one who saw that, right?"
Applejack shook her head. "Nope."
Forcing down her surprise, Sunset ran after the kid, but the crosswalk stopped her. Sunset watched with frustration as the brown-haired boarded the Dimmsdale High School bus that drove off into the distance in shock and confusion.
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ha
10363399
does sunset qualify as another supernatural being or a being who knows magic? also looking forward to seeing where this goes and if timmy turns into a earth pony in equestria or somehow being an alicorn due to his connection to two beings that can litrely grant almost any wish? also draconicus cosmo anyone?
10363741
Yes, Sunset does qualify.
this is gonna drive everyone up the wall in CHS. they'll all think timmy is from the portal.
I am intrigued.
Okay... That was honestly just rude. I would be upset as well.
The good news is I named my nickel, Phillip!
What's the bad news?
IT'S A GIRL NICKEL!
It's a little telly, but this was one of my favorite cartoons as a kid and I could almost picture the animation through this... so I'll keep an eye on it.
Wait, wot?
10363848
I meant CHS was victorious.
friendly reminder. fic looks awesome~
10363782
IGIARI! THey'll think he picked up something from Equestria. Derpy did say he picked up something shiny
10363849
Don't you mean 'she'?
10363867
No. I meant "it". As in, Vicky has so little respect for Scootaloo, she refers to the girl as an "it."
10363864
you do got a point there. huh. i wonder how this will all head to......
i.imgflip.com/4a65a5.jpg
10363897
Do you think Sunset will be as bad as Vicky pre reformation then?
10363936
I agree with that.
10363381
Oh yeah had that episode in mind but I forgot that tidbit
Hope Vicky gets karma in the end
10363439
I'm sure the writers are glad someone does.
(I don't think she's that bad of a character, really; I just think the show had enough characters to work with already. Heck, Tootie is already an appropriately miserable girl that she deserves a fairy or two.)
I haven’t seen something like this yet and it’s really good. Though do be sure to carful read since I notice a few mistakes which I’ll post later.
I do like that your not having Poof, Dog and the girl (whoever she was) in this story. I felt the old classic show when reading this which was much better before Poof
10363964
No.
Hear.
Missed space.
10363835
Even post reformation, Sunset has problems empathizing with anyone but her friends. It would be a good idea to explore this blind spot.
10363964
Hardly, considering how over the top Vicky is.
10364054
Just like they ignored Trixie's tomboy side, or Veronica's crush on Timmy. Or eventually all of Timmy's relationships with his friends outside the magical side.
10364054
10363439
I agree. The problem wasn't Chloe per se, the problem was how she was implemented.
And the simple fact that she was kind of superfluous, and sidelined already established characters.
Okay the Zephyr moment was a bit much, even for my twisted humor, at first I thought he was going to remove his shirt to reveal he tattooed or painted a drawing of him and Rainbow with heart surrounding them... that... that was too much.
10364176
I think this was properly portrayed with Sunset's interactions with Wall Flower in that one EQG movie special.
Intriguing, I really like how you merged the two stories together, feels kind of natural. I shall look forward to more.
Eh... story's not really doing it for me. The musical numbers are fine for a show where you can actually hear the lyrics and see the animation to go with it, but trying to put those into a story is a bit of a losing proposition (Especially when people can read/hear words differently with different accents). That and the fact that the "big reveal" about Timmy having magic (At least as far as the Rainbooms are concerned) felt... cliche? Just seemed like something so blatantly obvious is a bit of a let down, even if this is probably something that would happen in the cartoon.
Overall, I think this would work just fine as, say, a crossover episode that was actually animated. But as a written story, it falls pretty flat on its face. Story doesn't deserve a thumbs down, as I don't believe it's objectively bad, but neither do I find it very good. Concept was nice, and something I don't believe I've seen... well, at all really, on this site. Just that the source material (At least one half of this crossover) doesn't lend well to a written medium.
To be fair what happens around Timmy HAS to be the work of some kind of malevolent spirit. Cartoon logic alone doesn't work well with any semblance of a more realistic world such as EQG.
That must be frign' terrifying for the girls, considering what they've already faced.
At least she 'cares' for him enough to say/do that
10364315
I wanted to do something FOP has never done before: explore what would happen if a benign faction learned about Timmy's powers. Instead of just power hungry villains, what would a group of heroes make of Timmy's life?
10364632
My version of Vicky is in the earlier seasons, when she's more of a self-centered bully rather than a power-hungry supervillain.
10364750
Early vicky would save timmys life if she had to. Later one might if she could get what she wanted out of it
10364177
Now that’s a missed joke opportunity, where the residents of Dimmsdale or specifically Timmy would notice the strange colors the students at canterlot high has. Kinda like the jokes between 2D and 3D animation at the Jimmy Timmy power hour special episodes:
Not to mention Timmy singing, Cosmo or Wanda should have commented on that for a nice bit.
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I considering having the skin colors of CHS' students be very different, with Timmy wryly commenting on them, but I felt such jokes would distract from the main story. I also felt they were superfluous, and they would only be interesting if all this was animated.
Making their skin colors more like ours was a pragmatic choice.
Spot on! XD
Ohhh Vicky
A minute I thought some obscure pony reference
Amen
Finally! Someone else gets it!
I agree 100% on what you said about there being no bad idea, just bad execution. I personally thought Poof was a good character (or at worst, a good enough character) for the show, and had given Timmy a whole new challenge to go with his usual “keep fairies a secret” thing, as most of the episodes I’ve seen with the two has him being the responsible one by default, where a usual episode would have that be Wanda and (to a lesser extent) Cosmo.
I stopped watching the show slightly before Sparky and Chloe were introduced, but from the little I saw from them I could see why they weren’t well liked. With the former just being a sight gag most of the time and the latter being a quite literal Mary Sue. They could have been great characters, but like you said, the writers got lazy with em.
Love the story so far, I’m definitely favoriting this!
Damn Zephyr, you made VICKY have standards.
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There is no evidence of my point than Sunset: she went from being the most disliked character in EG to the most beloved character in EG. She became so beloved, she became the protagonist.
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I have to agree with a lot of your points. But the biggest problem with the story, for me personally, is the author trying to consolidate two vastly different shows with completely different views on magic/lore into one contiguous universe. Being a fan of both, I'm having a difficult time accepting that EQG was part of the Fairly Odd Parents-verse all along and vice-versa. To me, it just doesn't work. Objectively speaking, the characterizations and the writing itself aren't bad. Like you mentioned before, it has to do with the source material more than anything else.
I don't blame Moondancer from how she reacted when she meet Sunset Shimmer for the second time, In the bathroom no less after the events of the Fall Formal. If i was one of the students bullied at Canterlot High and met my tormentor in an akward place and situation, I would have acted defensively too, In a harsh manner since my instincts told me asking nicely didn't work the first time around.
Professionals have standards
Also this sounds more FOP then MLP, nice work.
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This. I don't think we were meant to be upset with her, anyway.
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Chloe would be fine if she was a parody, because shes so mary sue it kinda circles around to being a joke- untill the show ruins it by acting like shes fucking geuinely perfect.
The other issue is that faries are given to kids with issues- from what we've seen, mainly children that are missing a supportive parental figure, and problem children. Kids who would benfit on a personal level from faries.
I mean, this could explain why timmy is sharing- it would help him improve(which seems to be one of the points of getting a fairy god parent) and Chole isn't sufficiently troubled to have her own.
The punctuation was kind of wonky in the previous chapter, but now it's become really haphazard. Why are there so many periods and commas in place of when there should be question marks and exclamation points? It's making reading the dialogue really awkward.