• Published 27th Aug 2019
  • 757 Views, 27 Comments

Adagio Dazzle Hates Trigonometry - TheGuineaPig45

With nothing left, the Dazzlings return to Canterlot High School, invigorated with a new mission to become the best students ever and earn the adoration of their peers! The only thing standing in their way? Trigonometry.

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I: Adagio Dazzle Takes A Test

“Good morning, Canterlot High School!”

Principal Celestia’s cheery voice boomed throughout the school’s P.A. system, right as the last couple students settled down for homeroom. “I hope you’re not feeling the Monday blues, because this is going to be an exciting week at Canterlot High! Wednesday is a big soccer game against Crystal Prep, and tomorrow, we’ll be having an assembly to show a preview of our Fall Drama--”

Principal Celestia’s voice cut off. Several students uttered confused noises, but then went back to their personal conversations without giving it a second thought.

Adagio Dazzle was sitting on Principal Celestia’s desk, giving her signature devious grin to the woman sitting on the other side. By her side stood Aria Blaze and Sonata Dusk, who were showing a confident smirk and genuine smile, respectively.

Principal Celestia, on the other hand, had a look of pure horror in her eyes.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, trying to recompose herself. “I will not let you wreak havoc on my school once again!”

Adagio scoffed and flipped her massive poof of hair. “Principal Celestia, I’m offended. My sisters and I would never.”

“Except for the time we did,” Sonata said. Aria nudged her in the side with her elbow. Sonata retaliated by sticking her tongue out.

“We’ve seen the error of our ways,” Adagio continued. “Hypnotizing CHS in order to steal their negative energy was cruel, callous, and just plain wrong. Thus, we would like to make amends and right our wrongs by re-enrolling in your school today as proud Wonderbolts.”

“Wondercolts,” Celestia corrected.

“Whatever. Please, give us poor, lonely girls a second chance. Let us indulge ourselves in the Magic of Friendship and become better people!” She snapped her fingers at her sisters, and the three of them gave Celestia puppy-dog eyes. Very convincing puppy-dog eyes.

That worked.

Principal Celestia put her hand over her heart and beamed at the girls. Adagio could have sworn she saw a tear in her eyes. “Here at Canterlot High, we are firm believers in second chances and redemption!” She opened her desk, and pulled out a file of papers. “If you are truly as remorseful as you claim, then there’s no reason to turn you away. Dazzlings, welcome to the Wondercolt Family!”

Adagio winked back at her sisters. Sonata gave a thumbs-up.

“Oh, thank you so much, Principal Celestia,” Adagio said, expertly hiding any hint of manipulation in her voice. “Now, please, tell us, what does one have to do to become the best student at CHS?”

Celestia chuckled. “We don’t have a Class Ranking system at Canterlot High. However, if you study, do well on your tests, participate in extracurriculars, and go to social events, you’ll do just fine.”

Sonata raised her hand. “Is today Monday or Tuesday?”


Ha!” Aria cruelly exclaimed, slapping Sonata on the back. “You owe me ten dollars.” A pause. “Once we have money again, of course.”

“GIRLS!” Adagio snarled through gritted teeth, instantly silencing her sisters. She took a deep breath, recentered herself, then turned back toward Celestia with an innocent smile gracing her face. “Again, my sincerest of thanks. When do classes begin?”

Celestia raised an eyebrow. “Well, you see, it’s a bit of a process. You can’t just automatically become students. You have to fill out paperwork, show up on the roster--”

“All of that sounds like nonsense keeping my sisters and I from getting a full education!” Adagio hopped off the desk, instead putting her hands on the wooden surface and leaning forward so that she was right in her principal’s face. “How can you expect us to learn and become better if we can’t even take a class?”

The principal nervously adjusted her suit jacket and cleared her throat. “I’ll see what I can do. If Vice Principal Luna and I work together, we might be able to get you into classes by lunch.”

Adagio grinned and took Celestia’s hand. “Much better. Thank you so much.” Her and her sisters began walking out of the office, but Adagio turned back at the last second. With a sinister look in her eyes, she said one last thing.

“You won’t regret this.”

Principal Celestia was already starting to regret it.

Adagio, Aria, and Sonata sauntered through the halls of CHS, carrying with them an air of superiority. Their plan had worked. Come lunchtime, they would be full-fledged students at Canterlot High and begin their mission of earning their peers' adoration.

“I haven’t lost my touch,” Adagio laughed, strutting past the science lab. “You’re welcome, sisters. We now have free food and shelter.”

Aria and Sonata joined her revelry, each contributing their own unique laugh. “That was so easy,” the former said. “We’ll be the new Sunset Shimmers in no time.”

“Did someone say my name?”

The Dazzlings turned a corner and were greeted by Sunset Shimmer, who was standing by a locker, holding a red textbook. Upon seeing the trio of sirens, her face turned white, and that poor book fell to the floor.

Adagio tactfully picked it up and handed it back to her. “You dropped this.” Sunset was too stunned to hold it, and just stood there, completely frozen in place.

“I think we broke her,” Sonata whispered.

“Y-You…” Sunset stammered, pointing at the girls. Her whole body was shaking. “What are you doing here?!”

“We go here, duh,” Aria teased, leaning her elbow on Adagio’s shoulder.

The flustered Wondercolt was struggling to get out any words. “What?! How?! I thought you got expelled! You hypnotized the whole school!”

“So did you.”

Sunset was taken aback by Aria’s words, nearly stumbling over the backpack that was behind her foot. She caught herself, then took a deep breath. “Okay, you’re right, I did do that. But that’s in the past now. I learned about the Magic of Friendship and became a better person.”

“Oh! Twinsies!” Sonata giggled, patting Sunset on the back. “That’s exactly why we’re here!”

Sunset furrowed her brow. “You want to learn about the Magic of Friendship?”

“Something like that,” Adagio yawned, striding past her fellow student. “We’re reformed now, just like you. No more hypnotizing. No more bickering. No more evil plans. Just good old fashioned academia.”

“Even Principal Celestia agreed,” Aria added, following Adagio away. “We all deserve second chances.”

“See you later, alligator!” Sonata called out, running to catch up with her sisters.

Sunset watched the Dazzlings leave, and shook her head in disbelief. They had to be up to something, right? Unless… they genuinely were reformed. Could she trust them?

In that moment, standing in front of her locker, Sunset Shimmer vowed to get to the bottom of the sudden reappearance of the Dazzlings.

After history class, of course.

At lunch, the Dazzlings had a table all to themselves.

Adagio put her feet up and bit into an apple. “Mmm… I haven’t had food this good in months.” She wiped her lips with a napkin and let out a deep sigh. “I’ll admit, this wasn’t the worst plan we’ve ever had.”

“That honor still goes to the taco in a toaster,” Aria agreed, scarfing down her plate of spaghetti and meatballs. “Seriously, what were you thinking?!”

“I’ll give you an answer when I wake up from this food coma,” Sonata moaned gleefully, a tossing a potato chip into her mouth.

The students at the surrounding tables were constantly stealing glances at them and whispering. Some had looks of terror on their face. Others appeared angry. Most were just plain confused. And while they weren’t being loud enough for the Dazzlings to hear their gossip, they knew it was about them.

Especially since not a soul in the cafeteria dared to even approach the girls.

“Look at us,” Adagio said, taking another chunk out of her apple. “We’re already the center of attention. Everyone is talking about us.”

Aria shrugged. “I suppose negative attention is better than no attention at all.”

Adagio tossed her apple core into a nearby trash can and laughed. “Oh, we’ll win them over faster than you can say 'Battle of the Bands'.”

“Battle of the Bands!” Sonata blurted out. “Did we win yet?” Aria Blaze punched her in the arm.

Adagio was about to come up with a plan for the rest of the girls’ day, but was interrupted by Vice Principal Luna, who walked over to their table with three sheets of paper in her hand.

“Here are your schedules,” she said, giving a paper to each girl. “We did not have a gauge for your abilities, and put you into classes based on what the majority of your grade is taking.”

Adagio ripped hers out of Luna’s hand and quickly scoured it. Concert Choir, Biology, Twentieth Century Literature, Lunch, Gym, Trigonometry, History. She didn't know what Trigonometry even was, but couldn't be bothered to ask. “This will do.”

“Hey, wait,” Aria grumbled, sneaking a peek over Adagio’s shoulder. “We only have Biology and History together!”

“We did our best,” Luna replied, barely showing any emotion in her voice, “but some classes were already at their maximum capacity, so we needed to shuffle you around.”

Adagio put her hand on Aria’s shoulder. “Sister, you’ll be fine. Honestly, I could use a break from your cumbersome quarrels.” She waved her hand at Vice Principal Luna, signaling for her to leave. Luna rolled her eyes and walked away, loudly moaning.

“This it it, girls,” Adagio continued, pulling her sisters in towards her. “The start of our journey to gain the adoration of everyone. We have to be the very best at all of these courses, so our peers will respect us.” Aria and Sonata nodded. “No messing up. Basically, just don’t be yourselves.”

Sonata took Adagio’s words into consideration. “Mmm… okay! In that case, I’ll be Sonata Dust!”

Aria rolled her eyes. “Finish your food, Sonata.”

Gym class had been a piece of cake.

Adagio was a fantastic dodgeball player. Thanks to her experience dancing in her performances, she was nimble and could avoid the flying balls with ease. Her poofy hair was a big advantage, too, since if the ball hit her hair, but not her body, she wasn’t out. They had played three games, and Adagio was the last person standing in two of them. Although, she was pretty certain one of her teammates had thrown a ball at her. No matter. She had brought her team to victory. Surely, she had earned at least a little respect.

She walked into the Trigonometry classroom with a fierce gusto, offering smiles to her peers instead of shooting them daggers. Of course, the other students were still afraid of her.

“Ah, so the rumors are true,” the teacher said, nervously smiling at her student. “Hello, Adagio Dazzle. I’m Miss Cheerilee, and I’ll be your Trigonometry teacher for the remainder of the school year.” She held out her hand for Adagio to shake. The student just stared at it. “Um, on a later date, we’ll have to catch you up with the material and assess your skill level. But since we’re taking a test today, you’re welcome to sit out and observe.”

Adagio gasped. “Nonsense. I want to take the test, just like every other student. How else am I going to prove my academic prowess and be the best student?”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.” Adagio Dazzle turned around and took searched for a seat. A couple of students moved their bags into empty seats so she wouldn’t sit by them, while others just held their heads down and hoped for the best.

Eventually, Adagio found a place next to a girl with glasses and dark blue hair and purple streaks. The girl was looking through her notes, and thus didn't pay notice the siren sitting next to her. Something seemed familiar about her, but Adagio just couldn’t put her finger on it.

After thirty seconds of internal debating, it hit her like a ton of bricks. “Twilight Sparkle?!”

“Hi,” Twilight replied. “Do I know you?”

“Of course you do! What are you doing here? I thought you went back to Equestria!”

Twilight sighed and shook her head. “I get that a lot. You’re thinking of the other Twilight Sparkle. That one’s a princess. I’m just… me.”

“There are two of you?!”

“Yup. I’m still trying to figure out the science behind it myself, but--”

“That is awful.”

Twilight rolled her eyes and went back to looking at her notes. Adagio grimaced, and continued staring at her. Twilight Sparkle. Just as bad as Sunset Shimmer.

“Alright, class,” Cheerilee announced, a stack of papers in her hand. “I hope you all studied over the weekend, because it’s test time!” The room erupted into a loud groan. “Don’t worry, it’s not as bad as you think. There’s less than twenty questions.”

This should be effortless, Adagio thought.

Cheerilee placed the tests face down on each student’s desk, and told them to flip it over when she said “Begin.” Adagio patiently waiting for the signal, then furiously flipped her paper over and bore her eyes into that first question.

“Name”. Easy. She wrote down “Adagio Dazzle”.

The next one said “Period”. Why would they want that? She shrugged, and put “.” on the line.

The final one displayed the word “Date”. Ugh. I’m not going out with someone I just met. Disgusting. She wrote “Not a chance” in the slot.

Great. Three down, ten to go.

The next question was continued the easy streak. “What is the angle of depression?” There was an image next to it, filled with numbers, but Adagio ignored it. “Depression is a state of extreme sadness. For example, me being tortured by my SISTERS every waking minute of my life.”

Under it was a question which read, “sin(35)=” with another image. Adagio didn't remember there being thirty-five deadly sins. Thinking the “5” was a typo, she wrote the only three deadly sins she could remember: “Pride, Envy, and Greed.”

Then the test asked for "2 pi" in degrees. She wrote “Strawberry Rhubarb and Apple.”

Adagio continued through the rest of the questions like this, ignoring all the triangles that were plastered over the test. After about five minutes, she stood up and triumphantly strutted up to Miss Cheerilee, garnering the looks of her fellow classmates, who were still in their seats on the first couple of questions.

The siren put the paper down on her teacher’s desk. “I’m done."

“Great!” Cheerilee said with a smile. “I’ll grade that right now for you.”

"Fantastic. By the way, this test is full of spelling and grammar mistakes. I see now why you're not an English teacher."

"I-- Um-- Okay?"

Adagio waited as her test was looked over, absentmindedly checking her nails. She looked up, and Twilight was staring at her. Adagio winked and waved. Twilight shook her head and went back to her test.

After a minute or so, Cheerilee tapped the Dazzling on her shoulder. “Um, I don’t-- Here. Just take a look.” She handed Adagio her test.

There were several red “X” marks all over the paper. All the shapes had been circle. And at the top of the paper, there was a big, red “1” drawn in permanent marker.

“A one?” Adagio asked, looking at the sheet. “Because I’m number one?”

Cheerilee sighed. “No. One out of one hundred points. And that’s just because you wrote your name.”

Adagio blankly stared at the red “1”, which had sown its image into her brain just as permanent as the marker it was written with.

She had failed trigonometry.

No. No way. That couldn’t be. Absolutely not.

Trigonometry had failed her.

And she was not about to let that stand.