Warden of All
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Not liking the whole 'character can use their powers easily despite they just gained them' part.
9804703
Yeah kind of a mood killer for me. I prefer if they have them but have little understanding on how to use them and constantly training to understand them.
9804840
Exactly. If I was the author, I would have made it so that the main character is forced to start out with 0 in all of his skills while his starting armor is all Iron, then have the main character work for his powers and abilities in some sort of Skyrim mechanic-in-realife scenerio. In order to gain new understanding, he'll need to reach the skill requirements. 0 for Iron, 15 for Steel, 25 for Orcish, 50 for dwarven, 75 for Ebony, 100 for Dragonstone/Daedra. Same goes for Magic.
9804913
It's not impossible to write a good story were the character is good instantly with their powers. But those don't really revolve around the powers and more on the character development and interactions than BEHOLD MY POWER THAT I DIDN'T EARN
9804920
True, true, as long as the main character struggles or shows anything that makes him or her still human-like or at least has flaws despite the new powers. Even a human-turned-god can make mistakes.
9804923
Like getting lost in thought over the most random things
9804939
You are right, and I'm not to proud to admit it is too easy for him to use his powers. But in my defense, I have read stories where characters have much more overpowered abilities and are almost immediately using them well. Also, I will try to have him struggle some with his more powerful abilities later. The way I thought about it was like manipulating dreams would be simple as thinking, at least for those who have the ability to do so. Also, when it comes to learning more of his powers, he will go to a certain group for some training from the masters of his kind of powers, or at least some of them. Also, he will be failing some when it comes to the technology he has. I may try to rewrite some of the previous chapters to have him struggle more.
9804998
If I may make a reccemmendation. Go with what displaced said about his starting gear.
Alright, I'm Really Liking This, So Far. :)
9804998
Still bothers me considering that magic in TES Lore says that magicka can be very dangerous to use to anyone new to magicka. If novice mages of Nirn can struggle with their magicka, why would a human from the real world be any different?
So far I LOVE IT. Its an interesting idea that the human (which I nicknamed The Master, cause that feels right) is able to get almost everything from the merchant. I was thinking of maybe doing a story with an idea like that. Keep up with the good work, and can't wait for more chapters.
9806107
The merchant can give you anything, but its better to have the main character not knowledge of that nor make him or her act so willing to be thrown into a body/world that is vastly different than his own.
make more please
Elo, it’s me again.
To put this quite simply.
I WISH I WERE THIS GUY RIGHT ABOUT NOW!!!!!
I didn’t think that somebody would just walk up to the merchant and just ask for stuff. But sir, jolly good show!!!
More pls
I need more to sustain my entertainment!
You must produce more and deliver to this drop zone immediately!
... Please
You have "bit" instead of "bite" but that's okay. Interesting so far.
There were a few times where you put "she" without clarifying who was speaking.
Also, possible villain names: Devastator, Monarch and Nemesis,
9834703
I like those ideas, and I will try to correct those mistakes.
MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE
More
moar?
When is the next chapter coming out
You know, I'll be honest, I'm pretty fucking jealous of this guy. OP man at heart.
I love it when one befriends the timberwolfs. Heck yeah
I am F-ing loving this guy so I hope to see more. ^^
I don't know what I'm more impressed at. The fast he had the gall to walk up to the merchant and ask for all that or the fact he remembered that. A quick note that would help to clear up that wall of text a bit. Why not just have him ask for "the powers of every villain in mlp" followed by the rest? There's a slim chance there could be a misunderstanding but with that shop coin he can just clear it right up.
10098572
Well, he wants to be sure that he gets exactly what he wants with no strings drawbacks or unexpected consequences, he knows how tricky and mischievous the Merchant can be.
Moar
please sir, can we have some more
Are you ever going to continue this?
More
ahh yes panic.