Sombra is back... Sombrero, actually.

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King Sombra has returned... But he's acting so weird. And the fact is that he has a split personality, and now he is not a Sombra, and Sombrero – pony with a blonde hair, banjo and love for Princess Luna.

Chapters (9)

Chapter 1: Let Me Introduce Myself: Mr. Sombrero. · 20th Aug 2019 · 1,429 words
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Chapter 2: The First Step To The Princess's Heart · 21st Aug 2019 · 1,555 words
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Chapter 3: Today Is The Best Day Of My Life! · 24th Aug 2019 · 1,551 words
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Chapter 4: Preparing For The Holiday · 26th Aug 2019 · 1,149 words
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Chapter 5: Grand Galloping Gala · 27th Sep 2019 · 1,671 words
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Chapter 6: Nightmare · 1st Oct 2019 · 2,455 words
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Chapter 7: Escape · 9th Oct 2019 · 2,187 words
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Chapter 8: Liberation · 29th Oct 2019 · 2,900 words
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Chapter 9: The Wedding · 30th Oct 2019 · 1,410 words
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Comments ( 10 )

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jimerjam

jimerjam #1 · Aug 20th, 2019 · · · Chapter 1: Let Me Introduce Myself: Mr. Sombrero. ·

more please I like it

ninjanaut1000

ninjanaut1000 #2 · Aug 27th, 2019 · · · Chapter 1: Let Me Introduce Myself: Mr. Sombrero. ·

Liking this story so far. Few things i want to mention is the pacing a little quick, and there are some grammatical errors but they are relatively minor ones though.

WARGAMES

WARGAMES #3 · Aug 27th, 2019 · 1 · · Chapter 3: Today Is The Best Day Of My Life! ·

"It from Princess Luna."

It's from

Luna went into her sister's dream. In fact, he was no different from reality. Just that no one was on the streets. Absolutely no one.

Who is he?, Do you mean the city. Where are we?

Her strange dreams. once again noticed Luna.

try "She once again noticed" instead?

You let me?"

"Will you let me"

Brought to you by the Grammar nazi associationmiro.medium.com/max/1000/1*X41eENcVBjLa7nzWJpXf2w.png

DarkWarlockfit

DarkWarlockfit #4 · Oct 30th, 2019 · · · Chapter 1: Let Me Introduce Myself: Mr. Sombrero. ·

I like it, but I agree with Ninja that the pacing is to fast. You need to slow down, let the reader build an image, a scene. This feels like cliff notes. And character tense (He, I, Thay, Them, Me,) towards the end of the chapter is a good example as they are getting on the train.

Comment posted by DarkWarlockfit deleted Oct 30th, 2019

Seluxity