• Published 16th Aug 2019
  • 8,490 Views, 474 Comments

BIZARRO Am NOT iN EQUESTRIA - Hotel_Chicken



Never in all my life would I ever imagine that I'd end up in a variation of my little sister's cartoon. For some reason I'm stuck in Equestria as Bizarro, except every"pony" looks like their Equestrian Girls counterparts with wings, horns, and tails.

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Sticks and Stones Break Bones, Words Break Will.

BIZARRO POV

The infernal morning sun shone over the horizon and directly into my eyes that early morning as I walked towards the hospital to meet up with Twilight so we could check up on Trixie.

I dragged my feet on the dirt path towards the hospital as I made sure to arrive before five am and avoid most of the foot traffic in the morning. In hindsight, summoning a Displaced in the middle of town with no idea what would happen wasn’t one of my better ideas since coming to Equestria.

Twilight had to explain to the princesses that I was from another Dimension and tell the townsponies that I was an alien. After that she told them all that, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna immediately sent a scroll and ordered the town to take a vow of silence concerning the other alien I “called” and not tell anycreature that I was an alien from another planet. It was a pretty cut and dry affair, the princesses ordered it so they’d follow that order without hesitation. The only problem? That order didn’t say they had to treat me like a normal pony.

I saw it in their eyes when they looked at me, the fear and uneasiness that hid behind their colorful irises. Weeks ago they all loved me, and all it took was one secret to get out for them all to change their tune in a heartbeat. Thankfully some ponies were more accepting of others, but not by much.

The children were absolutely amazed that an alien was living in Ponyville, my friends Big Mac, Snowflake, and Spike accepted me, and Zecora didn’t seem phased in the slightest when it was announced at the town assembly, though I could have sworn I saw a small smile on her face for a moment.

Aside from the children and my friends, a mint colored unicorn mare named Lyra also became one of my new admirers. Apparently she was laughed out of Canterlot for believing there was extraterrestrial life out there in the infinite cosmos, and my existence pretty much proved all of her theories correct. Theories like different planets being different sizes, having different gravities, planets that revolved around the sun or had more than one moon, I had confirmed all of them.

She had a similar reaction to Twilight when I talked about my planet’s name and blushed when I mentioned that one of the planets in my solar system was called Uranus. When I told her that one of the planets was no longer considered a real planet she actually became furious, arguing that “A Dwarf Planet is still a planet, it’s in the Luna Damned name!” And I full heartedly agreed with her, mainly because I didn’t want her wrath pointed in my direction.

So, aside from the younger ponies, my friends, and a few optimistic theorists, most of the town had feared me. I could hear the whispers they all silently spoke, each voice growing louder inside my mind. They hadn't stopped since last night, and had completely prevented me from getting a restful night's sleep.

Where did he come from? Are there more? Is he going to invade us? He was near out children. Why is he still here? What was that other thing in the spaceship? I’d feel safer if he was gone. He's dangerous. He lifted an Ursa Minor like a kitten. How can we trust it?

It... They called me an it...

It hurt me to have almost all of the townsponies turn on me in a heartbeat, a few weeks prior I was completely normal in there eyes, but now they all saw me for what I was. I was a monster.

FINE! If they don’t want me here then I’ll be happy to leave when I’m summoned back to Earth. I thought angrily. I was angry with how quickly they all assumed the worst, but was absolutely furious with a certain lying Sith.

Why did Darth Vader lie about not being able to go home? He said I had to die if I wanted to, and that even then I might not have been able to go home. He lied to me, he manipulated me. He thought I was dumb and gullible like Bizarro, well I'll show that bastard when me manipulate his spine to break over Bizarro knee!

As my thoughts raged on inside my head I felt the need to let out my aggression on something, anything, just so long as I got to get it out of my system. I looked around for something to relieve me with, completely forgetting about my plans to see Twilight so we could check up on Trixie.

My sights finally settled on Snowflake's gym, Bulk Bicep's Gym. It was a large red brick building with two floors, the second floor had long windows that wrapped around the building, allowing anypony exercising on the second floor to look outside or do some pony watching while they exercised. Over the two glass doors of the entrance hun a wooden sing with Snowflake's Cutie mark on it, directly beneath the words "Bulk Biceps".

During our game night of Ogres and Oubliettes, I asked Snowflake what it was like to work for somepony named Bulk Biceps. He laughed and told me that he was Bulk Biceps. Apparently, Snowflake had taken that name on as a pen name when he opened his business since ponies and other creatures didn't want to go to a place called Snowflake's Gym to exercise, go figure.

I pushed the doors open and made my way inside the building as I surveyed the room. There was a row of treadmills to my immediate right, to my left was a large rack of dumbbells that were stacked up to the ceiling, clearly a safety hazard that no one bothered to rectify, a few benches to sit on and lift weights, and there was a large boxing ring that laid in the center of the room. It had four blue and red ropes were attached to the posts and pulled parallel under tension with turnbuckles to form the boundary of the ring. The platform was raised several feet in the air to allow the perfect viewing experience for spectators to enjoy the show, with a set of bleachers lining the far left wall to allow the optimal viewing experience.

"Hey, Bro!" An enthusiastic stallion called out. I turned to look at Snowflake putting down a dumbbell and wipe himself off with a towel. "Good to see ya up and early Bro. What brings you to my place?"

"Bizarro need punch." I told him as my eyes landed on a punching-bag that hung from the ceiling. It was tucked away in the corner of the room near the entrance to the changing room. The sandbag was about as tall as I was, it gently drifted in the air as a rotary fan turned to give it a gentle nudge, allowing the chains that held up the bag to creak silently. The old punching bag had obviously seen years of abuse, it's once bright red color had become faded and several different colored patches of cloth held the bag together so it wouldn't leak.

I walked unto the sandbag without hesitation and threw a flurry of punches at it, popping open the patchwork that held it together with each punch, before my final punch sent it flying off of the chain. As the bag exploded against the wall of the gym I breathed heavily, the fatigue from no sleep only only relying on my rage to fuel me had finally caught up to me.

"Whoa Bro, you okay?" Snowflake asked as he admired my handiwork.

"Bizarro fine." I seethed out as I breather heavily through my nose.

"Look Bro, all that pent up rage isn't good for the heart. Lets burn off some of that aggression in the ring." He offered as he walked towards the boxing ring. My anger faltered slightly as I thought about fighting a pony with my strength, I didn't want to hurt Snowflake by punching him too hard.

"Um, Bizarro no need-"

"Back! Bawk, back, back, baaaawck." Snowflake teased, interrupting my by imitating the sounds of a chicken as he waved his tiny pegasus wings.

"Bizarro no nee-"

"Ba-BAWK! Bawk!" He continued to tease. I closed my eyes as I tried to drown out his immature noises, but the loudness of my own thoughts prevented me from focusing on anything other than him making those damn noises or all of those ponies who were afraid of me. "Come on, Bro, lets fight away that anger. Show your emotions who's boss! YEAH!"

After a few more faux chicken noises from my friend I leapt over the rope that surrounded the boxing ring.

"Heck Yeah, Bro! Now, come at me." Snowflake told me as he held up his fists. I took a deep breath before I threw a slow punch as Snowflake that he could easily dodge, almost like I was trying to punch a balloon that could pop at any moment. However, instead of dodging he grabbed my arm and threw me over him. Within seconds I was lying flat on my back and staring at the lights on the ceiling.

"Come on Bro, ya gotta try harder than that." Snowflake said as he bounced from one foot to the other. I got back to my feet and attempted to throw another soft punch, once again ending with me laying on my back when Snowflake flipped me over his shoulder.

This continued for several minutes, Snowflake would dance around me and avoid my purposefully slow punches before he would flip me or throw me off balance with a well placed kick. Snowflake never threw a single punch, he would only throw mocking punches to show off as he bounced on his toes on the other side of the ring. Before I knew it, my punches were becoming faster and harder, but each one was still dodged with ease as if Snowflake was just a leaf dancing on the wind in front of me.

My anger started to boil over as I continued to miss him time and time again, each failed hit reminding me of of every confrontation I had in Equestria. I had my ass handed to me time and time again, when I met Trixie, when I fought those changelings, not to mention the time I failed to run away from Darth Vader's ghost. My only victory was against a bear that I found out was a baby, a fucking baby!

I was the strongest man on the damn planet, but I kept losing over and over again, and I kept getting angrier. Ponies were afraid of me because I was so strong, but at this rate I'd be lucky to win against a paper bag.

I threw another fast punch at Snowflake, which he once again dodged with ease, before he grabbed my arm and hurled my over his shoulder. My back hit the floor with a loud thud, shaking the entire ring as my body made contact with the patted surface of the boxing ring.

"Almost got me that time, Bro." Snowflake teased as I gritted my teeth and shot back up.

"Bizarro make you smile!" I shouted at Snowflake as I ran at him and twisted my body, pulling my arm back to throw a harder punch than the others. I lost myself in my anger, and to my complete surprise , he dodged out of the way and swept me off of my legs with a well placed kick. As my back once again hit the floor, I could hear Snowflake laughing.

"You're right, I am smiling." He teased before I shot back onto my and charged at him. He bobbed out of the way before he threw a punch at my jaw, causing me to fly out of the ring and into a rack of dumbbells.

"Changeling Dung Bro, are you okay?" He asked as he hopped over the the ropes of the boxing ring and rushed over to me. I groaned in pain as I pulled myself out of the pile of weights.

"Bizarro good." I breathed out as Snowflake held out his hand to me. As I looked up at him a dozen emotions ran through me, anger, hatred, jealousy, bitterness, and most prominently of all, terror. My thoughts had finally cleared and I realized that I had just tried to hurt one of my only friends.

"Me... Me so sorry." I breathed out as I backed away from his hand in fear. What the fuck is wrong with me?! I could have killed him!

Snowflake watched my face intently for a brief moment before he grabbed my twitching hand. "It's alright, Bro. Sorry that I goaded you a bit in there, I was just yanking' your chain a bit." He apologized as he helped me get to my feet. I instantly shook my head and returned the apology.

"No, Bizarro am go too far in there, me almost hurt you!" I admitted.

"It's cool, Bro. Besides, I can't really feel anything with these bad Gal's on." He said as he flicked one of his golden hooped earrings. "Cost a pretty Bit ta get enchanted jewelry, but totally worth it Bro. YEAH!"

"But me am strong. How those protect you? Bizarro could have... Could have..." I trailed off as I looked at my shaking hands. I would have become a murderer over a joke! What kind of monster am I?!

"Heck yeah you are, but even you couldn't do much against these. They're made of a special gold they use the same stuff to make guard armor. Smaller accessories are made for ponies working manual labor like construction and stuff. After I dropped one too many dumbbells on my foot, I coughed up the Bits and got some protection." He reassured me. I doubted how well they could have protected Snowflake against an actual attack from me, even if that protected him from a wrecking ball, I sincerely doubted it would be much for my heightened strength.

"Still, Bizarro am cross line. Me no know you were safe. Bizarro nearly hurt you!"

"Relax Bro, you didn't even land a hit on me. It's all good. Now, mind tellin' your bro what's eating you?" He asked as he led me to one of the workout benches and sat down. I took a seat next to him, my own weight causing the bench to groan underneath the new pressure.

"Bizarro am just... Me am tired... Me do stupid thing and now ponies no like Bizarro. And now me do this? They am right, Bizarro am bad."

"What? Bro, everypony loves you. I mean sure, some mares don't like Janefillies like us, but buck them, you're awesome! YEAH!"

"... You no hear them..." I said quietly as tears began to well in my eyes. "So many am so loud... They think me am hurt foals, think Bizarro am disturbed. Bizarro not want be bad, Bizarro just want be normal." I admitted as tears ran down my cheeks.

"Bro, I dunno whose been filling your head with this junk, but nopony thinks that. And even if some of them do, well to heck with them. They just don't see how awesome you are." He told me as he patted me on my back.

"Ya know, when I was a colt I wasn't too popular. I was small and frail, weaker than any colt or filly in my class. So, I tried to become popular by getting stronger, so I exercised every day in my free time, building up muscle and eating healthy to keep it. I got a lot of friends, but there were a lot of ponies who were jealous and didn't like me. Heck, they downright hated me because I was bigger than them.

"My Mom told me that no matter how many ponies loved me, I'd still have ponies who didn't. Ya know what else he said?" He rhetorically asked. "He said that for every enemy I would have a dozen strangers who could become friends. Just because there are a few ponies who don't like you doesn't mean others won't. The world's a big place and you can make a lot of enemies and even more friends in it. Just keep being you and I'm sure you'll have more friends than enemies. Even if ya got like a hundred more enemies a month your gonna have more friends in the end."

"Bizarro... no think of it that way before."

"Almost nopony does, Bro. Ya got anywhere you need to be, or do you feel like going a few more rounds?" He asked as he got off of the bench and stretched his back.

"Bizarro no able to, me and Twilight need see how Trick am." I explained.

"I get'cha, Bro. Come by anytime and we'll do a few more rounds." He said as he held out his clenched fist to me. I small smile graced my face as I returned his fist bump delicately.

"Before Bizarro go, me need ask how you am move so fast in ring."

"Bro, I'm a pegasus, if you asked me to, I could find a needle in a small haystack with a quick glance. I could tell your every move since you telegraphed them. Have you ever even thrown a punch before, Bro?"

"No. Me not really used to fighting." I admitted a little sheepishly. I had assumed that my hightened strength and speed could make up for my lack of experience in fighting, but apparently there was more to it than who had more muscle.

"Alright, then the next time you're here, I'm gonna show you how to throw a punch like a pro. YEAH!" He cheered as he turned around and walked towards the locker room, throwing a fist in the air to punctuate his excitement.

When I pushed open the doors to leave the building, I was able to see a handful of ponies milling about outside setting up stalls or going to work. A few ponies noticed me leaving Snowflake's place and began to whisper to each other as they threw cautious glances my way. I could close my eyes or look at something else, but I couldn't turn off my ears on a whim and not listen to their words.

Each whispered conversation struck my like an arrow in the head, burying their words inside my skull with each hushed exchange. I unconsciously quickened my pace as I went to the hospital before I heard somepony call out my name.

"Hey Bizarro, wait!" A young voice called out. I turned around to see a tall orange unicorn and a short blue unicorn colt run over to me.

"Hello?" I said as they reached me. When they finally caught up, they were both out of breath from running.

“H-hi. Me am Snips.” The tall one orange colt, who I guessed was Snips, said.

“Snaaails. You’re doing it wrong. I-I mean. Me am Snips, he am Snails. We am want hear how cool Bizarro am.” The stubby blue one, who was actually named Snips, said. I never bothered to find out who was who when I was cleaning up the wagon.

“Am you trying insult Bizarro?” I asked in a harsh tone that told them I was not amused.

“N-No. Snails and me am just really like you!” Snips defended.

“Yeah! You’re awesome. I mean, you am so cooool.” Snails said with genuine happiness.

My slowly building rage subsided as I heard that. "You... You like Bizarro?" I asked cautiously.

"Heck yeah! You're incredible!" Snips told me excitedly. A small smile spread across my face as I looked down at the young colts.

"T-Thank you..."

"You're welcome. Hey, am you going to see Trixie at the hospital?" Snails asked.

"Yes, Bizarro was just going."

"Can we come with? We want to give Trixie some muffins we made." Snips told me with pleading eyes as he held out a small paper bag. My smile grew slightly as I looked down at them, they weren't even slightly afraid me, and more importantly, they wanted to make sure Trixie was alright. I was sure she wouldn't mind if her adoring fans came to wish her well.

"Me think Bizarro can do that, follow me." I replied as I resumed walking to the hospital with Snips and Snails following closely behind.

TRIXIE POV

I shivered as another unknown breeze blew past the back of my neck, and I flinched as the mysterious chill but tried to not show too much of a reaction in case those invisible creatures were watching me. I stared the television that hung from the ceiling of my cell "hospital" room with narrowed eyes as I questioned everything around me. I was a performer, I could easily see through all of their smoke and mirrors and see what was really going on underneath the surface. I wasn’t in Ponyville Hospital, I wasn’t safe, but I couldn’t let them know I knew.

The tv was playing a news broadcast of Princess Luna reassuring everypony that nothing was wrong with the night sky, and that what they had apparently seen was a prototype of a cloudless floating building. The news footage of the strange object looked completely unrealistic, there was no way in Tartarus a building that big could fly, even if both princesses enchanted it with hundreds of levitation spells.

It actually irked me that they thought I was so stupid to believe their fake broadcast. Since I woke up I was suspicious of everypony at the “hospital”. It was convenient that my bed was the only one occupied and I’m sure it was just a coincidence that all of the books in the room related to changelings in one form or another.

At first I was tempted to believe that I was safely back in Ponyville, but several things weren’t adding up for me and I didn’t like it. The fact that they told me Bizarro couldn’t see me while I was unconscious made me doubt how truthful they were being. That doubt was only reinforced when a "nurse" told me how I was healed.

Apparently, an advanced Sentry with a magical liquid from another planet came into my room and injected me because an Alien who may or may not have been related to Bizarro ordered him to help me? Moreover, said alien had a massive spaceship but didn’t fly Bizarro to his home-planet to see his sister again? Right, because that makes sense. Also, apparently I was completely fine but I still wasn’t allowed to leave my “room” for whatever reason. Did they actually expect me to fall for any of that? It all sounded completely nonsensical to me, like something a foal would make up on the spot to convince their parents that they didn’t shave their pet dog.

The final nail in the coffin however was a vase of evening-primroses that rested on my nightstand. Next to the flowers was a small yellow card with even smaller handwriting that read “From Bizarro and friends, get well soon.” But what those bastards didn’t know is that Bizarro couldn't write, meaning that he couldn’t have gotten those flowers!

It was all so obviously a lie, and I wouldn’t fall for their trickery. I was worried about Bizarro and I considered the possibility that he was being lied to like I was. Or maybe he had actually managed to get away from those changelings and save himself.

After abandoning you.

But he wouldn’t have left me, right? They would have gotten him too, maybe they got him before me.

Or did he just leave you? My mind questioned. Bizarro can fly, breath fire, shoot ice beams out of his eyes, he's faster than a locomotive and more powerful than an Ursa Minor. He's Superman. He could handle a few changelings, he could even handle an army of them. So he had to have left you. He doesn't care about you. Nobody does. My mind reasoned bitterly as a few tears welled up in my eyes. My thoughts were at war with each other, and my emotions were running rampant as I tried to calm myself.

I didn’t want to think that he left me for dead, that he abandoned me. He couldn't have done that, I was his friend. I desperately wanted to think that he fought tooth an nail to save me. But if he did go all out then you wouldn’t have been in a fake Hospital room. You're probably in a fake Ponyville too, there's no hope. They'll be coming to get you soon.

Shut up. Shut up! SHUT UP!

You know it's true. You need to get out of here, get away as far as humanly possible. My mind warned me. It was right. There wasn't time to think about what happened in the forest, I had to think of a way to get out of this fake hospital as quickly as possible.

TWILIGHT POV

My hands fidgeted nervously as I waited for Bizarro to come to the hospital. He was almost thirty minutes late by this point and I was beginning to feel worried. Bizarro told me that he wanted to come early so he could avoid most of the foot traffic outside, which made some sense after what happened last night at the town assembly. Some ponies in Ponyville weren't reacting the best to the fact that we had a resident from the stars living among us, and I thought their reaction to Zecora was bad.

While most ponies hid in fear of Zecora after Daisy spread rumors about her, it seemed like the citizens held more animosity towards Bizarro. I didn't understand it, it wasn't like Bizarro was a changeling or anything like that, he was still the same Bizarro they all got to know weeks ago.

I hoped that they would all come around soon, Bizarro didn't deserve to be treated any differently than any other pony, he was a good stallion. But most ponies weren't able to look past his species or abilities. Thankfully, nopony had been physically violent with Bizarro, but that didn't mean it couldn't happen.

My thoughts of Bizarro were quickly interrupted as I heard the sound of magic being fired down the hallway before Trixie shot through the doors with a bed pan in her hands. The nurse sat the front desk ran towards Trixie to get her back to her room but Trixie quickly hit that nurse in the face with her bedpan and knocked her out.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing, Trixie was acting like an animal, kicking the downed nurse repeatedly. What had gone wrong? Was this a side effect of that strange medicine? It never went through any proper tests before it was given to Trixie, what if it induced panic and animalistic actions in the subject?

Trixie's rage filled eyes traveled through the room before she started to sprint towards the exit.

"Trixie, please stop!" I shouted as I tried to use my levitation spell on her to stop her but before I could, Trixie ran face first into Bizarro's chest.

"Trick?" Bizarro asked. In an instant, Trixie broke the bedpan over Bizarro's head.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" She shouted as she tried to run to the other exit. I quickly sealed it off with my magic by putting a barricade in front of it.

"Trixie, please stop!" I pleaded with her. Trixie, almost instinctively, charged up the magic in her horn and shot a blast of condensed magic at me. Before it could hit me however, I was pushed out of the way by Snips and Snails, allowing the magic to miss me and blast a sizable hole in the wall.

I stared at the damage with terror, before my attention was grabbed again by Trixie as she fell to her knees and clutched her head in pain.

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" She repeated several times as she started to tear out her mane. Trixie's hands flew to her neck as she coughed furiously and gagged.

"Trick!" Bizarro shouted fearfully as he rushed over to her and helped her up.

"NO! You're not real, get away from me!" Trixie screamed in rage as she struggled in Bizarro's hands.

"Trick, what wrong?"

"Get away from me! Please!" Trixie cried out as she suddenly stopped struggling and fell limp in Bizarro's hands. "I don't want to die. I don't want to die. Please, just let me go." She repeated silently under her breath. Her choked sobs grew louder as long trails of tears fell from her eyes.

Bizarro hugged Trixie tightly to his chest and ran his fingers through her hair as he tried to calm her down. "Shhh. Shhhh. It okay Trick, everything okay. Calm down. You am safe..." Bizarro told her as she cried into his chest.

What in Celestia just happened?