After a accident at a wonderbolts show, they all wake up to find themselves as fillies. And to make things even worse, they wake up in a young flyers contest. With no experience of knowing how to fly in this young body (its been a while) They fail. And now a group of other fillies are destined to become the next top flyers! Will they be able to make a recovery?
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OK, new fic is a GO!
hope you like it 
Sorry for short chapter
i made up for it in the plot raise 
you'll have to wait a bit for a new chapter, as gonna work a bit more on mane 6 play videogames. Hoped you like this (short) chapter! 
*You're. If you're not sure which 'your' to use, read it out as 'you are'. If it makes sense, it's 'you're'. If it doesn't, it's 'your'.
Either 'No time for that' or 'It doesn't matter'.
Er, do you mean 'We'll find that out later?'
Watch your capitals, you've missed one on 'Trixie' (when she's talking to Twilight and Rainbow Dash) and one on the 'Wonderbolts'.
When someone new speaks, start a new paragraph. That's how we can tell it's someone new.
How did these two spells combine to produce this effect? I think Trixie is the one character that this scenario could actually happen, because she's arrogant enough to use two untested spells that might have consequences if they interact in a huge, loud, distracting venue.
However, it doesn't make sense for her to be forced to sit next to Twilight and Rainbow Dash, it's just too convenient. Plus, I'm sure the coliseum would have spots for people to sit to work magic, since a third of their population can do that and it'd just be part of everyday stage production. Maybe that area was having construction done? Or Dash got a ticket to go backstage at a Wonderbolts event? And then she sees Trixie, and of course has to talk to her. Twilight, meanwhile, would likely know the consequences of distracting a unicorn obviously doing big magic, and would probably try to shush Rainbow Dash down. Wouldn't work, Trixie would lose control, things would still go south.
But I think this scenario would make the story a bit stronger. The characters all need reasons to be doing what they're doing, and to be where they are.
That being said... I *love* this kind of story, it is a guilty pleasure of mine. What would happen if we went back in time? Would our much valued maturity and experiences really make what we went through as children and teenagers any easier, or would we be tormented by hormones and still make the same stupid decisions?
I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter, and seeing what you do with this idea. It's a treat that it's already here!
Okay, hum. I'm pretty sure that Soarin is a guy, in the show. Watch your capitals, and *start a new paragraph every time someone new speaks*. Also, for each new idea. You can see how I'm giving general advice in this paragraph, and I will start a new paragraph to address specifics.
Two words stuck together, and what is a 'fresh cheer'? A 'loud cheer' or 'the crowd roared it's approval' would work.
In the second part of this chapter, it's a little confusing what's going on. When I read it through the first time, I thought that Dancing Thunder was beaten to death by a baseball bat, but then I was confused because Dancing's not holding the bat, some other pony is. I think the problem is this sentence:
It's good not to use his name over and over, but the 'he' feels like it could apply to either character. Perhaps instead you could say 'the scared young colt' or only use half his name.
And having him die while screaming for a mother who never came is really sad.
However, having a character that is not in the show and I've never heard of before die is not very sad. I'm not invested in the character at all, so I don't really care about him more than the 'oh, well, he's dead. Too bad, I'm sure he had a full life ahead of him'. Contrast that to how I'd feel if it where, say, Spike who was killed. 'Noooooo!'
I think you have some interesting ideas in this chapter, but you really need to expand and explore them more. I think the two 'youngified' Wonderbolts would be freaking out, trying to figure out what happened. Instead, they just... Accept it? Which would work if they were described as being in shock, but since they aren't, it just feels like this is an everyday occurrence to them.
There could be more description of where they are, and maybe how they feel to be in younger and less strong bodies. Or maybe it feels great, all of the little aches and pains that would come from pushing your body as a professional athlete are gone?
I'd also describe them trying to remember their routine, and the rules for this competition. This could also be why they don't react to suddenly being kids, they're under pressure to preform right away and they don't have an act prepared for just the two of them! They might decide to just do the routine they were doing, since that's fresh in their minds, and go for it.
Then it would be interesting to have more description of them trying, and why they can't. They'd be able to fly, I would think, but their reflexes would be off. Maybe they start, and there is an announcer who says something about how 'This is a new formation for the Wonderbolts!' and everyone is excited. Then they can't quite pull off their routine, and they're wobbling around, and the crowd is confused. Then maybe something happens, they crash into each other, into the crowd, or into the building. The crowd is stunned, what happened to the number one rated team in the young flyers competition?
Meanwhile, through this, we could have Dancing Thunder watching them. Maybe he's not a bad pony, he's just as invested in winning as they are. He's practised just as long and hard as they have. Maybe he didn't want to win this way, he wanted to beat them fair and square. He could be angry at them for cheating him out of his victory, because they basically just went out there and treated it as a joke.
How would everyone else interpret them flying so badly? What would the other ponies assume? That they were drunk? That they had partied too hard the night before, and were hung over? That they were treating this as a joke, because they didn't care?
In conclusion... Interesting ideas, but you could play with them so much more than you have! I'd love to see you go back into this, and expand on it.
1121998 sorry, I guess this was just a bad start for a fic
I should probably edit it a bit... thanks for the help tho 
and it is supposed to be a dark fic soo...
Derp in the description.
"After a accident at a wonderbolts show, they all wake up to find themselves as fillies."
"they all wake up to find themselves as fillies."
"find themselves as fillies."
"as fillies."
"fillies."
What about Soarin'?
1123980
It's a start, though, which is always good. A little more work, and I think it could be pretty fun!
1124443 wow, just did a epic derp