This story is a sequel to Threads and Connections!
Some say fate can be unkind. The loss of his father at an early age has left Shadow emotionally scarred and unable to interact with anyone but his twin sister Trixie. Bord of school Shadow bides his time at home as a game designer until he is forced to go back. On the day of, Shadow has an argument with his twin which leads to a tragic accident and an ancient entity possesing Trixie. With the help of Sunset Shimmer Shadow must travel from the human world to Equestria, seeking advice from Princess Twilight Sparkle. Along the way Shadow meets Flurry Heart, Zany and Twinkle Sparkle, who are from an alternate future. Will Shadow and his companions save Trixie and all of reality or will fate remain unkind?
Daughter of discord characters are used with permission from their creator DisneyFanatic23.
Special shout out and thanks to DisneyFanatic23 for creating a fantastic world and characters to draw ideas from.
Another shout out and thanks to Lunajack for giving life and personality to Twinkle Sparkle and Zany.
They were my inspiration to write this story.
Great job!
Who is the lone figure?? Great job with the descriptions of sets, like "The moonlight danced across the crystal walls creating tiny glinting motes on the floor, reminiscent of a clear star filled sky"
Thanks i am trying. The shadowy figure will be known next chapter 😄
Not a bad start. Its peaked my interest a bit, I'll read more as I go. Thumbs up.
Quite a few grammatical errors, you misspelled ignored early on this chapter and forgot end quotes at one point. You'd probably want to go back over this.
Sweet thanks. I hope you enjoy the rest. Some of my earlier chapters have some gramar issues and will corrected eventually.
Again a lot of grammar errors. You really need to go over this and make some corrections to words. Also I'm not too familiar with Equestria Girls, is Twilight a prom princess or something in this universe?
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The Twilight in Eqg is known as SciTwi and is technically a different character than the one who origginally crossed over to retrieve her crown.
I have fixed much of the grammar for the early chapters but I havent really had the time to upload them.
Twilight was a promo queen in the First EQG movie. the one known as SciTwi is the the human Twilight. Chapters 1-3 got the edit already today. 4 will be later.
Not bad, a couple errors liking missing a period or comma in a dialogue end. Also do they say what the hay like ponies do in the human world?
It depends on if they are ponies who go over to the human world. I have not heard any of the EQG characters say what the hay other than Sunset.
Does Twinkle Sparkle often get confused with Twilight Sparkle?
Twinkle is the daughter of Flash sentry and Twilight. She is a dark violet color while Twi is Lavendar. But from time to time she does. My editor has problems with mixing up the names. Twinkle is an OC from the daughter of discord series. In those stories she is a foal but in Lunajacks story Twinkle and Zany are adults and start dating. 😄
One error I noticed here was that you forgot to capitalize Sunset's name at the beginning of one of the paragraphs.
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Thanks I fixed and I found another small fix as well thanks 😄
How many chapters long will this story be?
At this time uknown i can say that I am close to the half way point.
You really need to include commas in the quotations. That's a pretty basic grammar rule in dialogue.
Example. "We got everything on the list. Time to go home," Bob said.
There has to be a comma at the end whenever you have it said. Or exclamation or whatever, period would be before an action like Bob put the list in his pocket. You really need to make an effort to do proper grammar here. If you're not trying to go that it's not gonna be a good story I think. All those lack of commas completely drove me out of the story itself.
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Thanks for finding my mistakes I plan on going in tonight and fixing them. Thank you for being an extra set of eyes.
Well, better though there were some grammar errors now and then such as when the princesses appeared, you didnt use their titles properly. When introducing them as Princess Celestia or Princess Luna, Twilight, etc... capitalize them.
A few miscapitizled words such as in the beginning you dont capitalize Crystal Empire. uncle Shining Amor needs to have Uncle capitalized, and that sentence needs end quotes where they say he can really talk.